talk about stupid

[wish4fish]

Costumed marchers cheer on Market Street in San Francisco during the 30th annual St. Stupid's Day parade Tuesday. The parade, which wanders irreverently through the Financial District every April 1, is intended to mock greed. It was started 30 years ago by actor Ed Holmes, also known as Bishop Joey of the First Church of the Last Laugh - SF Cronicle

[dogfish]

The yuppies said greed is good. :thumbsup: Uh, whatever happened to the yuppies and the yuppie lifestyle? :don't know why:

[fishlipper]

I think I saw the underdog chick from the Stern show in there..:)

[BassBuddah]

They were really stupid!

Not Ready for Prime Time: Two boys, 12 and 14, were quickly arrested in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in March when they tried to rob a woman who was working at a counter behind protective glass in an office, by picking up the convenience phone and threatening her, implying that they had a gun. The woman was in no danger because of the protective glass, but besides that, the place they had chosen for the hit was a regional office of the Port St. Lucie police department.

[bababooey]

CLEVELAND - A carjacking suspect stopped during the crime to ask a television news crew for directions, police said.

WOIO-TV newswoman Shannon O'Brien and photographer Eric Walls were doing a sidewalk report Monday on bank problems when the passenger in a car asked for directions to a bank. The driver signaled that he was being held at gunpoint, O'Brien told police.
The news crew called police and followed the car until officers caught up. Police Lt. Thomas Stacho said the suspect was carrying a loaded handgun.

[cracklepopper]

This is my all time favorite for stupid award, liquor store break-in.:laugh:

8N4C0DLAF64

[katiefishes]

Least Competent Criminals: In March, Christopher Koch, 28, became the latest to wait outside a bank, building up his nerve to rob it, and then finally put on the ski mask and walk up to the front door (of the Citizens & Northern Bank, Liberty, Pa.), only to realize that it was by then 12:01 p.m., and the bank had closed at noon. (Employees got Koch's license plate number.) [Star-Gazette (Elmira, N.Y.), 3-13-08]

[ledhead36]

CLEVELAND, Tenn. - A man was arrested after pulling marijuana from his pocket at a security check at a court. The man was visiting the courts section of the Bradley County Justice Center on Monday when he was asked to empty his pockets into a plastic bowl, a standard procedure.

Sheriff Tim Gobble said the items he placed in the bowl included marijuana and rolling papers. When questioned, the man ran from the building, but officers captured him within minutes.
The man faces charges of having contraband in a penal institution and evading arrest.

[voyager35]

Man marries dog to lift cursehttp://www.thatsweird.net/Pictures/manmarriesdog.jpg
We have all heard the 'man bites dog' stories, but how about a real-life 'man marries dog' tale!

This one takes the biscuit, and it could only happen in India, the land of the Kama Sutra.

But you won't find this kind of love story between man and beast in the ancient Indian sex manual.

It took place for real during a traditional hindu ceremony at a temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu.

The groom in question was a 33-year-old Indian farmer named Selvakumar, and he was wed to a female dog named Selvi.

He married his four legged ***** to atone for stoning two other dogs to death and stringing them up in a tree 15 years ago.

He believed the act cursed him and he had been suffering ever since, he told the Hindustan Times.

After he stoned the dogs he said his legs and hands got paralysed, he lost hearing in one ear, and his speech was impaired.

With doctors unable to help him, Selvakumar turned to an astrologer who told him he was cursed by the spirits of the dogs he had killed.

He could undo the curse only if he married a dog and live with it, the soothsayer warned.

Family members chose a stray female dog who was then bathed and clothed for the wedding occasion.

Selvi the bride was brought to the temple by village women and a Hindu priest conducted the ceremony.

The paper showed a picture of Selvakumar sitting next to his canine bride, which was adorned in an orange sari and flower garland.

The paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.

It was reported that Selvi attempted to make a bolt for it -- apparently due to the big crowds -- but she was tracked down and returned to her new 'husband'.

"The dog is only for lifting the curse and after that, he plans to get a real bride," a friend of the groom said.

Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can beat certain curses.

[cracklepopper]

oboyox3L_MI

[seamonkey]

Watch out for the first one!

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[CharlieTuna]

carrots

[stormchaser]

Who ever thought of this?

[nitestrikes]

No Way?

[fishinmission78]

LA dude went to an army surplus store and bought 45 weather balloons and some helium tanks. He then attached them to his lawn chair. He expected to level out at 30 feet, but instead floated to 11,000 feet. He had to be rescued by helicopter and later was arrested for violating LAX airspace.

[hookedonbass]

A man in Rhode Island was charged with stealing money out of vending machines and pay phones. He payed his $400 bail in quarters. He pled not guilty.

[plugcrazy]

A man in Los Angeles went to an army surplus store and bought 45 weather balloons and some helium tanks. He then attached them to his lawn chair. He expected to level out at 30 feet, but instead floated to 11,000 feet. He had to be rescued by helicopter and later was arrested for violating LAX airspace.

[CharlieTuna]

Escaped thief asks police to open handcuffs (Reuters) (http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/oddlyenough/*http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080616/od_nm/germany_handcuffs_dc)

Reuters - A man caught breaking into a German supermarket late at night escaped despite being handcuffed to railings -- only to be arrested after he ran to a nearby police station to get the cuffs removed.

[clamchucker]

One day a highway crew was painting a solid yellow line and had signs and pylons warning not to pass. Of course they were moving slow and a line of traffic was massing when a guy in a new BMW starts weaving in and out passing cars and flies by the paint truck.

Later he calls the highway department complaining he has yellow paint all over his car and wants the highway dept.to pay for the cleanup of the car. Highways says "yes sir, we will get right on it, may I have your name and address."

Later a policeman arrives at the guys house and issues a fine for every time he crossed the line passing just by counting the yellow streaks on the road left when passing.

[strikezone31]

FBI agents in Jacksonville, Florida, arrested brothers Robert, 54, and Kenneth, 49, Alberton, accusing them of talking dentist John Rende into letting them chop off his finger with an ax so they could claim it was an accident and collect a fortune in insurance money. Rende at first agreed to the scheme, then changed his mind. The Albertons forcibly cut off his right index finger anyway. Unable to continue practicing dentistry, Rende collected $1.3 million. He paid the brothers $45,000. Later, they tried to extort $500,000, so he notified the FBI.

[stormchaser]

Police in Bari, Italy, arrested a man suspected of snatching handbags to finance his drug addiction after he sped past one woman on his motorcycle and snatched her purse. The woman was his mother, who recognized him and reported him, said a police spokesperson, adding, "We were rather surprised by the whole episode, I must admit."

[dogfish]

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener (http://amazon.com/gp/product/1599181533?ie=UTF8&tag=mistupcomtheonli&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=384065&creativeASIN=1599181533&adid=e37ad173-4887-42dd-a18b-53ba0f70a5e1)."

[ledhead36]

In June, a woman walking in a parking lot near Fort Walton Beach, Fla., with her two children was nearly struck by a car, but gently approached the driver to let her know the kids were unhurt.

Inexplicably, the driver erupted, and when the woman tried to calm her by offering her a church brochure, the furious driver grabbed it, pulled her own pants down, and, according to a police report, "wipe(d) her female anatomy" with it (as the mother shielded her children's eyes). [Northwest Florida Daily News, 6-10-08]

[bababooey]

^^This is the kind of stuff that is stranger than fiction. Would have liked to see the video at 11, tho. ;)

[bababooey]

Here's a guy with the stupidest face I have ever seen.
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[bababooey]

stupidest clip ever, light a doob and watch
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[bababooey]

got my eye on you :laugh:
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[bababooey]

he's very popular at parties:D
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[crosseyedbass]

Warning Labels



Actual label instructions on consumer goods:


On Sears Hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary (http://amazon.com/gp/product/B000QMWQP4?ie=UTF8&tag=mistupcomtheonli&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=384065&creativeASIN=B000QMWQP4&adid=c5413c68-9f88-45a5-8ff9-7e499ea7e631). Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like other soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion (http://amazon.com/gp/product/0575054360?ie=UTF8&tag=mistupcomtheonli&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=384065&creativeASIN=0575054360&adid=09c6dfba-db60-4788-94e0-fbfbd7d29ae6): Defrost.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of box) Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive ar or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning (http://amazon.com/gp/product/0743244753?ie=UTF8&tag=mistupcomtheonli&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=384065&creativeASIN=0743244753&adid=e61115c0-dc56-405a-8284-d6adf09deff7): may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

[buckethead]

After completing a six-year sentence for aggravated burglary in 2006, an unidentified male inmate at Peterborough prison has for two years refused to leave, for fear of being deported, and will continue to remain behind bars indefinitely, costing the government the equivalent of about $60,000 a year to house him.

[buckethead]

An unidentified man smashed a 6-foot hole in the wall of the Name Brand Clothing Store in Tulsa, Okla., in August and labored through the night to bust open the safe, but according to the surveillance video, he finally gave up six hours later after making only a small hole in the safe. However, when the store manager arrived later that morning, he found the safe unlocked, probably the result of his forgetfulness the night before, and no contents were missing. Though the crime was unsuccessful, the manager offered to hire the robber, based just on his diligent work ethic. [KOTV (Tulsa), 8-22-08]

[rockhopper]

Michael Mahoney, 25, is the most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he lives with his parents. [Boston Herald, 7-9-08]

[voyager35]

Man reeled in over fishing for women's underwear

Wednesday 01st October, 07:25 AM JST
TOKYO —
A 51-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly using a fishing rod to steal women’s underwear. Police said Tuesday that Akira Hino was arrested last week for stealing a pair of panties from a clothesline on a second-floor balcony.
Police said he used a 3-meter rod and caught the underwear on a hook. He was spotted by a resident who called police. Officers found more than 500 pairs of women’s underwear inside his apartment. He reportedly told investigators he had got into the habit of stealing undergarments when he was 18.

[hookset]

JACKSON, Mo. - Curtis Lemons was supposed to report for jury duty in a drunk driving case. Instead, according to authorities, the 50-year-old Cape Girardeau man skipped the jury duty so he could drink himself.

Lemons received a summons to appear as a prospective juror in the case. When he didn't show up on Monday, a bailiff called his house. Lemons told the bailiff he was too busy to come to court.
Associate Circuit Judge Scott Thomsen instructed officers to bring Lemons to the courthouse. Deputies say they detected a strong odor of alcohol on him. Lemons was held in custody while the DWI trial went on.

Authorities say Lemons told the judge he had been drinking rum in the morning. Thomsen found Lemons in contempt of court and fined him $250.

[hookset]

Why don't they keep them on the trucks. Lawsuit.

When Eric Aderholt's house in Rockwell County, Texas, burned down in June, it wasn't because the fire department was too slow. They arrived within minutes, but none was aware that local hydrants were locked. Apparently, departments know that hydrants in rural areas have been shut off, as part of post-9/11 security, and must be turned on with a special tool, which no one brought that night. Texas law even requires shut-off hydrants to be painted black, but the firefighters still arrived without the tool, and by the time they retrieved it, Aderholt's house was gone. [WFAA-TV (Fort Worth), 8-27-08]

[dogfish]

Man reeled in over fishing for women's underwear

Wednesday 01st October, 07:25 AM JST
TOKYO —
A 51-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly using a fishing rod to steal women’s underwear. Police said Tuesday that Akira Hino was arrested last week for stealing a pair of panties from a clothesline on a second-floor balcony.
Police said he used a 3-meter rod and caught the underwear on a hook. He was spotted by a resident who called police. Officers found more than 500 pairs of women’s underwear inside his apartment. He reportedly told investigators he had got into the habit of stealing undergarments when he was 18.

Fishermen have gadjets for everything.:laugh:

[dogfish]

Drunk chicks
Wa54a7ndYvw

[captnemo]

Why don't they keep them on the trucks. Lawsuit.

When Eric Aderholt's house in Rockwell County, Texas, burned down in June, it wasn't because the fire department was too slow. They arrived within minutes, but none was aware that local hydrants were locked. Apparently, departments know that hydrants in rural areas have been shut off, as part of post-9/11 security, and must be turned on with a special tool, which no one brought that night. Texas law even requires shut-off hydrants to be painted black, but the firefighters still arrived without the tool, and by the time they retrieved it, Aderholt's house was gone. [WFAA-TV (Fort Worth), 8-27-08]

Someone should have been fired for that.

[dogfish]

An unidentified man smashed a 6-foot hole in the wall of the Name Brand Clothing Store in Tulsa, Okla., in August and labored through the night to bust open the safe, but according to the surveillance video, he finally gave up six hours later after making only a small hole in the safe. However, when the store manager arrived later that morning, he found the safe unlocked, probably the result of his forgetfulness the night before, and no contents were missing. Though the crime was unsuccessful, the manager offered to hire the robber, based just on his diligent work ethic. [KOTV (Tulsa), 8-22-08]

Hire this guy for the mortgage bailout.

[bababooey]

^ If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.;)

[strikezone31]

Maybe next time they should ask the neighbor to help them move it!


Robert Garrett, 33, and Jesse Dyer, 32, were arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in November and charged with burglary and the theft of a 55-inch TV, which they had taken to their car, only to realize that it wouldn't fit. When a next-door neighbor spotted them, they tried to bribe her for $100, to hold the set until they could return with a bigger car, but she called the police.

[DarkSkies]

Maybe next time they should ask the neighbor to help them move it!


Robert Garrett, 33, and Jesse Dyer, 32, were arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in November and charged with burglary and the theft of a 55-inch TV, which they had taken to their car, only to realize that it wouldn't fit. When a next-door neighbor spotted them, they tried to bribe her for $100, to hold the set until they could return with a bigger car, but she called the police.



:laugh: I just answered a thread with this quote:

"I don't know anyone who is jumping for joy financially right now, and the latest rate cuts will hurt the seniors who keep thier moiney in fixed income and t-bills. But it could be worse, I have my health and some good people inmy life. It could always be worse. "

This is proof it could always be worse - hey man don't tell the police we stole this and we give you a $100. :ROFLMAO:

How to make mo money :clapping:
_ExURfuTV6Y

[dogfish]

loved that clip :D

[porgy75]

Funny

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