One Year Ago Today

[jonthepain]

Labor day, last year, the wife took our kids and some of their friends swimming at the lake. I wanted to go but had some work to finish up.

My youngest son's best friend Jordan had stayed the weekend with us; he drowned while swimming with them. Wendy dove and dove for him, but the water was too murky for her to see anything.

The divers found his body about an hour later.

Jordan was 18 and had recently been accepted into the Marine Corp's combat diving team. Go figure.

Jordan was like a son to us. He practically lived here; if Jordan wasn't staying the weekend here, it meant that Jeremy was staying over his house.

He was the star running back on the football team that I coached. Jeremy was my best receiver and defensive end.

We are going over to Jordan's family's home today for a memorial cookout / potluck / whatever.

Please pray for Jeremy, who misses him, and for Wendy, who feels responsible and needs your prayers, as well as the Gibbs family, who lost their oldest son.

Also please pray for my son Daniel, who is still taking it very hard, and somehow got left out of the sympathy loop.

Thanks,
Jon

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e248/jonthepain/jordanatjers16th800x.jpg

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e248/jonthepain/jordanworking800x.jpg

[Monty]

Jon, my thoughts and prayers for all of you. What a terrible, sad experience.

[surfstix1963]

Oh that is terrible my thoughts and prayers to all.

[Doublerunner]

Man that stinks. Thoughts and prayers sent. Anniversaries like this can be devastating mentally. Best wishes to Daniel

[vpass]

Jon, thought and Prayers Sent. Sorry to hear this, it must of been terriable to deal with, I wish all of you well.

[surfwalker]

My thoughts and prayers are sent to you and family, to help you through these times.

[DarkSkies]

Also please pray for my son Daniel, who is still taking it very hard, and somehow got left out of the sympathy loop.
Thanks,
Jon

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e248/jonthepain/jordanatjers16th800x.jpg

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e248/jonthepain/jordanworking800x.jpg



Times like this, someone is always paid less or more attention to, things get shuffled around, and it all adds to a space where life just doesn't seem fair.
I remember this clearly when it happened last year, and remember how devastated your sons, you, and your wife were.
I felt bad for everyone at the time, and all the families involved. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png

My most urgent thoughts were for Wendy and what she was feeling. There are many situations where life hangs on the edge of a thread, the slight bridge across a precipice, and the difference between life and death is determined by a few short seconds. As these seconds tick on the clock we are doing our best we can to save someone or pull them out of danger.

Accidents in the water or outdoors happen every year. Knowing that doesn't make our personal tragedies any less painful.
When it happens to us or someone close, it stings deeply, and the pain for some of us never disappears, like the 9/11 victims.

The pain will lessen with time, minimize, but that dull ache from not having a loved one in your life, never really goes away...

The thinking process, where you say to yourself..."If only I had done this, or that, he/she would be alive today...."
I don't think that helps us. I understand it, because I do that to myself many times.

But the pain of your wife saddens me most of all, Jon. She was right there. Having never met her but talked to her, I could tell that she is a person whom responsibility and caring for others is a primary directive in her life. Even so, she could not save the life of Jordan. It was truly beyond her control. Somehow, we all have to learn to accept that, but in our own time, and at our own pace. You went over with me the way things happened that day, in detail.
I truly believe there was nothing further she could have done.

She gave it 200% effort, unfortunately Jordan was still taken from us.


These are the times where, in the past, I would lash out at God...and say..."God, if you are good and just, and watching over us, how could this happen? He was an excellent swimmer,,,,etc, etc...things just should not have happened this way!..."

As you and others have tried to teach, Jon, often we cannot fathom the "Why"....and we must learn to accept "What is" to move on with our lives.










Prayer for Jordan...
(I'm not much at praying, but I hope these words can offer some comfort)
Oh God, on the anniversary of this terrible accident, a tragedy that still is imprinted in our minds, one that many of us still suffer great pain when thinking about....

Our belief in your Kingdom tells us that Jordan is safe, and with you.
Our connection with the daily world we live in tells us that his absence is still deeply felt by scores of people who knew him, and now miss him terribly...

Please, O Father, in your benevolence and wisdom, please help us all to understand, and come to terms with the deep sadness we feel. Please help us to find some kind of peace and easement from the pain in our hearts.

Please help us to understand that Jordan leaving us, is but a temporary absence. And that we will one day all be re-united, in your Kingdom, free of pain, worry, and the sorrow we now feel.

Thank you, Almighty Father...
Amen.

[jonthepain]

beautiful prayer, Dark, thanks.

honestly, when i got the phone call, at first i thought it was Jeremy who had drowned. i couldn't help but think, oh Lord, not jeremy, i don't think i can take losing another one.

as bad as i feel about losing Jordan, he was like a son to me, i still felt relieved that is wasn't jeremy. is that messed up? i dunno.

[surferman]

^ I think a parent's natural first reaction when his children are teens and he hears an ambulance siren at night are "hope they are not my kids that ambulance is needed for!" I dont think it was messed up but a relief that it wasn't your son. Still a terrible tragedy. Sorry for your loss.

[porgy75]

Very sorry to hear that, may he RIP.

[williehookem]

Condolences for your loss.