thanks. i decided not to worry about it. if he cooked it, there was no alcohol left. if he didn't, there couldn't have been more than a drop in it.
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thanks. i decided not to worry about it. if he cooked it, there was no alcohol left. if he didn't, there couldn't have been more than a drop in it.
Jon, everything is ralative in our recovery. At first, I wouldn't even take an aspirin or ibuprofen. Then it was explained to me that if we're in severe pain, it's hard to concentrate on recovery, so I use these things when I need them. I have some vicodin they gave me one time for a bad tooth but I keep it at my girlfriend's house. I don't want to take it unless I feel it's absolutely needed, so far it hasn't been.
As for products with traces of alcohol, I try to stay away from them. I don't eat rumballs, but I have on occasion. I don't believe one or 2 will mess up my recovery, just as I don't believe what happened to you necessitates a restarting of the clock.
I remember once in my early recovery I had an alcoholic girlfriend. She filled a glass with Comfort and coke and gave it to me when we were in a hotel, told me it was just soda. After sipping it, I knew it was comfort and dumped her soon after. I understand why she did it, she as an alcoholic wanted other people close to her to participate in her behavior.
That brings me to the discussion of near beer, O'Douls and those brands. A family member who is an alcoholic tried to justify it early in his recovery, saying it wouldn't affect him, he should be "allowed" to drink it.
We got into an argument over it because he was bragging how well he was doing not partaking of his other addictions. I guess he was looking for approval, and I couldn't give approval for that. This same family member, who admits he also had a gambling problem, recently confided that he's been going to the casinos by himself, and sees nothing wrong with it. He gets involved in all these things where the behavior, isolating behavior, seems justified to him.
I also have a lifetime friend who stoutly defends his right to drink O'Doul's just like my family member does. I can tell you that my lifelong friend has been in and out of sobriety many times, and only managed to pull together a few years of sobriety in the 25 years he has been "trying" to stay sober. :rolleyes:
So this thing about O'doul's isn't a dig at you jon, please don't take it personally.
It's more a reflection of the people in my life who say they're serious about their sobriety, but their actions don't show that.
Behavior where one isolates themselves is one of the marks of alcoholism and addiction. If you're not doing that, Jon, you're fine, and I'm sure God and Bill W will forgive you. :HappyWave:
The most important thing I would ask myself or any alcoholic is: Is the behavior you're doing something that you do by yourself?
If it is, it might be leading you back to addiction.
Again, I also ask people how well they know themselves. In your heart of hearts, only you know if you're in danger of veering off the path or not. Justifying it to others, or asking for approval from friends or family, is a way of telling you that something is probably amiss with that behavior.
Sorry to stray so far off topic Jon, but your post rememded me of some stuff I have going on in my family right now.
"ya know, if it's not one thing it's every thing"
This sentence you wrote clinched it all, I say amen to that! For me, lately everything has been going wrong at once. As long as I don't drink or get high over it, it will get better. And it will get better for you too, my friend. :)
Look forward to seein ya celebrate your 5 year(one day at a time) anniversary, in July or August? :thumbsup:
Hitting Bottom
Few people will sincerely try to practice the AA program
unless they have hit bottom. . .
Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to AA
and we discover the fatal nature of our situation.
Then, and only then, do we become open-minded to conviction
and as willing to listen as the dying can be.
We stand ready to do anything which will lift the merciless obsession from us.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 24
Thought to Ponder....
Pain is what I walk through. Misery is what I sit in. :learn:
I am absolutely sure I would be dead today if I didn't come to find the program. I didn't seek it willingly, I screwed up my life beyond repair and there was no hope left for me, or so I thought.
I had to hit bottom to do it. Lots of people tried to talk with me, reason with me that I was digging myself into an early grave. I told em all to go eff themselves.:2flip:
I didn't want anyone's help or advice. I had to learn the hard way, smashing my head against a brick wall time and time again until the figurative blood dripping down my eyes made it too cloudy for me to see.
When I was at the end of my rope, was when I was willing to listen, nothing else would have worked for me. How about you?
May 10, 2009
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Selfishness
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example
of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition], Page 62.
Thought to Ponder....
Paradox: We surrender to win; we give away to keep;
we suffer to get well; we die to live.
The recovering alcoholics/addicts I've come to know are some of the kindest and coolest people. Theyre also some of the most selfish.
Being on the path to recovery does not guarantee someone will automatically get a spiritual awakening as to how their behavior affects others. People continue to pattern their behavior based on old tapes playing in their head. Furthermore, the program talks about selfishness as a good thing, as in we must first learn to focus on ourselves, and not others, if we want to get better.
Sometimes that presents us with a bit of a paradox. How can I focus on helping myself, you might ask, if I'm also supposed to help others? :huh: All of this becomes more easy to understand the more time you have in the program, the more you work on your steps, and the more you seek to improve yourself as a person.
I'm phrasing the above comments with Mothers everywhere in mind. Today being Mother's Day, it's one day of the year when we pay tribute to someone in our lives who has likely spent many of her best years unselfishly raising us.
The Mothers who walked the floors of the house worrying about us at 3am when we had a 102 fever, and waited for that fever to break.
The Mothers who cared for us in our sickness and trauma as children, and enjoyed the good times with us as well.
The Mothers who put the comfort and needs of their children above their own, buying their children the things they needed to "fit in", even though they were sometimes more expensive. Meanwhile, the Mother shopped for herself at discount or bargain stores to keep within the family budget. (I remember my Mother doing that, anyone else out there have the same experience growing up?)
The Mothers who realize that every child grows into an adult, and will soon be on their own, but still maintain that bond of caring and unselfishness through their whole life. :clapping: :thumbsup::thumbsup:
I'm grateful my Mom is still alive, one day at a time.
Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and all the Mothers out there!! :HappyWave: :kiss: :heart: :kiss: :heart: :HappyWave:
Steve came home a coupla weeks ago. He lost his place in the halfway house cuz he quit his job.
Steve is drinking again.
Jon, so sorry to hear that. It kills me a little inside each time I read a story like this. One of the best examples I remember was Frankie M. who along with Joe B were my inspirations when I first entered the rooms. They were heavy into drugs and drinkin, I figured it they could get sober, anyone could.
They had their lives on track, had some good relationshoips in their sobriety, the women were flocking to be around them because of the new people they had become, and they were genuinely good guys who everyone wanted to be around. Life was good for them, and they were great examples. Then Frankie started getting high again for some reason, and slowly deteriorated until he died.
I wanted so bad to help him, made the offers, but he didn't want the help. Same for another friend of mine who has just now celebrated 2 years sober after being in the program 20 years. 2 years ago he was back to his old tricks and dabbling in the powders and chemicals.
The saddest thing about this problem is that help is just a phone call or a meeting away, but no one can GIVE your sobriety to you.
You have to want it.....
Want it so bad that you are willing to listen to any stupid thing they tell you to do, no matter how stupid it sounds.
Want it so bad that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Want it so bad because you are finally realizing all the relationships, family and friends, you tossed by the wayside because your addiction was mor important.
Want it so bad because you stop playing the game when you hear tragic news and saying: "Man that guy/girl was really bad off - I could never be that bad! :kooky:
I'm sorry to hear that news about your friend,John. Some people have to die for us to stay sober. It sucks to hear that, but when someone doesn't want help, there is nothing you can do but let them know youre there for them.
I believe you are that kind of a friend Jon, and that you will help him if he asks. Meanwhile, maybe he needs to fall a little further.
The hardest thing for you to do is watch it and realize you are powerless.
The hardest thing he has to do is humble himself and ask for your help. That becomes more difficult each time we screw up, we let our foolish pride get in the way.
I'll keep praying for Steve, that's all I (or you) can do. :thumbsup:
you're right. and thanks for the prayers.
^^Thanks, Jon. I love ya too man, but not enough for a reach around. :laugh: :HappyWave:
Daily Reflections
A LIST OF BLESSINGS
One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my
blessings. . . .
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing
the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with
having been born of sound mind and body. I went through
seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list
ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health,
family, money, A.A.-- the whole gamut.
Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and
to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my
gratitude list, it's very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.
It's easy to forget how much we have to be grateful for. I know I lose track of this sometimes. I'm also grateful to have friends in the program, and my life, who tell me to slow down once in awhile, all kidding aside. ;)
Okay, I got a question.
The last day that I had a drink - (ok, not A drink, but still, you know what I mean) - was on Memorial Day, 2004.
Do I start my clock as the day after Memorial Day, (which is today,) or do I start my clock June 1, 2004 (which is my first day of sobriety by the calendar?)
Memorial Day just happened to fall on May 31 in 2004.
Jon, keep it simple, we alcoholics sometimes have a way of complicating things, that's one of my challenges as well. I would use June 1, hope this helps.
My date is July 9, easy to remember, 5 days after the 4th. ;) :HappyWave:
May 27, 2009
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The Solution
The tremendous fact for every one of us
is that we have discovered a common solution.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition], Page 17.
Thought to Ponder....
The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.
That's a lot easier than that hyped up program "The Secret!" where you pay $30 for a crappy tape that only helps you to realize you made the seller of that tape $30 richer by buying it! :laugh: At least with the program, if you do the work, you willn have results. If you're still not happy, your misery will be happily refunded. ;)
Please pray for me - I'm having an allergic reaction to an insect bite acquired Monday. Same symptoms as 7 yrs ago, which put me in ICU for 5 days and cost me $17,000. I literally flatlined and they brought me back my first night there.
Got a big presentation at 10:00 then I think they'll let me go home.
Thanks
B
I'll be prayin for ya, bud, hang in there. Let me know if there's anything else I can do besides prayer.
Meditation For The Day
Love is the power that transforms your life. Try to love your
family and your friends and then try to love everybody that you
possibly can, even the "sinners and publicans" everybody. Love
for God is an even greater thing. it is the result of gratitude
to God and it is the acknowledgment of the blessing that God has
sent you. Love for God acknowledges His gifts and leaves the way
open for God to shower yet more blessings on your thankful heart.
Say "Thank you, God," until it becomes a habit.
We can say thank you to God, or thank you to those who have extended a helping hand, or some kind words, to us.
Not only alcoholics can benefit from this passage.
One key thing my parents taught me early on was to say "thank you". Many times we think it's understood or implied. I say don't make that assumption. I try to remember tha manners that were taught me every day. I find that the more you thank people, the more they realize the appreciation you have for them, and the more likely you are to develop lasting relationships with others.
I helped a new guy the other day who was fishing for the second time. Maybe I went a little overboard, but I wanted to see him catch a fish. His gratitude was boundless, he must have said thank you 10x. I explained to him that many people have helped me. If I cannot help others, what does that say about me? http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif
That's really profound, Rich.
Man, anniversary dates ARE important. Even though it's one day at a time, a 5 year anniversary is a milestone!! I didn't want to embarass you before ya mentioned that it was you, but I'm proud of ya man!
In fact,
Congrats and :clapping::clapping: are in order!! 5 years sobriety for jonthepain!! :thumbsup::thumbsup:
You can be proud of that achievement, many walk through the doors, but few stick it out to maintain their sobriety. I'm proud of ya man, here's to more sobriety, ODAT. And I know life kinda sucks for you now, I can only hope it gets better. :thumbsup:
Meanwhile, there is nothing so bad that drinking won't make worse. I had a dream last night that I was goin to buy some coke at an inflated price from a guy who I knew had undercover surveillance on him, and I was arrested in my dream. This was such a stupid dream because I hardly ever did coke when I got high. There were much better drugs out there, that lasted longer than that 10 minute high.
Yet here I was in my dream, buying a drug I hadn't much interest in, go figure.
Our addictions are cunning, baffling, and powerful, my friend, remember that. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif
I pray the year ahead of you gets better, call me anytime day or night, call collect if ya want, I'll be there bro. :HappyWave:
Stopped in to check out the thread and read it's updates. I find that all said here can be applied to my everyday life.
Jonthepain, congratulations on 5 years of sobriety. It must take a lot of strength on some days. 5 years is a true testament of who you have become and who you want to be. Hat's off to you on a job well done.:clapping::clapping::clapping:.