Finchaser's new fishing service...Get the details here ahead of the crowd...

[DarkSkies]

Lots of folks have been asking to be in his cell phone chain....

We were brainstorming, and had a better idea...

Since he is getting close to retirement age, we were throwing around some suggestions, and here's what we came up with...


The Finchaser Fishing Service, with REAL TIME INTEL!!!!!
Normally priced at $24.99/month.
Now, for a limited introductory period of 3 months, you can get in on this for
$9.99/ Month !!!


What you will get for the low price of $9.99/month:

- Finchaser will drive around, going to all the hot fishing spots along the coast...
- When he sees a blitz, he will immediately transmit this intel to all his lucky subscribers!
- You will get real time intel, and if your phone has a gps app. you will get the exact gps coordinates.
- Then, because so many guys today don't want to work for their fish, he will also tell you the exact presentation that's working that day, down to size and exact weight and length.


- But wait, there's more!!!
- All for $9.99, you also get text updates from him throughout the day (I still have to teach him to text, there is a steep learning curve)
- What you will get from him is the OGB messages of encouragement, tailored to the modern fisherman of the millennium years who doesn't have much time to fish....
- You will get messages like or similar to the following, directly from OGB......
and in the encouraging style that only he has perfected..


"You can't find fish on your own and need to subscribe to a service? Shame on you!"

" You must have voted for Obama, you don't deserve to catch any fish!" :argue:

"You are a googan"

"You must be a newbie, you don't know anything!"

"Your an idiot!"

"The fish are at ________ street, 100' from shore. How does it feel to be a true internet fisherman?, you a-hole!"

"Dillydock classes are starting at 7pm, be there."

"You couldn't catch a fish without snagging and dropping a bunker, you are a disgrace!"






We really think that these motivational phrases are the key to success here, as they are offering something no fishing guide or anyone else this target market demographic has thought of... critical analysis and honesty by OGB himself. :cool:

These phrases of encouragement are subject to modification at the whim of Old Grouchy.

We're rolling this out in Oct, but are taking a limited number of applications now...
Paypal or CCs accepted, no cash.
Let us know what ya think....:) :fishing:

[finchaser]

:2flip:you have totally lost your mind :kooky:

You pick one of my least favorite things cell phone fishing

[surfstix1963]

First CB radio's now effin cell phones can't anybody just learn to find fish on their own and they call to telll you they have a blitz of 24" fish I'm not even moving my fat butt for that its not worth hurting the poor babies might just as well go snapper fishing if you can't find them Gods telling you not to fish your calling is something else like cell phones.

[bababooey]

I'll pay $20 a month if I can do a ride along as he does his mobile broadcasts. Hilarious stuff fellas!:clapping::clapping:

[jigfreak]

All the googs should be jamming the phone lines by now.

[rockhopper]

Make sure you set it up so he has a Twitter feed and you will be golden!:laugh:

[cowherder]

Also you should have a video guy follow you around, lol.

[mick2360]

Also you should have a video guy follow you around, lol.

If you've ever fished with DS, you know you will have a video guy around. Of course, you may never get to the water especially if something draws his interest. I once spent two hours on one of the Montauk overlooks while DS interviewed a young couple who owned a moving service. There are probably pics up on the site somewhere! I think we eventually got to fishing.....:ROFLMAO

[jonthepain]

ha ha i remember that post. i thought for sure ds was gonna follow them around the country, delivering finger puppets and pork roll and cheese sammiches to people

[williehookem]

Of course, you may never get to the water especially if something draws his interest. I once spent two hours on one of the Montauk overlooks while DS interviewed a young couple who owned a moving service. :ROFLMAO

Sort of like Garrison Keillor who traveled around the country interviewing different people, except it seems like dark only fishes 25% of the time.:laugh: I wonder what % of the fishing time he actually hooks up, though.:HappyWave:

[finchaser]

1% when you consider he'll fish 72 hours for a fish

[speedy]

then he s a one % er right lol

[nitestrikes]

1% when you consider he'll fish 72 hours for a fish

Either hardcore, or ocd?

[surfstix1963]

OCD he's a man on a mission.:d what mission IDK :scared:

[jonthepain]

just plain nuts.

[mick2360]

Dark, you've been taking some serious **** here. The quiet, something I don't associate with you, has me wondering. Are you down in the basement working on a new video series?

Some ideas:

How to slip into your waders at 5 pm on Montauk's main street.

Tips to getting that last fish in as the boat hits 35 mph.

Secret's to keeping clams fresh under the Subaru's front seat.

Splicing mono to braid; take 17.

[DarkSkies]

How to slip into your waders at 5 pm on Montauk's main street.

Tips to getting that last fish in as the boat hits 35 mph.



Mick, you got a memory like a steel trap!

Actually, Pebbles and I were away and I didn't have time to post. I was reading all the jabs you mooks were taking at me, and instead of getting mad, for some strange reason I enjoyed them.

Some of ya's were so descriptive, down to the particular style of stench that sometimes surrounds me, that I almost fell out of the chair laughing as I read them.

Not much time to post since we got back as I have been trying to balance work with fishing...this is a reminder that we only have a little more than 60 days till the fish action will be down to a trickle unless you're able to chase them with a boat...

So thanks all for the humor and not making a mess of the site for me to unravel.....:HappyWave:
You guys all made me laugh :ROFLMAO thanks for that too.... :thumbsup:


Oh, and BTW, Eff ya's alll!!! :2flip: :moon:
Effumall fishing... for those who have had it with the internet and want some space.... :fishing:

[mick2360]

Just doing my part to help. Welcome back, Rich.

[bababooey]

Make sure you set it up so he has a Twitter feed and you will be golden!:laugh:

Hey if finchaser can tweet fishing and catch reports for 9.99 a month, I'm in, baby!
!!:headbang:

[finchaser]

wouldn't know how to use facebook or tweeter

[dogfish]

I'm the same way, all the losers who spend all their spare time "folliowing" the tweets of the stars? *** is the attraction in that, I'll never understand.

[7deadlyplugs]

Some people are not happy flying solo or trying new things. They don't want to put the time in unless they are sure they will catch the fish or win the prize. I blame the parents for telling the kids that they were perfect. Failure is not an option for some parents, and that is a bad thing.

[DarkSkies]

All those who subscribe to this service will get, as an extra bonus, this special hat for old crabs....hurry, there are only a few left...;)


14310

[storminsteve]

I want one of those hats, we should get one for surfstix too.

[jonthepain]

lol

[DarkSkies]

Just making this service available to you new guys out there...when we roll it out nationally, the monthly fees will be double....I understand the new service will include him calling and yelling at ya once a month...:laugh: :fishing:

[hookset]

I understand the new service will \include him calling and yelling at ya once a month...:laugh: :fishing:

I'm in, as long as I get to yell back at him, lol.

[DarkSkies]

^^ Hookset, rumor has it that if ya yell back at him, he sends guys with last names ending in vowels to you house....:scared: :ROFLMAO




********
Extra bonus feature for folks who sign up before May1!


3-2-12 skunk report....
That's the trouble with relying on weather reports, even the real-time ones, they aren't always accurate.


As you can see by my report above, sometimes us folks who don't live near the ocean have trouble figuring out what it's like at the water's edge....
Now, as an EXTRA bonus with your membership, he will text ya, and tell you, just from the way the water is shaking in his toilet....whether it will be worth it to get out there and fish hard......


** This is in fact true, and something that only someone who lives near the water would be privy to....so sign up now, folks, this extra added feature provides real value to the already bargain price! :drool:

[cowherder]

** This is in fact true, and something that only someone who lives near the water would be privy to....so sign up now, folks, this extra added feature provides real value to the already bargain price! :drool:

I think you are making up stories again, like when you told us you weren't fishing because he's mad you are catching fish in the cold, and a week later, you said oops, I really did fish, I got 48 this week.:rolleyes: :HappyWave:
There's no way the water in the toilet can tell you the weather, is there?:kooky:

[DarkSkies]

Cowherder...you're catching on, that's what PMs are for....;) :HappyWave:
As for the water in the toilet, you'll have to ask Finchaser about that one....


He and Joe Melillo will be at Asbury tomorrow...anyone who wants to stop by they'll be at the Castaways B&T table...:HappyWave:

[7deadlyplugs]

Come on you are playing games here. You can't tell the weather from the water in the toilet. Unless you have tin foil covering your head.

[finchaser]

When the surf is rough the pounding sends vibrations through the ground and the water in the toilet to move

[storminsteve]

^
:HappyWave:Like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8syeTIW1O8o

[DarkSkies]

Just a plug for finchaser's service. Rumor has it that if you sign up in the Summer he will give you a 10% discount on all guided Fall Run trips (you must first sign a notarized statement that you have never livelined bunker for bass or voted for Obama to get that discount) :ROFLMAO :HappyWave:
All new signups in the next 30 days get access to his phenomenal intel chain.

[VSdreams]

Lots of folks have been asking to be in his cell phone chain....

We were brainstorming, and had a better idea...

Since he is getting close to retirement age, we were throwing around some suggestions, and here's what we came up with...


The Finchaser Fishing Service, with REAL TIME INTEL!!!!!
Normally priced at $24.99/month.
Now, for a limited introductory period of 3 months, you can get in on this for
$9.99/ Month !!!


What you will get for the low price of $9.99/month:

- Finchaser will drive around, going to all the hot fishing spots along the coast...
- When he sees a blitz, he will immediately transmit this intel to all his lucky subscribers!
- You will get real time intel, and if your phone has a gps app. you will get the exact gps coordinates.
- Then, because so many guys today don't want to work for their fish, he will also tell you the exact presentation that's working that day, down to size and exact weight and length.


- But wait, there's more!!!
- All for $9.99, you also get text updates from him throughout the day (I still have to teach him to text, there is a steep learning curve)
- What you will get from him is the OGB messages of encouragement, tailored to the modern fisherman of the millennium years who doesn't have much time to fish....
- You will get messages like or similar to the following, directly from OGB......
and in the encouraging style that only he has perfected..


"You can't find fish on your own and need to subscribe to a service? Shame on you!"

" You must have voted for Obama, you don't deserve to catch any fish!" :argue:

"You are a googan"

"You must be a newbie, you don't know anything!"

"Your an idiot!"

"The fish are at ________ street, 100' from shore. How does it feel to be a true internet fisherman?, you a-hole!"

"Dillydock classes are starting at 7pm, be there."

"You couldn't catch a fish without snagging and dropping a bunker, you are a disgrace!"






We really think that these motivational phrases are the key to success here, as they are offering something no fishing guide or anyone else this target market demographic has thought of... critical analysis and honesty by OGB himself. :cool:

These phrases of encouragement are subject to modification at the whim of Old Grouchy.



ROFLMAO! That's like that guy on survivor who was the retired marine and parlayed the gig into other appearances as the crabby DI who yells at everyone. classic!

[jigfreak]

^^^^^^^^Agreed. I would pay a fee just to be able to hear him shout that stuff as part of the ringtone. Think you may have something here ds. The world is always looking for motivational speakers.




" You will get messages like or similar to the following, directly from OGB......
and in the encouraging style that only he has perfected..


"You can't find fish on your own and need to subscribe to a service? Shame on you!"

" You must have voted for Obama, you don't deserve to catch any fish!" :argue:

"You are a googan"

"You must be a newbie, you don't know anything!"

"Your an idiot!"

"The fish are at ________ street, 100' from shore. How does it feel to be a true internet fisherman?, you a-hole!"

"Dillydock classes are starting at 7pm, be there."

"You couldn't catch a fish without snagging and dropping a bunker, you are a disgrace!"

These phrases of encouragement are subject to modification at the whim of Old Grouchy"

[finchaser]

Let's not forget one of my fave's

"You couldn't catch a fish in an aquarium with a net"

These were all terms of endearment to Dark

But you must admit I have never turned my back on any one who wanted to learn unless they wanted to use the internet and a cell phone.

[DarkSkies]

^ Yep if half the fishing population that fishes today were to hear some of your "terms of endearment" they would probably quit fishing. :laugh:
I don't know what happened to the younger generation out there but they are far different than when I was growing up. I remember some old salts (like the OGB) giving me advice but yelling at me if I didn't follow it correctly. :argue:


Quick story, I'll keep it anonymous, so as to protect the innocent:
A newbie was having trouble finding fish, and wasn't able to get out that much. He called me one night telling me he just had to get out there, and was dying to get fish, as his regular places had dried up. I sent him to one of my favorite places, but was real clear that it was tide dependent, and he would probably have to wade out a bit to cast his bunker. I told him when and where, only thing left for him to do was go, cast, and follow my instructions to the letter.

He gets back to me after the trip. Not one fish. :huh:
I ask him if he followed my instructions. Anyone who has had me help them get into fish knows I can be a little intense with the texts I send. I figure if you contact me, it then becomes my job to see you at least get a few fish. So I share some stuff, that has taken me years to figure out. I try to make the puzzle a little less daunting.

Turns out he ignored my instructions on exactly when to be out there .
"Oh sorry dude I was partying and couldn't get out at that time". :beatin:

Then, instead of fishing where I told him he fished 1/2 mille from that.
"Oh I didn't realize it was so specific."

The fishing, for me, has become so sporadic that unless you go every night, or are willing to fish through a full tide, or fish the night through, you won't see these things. At this point even the bluefish had become hard to catch. They were feeding on small bait, in the back bays, at specific feeding windows.

So, with his responses to me, what did I do?
Did I console him and pat him on the back?
Nope, I gave him hell. He reached out to me because he wasn't catching, his one good spot dried up.
Then, when I got totally immersed in seeing him succeed, he failed to follow instructions.

Sorry, folks, but like finchaser, I will give you the shirt off my back if you need it.
If we are fishing, and there is one thing that is producing better than the others, and I have the only one...chances are I will toss it to you, or give it to you and tell you to catch some fish.....
Many in the fishing world have received gifts of tackle or plugs from me, simply because I was catching and they weren't, and I feel bad if I am catching and some one else is suffering.....it's hard for me to be selfish when fishing with or near someone else that I know.....

But he didn't follow my instructions, and then argued with me, that he did.
So I blasted him for wasting my time...and he hasn't called me since.......

I wonder if the folks out there know how many times I got yelled at, in my quest to become better....and made stupid mistakes,,,not to receive empathy for them, but only ridicule........

The times of surf fishing I learned in, were a different era....making fun of or yelling at someone was part of the process....and if you couldn't tough out the harsh comments, you were a sissy and didn't deserve respect of the other surf men.












Finchaser was a part of that....:HappyWave:
Sometimes I think he and I are dinosaurs, part of a bygone era.....:(
I miss all those grizzled, gruff, tough old salts that used to be around, and were very hesitant to share their hard-earned secrets...
Now it's so much easier for the young folks out there.....everything is spoon fed on the internet....and a quick search of facebook turns up all the internet heroes with GPS coordinates and landmarks to give away the hot spot of the week...no footwork necessary. :kooky:

I know this thread was started to be funny.....but.....If I had the resources, I would start a "finchaser SW fishing intro school" and pay him to school any young angler out there who wanted to learn....
1. Tuition would be free....
2. If you didn't do your "homework" and put time in on the water, keeping a log, you would be out, no 2nd chances...
3. You would have to have a thick skin, and suffer through some phrases like the ones above.
4. It would be like a boot camp....at the end, anyone who was tough enough to handle the criticism and graduate would be a formidable surf angler.....because they would have learned with sweat and blood, "skin in the game"....instead of someone holding them by the hand.....



When the OGB is gone from this world, there won't be too many more left, like him.....
We are part of a dying breed of anglers......
3 cheers for finchaser, and the old salts like him.....Russ Wilson "That's a big a size as that fish gets"...creator of the word "dillydock"...and all other old salts out there, like them. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :HappyWave:

[buckethead]

^ Yep if half the fishing population that fishes today were to hear some of your "terms of endearment" they would probably quit fishing. :laugh:
I don't know what happened to the younger generation out there but they are far different than when I was growing up.

I miss all those grizzled, gruff, tough old salts that used to be around, and were very hesitant to share their hard-earned secrets...
Now it's so much easier for the young folks out there.....everything is spoon fed on the internet....and a quick search of facebook turns up all the internet heroes with GPS coordinates and landmarks to give away the hot spot of the week...no footwork necessary. :kooky:




I'm with you on this, and probably older than you are. Have seen it all. I agree the younger guys out there are the laziest generation ever to walk the face of the earth. Half of them won't do an internet search to learn a topic that has been discussed before. They want weather and water conditions regurgitated to them whenever they post. Don't the young folks know that there are dozens of surf cams and weather buoys along the jersey shore that you can access with 2 seconds of typing?
As for staying out all night to fish no one does that anymore. The days of the old saltys hanging at Giglios are gone. Why would they want to put work in when it is all available at there fingertips or in a twitter feed? btw what the heck is twitter all about anyway. I don't even know. Thank you finchaser and rich for all your contributions.

[finchaser]

Dark it was Russ Wilson Russ ( Dilly Dock)

Russ Binns has a boating school

[DarkSkies]

^ Yep, I'm getting old, pal....senility is creeping in......
I did the original write-up on Russ, with your comments.....posts 11-16 here..
http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/showthread.php?5733-Legends-of-the-Salt-Saltwater-Hall-of-Fame-thread

..I'm getting large gaps in my brain as I get older..:beatin:......

And then his daughter came in, on page 2, to thank us for the kind words.....
I thought that was kind of touching....it was nice to hear her reflecting on her Dad....:thumbsup:
http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/showthread.php?5733-Legends-of-the-Salt-Saltwater-Hall-of-Fame-thread/page2

Even the way he went about teaching people, the gruff old school way..if you wanted to learn something about saltwater fishing he would make ya work in his yard for an hour first....and then the teaching came after that..:learn:...how many young kids today would accept a deal like that?









Some things for sure.....
1. There are less and less old salts left out there...each year.....
2. Russ Wilson, and the way he was, is missed.....and not that common anymore....
3. you're older than me......:moon: :HappyWave:
Good catch pal...we don't have to start buying Depends for ya, quite yet....:kiss:

So, are ya ready to head up the Finchaser School, yet? :HappyWave:

[fishinmission78]

Even the way he went about teaching people, the gruff old school way..if you wanted to learn something about saltwater fishing he would make ya work in his yard for an hour first....and then the teaching came after that..:learn:...how many young kids today would accept a deal like that?

I'll venture a guess - none, zero, never happen in this society unless a video game was offered as compensation to the kid.

[DarkSkies]

Still time to get in your orders.....;) :HappyWave:

[bababooey]

I got a better idea. Get with the future and set up it up as a phone app. Sell it to google and market it to the under 25 crowd. Instant win.:headbang:

[surfstix1963]

The Finchaser Fishing Service, with REAL TIME INTEL!!!!!
Normally priced at $24.99/month.
Now, for a limited introductory period of 3 months, you can get in on this for
$9.99/ Month !!!

And if you respond in 10 minutes we will let you add a friend free;) limited time offer you must join in 10 minutes.No Democrats allowed:burn:,if you mention Obama you will be tossed off the jetty with cement shoes:2flip:.No snag and drop crap:beatin: plugs only :thumbsup:, if you take out your phone in the drink it goes this offer is for serious fisherman:fishing: no facebook,tweeting,interweb,texting idiots will be permitted:burn:.If any rules are broken you are not entitled to a refund and your buddy gets tossed with you :2flip:.....

OGB Inc.:ROFLMAO

[cowherder]

^^^^^^:clapping: Haha love it! Awesome promos surf stix! Just think of all those features you get- all for only 9.99 a month!

[buckethead]

Very well written and seemingly appropriate SS.

[jigfreak]

The Finchaser Fishing Service, with REAL TIME INTEL!!!!!
Normally priced at $24.99/month.
Now, for a limited introductory period of 3 months, you can get in on this for
$9.99/ Month !!!

No Democrats allowed:burn:,if you mention Obama you will be tossed off the jetty with cement shoes:2flip:.No snag and drop crap:beatin: plugs only :thumbsup:, if you take out your phone in the drink it goes this offer is for serious fisherman:fishing:
OGB Inc.:ROFLMAO

Those features are enough for me. I'm in where do I send my $?:clapping::clapping:

[surfstix1963]

OBG Inc.
Those features are enough for me. I'm in where do I send my $?:clapping::clapping: