surferman
02-11-2009, 05:17 PM
15 Ways To Squeeze In More Fishing Time
Few anglers get to fish often enough, so here are some strategies to help increase your time on the water.
By Alan Jones
June 1, 2006
1. Work for a failing company, like USA Motors, that's constantly being forced to reduce your hours for budgetary reasons because the foreign competition is kicking their behinds.
2. Adopt golf as your new favorite sport and talk obsessively about your plan to quit your job and become a professional, even though your swing lacks enough power and accuracy to take out a dandelion in one shot. Your spouse will beg you to start fishing again.
3. Work like crazy until you become the boss, then hold lots of "secret meetings" outside the office - allude to being close to landing a big "account."
4. Tell your spouse that you're embracing their hobby of gardening and have big plans to convert the yard to a desert landscape that includes weird varieties of cactus and rare flowers that bloom once every five years when conditions are just right.
5. Become a marine biologist specializing in the feeding habits of bass, including their reactions to different stimuli, such as colored worms and shiny fish attractant devices. You'll qualify for oodles of taxpayers' money, thanks to a cleverly worded grant request.
6. After a rich uncle dies and leaves you a fortune, don't tell your spouse about it. Then, a week later, tell them you landed an incredibly lucrative job field-testing fishing gear for Shimano.
7. Do some research until you find a horrible disease that can only be cured by the gentle rocking motion of a boat, prolonged exposure to the sun, and massive intake of carbonated fluids.
8. If you're a doctor, pretend you have a patient with a horrible disease that can only be cured by the gentle rocking motion of a boat, exposure to the sun, and massive intake of carbonated fluids, and insist you have to go with them to monitor their condition.
9. Bribe your best friend's spouse to call yours and have them, tearfully, ask if you can take your best friend fishing for reasons they can't divulge, other than to say that it's their "last wish."
10. Move to France so you can take the entire month of August off and do nothing but fish. Hopefully, you'll develop a taste for snails.
11. Hire the good-looking tennis pro at your club to have an affair with your spouse so they'll constantly suggest that you go fishing.
12. Have lots of kids and tell your spouse how critical it is to spend quality time with them individually to make them feel special, so therefore you have to take them fishing ... one at a time.
13. Set the alarm to go off at 5 a.m. each Saturday and Sunday and attack the "honey-do" list with such a vengeance and attention to detail that you must constantly ask directions in order to "get it right." Two weekends of this should get you out on the lake anytime you want.
14. Ask your spouse if they think you should invite your cigar club over for a whole day of poker in the dining room or go fishing.
15. If all of the above fails, invite your spouse to come along - maybe they'll enjoy themselves and become your new best fishing buddy. Who knows, it might just be a crazy enough idea
to work.
Few anglers get to fish often enough, so here are some strategies to help increase your time on the water.
By Alan Jones
June 1, 2006
1. Work for a failing company, like USA Motors, that's constantly being forced to reduce your hours for budgetary reasons because the foreign competition is kicking their behinds.
2. Adopt golf as your new favorite sport and talk obsessively about your plan to quit your job and become a professional, even though your swing lacks enough power and accuracy to take out a dandelion in one shot. Your spouse will beg you to start fishing again.
3. Work like crazy until you become the boss, then hold lots of "secret meetings" outside the office - allude to being close to landing a big "account."
4. Tell your spouse that you're embracing their hobby of gardening and have big plans to convert the yard to a desert landscape that includes weird varieties of cactus and rare flowers that bloom once every five years when conditions are just right.
5. Become a marine biologist specializing in the feeding habits of bass, including their reactions to different stimuli, such as colored worms and shiny fish attractant devices. You'll qualify for oodles of taxpayers' money, thanks to a cleverly worded grant request.
6. After a rich uncle dies and leaves you a fortune, don't tell your spouse about it. Then, a week later, tell them you landed an incredibly lucrative job field-testing fishing gear for Shimano.
7. Do some research until you find a horrible disease that can only be cured by the gentle rocking motion of a boat, prolonged exposure to the sun, and massive intake of carbonated fluids.
8. If you're a doctor, pretend you have a patient with a horrible disease that can only be cured by the gentle rocking motion of a boat, exposure to the sun, and massive intake of carbonated fluids, and insist you have to go with them to monitor their condition.
9. Bribe your best friend's spouse to call yours and have them, tearfully, ask if you can take your best friend fishing for reasons they can't divulge, other than to say that it's their "last wish."
10. Move to France so you can take the entire month of August off and do nothing but fish. Hopefully, you'll develop a taste for snails.
11. Hire the good-looking tennis pro at your club to have an affair with your spouse so they'll constantly suggest that you go fishing.
12. Have lots of kids and tell your spouse how critical it is to spend quality time with them individually to make them feel special, so therefore you have to take them fishing ... one at a time.
13. Set the alarm to go off at 5 a.m. each Saturday and Sunday and attack the "honey-do" list with such a vengeance and attention to detail that you must constantly ask directions in order to "get it right." Two weekends of this should get you out on the lake anytime you want.
14. Ask your spouse if they think you should invite your cigar club over for a whole day of poker in the dining room or go fishing.
15. If all of the above fails, invite your spouse to come along - maybe they'll enjoy themselves and become your new best fishing buddy. Who knows, it might just be a crazy enough idea
to work.