Suicide, can anything be done about it?

[cowherder]

This is startling


Perth Amboy cops rescue man from water after jump from Victory Bridge



JOSHUA BURD • STAFF WRITER • January 12, 2011

A man who jumped from the Victory Bridge during Wednesday's snowstorm is expected to recover after city police officers pulled him from the icy Raritan River, officials said.







The jumper, a 32-year-old Old Bridge man, was hospitalized Wednesday but survived the apparent suicide attempt, despite leaping from the 110-foot-high span, police said.

The rescue began about 2:15 a.m. with the help of an off-duty Middlesex County sheriff's officer. The officer was on his way from work at that time when he noticed an unoccupied car stopped in the middle of the bridge with its engine running.

Police responded and found footprints leading to the edge of the span, Lt. David O'Donnell said. When they aimed their flashlights over the water, they heard a man calling for help.

The officers summoned emergency medical and fire personnel to help retrieve the man, O'Donnell said. But as they waited, the man drifted toward the dock of the Cornucopia Cruise Line, where police met him and pulled him from the water.

The man, whose name was not released, was taken to Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, the lieutenant said. His injuries were not considered life-threatening.




www.mycentraljersey.com (http://www.mycentraljersey.com)

[porgy75]

It's a very depressing time of year because there is a letdown after christmas.
When I was younger a friend's father killed himself with his pistol. He was a firefighter and was depressed. No one knew until he took his own life. That is a very sad story that he felt his life was that bad. Glad to hear he survived.

[jigfreak]

I think the stats say the highest number of suicides happen around this time and the holidays.

[DarkSkies]

Pebbles and I were out for our morning walk today.
We passed by a place where a neighborhood kid, known to us all, threw himself in front of a train last year. He was only 16, had some issues, and didn't feel they were important enough to tell his good friends or anyone else about.

So bottling all this stuff up inside, he figured the best way out was to kill himself. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png
Today would have been his birthday, Today he would have been 17, getting his driver's license, chasing after girls, having fun times with his friends and family...but that ain't gonna happen now...or ever. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png

We saw one of his friends sitting there, by the cross marking where he died.
His friend came to honor his memory and spend some time listening to tunes at that spot.

God bless him, and his family that was left behind. May He guide them through the pain and sorrow they will feel on this and every other Holiday.

And may God give courage to friends to be sometimes nosy about the personal issues of their friends. No one could have physically stopped this kid from taking his life. When people are bent on that, they usually succeed.

But maybe someone could have taken an extra 5 minutes out of their busy day, to listen to the angst this kid was going through, and to try to show him some understanding, caring, empathy, and that he was not alone.....


Remember people, you never know when kind words or a sincere inquiry into a friend's well-being could mean the difference between life and death. Sometimes all someone needs to bring them out of the darkness is a small ray of sunshine, or a sense that others care about them. It's not too much to ask, is it? :huh:

Thanks for reading, and RIP Brandon. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png

[fishinmission78]

This is a problem with the kids of today. I had a girlfriend who's brother killed himself, he was 18. He did it by eating too many pills on top of getting drunk. Sad.

[VSdreams]

A guy just committed suicide at the Ocean Grove fishing pier, hung off the edge of the pier, sad.

http://blog.nj.com/njv_mark_diionno/2011/05/di_ionno_a_life_disappears_int.html

[DarkSkies]

I wrote this in the BillW thread today, it now seems relevant to this thread.....


*****
The old school traditions I grew up under taught you that as a man, you didn't ask for help....who here among us doesn't remember our Dads or a family member refusing to ask for directions...(this was before the advent of GPS, so if you're 25, and reading this, you will have no idea what the heck I'm talking about...):laugh:

The act of asking for help is important..
Sometimes you will not get the help you need...
Or people will not help you exactly the way you predicted or desired....but if you learn how to ask people, you WILL get something.....

And this is important because there are times when there are some things so foreboding we should not face them on our own...the death or a parent, spouse, or child,,,,the notice that we or someone we know has a fatal disease....and there are many others...

There is also the danger that someone who doesn't ask for help can fall into a depression so deep, that the only way out that they see, is suicide...While not common, it's more common than you think...and it has touched the lives of those around us.

By the time you hit your 30's, you will probably know of or hear of a person who has committed suicide. One of my relatives did, and I still think of it to this day...how I was a troubled teen, and thought of it often, and there but for the Grae of God, I could have made that choice as welll...

Alcoholics and Addicts seem to be more prone to suicide than other groups, based mostly on my experience with thes behaviors and friends I have had, and lost....

Other life experiences can trigger this as well.,....when someone you know tends to experience great feelings of loneliness,,,,that's not a good sign either.

You can't prevent someone from commmitting suicide if they have a fierce determination to do it...and often those are the few among us who think no one else would understand the problem they are having, so they keep it to themselves....http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png


If you do know anyone who is behaving differently, withdrawn, loneliness, sadness, depression, try to make the connection to help them see life in a better perspective...if you can't do that, suggest therapy...but please don't ignore it....your regrets for Eternity will not bring them back, or change something that you might have done, to get that person the help that they needed....:learn:

[DarkSkies]

Here's the latest....http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/images/icons/icon9.png

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/02/yet_another_monmouth_county_su.html
Another suicide, another Monmouth County community stricken with familiar grief

Published: Friday, February 17, 2012, 7:00 AM Updated: Friday, February 17, 2012, 10:30 AM

(http://connect.nj.com/user/mjmuelle/index.html)Mark Mueller/The Star-Ledger (http://connect.nj.com/user/mjmuelle/index.html)The Star-Ledger








http://media.nj.com/ledgerupdates_impact/photo/10571535-large.jpg
Courtesy of Donald Cameron

Connor Cameron, 15, of Spring Lake Heights, was struck by a train and killed in Spring Lake late Wednesday in an apparent suicide. His death marks at least the 10th suicide among area high school students or recent graduates since 2008.

SPRING LAKE HEIGHTS (http://www.nj.com/spring-lake-heights) — In a compact swath of eastern Monmouth County, it is a call everyone has come to dread.

Another teen dead on the tracks. Another suicide.
Despite an outreach and education effort by community leaders, school officials and parents, that grim news circulated again Thursday with the death of a 15-year-old boy from Spring Lake Heights.

Connor Cameron, a competitive bodyboarder and popular student at a county vocation school, stepped in front of a northbound NJ Transit train in Spring Lake about 10 p.m. Wednesday. As the engineer applied the brakes and slammed the horn so hard it jammed, Cameron made no move to escape, a spokesman for the agency said.

Connor’s death, just north of the Wall Road crossing, marked the 10th apparent suicide of a high school student or recent graduate in the area over the past four years. Seven of those have come on the railroad tracks.

And once again, a community is thrust into grief.
"Everyone is aware of how big the problem has been, and we’re trying to give these kids every alternative before they do something they can’t take back," Spring Lake police Lt. Gerald Preston said.

In Connor’s case, a family member and school officials said they saw no sign of depression or despondency.
"The whole family is in complete shock," said Donald Cameron, 20, Connor’s cousin. "The last time I saw him he seemed fine. I went back over his Facebook status updates, and there’s nothing that would make me worry. He was loved by every member of this family, and there was no problem at all."

Donald Cameron said Connor, an only child, had been raised by his father since his mother’s death from cancer several years ago. The bond between father and son was tight, he said.
"I can only imagine what my uncle is going through right now," he said.

http://media.nj.com/ledgerupdates_impact/photo/10567613-large.jpg

Jerry McCrea/The Star Ledger

Connor’s death, just north of the Wall Road crossing, marked the 10th apparent suicide of a high school student or recent graduate in the area over the past four years. Seven of those have come on the railroad tracks.

Cameron, who went to Manasquan High School as a freshman, moved at the beginning of his sophomore year to KIVA High School, part of the Monmouth County Vocational School District.

Principal Denise Kebeck called Connor an above-average student who was involved in the automotive service program at the Tinton Falls school.

"For both the students and the teachers, it’s been a very tough day," Kebeck said. "He was very well-liked. He had a lot of friends, and the teachers enjoyed him. He made us laugh as he skipped down the halls doing what we called his Irish jig heel-clicks."
She said Connor most enjoyed body-boarding and hoped to make a living at it professionally after graduation. At the time of his death, he was soliciting endorsements as he competed in tournaments in New Jersey and elsewhere.
"That was his passion," Kebeck said.

She said counselors were made available Thursday and will be on hand for students again today.

That support network has become routine in Spring Lake, Spring Lake Heights, Belmar and other nearby communities affected by the suicides. Last night, counselors from the nonprofit Samaritan Center of the Jersey Shore gathered at the Spring Lake Heights Recreation Center to help students and parents deal with Connor’s death.

The suicides began in 2008. Lisa Schenke’s son, 18-year-old Tim Schenke, was among the first to take his life. Suffering from depression for years, he stepped in front of a train at the same crossing where Connor died.

Since then, Lisa Schenke has worked with others in the community to stem the deaths. Last night, she said many suicides have been averted.

"I’m very sad this happened," she said of Connor’s death. "But I also want to point out that numerous kids have fought it and reached out for help. You aim for zero, and we have not achieved zero, but we are definitely improving in prevention."





**She urged anyone feeling troubled or suicidal to reach out to the 2nd Floor Youth Helpline, a statewide counseling hotline. The 24-hour service can be reached by calling (888) 222-2228.

[DarkSkies]

I posted the above not because I knew Connor Cameron, but I am familiar with suicide....
I was a troubled teen, had thought of this as an option several times....

[DarkSkies]

This from the Wall Patch....



http://wall.patch.com/articles/question-of-the-day-youth-suicide

Since 2008, several local youths have died after being hit by trains (http://manasquan.patch.com/articles/train-crash-death-of-point-pleasant-woman-ruled-suicide).

Many of them have been confirmed suicides (http://manasquan.patch.com/articles/there-is-life-beyond-the-tracks).
The most recent death on the tracks was Wednesday night, when a 15-year-old Spring Lake Heights resident (http://manasquan.patch.com/articles/spring-lake-heights-teen-killed-by-train) stepped in front of a train and, according to a preliminary report, he never tried getting out of the way.


Why does this keep happening?
What is causing our troubled youths to feel like their only option is to end their lives?
How can we help?

[DarkSkies]

The folks here know I know some surfers....
Some who fish, and some who just surf......


I didn't know Connor Cameron, but I was told they had a fitting tribute to him this weekend......

They had a "Paddle Out" near the Pavilion....I was told about 4oo people came there......

He loved to surf, as mentioned in the article...
I thought this was a moving tribute that his friends would do this in his memory.....:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[surfstix1963]

I don't know why either one can only speculate could it be both parents are working and struggling their butts off to keep afloat not having the time to spend with their kids,problems in school,drugs,the hard cold fact you are becoming an adult and have to fend for yourself in the real world.I have always encouraged my kids to talk to me about anything with no punishment unless it was well deserved I have always listened given my point of view tried to steer them from wrong,I don't think you can stop it, your mind is very powerful in a positive and negitive way. I am finding this out myself and without going to deep I've been struggling with depression for some time now and its damn hard to fight it off nothing seems to matter everyday is a struggle to get through, I've lost interest in all that I had a passion to do before. I try my butt off everyday to get out of this hole so I think the only way to avoid suicide is to face it dead on and see who wins you or your brain.

[cowherder]

If you do know anyone who is behaving differently, withdrawn, loneliness, sadness, depression, try to make the connection to help them see life in a better perspective...if you can't do that, suggest therapy...but please don't ignore it....your regrets for Eternity will not bring them back, or change something that you might have done, to get that person the help that they needed....:learn:


I,I don't think you can stop it, your mind is very powerful in a positive and negitive way. I am finding this out myself and without going to deep I've been struggling with depression for some time now and its damn hard to fight it off nothing seems to matter everyday is a struggle to get through, I've lost interest in all that I had a passion to do before. I try my butt off everyday to get out of this hole so I think the only way to avoid suicide is to face it dead on and see who wins you or your brain.

I too don't think you can stop someone if they are real determined. Dark congrats on making it through the things you have gone through. Surfstix I was kind of sad reading what you posted. I don't know how I could help but if I could please let me know. I appreciate the honesty you wrote there. I have had times of depression too. I hope things work out for you.
Great thread guys.

[clamchucker]

In the development where I live the grandson of a neighbor took his own life 2 years ago. I am still having trouble understanding why teens would do this. I think one of the things we need to do is go back to old fashioned family values, where the families eat together a few times a week. Many of the families I know do not do that. Another thing I think that is bad is the way many teens are completely absorbed in their electronics that they now use. What happened to family interaction and conversations? When we get together for the holidays there are usually 2 or 3 of the young folks constantly texting their friends. I don't say anything because I don't want them to think of me as an old fogey. I still think that when they come to a family dinner they should put their electronics away and try to be part of the conversations. Thank you for trying to put a light on this Dark Skies.

[DarkSkies]

II don't think you can stop it, your mind is very powerful in a positive and negitive way.

I am finding this out myself and without going to deep I've been struggling with depression for some time now and its damn hard to fight it off nothing seems to matter everyday is a struggle to get through, I've lost interest in all that I had a passion to do before. I try my butt off everyday to get out of this hole so I think the only way to avoid suicide is to face it dead on and see who wins you or your brain.

Thanks for your honesty surfstix. I have struggled with depression through my life as well. The thing that gets me through it is to try to think of the better possibilities that could happen tomorrow. I will admit though, that it it ain't easy. It has touched my circle of family and friends.
Each tme it happens I feel helpless, and there is a sadness that is unlike any other.

For me, I have learned that by talking about things going on in our lives, it can be therapeutic if we try to find solutions. Not talking about it, and isolatng, as I sometimes have done, doesn't get me anwhere, Thanks for sharing that. I hope things may be gradually become better for you now that you reached the settlement and can try to move on. I'm always available to talk, just pick up the phone, bro.....:HappyWave:


I too don't think you can stop someone if they are real determined. Surfstix I was kind of sad reading what you posted. I don't know how I could help but if I could please let me know. I appreciate the honesty you wrote there. I have had times of depression too. I hope things work out for you.
Great thread guys.

The sense of community and caring by members here blows me away sometimes. I agree cowherder. If someone really wants to do it there is a good chance they will not be sharing their plans with others. God Bless them all and help to provide guidance to anyone who seeks it.


In the development where I live the grandson of a neighbor took his own life 2 years ago. I am still having trouble understanding why teens would do this. I think one of the things we need to do is go back to old fashioned family values, where the families eat together a few times a week. Many of the families I know do not do that. Another thing I think that is bad is the way many teens are completely absorbed in their electronics that they now use. What happened to family interaction and conversations? Thank you for trying to put a light on this Dark Skies.

Thanks for your perspective clamchucker. I agree. Our society today is much different than I remember growing up. We have gotten away from family values and family time spent together. IMO any activities which allow one to isolate themself from others, can be bad if you are prone to depression.

[DarkSkies]

Someone in our extended circle of friends and family recently killed herself.
It was a severe shock to Pebbles and I...we never saw it coming.....

If you know someone in your circle, and they seem unhappy....please do them a kindness and reach out and check in with them, maybe more often than you regularly do......we all lead busy lives, but a simple 10 minute phone call can make a world of difference to someone who is facing depression and the issues associated with it.....

There is no attempt at guilt here....when someone makes that ultimate choice to end their lives, it's on them. It's not healthy to feel guilty about it. Most of the times, there are no signs or clues....In my experience those really looking for suicide as a solution will rarely talk about it.....if someone is not open and honest about their feelings, there is not much chance you will be able to stop them.




However, if someone does mention to to you, and reaches out, even by casually mentioning it, please take them seriously.....

You never know how much difference you can make in someone's life, just with a few kind and caring words,......

Our Heavenly Father.....please watch over her, as she is now with you.....
And shine your Benevolence on family and friends she left behind....:(

[clamchucker]

Sorry to hear the news dark skies. Prayers sent.

[buckethead]

Condolences and T&P to the families. Some good points in this thread.

[seamonkey]

sorry for the loss, t&p

[DarkSkies]

Haven't looked at this thread in awhile.....
Thanks to all for the kind words.......:HappyWave:

1. Pebbles and I recently visited a graveyard in Ocean County because her Dad is buried there.....it struck us, how many of their graves, were young people....those who seemed to be in their 20's or younger......
I don't know if this was from suicide.....but thought it might be worth mentioning......



2. Also thought it worth mentioning....
That we can't always see the signs when someone we know is contemplating suicide....
A prolonged, deep depression, can be one of the indicators, but not always.......


Time and time again....I have echoed this theme in several threads here........
If you know someone who you haven't talked to recently.....and seems down on their luck or depressed....try to make that effort to reach out and let them know they mean something to you.....and try to bring them some cheer or laughs......





**You can't stop someone who is determined to kill themselves....I learned that with my own family....but a kind word or some laughs between friends...here and there.....can be more effective than you could ever know, for someone who is struggling with depression......:learn:

[DarkSkies]

Someone sent me some sad news today...
Pebbles and I used to like watching "Everyone Loves Raymond".
The young actor who plays Geoffrey shot and killed himself in Texas the other day......

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/everybody-loves-raymond-suicide-actor-791143

"At this time I would like to encourage everyone to reach out to the ones you love," Madylin Sweeten wrote on her Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/bettyboopgurl) Thursday. "Let them have no doubt of what they mean to you."






The words posted by his mother above are powerful......
Parents, hug your children today.....
And if there is someone in your life...who you haven't reached out to in a while....and might have been thinking about....
Please consider this as your permission to reach out to them.......

You never know how a kind word may make a difference in someone's life....

My deepest condolences to the Sweeten family....at this most difficult time...

[plugcrazy]

rip

[robmedina]

I don't understand it myself. There is a guy who co owned an Electrical company that does work for me in NYC. They did a job for me, they did a crappy job and had trouble paying their sub contractors. Then I find out the guy shot himself because he was in so much debt. He was married with 5 kids I believe. To me he is a coward. His family not only has to suffer the loss of their dad/ husband but have to settle his debt as well. They loose everything.

I just don't understand it. I love my wife and kids way too much to just bail on them.

[fishinmission78]

Rip

[clamchucker]

His family not only has to suffer the loss of their dad/ husband but have to settle his debt as well. They loose everything.

I just don't understand it. I love my wife and kids way too much to just bail on them.

I love my family and grandchildren as well. I don't understand suicide either. Apparently the numbers are high for police officers and soldiers. My nephew told me about this motorcycle run to raise awareness and thought I would place the notice.

http://www.patriotconnections.org/events/1st-annual-suicide-awareness-ride/

[buckethead]

Another sad suicide. This time in hunterdon county. She had so much to live for, RIP
http://www.nj.com/hunterdon/index.ssf/2017/12/death_of_hunterdon_central_student_a_suicide_schoo .html#incart_river_index