Thanks, dogfish.
Believe me, it's all Grace.
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Thanks, dogfish.
Believe me, it's all Grace.
Jon, keep up the good work, ODAT. :thumbsup:
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
We are what we are.
--Motto of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor
Sometimes we devote so much effort to being what we are not, that we lose the chance to be what we are. We have one identity for this person and another for that one. Our co-workers, neighbors, friends, and family all expect different things of us, leaving us wondering who we actually are. How can we be so many different things to so many people?
God wants us to be only who we are. We were created with unique characteristics for a purpose, even if that purpose isn't always clear to us. We need to be who we really are, and to be the best we can be, knowing that God approves because God created us as we are.
I will be the best me that I know how to be.
I've struggled with this in my life. Coming from a dysfunctional family, I see there are different expectations from different members. It's frustrating as hell sometimes. Like the reading says, just be the best that you can be. Don't worry about the other stuff.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Worry and Stress
"I'm learning it's what I do with my today that counts," said one group member. "I can make this a day to remember or a day to regret just by the kinds of thoughts I have about it.
"Let me explain what happened to make me realize this," he continued. "Two days ago, I woke up grumbling about my sorry lot in life. My divorce, my bills, and a recent argument with a close friend haunted me. Throughout the whole day I nursed my woes and convinced myself that this was just another rotten day. And do you know what? That's exactly what it turned out to be! Nothing went right. I even had a second argument with another friend who called to cheer me up.
"Yesterday, I overheard someone say that a person is made or unmade by what he thinks. I thought about this for a while and decided to try it out today. Instead of greeting the day with my usual, 'Good God, morning!' I consciously said, 'Good morning, God!' with the expectation that it would be a good day. And that's what it's been. I even called my two friends to apologize for my previous terrible mood, and I had a warm and friendly conversation with them both!"
TODAY I will lift up my thoughts. In expecting nothing but good to come to me, that is exactly what I will receive.
Amen. :thumbsup:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
--Swedish proverb
During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come into recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted.
But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, thank you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.
Action for the Day
Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted.
And as the old saying Goes, God helps those who help themselves. :thumbsup:
But sometimes we need to reach out ot others, and hope they hear what we are, or are not, saying.
Today is when, about 7 years ago, someone I knew took a shotgun and blew his head off. I always try to remember this date and reflect on how things might have turned out if only he reached out to people.
He was relatively successful, loved the outdoors, and had a decent business going. There were lots of people around him who cared. Yet, he had many demons inside and wouldn't open up about what was bothering him.
He was also a manic-depressive who hadn't come to terms with that illness.
So he decided the best course of action was to blow his brains out. He left behind a great deal of sadness and misery, and people who had to cope with him leaving forever.
Sad to hear of, sad to see.
I miss him. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon9.png
If you have such things going on inside your head, please think of those who you will leave behind. Please remember that it can get better, but only if you make the necessary steps to reach out and ask for help. Suicide ain't the answer.
This is the time of year that the highest % of people decide to kill themselves.
Thoughts and prayers.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Learning stamps you with its moments.
--Eudora Welty
We never stop learning. We absorb information every waking moment. And while we sleep, we process what we encounter during the day. The conclusions we reach about these daily lessons will likely be based on the perception that dominates our lives. Do we perceive our experiences as for our good or for our undoing?
Since learning is ongoing, we are fortunate to have a more positive context within which to interpret our experiences. Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as other Twelve Step programs, offers us a set of guidelines to live by, which helps us interpret every moment.
We can anticipate what lies ahead, or we can dread it. What we learn from each experience reflects our attitude. Our commitment to the Twelve Steps determines it.
I will soak up the day like a sponge. My education is within my control. How lucky I am to have this program!
thanks, Rich, I needed that.
Also, please pray for my buddy John Murdaugh. He had a heart attack Friday. He died and it took them 15 minutes to revive him, but revive him they did.
He's got 4 stints and a balloon; they are taking the balloon out today.
He looks like hell.
Thanks,
Jon
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
--Bill Cosby
"Oh, how I wish my dad would get sober." "Oh, how I want my friend to get help with her eating problem." "Oh, how I wish I could make my mom understand."
When we become obsessed with how we want others to change, we put our own happiness on hold. As we wait, hoping and scheming about how to get others to see their many problems, we are neglecting ourselves. It's almost as if we think it's not fair for us to be happy when others are miserable. But when we detach with love, we still care, we still pray and wish for the best, but we know that other people's problems belong to them, not to us.
Today let me accept the fact that if I detach with love, no one will die from it. I'll just be more healthy and happy.
The only lives we have the power to change, are our own. :learn:
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Jon, Sorry to hear about your friend John Murdaugh. Dying and coming back to life isn't a chance that many of us get. Hats off to the medical professionals who worked on him for that 15 minutes. 15 minutes can be an eternity when someone codes. I had thought protocol is to give up sooner than that. Very lucky for him and his family.
If one is skeptical of God and miracles, I think this example would be something to give evidence of intervention by a higher power. He would be dead, if it were not for the grace of God. I truly believe that. I'll pray for him, and hope he's on the road to recovery.
Thanks Rich
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them.
--Tennessee Williams
Everyone has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.
Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don't always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones.
Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life.
Amen.
Yer welcome, Jon.
Thanks for the phone message, D, you nut.
Just what I needed considering the wife hasn't talked to me in a week.
(ya I know it was a blessing for the first few days but it's getting annoying being treated like i'm not even here. :huh: And no I have absolutely no clue why.)
I might ask her sometime before Sunday (our 29th anniversary.)
Women are weird. :kooky:
(No offense Pebbles :o )
All the years I've been on this earth, and I'm still learning this. :o
One thing that's become very clear to me....
when you ask your lady what's wrong, and she says "Nothing!" and still has a sour look on her face, you're definitely in trouble.
One of the things I've learned is they want us to figure out why they're mad at us. That may seem unreasonable, after all we're not Kreskin. But if you think about it, it's usually related to something we did, or didn't do. We're supposed to know what disappoints them by a certain time in the relationship.
And bro, if ya don't know your wife after 29 years, you're definitely doomed! :laugh:
Seriously, though, I would review the basic list of things that **** them off...farting in the bed, leaving the toilet seat up, failure to do things you were supposed to do around the house. Ask yourself if ya goofed in an obvious area, and ya might see the light. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.png
If it's something else, maybe ya gotta dig deeper. :scared:
The one saving grace that works for me sometimes is humor. If you can get her to laugh, she might start talking to ya. Or maybe ask her advice on something you already know the answer to, a neutral subject, just to get her to talk.
You're pretty witty, I think you'll be able to get to the bottom of it. Good luck.
And if ya make it to Sunday, Happy Anniversary! 29 years is an achievement. Ya must have done some things right for her to still be with you after all this time. :thumbsup:
word upi'm doomedQuote:
And bro, if ya don't know your wife after 29 years, you're definitely doomed! :laugh:
yeah well you're half rightQuote:
You're pretty witty...
thanks! yeah 29 years is a looooong time :DQuote:
Happy Anniversary! 29 years is an achievement.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Will Power - Our willingness to be used by a Higher Power.
--Alcoholics Anonymous
How many times have you wanted something very badly, only to realize at a later date that having it would have been a major disaster? Often we pursue a certain want or desire when the Universe has something entirely different planned - something, which is for our higher good.
For years, Ann wanted to run her own daycare center. An opportunity arose for her to buy a local business, but the deal fell through at the last minute. Bitterly disappointed, she could not understand why her heart's desire was denied her. Then one day, she and her husband found out about a business that was for sale in a city where they had always wanted to live. Within weeks, they bought the business and moved to their new location. Ann gave thanks that the first opportunity did not work out.
From our earthly vantage point, we can't always see the big picture. We are like mice running in an open field, sensing what is in front of our noses. Only from the perspective of the eagle can the entire landscape be viewed.
Fortunately, there is a part of yourself that can see like the eagle. You can turn over your life and your plans to that higher vision, and then say with assurance, "It's all God's work. It's all in God's hands. And I am at peace with this."
Like Jon often says, "It's all grace". :learn:
Re:Anniversary
Jon, ya can't be serious! :scared:
Surely you can't be both a half-wit, and doomed. :rolleyes:
I have every confidence that in the next 24 hours you'll figure out why she's mad.
Best wishes.
Note to self: Call hairdresser and ask her to call me and let me know when the wife's been there for a cut and dye. :o
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Every Christmas I hope for the best but expect the worst.
--Adult child group member
As bells ring out and carols echo everywhere, we should not be surprised if our spirits take a nosedive. It isn't that we don't understand the meaning of Christmas, or that we reject it, but rather that the idealized version of what Christmas should be has often times been denied us. We may come to resent the fact that all this good cheer seems to be for other people, not us.
Our experiences may have had little to do with family togetherness around a glowing fireplace, loving conversation, and delighted laughter. Such scenes feel like an affront if there has been no family closeness, perhaps no gifts, and little or no overt love. Of course it's wrenching when our own experience clashes so painfully with advertised reality!
But every day is a chance for new experience. We can choose today to create the good cheer that wasn't created for us. It's too late to change yesterday's disappointment, but, if we choose, we can make this holiday season the one we'll remember.
I have made a conscious decision to leave past Christmases in the past. Today, I will begin to plan a celebration.
Growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional household, you soon learn that holidays are not what you usually see on TV. There are fights, disappointments, bad feelings, all sorts of things like that. You begin to accept that the holiday blowups are normal, this becomes an accepted part of life.
As we move forward in recovery, we need to get beyond that to a new reality. Make your own experiences...don't be chained down by ones in your past. :learn:
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The feeling of belonging is a gift.
The feeling of belonging - knowing that we have a place - is one of the most important gifts that two partners can give to each other. When we agree to commit ourselves to a partnership, we give each other the key to our daily lives. We allow our mate to be there with us in a way we would not let others. That means that we can expect to have a place that does not have to be renegotiated every day. This feeling of belonging is a gift, but it must be received. In essence, we say to our partner, "I take my place here in your life because we have our relationship. I will relax. I don't stand at the door and knock. We have already told each other that we are included in each other's lives."
This sense of belonging stands in sharp contrast to those feelings of isolation and alienation that we can feel in so many ways. It does not mean that one partner owns the other or that no boundary or separateness exists. But the joy of connection frees people in relationships to fulfill themselves and carry on their lives while in the close comfort of one they love.
Tell your partner how you know you have a place in her or his life.
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Jon, I can't believe ya didn't notice she colored her hair! :scared: :beatin:
Don't feel bad, I've been there too. :o
Happy 29th anniversary to you both!
rofl thanks
i never notice **** like that
see ya
jc
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
--Catherine Ponder
Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, another friend, even the TV.
Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.
Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm.
--Hannah Senesh
Life offers little if we sit passively in the midst of activity. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. For our lives' purposes we need enthusiasm; we need enthusiasm in order to greet the day expectantly. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action.
We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program - its possibilities and our purpose - and it's that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by.
The program has offered us something to believe in. We are no longer the people we were. So much more have we become! Each day's worth of recovery carries us closer to fulfilling our purpose in life.
I believe in recovery, my own; when I believe in success, I'll find it. There is magic in believing.
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Jon, very happy to hear that, You're not in the doghouse anymore! I hear the temps are frigid in NC. But apparently not in your house that night at 2am. :wheeeee:
I guess forgetting to notice her hair cut and hair dye was forgiven.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Goodwill
Have you ever envied someone else's good fortune? Consider the friend who calls with a different ring to her voice. Instead of sharing her troubles and woes, she proceeds to tell you good news. Something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life. It's not a fantasy. It's one of those rare moments when a dream has come true.
That's wonderful, you may say, meaning every word. At first. Why her? You may later think. What about me? When am I going to get a break? As hard as we may try not to feel that way, a little jealousy, envy, and self-pity replace the joy we felt for our friend.
Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.
Sometimes we know when we're envying and resenting others. Other times it's a subtle undercurrent that we're not aware of, but it invades our lives. It may only be a slight feeling of smugness when we hear that something unfortunate has happened to someone we perceive as being more fortunate than we are.
Goodwill isn't just the name of a secondhand store or a phrase used in songs during the holiday season. It's a particularly challenging value to practice.
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Funny stuff, Steve! :clapping:
Vacuum cleaner for Anniversary present, sure way to land in the doghouse..."but it was a top of the line double bagger!" :laugh:
You've all heard me talk about a friend on here.
He had about 12 years of sobriety. He was an active member in the AA and NA community.
At some point he started talking to me about making wine. He justified his thought process, saying he had been sober for 12 years and a little wine never hurt anyone. :plastered: I told him where he would end up. Some of our mutual friends disagreed with me, and thought it would come to no harm. :kooky: I drifted away from talking to him because I didn't want any part of it.
Well, he made the wine and started drinking again. That led to him doing crack and brought him to a bottom where he ended up in jail.
Before he got put in jail, he went with a friend to score some crack. The guy tried to rip them off, so they bashed the dealer with a baseball bat. The only problem,,,the dealer was twice their size (my friend is a big guy to begin with, but the dealer was about 6'3" and 290 lbs :scared:) The guy laughed when they hit him with the bat. He took it away and proceeded to bash my friend's arm to pieces.)
Ya know what they say, never bring a knife to a gunfight.
And never trust your judgement when you're on drugs. :learn:
So my friend ended up with a broken arm that he walked around with for about a month. He didn't get it taken care of till he got arrested around a month later. His arm was infected, he was in jail. He was begging me to bail him out. I could have, but I told him the only way he was going to get bail is if he agreed to rehab. I couldn't watch him killing himself anymore. He had deteriorated to a shadow of who he once was. He looked like the walking dead.
He refused the offer of rehab, so I let him sit in jail. No one else would bail him out either. Finally he decided he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. He agreed to go to rehab. :thumbsup:
First he had to get his arm operated on. They had to re-break his arm, and re-set it with a plate and pins.
Attachment 12886
For 2 years since early 2008, he had the above plate and pins in his arm, holding it together. He had them taken out last week because he had recurring bone infections somehow, and medically it was determined he would be safer with them out.
He sent me the above cell phone pic. I'm posting it to remind people that no matter how bad you think your life is, it could always be worse.
It's good therapy for me to keep my memory green as well. He is a lifelong friend, and we were involved in many unsavory ventures together.
I finally got my good friend back. What I missed the most were the intense conversations we used to have. He got off the track with alcohol and drugs and almost died.
However, he's a smart business owner, and always had some good insight into human behavior when we talked. I have benefitted from his advice. Some of the things I missed most were the times he used to call and cheer me up when I was in one of my down cycles. All my life I've struggled with depression, and my choice is to isolate when I'm feeling down. He used to know just what to say to get me to laugh. He's a "salt of the earth" kind of guy, and almost everyone who meets him likes him. The life of the party. When we were growing up together he was always the one pushing the limits.
In the past, as he got sober, he was the one who pushed the AA program work, step work, etc. If I wasn't working my program, he would call me out on it. Acquaintances come and go in life, but true friends are not afraid to cut through the BS and speak the truth to each other. He also got more active in the program, chairing a meeting and becoming involved in the community.
Additionally, in his active addiction, he also had a girlfriend who was deep in the addiction cycle. She had tried to get sober a few times, and some were saying there was no hope for her. They both went away to different rehabs, and I'm proud to report that to this day she has remained clean and sober, I think for 2 years as well.
So I'm grateful to have them both back. :HappyWave: He tells me he's grateful too.We joke about me leaving him in jail, but I wasn't willing to watch him die the slow death in the path he was on.
One day I'll send him this thread and this post. I'm just glad he made it, one day at a time.
I'm very proud of the 2 years of sobriety he has now. :clapping::clapping: :thumbsup::thumbsup:
Remember, in your recovery, never let yourself get to a space where you say "I'm cured, I can do anything I want" http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.png
Routine can = Rut
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Today's Gift - 12/26/2010
A holiday is a permitted – or rather a prescribed – excess, a solemn violation of a prohibition.
--Sigmund Freud
Breaking our own small rules is a luxury that we sometimes forget to indulge. How pleasant it can be to stay in bed late on a Sunday, not get dressed or shaved, to let clutter accumulate. On our days off, we can get a thrill from such "solemn violations" as going to a film in the afternoon, eating an unscheduled treat, jogging twice around the track.
It's probably important to give ourselves these little extravagances, especially if our usual lives involve a highly organized routine. Just breaking up the day differently – reversing daytime and nighttime activities, for example – can give a special flavor to a day off.
Routine is consoling for many of us. We feel good about ourselves as long as we keep to the schedule, obey the rules. But we need to break some rules to get a different kind of good feeling about ourselves; above all, to know that we can choose to return to our former law-abiding selves. Sometimes we fear that if we step out of line once, we'll never get our lives together again. We need to know that we can renew ourselves on a holiday.
Giving myself a holiday by breaking my routine can make it stronger – because I choose to resume it.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Words that do not match deeds are not important.
--Che Guevara
We say we want to get out of debt. We say we need more money. We say we need a higher-paying job. We say we're going to stop gambling. We say we're going to take better care of our health. We say we're going to pay someone back. We say we're going to start a spending plan. We say we're going to start recording our expenses. All of this and more we say we'll do someday.
With the new year approaching, we commit to doing the positive things we say we're going to do, regardless of how tiresome, boring, or painful they may be. When we really don't want to go ahead with it – whatever it may be – we remind ourselves of the commitment we made. We write it down. We fulfill our commitment. In doing so, we affirm that we really can have or do what we say. We feel better about ourselves, and others find us trustworthy and honorable. We create integrity.
One of the biggest obstacles to us improving our lives is inertia. When we make a committment to move forward in a postive way, we are overcoming our inertia and laying the foundation for a better life. :learn:
We all talk about resolutions for 2011. Instead of making ones that are unrealistic,, why not try for some simple ones that help us move away from the inertia? :thumbsup:
Then, if we achieve those, every 3 months or so, re-assess and see if you can slowly fit more goals. It's a lot less pressure that way and you have a better chance of achieving what you set out to do.
That story about your friend, Dark Skies, brought back some vivid memories. I realize today, that using is using, and even something that is detrimental can be something like making wine, or scratch off lottery tickets, or porn. I know today that the evil one uses these temptations to distract, by seduction. Just as drinking was.
Once again my friend, thank you for sharing that. God bless you!
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
I've shut the door on yesterday,
And thrown the key away.
Tomorrow holds no fears for me,
Since I have found today.
-- Vivian Yeiser Laramore
Feeling guilty or ashamed about the past - about what we did or did not do, about what happened to us, about who we were - can be our undoing. We must work long and hard in our recovery to work through these feelings, not to forget the past - for it informs all that we value in ourselves today - but to put the past into perspective.
After we've taken an inventory and grieved our losses we must forgive ourselves. In forgiving ourselves we can let go of the past and live in today.
With our program of recovery, looking back is not as frightening as it once was. And today we do not have to bear what we find alone.
A new year, a new life, can be ours. Love and friendship, support and spiritual growth are waiting for us today. Our yesterdays are over, and we can look to the future with joy and anticipation.
Today help me forgive myself for what's past and learn to have faith in Your plan for me.
Amen!
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Hey JimmyZ, I'm just trying to keep the memory green. :) And you're right, there are all sorts of addictions that can take us away from a life committed to sobriety and family. :learn:
Good to hear from ya! Best wishes for a Healthy and Sober New Year to us all. :thumbsup: :HappyWave:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Past New Year's Eves may have meant times of excessive chemical use. We may have embarrassed ourselves in many ways. We may have chosen New Year's Eve as a time to analyze our past behaviors and write long lists of how that was going to change.
Yet tonight is like any other night. We don't have to feel as though we aren't having a good time unless we're at a party or a bar. We can celebrate the new year tomorrow with those closest to us by doing something we enjoy. The past is gone - the future has not arrived. The present is all we have, here and now.
Look to ourselves and what we want to do, not at what we think we should be doing. We can share our feelings at a meeting; spend quality time with our families and loved ones. We need to focus on ourselves and what we need to do for us, and not be diverted by the craziness around us.
Tonight is an ending; tonight is a beginning. Help me stay in the moment to bid farewell to the old and welcome in the new in my own way.
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Be careful out there tonight folks. If you're driving remember that statistically more accidents happen around these holiday times. You can't always anticipate if someone else is drunk or not. Be safe, and God bless everyone. The year 2011 is a chance for all of us to change some things in our lives. Major changes don't happen overnight, but a carefully thought out plan of action will move you forward.
Best wishes to all of you that we may have less ups and downs and better health for 2011!
And catch a few fish along the way, along with sharing those times with friends and family. :cool: :plastered::fishing: :thumbsup: :HappyWave:
I usually don't go out on amateur night, but I gotta ferry some kids around. I'll keep my eye out (two eyes).
Funny, I never went out on NYE when I was a drunk. No sense getting caught with a bunch of amateurs, I guess.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Living today
The beginning of the New Year will often bring back sad memories. This has been the big day for hangovers, coming down, remorse, guilt, and shame. But if we stay with our new purpose - staying clean and staying close to our Higher Power - we don't have to fear the New Year. God has forgiven our past mistakes and tomorrow is not yet here. If we do what we know is right today, all else will be taken care of.
It's not always easy to do what is necessary today, but it's impossible to change yesterday or to guarantee what tomorrow will bring. Our year will unfold better by living each day as it comes instead of regretting the past or anticipating the future.
Am I learning to live one day at a time?
I pray for the willingness to deal with today, instead of being obsessed with the past or the future.
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That's an interesting concept, Jon, NYE as amateur night. :)
Cause it takes "professionalism" to learn how to drink, and get it right (or wrong). :rolleyes:
I guess that thought may have entered into my head a few times as well.
Sobriety is good, or at least better than asking someone for a play-by play of what you did last night.
Happy New Year to all. :HappyWave:
yah ok
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
--Spanish proverb
The beauty of the Third Step is that there's no real work for us to do. Making a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God requires no energy, no movement. We don't have to grit our teeth. It's only a decision and can be made in the blink of an eye. The action comes from God.
We don't need to do anything to earn the grace of God. In fact, there isn't any way we could earn it. This grace is ours when we let it come to us. Trusting God's love for us is all it takes.
I will rest knowing that my life is in God's hands.
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"Expect the unexpected" - I think you deal with the unexpected every time you go crow hunting. :)
yeah, but then I'm expecting it. :kooky:
:huh:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful.
--Mother Teresa
It is probable we have never equated success with faith. Being successful meant accomplishing worthy goals and receiving the expected praise. We may have even considered that relying on faith to help us was a cop out. Fortunately, so much about how we interpret life has changed since joining this journey through recovery.
In Step Three we learn that God wants us to have faith. We are coming to see, in fact, that acting as if we have faith begins to feel like faith. Coming to believe that God's only expectation is that we turn within for guidance makes every circumstance far less threatening.
Practicing faith promises that we will begin to feel successful in all our experiences because we are walking through them peacefully, trusting fully that God is at hand. Believing in God, being truly faithful, can be the greatest success of our lives.
I can be faith-filled today if I turn my life and my will over to the care of God. I will remind myself of this every time I get in the "driver's seat."
This is a good one for me. Sometimes I have little faith in anything but myself. That doesn't work long-term. When it wavers, what do you have left, disappointment and doubt. Faith in a higher power helps us get through some of the rough patches on the road of life.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Next year I'm going to be better than I am now, but today I'm the best I can be.
It is quite possible to waste a lot of time and energy trying to make impossible changes. Many of us, inspired by the dynamics of the program and driven more by enthusiasm than prudence, strike out on missions that cannot be accomplished - missions we cannot win and should never undertake.
Turning back the clock is one of these. It can't be done. Controlling someone else's behavior is another. We can set the stage for the desired behavior, encourage it, and improve the odds by getting out of the way, but we don't have it in our bag of tricks to make people think, feel, or do any one thing.
The program addresses the art of the possible. The only options we have are the options that are available to us. If our former partners don't want to reconcile with us, that's not an available option. A happily-ever-after marriage is not possible if we haven't yet learned how to have a healthy relationship. Instead, we can focus on acquiring these people skills by building to our own possibilities.
Today, I will examine my range of available choices.
We all have choices in life, if a door is closed, look for a window of opportunity somewhere else.
i fear...
dutch ovens
^^ You got issues, bro! :kooky: :HappyWave:
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
I believe there has been a grand plan for my life; so much has happened that I hadn't counted on.
--Louise Jerome
What Louise believes might offer great comfort, particularly to a mind that is fraught with fear and uncertainty. But it's not all that important whether or not we believe that God has planned every detail of our lives. In fact, if we have had more than our share of turmoil, we might feel that God has been punishing us. Just coming to believe that we haven't walked through any experience alone is where the comfort lies. This may not be an idea we were taught as youngsters. We may not be convinced of it now. But deciding to suspend our disbelief, for a time, in order to discover the peace within this idea is worth it.
Recalling our past, any portion of it, will no doubt bring to mind outcomes to situations that took us by surprise. We so often thought we knew what was best for us and others. What folly! What relief, too. Trying to play god in others' lives is a heavy burden. We may still be caught in this maze, but getting free of it is possible. It may mean we have to change our perspective on the way life really works, the role God plays in our lives, but we can open our minds to new ideas. We're older, for sure - but minds can change at any age. Let's settle for an idea that eases our journey.
Today can be as restful as I make it. What comes to me is right for me.
Amen!
Dogfish, I think there's a special brand of insanity that exists only in your head. :kooky:
That being said, I watched those videos, thanks for the laughs. :laugh:
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
There is no right way to pray.
Prayer is not a requirement of Twelve Step programs like Al-Anon. In fact, the program has no requirements. It has only suggestions that if followed will change how we see our experiences. This, in turn, mysteriously changes our very experiences. One suggestion is that we seek, through prayer and meditation, to know God and God's will for us.
The idea of prayer scares some of us initially. It seems religious. However, we learn from other people, if we're open to their words, that the program is not religious but spiritual. This means that we can expect help from a Power who wants to safeguard our lives. All we have to do is let that Power in, using any method that feels comfortable. Kneeling to pray isn't for everyone. Having friendly casual "chats" appeals to some. Others seek knowledge of God in a bird's song or a flower's blossom. Whatever is comfortable is not only adequate but appropriate.
Praying in our own special way becomes a wonderful habit. It protects us all day long, giving us strength every time we need it.
I will relish my moments with God today. They will help me in every circumstance. I'm never alone as long as I remember God.
Amen.