Political humor: Political jokes, satire, political photoshops, bumper stickers, etc

[buckethead]

McSame

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii105/ProfessorO/0101030104070116012008090358464a925.jpg

[buckethead]

http://i38.tinypic.com/yjez6.jpg

[plugginpete]

http://www.toppun.com/ProductImages/Anti-Bush-T-shirts.gif (http://www.toppun.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=377)

[strikezone31]

"Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician"

[plugcrazy]

Read this

[rockhopper]

http://www.bumperactive.com/images/catalog/thumbs/8836-72.jpg

[fishinmission78]

Buy this guy a beer!!:clapping:
Corzine was the worst governor we ever had. What an elite piece of crap he was.

http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=10410&thumb=1&d=1268670978 (http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=10410&d=1268670978)

http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=10411&thumb=1&d=1268670978 (http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=10411&d=1268670978)

[DarkSkies]

Man this forum can get boring, at least to me. While I enjoy spirited political discussions, at times there is too much tension and preaching by one side or the other. :argue:

To try to break that up a bit, feel free to put any political humor, bumper stickers, political photoshops, etc, in this thread.

Please try to edit out any obscenities if you can, and use common sense so I don't have to get involved editing posts.

And please remember to have some class. We can't have racist or other low-class jokes or pics in here. I'm trying to start this thread to show people that both sides deserve to be poked fun at now and then. :thumbsup:

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.


The Pope and Pelosi

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

So......................................... the Pope backhanded the *****.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.










PSALM 2010


Obama is the shepherd I did not want.


He leadeth me beside the still factories.


He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.


He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,


I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.


He has anointed my income with taxes,


My expenses runneth over.


Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,


And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.


I am glad I am American,


I am glad that I am free.


But I wish I was a dog....


And Obama was a tree.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.


The car pictured is a Mercedes Maybach
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload2.jpg

http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload3.jpg

Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof. The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passenger's preference.
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload4.jpg
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload5.jpg
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload6.jpg
NOW, STOP DREAMING, GET BACK TO WORK, AND JUST TRY TO


BE HAPPY WITH THE CHANGES THAT OBAMA

HAS PLANNED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/tomt1951/securedownload.jpg

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.

10793

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.

4XMr3QO2Sbc

'In case you missed his sterling performance on Sat. Night Live, Robert DeNiro's performance was sent to me as I had never seen it of course, and I thought you all deserved a look and a listen if you hadn't seen it before. If they understood what was being said, I imagine the American-Arab organizations were having apoplexy. Aren't they lucky that they live in a country where words are pretty much the worse things they'll get tossed at them, and those in jest! Not like what the rest of the world is experiencing at the hands of their "brothers." '

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.



Professor of Economics 101
This teacher is a Real Genius!

http://cdn.mqstatic.com/files/gunslot/imagecache/page/images/67703.jpg (http://www.gunslot.com/files/gunslot/images/67703.jpg)
As the late Adrian Rogers said, "you cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before,
but had recently failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D!

No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.


10964

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.



Don't forget next Saturday!!! 




WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY



Don't forget to mark your calendars.



As you may already know, it is a sin for Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time,all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.



Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.




All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.




The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.




God bless America !

[fishinmission78]

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
God bless America !


If this ever could happen in reality I would take a day off from work to see it. They should put anyone suspected of having Muslim Terrorist ties in internment camps. Nothing wrong with having more than one Guantanamo.:thumbsup:

[surfstix1963]

Think about it would you really want to see any Muslim woman naked if I were Muslim I wouldn't want to see my wife naked all hairy and smelly no thank you.

[rip316]

Dark, where do you come up with this stuff.

[fishinmission78]

Think about it would you really want to see any Muslim woman naked if I were Muslim I wouldn't want to see my wife naked all hairy and smelly no thank you.

They should lock up all the Muslims in this country, first see if they have any ties to terrorists, and only release the ones who don't. The rest should be tortured like they torture the American POWs.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.



Political Cartoons from around the world

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áWhen you recognize that these cartoons are being published aroundá
the world, is it any wonder why we are considered to be a JOKE.

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áCartoons from Across the Globeá

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[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.


11734

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.

This picture captured on the back of a Marine's jeep is priceless and definitely a "sender"!

11736



I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill

11737






This is so good !!!
Hwy 59 at Hwy 43 - across from Marshall High School







------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign at Hutchinson, KS, 35 miles SE of Wichita





Obama's honeymoon is over !!







Would love to know the Patriot who paid for this sign!

W O W !!!




I wonder how long this will be allowed to stand?
Sign POSTED on Hwy 61, Hutchinson, Kansas


11738

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!



8 Amazing Holes
These holes are not only amazing, but some of them are really terrifying -especially #8
1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr3yZnB-M-pUSa19BSpjhbzZ2quK-XD3EX829qypgWi95e1qi2kR5ZcnHyFaZrDzu1o (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr3yZnB-M-pUSa19BSpjhbzZ2quK-XD3EX829qypgWi95e1qi2kR5ZcnHyFaZrDzu1o)
Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world,
this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds
before being closed in 1914.
The amount of earth removed by workers is estimated to
total 22.5 million tons.






2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California
A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and
water needs to be drained from the reservoir.

This is the 'Glory Hole' at Monticello dam,
and it's the largest in the world of this type
of spillway, its size enabling it to consume
14,400 cubic feet of water every second
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr2PaqQ8FkYsaPeS5htG9bw8llpyUfDc3C0mkYs uXEar9e-l6bYI7O-T6lQgmp_haaM (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr2PaqQ8FkYsaPeS5htG9bw8llpyUfDc3C0mkYs uXEar9e-l6bYI7O-T6lQgmp_haaM)
The hole can be seen at the top left of the photo above.
If you were to jump in for some reason, your body would
shoot out near the bottom of the dam There is
one person known to have had this experience. She did
not live to tell of it.







3. Bingham Canyon Mine, Utah
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr0HFYx5-J6bLW5RM5nl-wEaFJxxD-OVFYHbWrkKLrXodASIHqUZu20TZ_XpPHzrM54 (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr0HFYx5-J6bLW5RM5nl-wEaFJxxD-OVFYHbWrkKLrXodASIHqUZu20TZ_XpPHzrM54)
This is supposedly the largest man-made
excavation on earth. Extraction began in 1863
and still continues today, the pit increasing in
size constantly. In its current state the hole
is ¾ miles deep and 2.5 miles wide.






4. Great Blue Hole, Belize
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr34Ez6xcaBdOmknyUWjivLsFH3TafP0bkCjuwF BLtye05QvdGSX8J0hm0YkvtaPXOs (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr34Ez6xcaBdOmknyUWjivLsFH3TafP0bkCjuwF BLtye05QvdGSX8J0hm0YkvtaPXOs)

This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a
blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize.
There are numerous blue holes around the world,
but none as stunning as this one.




5. Mirny Diamond Mine, Serbia
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr0kDdnkQmCjYba6LOfTYXHf8yjtlZH-X-GlXJ8aws2BOE3_rgpgTIfk8a_kcWQTZ5g (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr0kDdnkQmCjYba6LOfTYXHf8yjtlZH-X-GlXJ8aws2BOE3_rgpgTIfk8a_kcWQTZ5g)
I'm pretty sure most people have seen this one.
It's an absolute beast and holds the title of largest
open diamond mines in the world. At 525 meters
deep, with a top diameter of 1200 meters, there's
even a no-fly zone above the hole due to a few
helicopters having been sucked in.





6. Diavik Mine, Canada
http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr1_IHl77UgVnHt_NDcAd2aVDfnt_aK172GKLSK _FG0K6-4rL7xWXw_oZqezvwrhnCU (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr1_IHl77UgVnHt_NDcAd2aVDfnt_aK172GKLSK _FG0K6-4rL7xWXw_oZqezvwrhnCU)

This incredible mine can be found 300km
northeast of Yellowknife in Canada.
The mine is so huge and the area so remote
that it has its own airport with a runway large
enough to accommodate a Boeing 737.
It looks equally cool when the surrounding
water is frozen.


[/URL]

7. Sinkhole in Guatemala
A sinkhole is caused when water,
usually rainwater or sewage, is
soaked up by the earth on a large
scale, resulting in the ground
collapsing the surface.
photos are of a sinkhole that occurred
early this year in Guatemala. The hole swallowed
a dozen homes and killed at least 3 people.

[URL="http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr1sQ0XRvL47ZLBRptXUXteWO5qfeOFVtuoQKAh J7VNYifpSF4Y_NYFZYqwL-5B71-g"]http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr1sQ0XRvL47ZLBRptXUXteWO5qfeOFVtuoQKAh J7VNYifpSF4Y_NYFZYqwL-5B71-g (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr3yZnB-M-pUSa19BSpjhbzZ2quK-XD3EX829qypgWi95e1qi2kR5ZcnHyFaZrDzu1o)
Officials blamed the monster of a hole on a
ruptured sewage pipe.






And the really terrifying one: #8



http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr3XwojgNagbIUIxHxDy8FiZ5vetuGMY60TsSoN 0lFDMin09_b0Ow8KeyvJercwGsyI (http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq8HdJsHuPr3XwojgNagbIUIxHxDy8FiZ5vetuGMY60TsSoN 0lFDMin09_b0Ow8KeyvJercwGsyI)
This is the famous 'Rat Hole' that you have heard about.
It is capable of swallowing trillions and trillions of U.S. dollars ... Annually! Never to be heard from again. It makes me tremble & shiver!

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.


Discovery Announcement ~ The densest element in the known Universe has been found!
11844



Pelosium:
�A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. �Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. �This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
THIS IS THE REASON THIS "LADY" HAS GOT TO BE KICKED OUT OF THE CONGRESS. KEEP THIS MOVING SO THAT MILLIONS WILL KNOW. THERE IS STRENGTH IN "PEOPLE POWER".

REMINDER, IN CASE YOU FORGOT, OR DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW:

The Queen's Jet (I will pass this on every time I receive it!)

11845

This is QUEEN PELOSI'S NEW JET!!! And the Democrats talk about Sarah's dresses???
Queen Pelosi wasn't happy with the small USAFC-20B jet, Gulf Stream III that comes with the Speaker's job ... OH NO! Queen Pelosi was aggravated that this little jet had to stop to refuel, so she ordered a Big Fat, 200-seat, USAF C-32, Boeing 757 jet that could get her back to California without stopping! I understand that a former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, flew commercial most of the time.
Many, many legislators walked by and grinned with glee as Joe informed every one of what Queen Nancy's Big Fat Jet costs us, the hard working American tax payers, literally thousands of gallons of fuel every week.
Since she only works 3 days a week, this gas guzzling jet gets fueled and she flies home to California every Friday and returns every Monday, at a cost to the taxpayers (YOU and ME are those taxpayers!) of about $60,000, one way!
As Joe put it ...."Unfortunately we have to pay to bring her back on Monday night and that costs us another $60,000!" Taxpayers, that is $480,000 per month and that is an annual cost to us of$5,760,000!!!
No wonder she complains about the cost of this war ... It might cramp her style that she is styling on my back and yours. I think of the military families in this country doing without and this woman, who heads up the most corrupt Congress in the history of our country, keeps fueling that jet while doing nothing.
Queen Pelosi wants you and me to conserve our carbon footprint. She wants us to buy smaller cars and Obama wants us to get a bicycle pump and air up our tires. Who do these people think they are??? Their motto is ...Don't do as I do ... JUST DO AS I SAY!
This is outrageous, forward it to all those on your email list! Keep in mind the figures above do NOT include the cost of plane or crew...just the fuel!!! One has to wonder what the total package costs us?

�And on top of that ... Now she wants to tax our IRA's & 401K's! I know where I would like to put my footprint!

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Fnchaser, thanks!


o'who? - billboard: You gotta love Colorado [redux] (http://harrolds.blogspot.com/2010/03/owho-billboard-you-gotta-love-colorado.html)


From: thy Sent: Sunday, March 28, 2010 Subject: You gotta love Colorado
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_NsD9jICZoBQ/S7KjQA6tCLI/AAAAAAAAA_Y/F4Lp8jcu8Fo/s400/image001-700243.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_NsD9jICZoBQ/S7KjQA6tCLI/AAAAAAAAA_Y/F4Lp8jcu8Fo/s1600/image001-700243.jpg)
Here is the billboard that went up today in beautiful, sunny Grand Junction , CO

[stripermania]

President

11890

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.

11947

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.

Let me hear an A A A A M E N !!!!
Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
Once in a while, a cartoon comes around that absolutely hits the nail on the head.

12017

[DarkSkies]

A Washington DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' the USA is
in trouble!

1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)

2.I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts .''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod
is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o
explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5.An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and
we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the
plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was
dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno ,
Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked,
''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright
(D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to
get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh,
no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told
her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman ( John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''

I was at a loss for words.. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal..''



Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!


And this is my personal experience (one of many) of why education is the way it is: When I was a High School Principal
I enagaged a new teacher with a MA from Columbia University in conversation. She was a history major. I asked her about WW2 in the Pacific. The response: The United States dropped an atomic bomb on Japan, so they had to defend themselves by attacking Pearl Harbor.

Now you know why education is in trouble!

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.





I am appalled that so many of my friends are against the mosque near Ground Zero. We should allow it in order to promote tolerance.


I propose that a gay nightclub be opened next door to the mosque to promote tolerance in the mosque. We could call it "The Turban Cowboy" or "You Mecca Me Hot".


Next door could be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and across the street a very daring lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret”.


A friend of mine just started a business making land mines that look like prayer mats.


It's doing well.


He says prophets are going through the Roof!!!

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.




JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for acup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled, " Don 't touch me ... I'm collecting disability!"

[jigfreak]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.


A friend of mine just started a business making land mines that look like prayer mats.


It's doing well.


He says prophets are going through the Roof!!!








The Muslim clerics are a bunch of fanatics anyway. While some of them may be ok, ask yourself how many of them were investigated for terrorist connections or bombing connections. Truth is stranger than fiction.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.


Subject: Do you think this guy's fed up?









Just thinkin,,,,,, The guy or girl who owns this truck may not be an Obama Fan!


12139

[ledhead36]

:clapping::clapping::clapping:I'm surprised they gave him that license plate. Maybe he got it before they elected him Pres.
I would like to shake that guy's hand.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks.

FW: Seen in Austin Texas
I love Texas and this is priceless.

12230

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Fin, thanks!





There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.






The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.






The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"






The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."






He continued, " Leo you change with Jerry. Tony you change with Bert and Bob you change with Ed."






THE MORAL OF THE STORY:








12380






Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!










Fwd: The Movie Test


This worked for me!!

Have a great day!

Subject: FW: The Movie Test










I got mine right










Don't peek at the list. This is fun!!!


Just a very short, simple little math calculation you can do in your head. I was amazed at how this accurately identified my favorite movie.



The Movie Test

This is pretty amazing!

I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math!

Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most.



Movie Test:

Pick a number from 1-9.

Multiply by 3.

Add 3.

Multiply by 3 again.

Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie.




Movie List:



1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Defeat of Obama in 2012
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story

[jigfreak]

Not just 2012. Remember the elections coming up. Vote the elite bums out of office, one by one.

[i bd fossil]

IT MUST BE RIGGED!!!!!!
I keep coming up with my favorite movie
EVERY time.
#9
GOOD ONE.:HappyWave::HappyWave::HappyWave::HappyWave:


Fossil out

[storminsteve]

Not just 2012. Remember the elections coming up.
:thumbsup: I hope everyine remembered to vote today. The news said as of noon, only about 10% of eligible voters actually went to the polls. That's pretty sad.

[dogfish]

Typical Obama supporter.:laugh:
oM8l3X_7Hkg

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by OGB, thanks!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4AAmW04ko

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Surfstix, thanks.




I was down in The Valley visiting a friend, when I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River one morning. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.



I knew if they didn't get help soon, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan, and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed both the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.



I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps. :don't know why: ;)

[i bd fossil]

darn postal service, did you use those new forever stamps, that might b the problem.

[DarkSkies]

Hey Fossil! :HappyWave:
I missed that post when ya first posted it.
Wishing you a belated happy New Year. I hope 2011 brings you and your family health, happiness, and some decent fish! :fishing:

[dogfish]

Obama can't salute a flag for Chrisssake!
13255

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!


Subject: Congressman & Little Girl
>
>
>
> A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he
> turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you
> strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
>
> The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the
> total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
>
> Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming,
> universal health care, or the stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.
>
> "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics, but let me ask you
> a question first.
>
>
> A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.
> Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
> and a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
>
> The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
> Thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
>
> To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to
> discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you
> don't know ****?"
>
> And then she went back to reading her book.

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!


Fw: Breaking News From Muslim Heaven !! (http://myrightwingdad.blogspot.com/2011/05/fw-breaking-news-from-muslim-heaven.html)



THIS JUST IN .............



OSAMA BIN LADIN has just met with the first of his 72 virgins that Allah promised

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OU3tplnsmgw/TcV8mXWsuBI/AAAAAAAADE0/nUQSKBP9L3w/s320/noname.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OU3tplnsmgw/TcV8mXWsuBI/AAAAAAAADE0/nUQSKBP9L3w/s1600/noname.jpg)


'ALLAH AKBAR!!'

[baitstealer]

Justice! Would be even better if it was a fat guy and not a fat chick

[DarkSkies]

Present for OGB....:HappyWave:

14323

[jigfreak]

At this point I think Capt Kangaroo would be better than Obama.

[surfstix1963]

vote for Obama and your kid will be wearing this:scared:

[DarkSkies]

Sent in by the Grouchy Basstid...I woulda made that grouch post it himself, but I'm just a sucker for a Johnny Cash tune....;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n8K5b3gFvI

[storminsteve]

The only thing that happened since osama got in is the change put us in a toilet bowl with no hopes of ever getting out until someone else gets elected.

[captnemo]

At this point I think Capt Kangaroo would be better than Obama.

I agree jigfreak. This is from Capt Al Ristori's Blog -

http://www.nj.com/shore/blogs/fishing/index.ssf/2012/10/some_great_action_prior_to_san.html

On the way back to Baker's we saw a very strange sight. It appeared to be a giant golf ball coming down the river -- and that's what it turned out to be. A golf ball frame had been rigged over a Wave Runner. There was a picture of the President on the ball with a black stripe through it and the message "Nobama".

[DarkSkies]

16571





Hi Mar FFM

[hookset]

Never forget. Damn straight

[storminsteve]

Snapped these for finchaser. They were demonstrating on the street looking to get the word out.

172781727917280

[finchaser]

Anagrams
















This is one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there
Must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
Wait till you see the last one!


It's going to be hard to top because


It fits to a "T"

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:


When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS



DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM



SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER





AND FINALLY?.


FOR THE GRAND FINALE:





*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA


When you rearrange the letters:





"An Arab Backed Imposter?


Bet your friends haven't seen this one!

[robmedina]

Anagrams















This is one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there
Must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
Wait till you see the last one!

It's going to be hard to top because

It fits to a "T"

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM


SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


AND FINALLY?.

FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

When you rearrange the letters:


"An Arab Backed Imposter?

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!














hah hah very good- especially that last one!

[storminsteve]

worst president ever

[storminsteve]

Anagrams















THE GRAND FINALE:


*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

When you rearrange the letters:


"An Arab Backed Imposter?

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!










This one is for you finchaser.

17908

[finchaser]

Christmas lights

[storminsteve]

LOL!!!!:clapping: :clapping:

[finchaser]

NEW Screen Saver

http://media.y8.com/system/contents/13365/original/Falling_Obama.swf

[porgy75]

hanoi jane
18511

[cowherder]

NEW Screen Saver

http://media.y8.com/system/contents/13365/original/Falling_Obama.swf

OMG that was funny as hell! I didn't realize you can make him move. I thought he was just falling among those vote for obama globes. If you put the cursor on his head, you can make him dance like a chicken or give himself a BJ. Awesome thanks for sharing.
Saw this in a walmart parking lot finchaser. Thought you might get a kick out of it.
18749