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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Thought for the day......
"With words we can create a picture that often leads us to understanding."
The thing that speaks to me, in the above sentence, is that it is all about communication.
We are in a stage in our societal development where everyone is busy in their own lives...Many of us have more pressure than ever before...the economy is limping along, some folks are out of work, or working less, some have suffered great losses with recent bad weather all across the US..those that are gainfully employed are feeling more stress, as organizations expect more, from less workers....
I feel there is also a disconnect in our society, because of all the electronic devices we are tied into....computers, cell phones, etc, and that some people have lost the old-fashioned ideals of personal communication and contact.....People seem to be, generally speaking, more selfish than I remember than when I was growing up.....
To deal with this, if you are trying to get a message across, I feel your words must be compelling......
It is a challenge, but it is all about the words.....
Your words must be exciting, :bigeyes:
They must be interesting....
It is not enough to be informative....
Because informative sometimes = boring...
They must be entertaining,
Informative....
Show a clear and understandable point...
And be compelling in their content.......
One of the best ways to reach an audience we don't know, is with our choice of words......:learn:
When it relates to people we do know, the choice of words is even more important....
As those of us from dysfunctional backgrounds know all too well, at times poorly chosen words will shut all communication down....
Just my thoughts, thanks for reading......
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jonthepain
you're welcome.
went to the funeral of a good friend of mine last week. he sat next to me in Bible study, and in the one-step program the he went to every week, and I attended sporadically.
heckuva nice guy, just retired from the State Highway Patrol.
59 years old. too young.
Mike Williams. goodbye, my brother. Godspeed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkSkies
^^ I'm sorry Jon I just saw this....My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend.....
I'll call you this week...so sorry to hear that.....
RIP Mike Williams......:(
Just wanted to repeat my condolences here, Jon...will try to call ya today.
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Thought for the Day.....from ITR.
Honesty
http://media.intherooms.com/images/d...itation-77.jpg
"I seek to live an honest life on a daily basis.
An honest life is my goal. It is not always easy, usually because I'm afraid that if I'm honest then I will not be accepted."
There are varying degrees of honesty. I grew up with very honest parents. Unfortunately, total honesty, without diplomacy, can often seem like brutal criticism. My parents were basically caring people, but the practice of telling someone something, brutally honest, that they may not be ready to listen to... can at times be crushing. I have since learned that it's a good goal to be honest in dealings with friends and folks you know. However, there is a limit to the ways that honesty should be approached. When I have tried to be completely honest with folks I know, mimicing the learned behavior from my upbringing, it has sometimes backfired on me.
I think it's impossible for us to be honest all the time, and the only perfect person who ever walked this earth was Jesus. I also feel that sometimes we are asked a question, that honesty could hurt the other person's feelings......
When the women in our lives ask:
"Honey, does this dress make my butt look too big?"
We know we are dead men no matter how we answer....:ROFLMAO
"Honey, did you notice that beautiful woman who walked by?"
We know the best answer is "What beautiful woman?" :rolleyes:
Coming back to the point above, it has become easy for me to see that we live in a culture where complete honesty is not always pleasant, and therefore some folks don't choose to be that honest....for whatever reason. That's understandable to me.
As alcoholics and addicts we have to learn that conscious decisions to consistently be dishonest with our loved ones are decisions that will lead us down a path of self-destruction.
I prefer to have a high level of honesty in the people that I surround myself with.
But is honesty the best option at any price?...not always as I tried to outline above.....
Thanks for reading.....:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
This is for Jonthepain, and JimmyZ, and some of my other religious friends out there, whose Spirituality has always intrigued me, and is something I greatly admire.....:HappyWave:
Feel free to pass it on to your friends.....
A Minister passing through his church
In the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar
To see who come to pray.
Just then the back door opened,
And a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw the man
Hadn't shaved in a while.
His shirt was torn and shabby,
And his coat was worn andfrayed,
The man knelt down and bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.
In the days that followed at precisely noon,
The preacher saw this chap,
Each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.
Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
With robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop and ask the man,
'What are you doing here?'
The old man said he was a factory worker
And lunch was half an hour
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.
I stay only a moment
Because the factory's far away;As I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kindawhat I say:
'I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS BEN,
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'
The minister feeling foolish,
Told Ben that it was fine.
He told the man that he was welcome
To pray there anytime.
'It's time to go, and thanks,' Ben said
As he hurried to the door.
Then the minister knelt there at the altar,
Which he'd never done before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
As he met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed down his cheeks,
He repeated old Ben's prayer:
'I JUST CAME by TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME,
JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'
Past noon one day, the minister noticed
That old Ben hadn't come.
As more days passed and still no Ben,
He began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him,
Learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.
The week that Ben was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles and joy contagious.
Changed people were his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand
Why Ben could be so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.
The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends had come to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Ben spoke up
And with a winsome smile;
'The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
He's been here all the while.'
Everyday at noon He comes here,
A dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down and takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:
'I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU, BEN,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALWAYS
AND I LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
AND SO BEN, THIS IS JESUS,
JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'
If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people
will walk in and out of your life, but only
true friends will leave footprints in your
heart
May God hold you in the palm of His hand
And Angels watch over you..
Please pass this page on to your friends
& loved ones.
If you are not ashamed, pass this on.
So, FRIEND, this is ME ...
"Just Checking In Today"
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
last week i did some painting for a factory owner that i've done work for now and then for several years. he had some new walls built in one of the offices, to accommodate three people instead of the previous one.
i walked in and said, where's kevin? kevin is the owner's son, who i know from the one-step program i used to attend. it's his office that is being remodeled.
he said "kevin is back in rehab."
wow. kevin is the most upbeat, loving, hardworking guy i know. an elder in the church. ex-biker.
i told his dad that i will have 9 years sober this coming june 1.
he said "yeah kevin had 9 years clean."
There but for the grace of God go I.
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
9 years is a long time, no? Sorry to hear that jonthepain will say a prayer for him
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Forgot to post this on june 1...
jon the pain is:
Nine Years Sober
woot
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...ns/Tip-Hat.gif
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jonthepain
:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping: WOOT!!!!!!!!!:whoo: :bigeyes: :thumbsup:
Hey congrats Jon! Have enjoyed your stories and the things you and dark have shared on here over the years. You are both candid and brutally hones about your lives. I don't know if I could go to that level of detail without embarassment. Thanks for trying to help others and good for you!!!!!!:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Good deal john keep up the good work.:cool:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Grats on the 9 years, guy.
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jonthepain
Great job keep it up !!!!!!!
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
^ I'm usually good at remembering that Jon...sorry it snuck past me.....Congratulations on your Nine Years....One Day at a time......and as you say...it's All Grace......Proud of ya, Bro.....:clapping: :clapping: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Bump in case anyone has an interest in reading this thread...and what alcoholism and addiction has done to some of us...and a little about the recovery process....
If anyone has further questions...feel free to contact me in private for some confidential advice...If I can help, I will....:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. Although I have used drugs in the past I am no means an ex addict. I don not say that in a proud or boastful way but in a thankfulness way. It just never stuck with me. But the real reason I am posting is because like your first post where you say your (I am paraphrasing) life is an open book. I pretty much live my life the same way. I appreciate others that do also. Now sometimes that gets me into trouble, but I feel that if I am open others may be able to realize that they are not alone. We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!:learn:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
robmedina
Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. .......We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!:learn:
Rob, well-said.......we all struggle with something. No one is perfect other than the one who Created the Human Race....Our Father in Heaven.......
As for your 21 year old daughter,,,,although I don't have children of my own...I've seen a lot of ups and downs with kids over the years....21 is a very difficult age....thankfully past the late teen years, a little on the way to maturity...but not that far along...still lots of bumps in the road for her to handle......
IMO too many parents try to be friends to their children and are afraid to be strong, afraid of confrontation....and in the long run, IMO this does not benefit the child....too many mixed signals. Coupled with the apathy and permissiveness of society today, I sometimes feel kind of sad that the work ethic and measure of respect we had for older folks when I and you grew up seems to be somewhat lacking.....
I have confidence everything will turn out well between you two....Rob....you seem to be a good Dad who cares a lot about his children....give it time....and eventually she will come around...:thumbsup:...Good luck.....:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
I think daughters don't reach the age of real maturity till they are 24 or 25. Sons not until they are 30. rob you have a ways to go.:)
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkSkies
IMO too many parents try to be friends to their children and are afraid to be strong, afraid of confrontation....and in the long run, IMO this does not benefit the child....too many mixed signals. Coupled with the apathy and permissiveness of society today, I sometimes feel kind of sad that the work ethic and measure of respect we had for older folks when I and you grew up seems to be somewhat lacking
Thanks DS. You know one thing I have learned as a parent is that I don't know poop! All I hope for with my oldest is that she will mature and come to her senses enough that we can have a relationship. I am adjusting my approach with my 2 next daughters and try to always keep communication open with them. My Son is 9 and so far he is the bomb diggidy. He is such a good boy. I am proud of my children and am never to proud to say I am sorry. In the end you can only do what you can do and hope for the best. If my thoughts seems all over the place is because my 16 year old daughter is staring at me because she wants me to drive her to her friends house, lol!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogfish
I think daughters don't reach the age of real maturity till they are 24 or 25. Sons not until they are 30. rob you have a ways to go.
Thanks for ruining my night! :)
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
robmedina
If my thoughts seems all over the place is because my 16 year old daughter is staring at me because she wants me to drive her to her friends house, lol!
luckily it's the wife that ends up driving my 16 yr old daughter most times. but we usually end up driving 20 or 30 miles out of our way on date night in order to pick her up.
my three sons practically raised themselves (28, 24, and 20) but my little girl... that's another story lol
but in all fairness, she's much better now than she was a year ago :)
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Ok time for a girl's perspective.
1st and foremost, girls always think that Dad's do not have a clue about what they are feeling. Girls are all about feelings.
They worry about what boys think of her, what her friends think of her, is she dressed "hot enough", is her eye make-up on evenly, or if her hair is perfect! That does not even begin to touch on the very important body image. Am I too skinny, am I too fat, are my hips too big or my breasts too small!
Your body is changing, hormones are raging and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!!!
The materialistic side will say, "Oh my God I have nothing to wear." The shirt is too long, the shorts are too long, the dress is too long. Those earrings don't match that outfit. The heels are not high enough, or the wrong color. OR shoes are not "in" -- I must have a pair of UGG Boots, lined in fur to wear on a hot 90 degree day!
School is nothing but a social society, where they are judged for everything from what they wear, to how they walk, to what boys like them and what boys they like.
They worry about what if he doesn't hold my hand to -- should I kiss him. If they don't kiss him will he ask them out again. What if they kiss him and he wants more? What if they want to kiss him and he does not want to kiss them.
They have pressure of their friends asking how far they "Went" and the boys trying to get around the bases.
On top of all that they have to deal with us parents.
"What are you doing?
Who are you talking to?
Where are you going?
What time will you be home?
Is your homework done?
You have too much make-up on, that dress is too short, pull down your shirt, UGG boots in the summer? UGG!!!
Don't go kissing the boys, it can lead to bad things. Leave the bases on the baseball field, don't let the boys go running around them.
The bottom line here is that our kids are the most important gift of our lives. We do the best we can and that includes not being their friend, but being their parent. Being very careful to choose the right battles to fight. Letting them make their own mistakes knowing that you have done your best. If your kids don't talk back, help you when you need it, and love you despite of all the trials and tribulations, then you have won their respect and they have yours.
No one is perfect, but we all try.
Don't forget they all grow up and end up taking care of us. The way we treat our parents is an excellent example to our kids. As we want respect from our kids, we need to give respect to our parents. Don't yell at them, be kind. It is the circle of life.:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Pebbles
Ok time for a girls perspective.
1st and formost, girls always think that Dad's do not have a clue about what they are feeling. Girls are all about feelings.
Um if my Girls think that then they would be right!!! I have no clue what goes on in them heads!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Pebbles
The bottom line here is that our kids are the most important gift of our lives. We do the best we can and that includes not being their friend, but being their parent. Being very careful to choose the right battles to fight. Letting them make their own mistakes knowing that you have done your best. If your kids don't talk back, help you when you need it, and love you despite of all the trails and tribulations then you have won their respect and they have yours. No one is perfect, but we all try.
Well unfortunately I made more mistakes with my oldest daughter that I have gotten better at with my next ones- I love my kids to pieces. But with Love comes discipline (which is LOVE too!) and for that I make no apologies. I just don't understand why my oldest (21) feels so much resentments towards me. My 16 year old daughter hugged me yesterday out of the blue- that touched me and I told her so. Here is my perspective on raising kids- I feel I and my Wife are stewards. These humans were given to us for us to nourish and teach and prepare them for adulthood. That not only means education but also a sense of community. Respect for your fellow man. CONSIDERATION for your fellow man and an OBLIGATION to be a positive part of society. maybe I forget to be dad along the way......
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Pebbles
Don't forget they all grow up and end up taking care of us.
I pray that this is the case. I don't have parents and I don't want to loose my kids too. All I can say is it is damn hard! I heard it said "parenting is the easiest job in the world to get and the hardest to do!"
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
robmedina
i heard it said "parenting is the easiest job in the world to get and the hardest to do!"
amen!!!!
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Very well-said, Pebbles, thanks for the perspective.....:kiss:
You as well, Rob. :HappyWave:
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2 Attachment(s)
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
31 years of Sobriety for me today.........
It has been a lot of ups and downs......some of the downs have been very daunting.....deaths of those who I loved, severe illnesses and diseases that some fought, and lost the fight.....lots of sadness mixed in with the everyday pressures of life.....and the realization that we are Powerless, to do anything about most of these things, Powerless, except to work on our own lives.
Attachment 17247
However, along with sobriety comes opportunity,,,,
The opportunity to do better....
The opportunity to make new plans, when the ones you made, don't work out.....
The opportunity to try new things, and new paths....
The opportunity to meet new people, and make new friends...
The opportunity to make amends to those we have hurt....
The opportunity to help others that ask for help...
The opportunity to make the World a better place, for you having been in it....the opportunity to touch the Lives, Heart, and Soul, of others, as we make our way along the Paths we have chosen.....
No matter how bad things may seem, the opportunity to get up tomorrow, and start a Brand New Day.....
Much better than the opportunities that we had in the past....
Attachment 17248
**And most importantly, the opportunities to tell those who we Love, how important they are to us....
and to show them, by deeds and action...not just words.....:learn: :HappyWave:
Thanks, God, for the Opportunities...that I have been given...
And thank you for your Benevolence, and letting me wake up another Day....
One Day at a Time.....
Amen.....
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkSkies
**And most importantly, the opportunities to tell those who we Love, how important they are to us....
and to show them, by deeds and action...not just words.....:learn: :HappyWave:
Thanks, God, for the Opportunities...that I have been given...
And thank you for your Benevolence, and letting me wake up another Day....
One Day at a Time.....
Amen.....
:clapping:Congrats on the 31 years and well said dark. Thanks for all you do. You ever come up this way, let me know ahead of time.
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Good job ds. Keep up the good work.:HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
way to go dark!:clapping: :thumbsup:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Congratulations! Well done, my friend.
I think that the true test of character, is whether we continue to plug away despite the trials, and our attitude during the tough times.
It's like fishing. You throw your favorite plug, the bail closes unexpectedly, and your lucky plug hits some guy in the back of the head walking on a beach in France.
Do you say the hell with it, and go sit on a stool at the Chubby Pickle and pound 10 drafts?
Or do you just tie on another plug?
Thanks, Dark, for all the encouragement over the years. You are a true friend.
Yours,
Jon
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...nresized-1.jpg
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Congratulations, Love! You have had to face many obsticles, especially these last several months and you continue to forge ahead without the aid of drugs or alcohol. That is truly a testament of who you are and want to continue to be.
:heart:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jonthepain
Congratulations! Well done, my friend.
I think that the true test of character, is whether we continue to plug away despite the trials, and our attitude during the tough times.
It's like fishing. You throw your favorite plug, the bail closes unexpectedly, and your lucky plug hits some guy in the back of the head walking on a beach in France.
Do you say the hell with it, and go sit on a stool at the Chubby Pickle and pound 10 drafts?
Or do you just tie on another plug?
Thanks, Dark, for all the encouragement over the years. You are a true friend.
Yours,
Jon
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...nresized-1.jpg
Jon, that was beautifully said......and so damn true......
In the past the answer to every obstacle was to get drunk or high.....
That's not an option anymore.....facing every obstacle is what adults do, every day.....
Although it can be tough and depressing at times......pushing forward gives results....and can make tomorrow a better day than today......
You always have a way of putting things in crystal clear perspective....thanks for your thoughts over the years....they mean a lot my friend....:) :HappyWave:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts......:HappyWave:
You all help make this world a better place for me...your humor, thoughts, even when ya'a poke fun at me..:moon:..all good, and enjoyed.....
Pebbles, you are without a doubt the best thing that ever happened in my life......I thank God every day for allowing our paths to cross.....Love ya sweetie....:heart: :kiss:
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkSkies
.....facing every obstacle is what adults do, every day.....
you are right, it's just what we do.
thanks again
jon
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Hey congrats on the anniversary dark and keep up the good work!
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Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Congrats Dark, great accomplishment :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
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Thanks all for the kind words. :HappyWave:
It is, as Jon said, all Grace....and One Day at a Time.....
If anyone who reads this ever wants or needs advice, confidentially, feel free to contact me in private. I will do whatever I can to help, and it will be held in strictest confidence.
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Someone in our extended circle of friends and family recently killed herself.
It was a severe shock to Pebbles and I...we never saw it coming.....
If you know someone in your circle, and they seem unhappy....please do them a kindness and reach out and check in with them, maybe more often than you regularly do......we all lead busy lives, but a simple 10 minute phone call can make a world of difference to someone who is facing depression and the issues associated with it.....
There is no attempt at guilt here....when someone makes that ultimate choice to end their lives, it's on them. It's not healthy to feel guilty about it. Most of the times, there are no signs or clues....In my experience those really looking for suicide as a solution will rarely talk about it.....if someone is not open and honest about their feelings, there is not much chance you will be able to stop them.
However, ff someone does mention to to you, and reaches out, even by casually mentioning it, please take them seriously.....
You never know how much difference you can make in someone's life, just with a few kind and caring words,......
Our Heavenly Father.....please watch over her, as she is now with you.....
And shine your Benevolence on family and friends she left behind....
A link to another thread with a discussion on Suicide...
http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...-done-about-it