Thanks for sharing that perspective, Hookedonbass. :thumbsup:
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I was talking to my brother in law about this the other day. How amazing we all feel when we GET AWAY from life itself. It's almost as if life is a chore and getting away from it is what we all need to do from time to time. Whatever it is we like to do we should go do it. Have to have some fun every now and again. Like Curly from city slickers said something about getting the knots out of your rope.
yeah i hear that. i hate having people help me. drives me nuts.
i mean, i appreciate the thought and everything, but i guess cuz i've been on my own and broke and struggling for the last 35 years, it's kind of ingrained in me to do it myself.
seems like i learn something new here every day.
got a call from mom friday afternoon. she told me that my stepfather (a very fragile 89 yr old WWII B-17 vet,) fell headfirst down 4 stairs and landed on his head on a concrete landing. out cold, is in surgery, for a subdural hematoma. they do not expect him to make it. could i leave for the hosp right away? of course; around a 2 hr drive.
she's a tough little (barely 5 ft tall) old (90) lady, but she said she was never so happy to see somebody in her life as when i walked into the hospital.
they were able to remove the blood clot, but there's still some pressure...he regained consciousness last night, and they took a CAT scan this am. waiting to hear the results.
if you could, say a prayer for my mom (Betsy) and stepdad (Bob.)
thanks,
jonthepain
Hope that he makes a quick recovery Jon. My wife always says that when things aren't going to well that we have no luck. I always say to her that at least we don't have the need for handicapped railings and ramps for our children. I do consider myself lucky that my kids aren't going through some trying times like a disease or being born with only one leg. Very lucky I am.
my oldest daughter was born with Edwards Syndrome, it's like Down's Syndrome but infinitely worse. She didn't live very long.
Got the word last night that Bob has extensive brain damage and recovery, if you can call it that, and if he makes it, will be an extremely long process.
It's just life. Luckily I know where I'm going when it's over. :thumbsup:
Thanks for the call last night Rich, I appreciate it. I was in bed at the time tho. I'll give you a ring around lunch time.
Thanks for all your prayers.
jonthepain
Jon, some of the guys I know in AA who have the inner faith you do amaze me. You, JimmyZ, and others have a sense of security and belief in your hearts and minds that I've been struggling for years to find.
Yes I believe in God, but my belief falters at times. I'm much more cynical than you are. I admire and respect your sense of faith and what it does for you in this world.
I can't make things for Bob any better. The way you described that fall it's a miracle he wasn't killed instantly. I pray your faith will help you get through this difficult ordeal.
Pebbles and I are praying for his recovery. We pray and hope for the best for Betty and Bob during which I know must be a very difficult time for you and your family as well.
You're a good son, and I'm glad to hear you could be there for them. Call anytime, even if it's 3am and you want to talk, Jon.
Thanks Rich. Latest news is, he has extensive brain damage. He doesn't recognize Mom or his son Cliff, and can't move his left side. But they did take him off the ventilator, which is good.
Last night at the girls prison, it was amazing how grateful the girls were for what the Lord has done in their lives. Lots of tears, which is extremely unusual for them. These girls are 15, and a couple of them have 2 yr old kids.
Lord, thank you that I'm not in prison, or didn't just wake up strapped to a hospital bed, not knowing where I am or who anybody is.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
The first skill needed for the Inner Game is called "letting it happen." This means gradually building a trust in the innate ability of your body to learn and to perform.
--W. Timothy Gallwey
A strange and intriguing mystery confronts us in the Twelve Steps. We are mending our ways; we are becoming accountable; we are striving to do what is right, yet we are learning to let go. This seems like a contradiction of logic, but it leads us to a spiritual awakening.
We are becoming like the accomplished tennis player who has practiced diligently to develop every detail of his skill. Yet when he is playing the game, he cannot focus on control. He must get his ego out of the way and let himself go. It is in letting go that he rises to his highest level of fulfillment. Today we will do what we must. We can make the choices we are faced with. Then we allow ourselves to be carried along by our Higher Power to complete and fulfill the process.
I will look for opportunities to let it happen today.
todaysgift@hazelden.info
Jon it was good talkin to ya yesterday, hope I didn't interfere with you getting your work done. Pebbles and I are still praying for you and your Mom.
Thanks for calling, Rich. Yeah I was getting a little anxious about getting that job done on time.
I'll let ya know how Bob is doing when there's any news.
see ya
jc
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson
We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good--words and thoughts do not matter.
Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us. The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace. Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises. Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song. Hope is not a melody we think about--it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world. If we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we will be able to find the melody of hope inside us at all times.
todaysgift@hazelden.info
Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling
Back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,
"Can I help you Sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging OUT of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....
"Holy ****! My girlfriend's gone, too!!
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
-- Flora Whittemore
We often hear the phrase, "When one door shuts, another opens." It means everything has a beginning and an end. When our travels on one path are completed, another path lies ahead.
It's not easy to feel a door close. Relationships, friendships, careers, and lives end. Although we may not understand why a door closes, it's important to remember our Higher Power has everything to do with it. By the same token, we may not understand why certain doors open, revealing opportunities we may have longed for. Again, our Higher Power feels we are ready to pursue that new experience.
The doors that open and close today help prepare us for our experiences tonight. The doors that open and close tonight will help us grow toward tomorrow. We are not mice in a maze, randomly pursuing paths for a reward of cheese. We are children of our Higher Power, guided towards our chosen goal through the many doors we open and close along the way.
Have I learned there is a reason for everything in my life? Can I trust that my path has been prepared for me by my Higher Power?
todaysgift@hazelden.info
Times are tight, people are experienceing lots of stress. Hang in there people, it will get better, one day at a time. :thumbsup:
Great joke. Keep your head up guys. That's all I do. Keep my head up as high as I can every single day.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it.
--Mildred Newman Each one of us is very good at something. Maybe it's baseball or tennis where we display talent. Maybe we're good in math or at giving reports. A few people are talented at being good listeners or helpful friends. To recognize our own talents we may need help from others. It's always so much easier to see our faults, or the ways we don't meet our own expectations.
But the fact is, we are all skilled in many areas of our lives. To accept praise -- better yet, to quietly give it to ourselves -- is a sign of healthy growth.
todaysgift@hazelden.info
Life sucks, the economy is in the toilet, these are truly bad times we're living in. When you think it's not worth going on anymore, read this.
(Sent in by Finchaser, thanks!)
A Blind Girl
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'
One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.
He asked
her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.
Her
boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good careof your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'
This is
how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a
Gift
Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.
Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.
Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.
Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.
And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.
And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.
Slipping
A common rationalization about not making the program goes like this: "Harry over there slipped ten times before he made it. So what if I slip a few times?"
What is overlooked is that the last time Jack slipped, he slipped into a coffin; the last time Bob slipped, his baby son burned to death in a crib because of Bob's negligence, the last time Ann slipped, she got strychnine poisoning and became blind; and the last time Jim slipped, he tried to kill his wife and nearly did.
We're not playing games here. This is a matter of life and death.
Have I stopped slipping?
Higher Power, let me know that it is not only my life but the lives of others that I endanger by playing loaded games.
todaysgift@hazelden.info
It's hard to underrstand the concept of slipping unless you're a recovering alcoholic or addict. There are many people who have said to me...Hey Rich, you've been sober over 20 years, you're cured, you don't have to worry about that anymore, or going to meetings, etc.
I understand where they're coming from when they say that. They might not know what it's like. I no longer have the compulsions to drink or get high. I don't dream or think about that stuff much because I know it won't put me on the path where I need to be.
But it is so easy to slip. And most people won't even know they're in danger.
I'll talk about a few personal experiences, maybe to help people understand it better...
1. Sticking your nose in the pot bag:
In the early years of my sobriety I still hung around with a lot of people who got high or drank heavily.
One of my best fishin buddies was Eddie. He was a union carpenter, very responsible on the job, good skill set and a reliable employee for those he worked for.
Yet on his days off he smoked pot like a chimney. Since we were such good fishin buddies, I wasn't willing to cut all the people who drank or got high out of my life.
We would go fishin at least once a month. We had some reservoirs in North Jersey we used to sneak in as well. We had some great times fishin together.
Eddie liked his pot. At 4:30 am in the morning we would set out on the water for some great LMB fishin. :fishing: He'd spark a joint, get high as a kite, and still outfish me.
At noon, another joint, at 4pm when we were leaving for the day, another one. He lived a perfectly normal, functional life despite being a heavy pot smoker. :bong2:
He wasn't the one with the problem... I was.
Why was that?
Because every time I was around someone who had pot, even though I wasn't smoking it, I insisted on sticking my nose in the bag. I involved myself in the aroma of the pot because it brought back memories.:drool: I was so arrogant in my belief that it wouldn't hurt me. There was also some ego involved. Because I was so deep into the subculture in my active addiction, I bought and smoked pot from all over. I prided myself on being able to tell just by looking at the buds, and with a few sniffs, where that pot came from.
After awhile, I had to look at that behavior. I had to realize that by sticking my nose in the bag, and rolling the buds in my fingers, I was, in effect, "slipping".
Did I get high over it, No.
Was it a risky position for me to put myself in?
Absolutely. :beatin:
I think as we move along in our sobriety, we hopefully realize that putting ourselves in risky positions is not the pattern of new growth and recovery we want in our lives. :learn:
2. Slipping after convincing ourselves that we're "cured":
I've told this story here before, maybe it's time to tell it again. There were a bunch of guys I went to HS with who had alcohol and drug problems. When I first started going to meetings, I ran into Frankie at one meeting, and his friend Joe. :HappyWave:
I was amazed to see them there. I remember saying, "Wow you guys were pretty hardcore partiers, I never thought I would see you end up in these rooms of Recovery."
Their response to me was: "Man we thought YOU were WORSE! :eek:
We thought you would have been dead by now, glad to see you stopping by."
That was one of the moments in life when you're forced to look at yourself and your behavior. I really didn't think I was that bad. There were guys I knew who were in way over their heads, surely that wasnt me? :huh:
I had to realize through the feedback of others that I was just as hopeless as the bowery bum living on the street when I came in. I gradually came to realize I needed new role models to look up to, and wanted to be on the path to recovery. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So Frankie and Joe become some of the role models I looked up to. :thumbsup: They were the cool guys in the program. With the $$ they were saving from not drinking or doing drugs, they had "juice" in the world.
Before, they had been derelicts, like me. Now, they had friends in the program, they had money to go places and meet people, they were scoring chicks left and right (ALWAYS an important thing when you're 20 ;)), and they had a lot of people looking up to them.
So I looked up to them. I wanted the sobriety they had, and I worked hard at it learning to work my program.
Then, a few years later, I lost touch with them for awhile.
I picked Frankie up hitch-hiking one day. It was apparent to me he was getting high again. I gave him my number and told to call me, we would hit a meeting.
Unfortunately, that call never came. Frankie died about 6 months later. An AA mentor of mine tried to get him into a rehab because Frankie had hit bottom. Unfortunately, Frankie smuggled drugs into the bathroom as he was being admitted into rehab. He OD'd in the bathroom. He couldn't be revived, and died before he got his 2nd chance at recovery. :(
Joe is still around and a lifelong friend. :HappyWave:
Frankie had been dead for years now.
5years of sobriety, respected in the community, a truly great guy, and he took his last breath at 25 years old, all because of a refusal to accept that a slip is a slip.
I tell these stories not to dramatize what I did or where I came from. A good friend of mine here keeps me in check when I do that, :HappyWave: For his words I'm grateful. There is no glamor in alcohol or drug lifestyles. There are some great times, yes. But looking at it objectively, it's not a path of progress in one's life if it's accompanied by abuse.
For those of us who have the tendency to abuse too much of a good thing. don't kid yourself and think you have guaranteed recovery from a slip. :don't know why: You may get lucky, maybe not. If you feel your behavior or attitude is slipping, the time to act on it is right then, not after you crashed and burned.
Pick up the phone, call your sponsor, get to a meeting.
I'm fortunate enough today to let the mistakes of others help keep my memory green. I don't want to make those mistakes. I hope these stories can possibly help someone else out there who is on the fence and has doubts about who they are. If you see yourself in any of the above paragraphs, get to a meeting. Or PM or e-mail me, I'm available 24/7 for people in serious trouble. :thumbsup:
yup