W T G BRO THAT IS GREAT
:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping: :clapping::plastered::plastered::plastered::plaste red::plastered::plastered:
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Thanks Speedy! :HappyWave:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Pray to God, row to shore.
-- Anonymous
The sign in the antique store showed a fisherman in a rowboat being tossed about in a storm. The message was clear: the fisherman may have great faith, but now was not the time to put away the oars and kneel in prayer - it was time to pray and row!
Sometimes we find ourselves in a storm of trouble, a sea of problems, and we want God to get us out. We may even pray, "God, get me out of this mess." But like the man in the rowboat, the way out is not just by praying to God. The way out is to pray, ask for help, and take action - do something to help ourselves.
Praying to God won't keep us sober if we don't also go to Twelve Step meetings. Praying to God to heal our relationships with others won't help unless we're willing to make amends. Health and recovery are a combination of prayer, communication with our Higher Power, and a commitment to do our part.
Today help me to pray and take action.
That is certainly something that we should all be living by. I have been so busy and cranky lately that I have forgotten to stop and smell the roses.
Thanks for the reminder.
Good job Dark. Proud of you man.
Thanks bro. :HappyWave:
Ah, yer too hard on yourself, sweetheart. I'm the King Crab of crabbiness, (maybe second to Finchaser ;)), so if you're a little cranky once in awhile, it's no big deal. Thanks for puttin up with me. :heart:
The roses are there every day...all we have to do is look for them. :kiss:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
No tap dancing around problems
Our program calls for a "searching and fearless" moral inventory, not only in the beginning, but as we continue to follow our new way of life.
What this means is complete honesty about who and what we really are. We should not tap dance around our problems in order to evade responsibility. This will not bring the cleansing we need for real sober living. We need deep changes, not mere surface ones.
Difficult as it is to be fully honest, it's made easier when we remind ourselves that it's all for our own recovery. We benefit in proportion to the amount of honesty we bring to our inventory. If it's searching and fearless, the results will be far-reaching and substantial.
I will not shirk from facing the truth about myself as I go through the day. What I need for self-improvement will be revealed to me.
This speaks to me because I have family members who I have to deal with regularly, who haven't a clue about getting honest. Everything is everybody else's fault, negativity is rampant, and criticism flows like a heavy summer rain. :don't know why:
If you have people like this in your family or circle of friends, the best strategy is to avoid them as much as possible.
Some people are so whacked out they'll never change. It's important to learn to recognize the difference in life between mature adults and users who are geared toward manipulating others and avoiding responsibility. If you can do that and act accordingly, your life will be much more enjoyable.
Also, this will allow you to focus on taking a moral inventory of yourself. As time goes by in our sobriety, we tend to get complacent. We need to look within ourselves regularly to assess the honesty we have with ourselves and others, That's one of the building blocks of continued sobriety. :learn:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Worry and Stress
"Make plans but don't plan results." This is a simple phrase cautioning us against unnecessary worry and stress.
If our plans involve other people, we would be wise to work joyfully toward realizing our dreams, but we should not expect or worry if others do not want the same goals. Nor should we worry if others are not as enthused about our ideas as we are. We know, by applying the Serenity Prayer, that we can only change ourselves; we cannot force changes in others.
Another cause of unnecessary stress in planning results comes from our ingrained habit of regarding ourselves as inadequate. All too often, those of us who make plans give up on ourselves when we predict the outcome of our dreams on the basis of our past experiences. We falsely conclude that because we failed or felt empty in the past, we'll most certainly not succeed in the future; thus, we quit too soon and rationalize our resignation with a "Why bother to try?" attitude.
TODAY I will make plans but not plan results. I will work out my plan, one day at a time, knowing that my past performance is NOT an infallible indicator of my present or future success. I will look forward with hope, not despair.
My family is filled with people who have this attitude, excuses and rationalizations for failing to attempt something.
Those who try... may fail OR achieve their goals.
Those who fail to try will achieve nothing. If this descibes family or people in your circle of friends, it's time to distance yourself from that and look for positive people. Stick with the winners. :learn:
Amen to that Rich stick to the positive people because the rest will bring you down real quick.:HappyWave:
^^ Amen to that Surfstix, we both have had our encounters with people who offer nothing but negativity. :thumbsup:
Today's reading seemed to relate to that:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Nobody's family can hang out the sign, "Nothing's the matter here."
--Chinese Proverb
None of us come from a perfect family, but if we have any family at all, it's worth the effort to see what there is to enjoy about it. Sometimes it's difficult or impossible, because there's been so much damage. If there's really nothing left, we have to look for family in the fellowship of other sober people.
A family is not always people who are blood related. A family can be people who are so committed to the growth of each other and the relationship that they've become brothers and sisters of a sort. A family is two or more people who care deeply for one another and who are comfortable with each other. We can choose to surround ourselves with others who we feel this way about.
Today let me recognize something good in my family and work at building a relationship.
The above speaks to me because I have the dysfunctional family issues that many others have to face. My family, through deaths, divorces, and job changes, is spread throughout the US. I've tried to be the one who calls and checks in on the older relatives every now and then, and I enjoy doing it.
That's because in my own immediate family there's too much dysfunctionality, from lies, manipulation, avoiding responsibility, and denial, that spending any time near some of these people is like being in a rehab boot camp for a week.:burn: It's frustrating to be around people who thrive on negativity.
That's one of the reasons I'm probably good at spotting deceitful people, both in real life and in cyberspace. I tend to have no respect for manipulative people, that's just the way I am due to my background. I make no apologies for that, I'm happy to pick out and avoid people who I find to be manipulative or have a hidden agenda.
Some points here....
1.Salvage your family relationships if you can.
2. Realize that some disputes are petty and should be resolved.
3. If family members are dysfunctional, but aging or ill, ask yourself how you would feel if they died tomorrow with unresolved issues outstanding between you?
4. Make every effort you can to give family special consideration.
Most importantly, learn to recognize that some relationships will always be 1 sided, Do your best to walk away from toxic people, before their toxicity starts to influence you.
Bear in mind that some non-family members can, over time, take the place of dysfunctional family members. I try to think about that regularly. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif There are some people outside of my family, and here, :HappyWave: who I have warmer feelings about than my own blood, I think that was something that naturally evolved from being sick and tired of dealing with whiners and negative people.
So even if you think your family's the worst in the world, remember you can always add people into your circle to replace them. And you'll be a lot healthier for doing so. :thumbsup:
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Going through some heavy changes in my life right now. Thanks for the post I needed to hear that.
Baitstealer, sometimes it's not the task ahead that drags us down, it's the inertia to get started on the path.
I've been doing some work that will hopefully bring me and Pebbles into a more secure future. It took forever to get the momentum to start. Once I did, I realized it wasn't so bad. Startiing, that was the hard part. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif
PM me anytime you want to discuss things in confidentiality. :HappyWave:
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Whatever men attempt, they seem driven to overdo.
--Bernard Baruch
It's usually very difficult for us to bring balance into our lives. We may find it hard not to put in overtime at work. We may be obsessed about housework or yard work to the extent that we work long hours at it. Whatever we do, whatever we have, whatever we want, it's usually not enough for us.
Any activity or commitment needs a certain amount of time, concentration, and energy. But some of us may be too absorbed in physical fitness to notice we are always tense, always on the go. Some of us may be so obsessed with money that we take on additional work, not noticing we are often hard to get along with. Some of us may be so fascinated by a hobby that we ignore people in our lives who need our time and attention, too.
We need to recognize the obsessive areas of our lives and begin to make changes. It may mean assigning time limits to different activities. Or it may mean altering our schedules, even letting go of an activity. Now is the time to begin to bring balance into our lives, gently and gradually.
I know I need more balance in my life. What are some changes I can make to bring the scales more in balance?
This definitely speaks to me. I have always had issues balancing things in my life.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
--Vicki Baum
We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.
Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.
We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.
We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.
Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten their vision of the future.
A kind word, some praise, a few minutes to listen to problems that might be vexing a friend and dragging them down....you never know how valuable these gifts can be to someone who might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take a few extra minutes, give it a shot, you could make a world of difference. :thumbsup:
Had to let go of an old friend...the sad thing is, Toby was an enormous part of my life for many many years, but i lost track of him. It turns out he died 2 years ago, of liver cancer.
I just found out last night.
Another one bites the dust.
That sucks, Jon. Liver cancer, pancreatic cancer, all cancers in that area are terrible, you have some hope but it's an uphill battle against the odds.
I'm so sorry to hear the news. Thoughts and prayers for his family, and for you on the loss of your old friend. :(
Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, jon. Condolences.
Thanks guys.
feel like hell that I didn't keep in touch.
the story is, is that he found out he had it and died a week later.
crap.
I've had that feeling too Jon. Sometimes I get wrapped up in work and lose touch with people. We're only human. What's done is done. I feel you're a pretty reliable guy for keeping in touch with people all around. If you think you could have done better, only you know the extent of that. Maybe you could use that to help you in the circle of people you now know.
No sense beating yourself up for it, as long as we learn and move on. Again, sorry for your loss. :(
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Words are the voice of the heart.
--Confucius
What does my heart have to say today? Am I happy? Or am I troubled? We will find this out if we slow down and listen to our words. We can also hear our spirit in the tone of our words.
We are to meditate. Meditation is about slowing down so we can hear what our spirit is trying to tell us. Meditation is listening. Our spirit is but a quiet whisper inside us. To hear it we must quiet ourselves.
Slowing down allows us to find our center. As we find our center we find our spirit and our Higher Power.
Do I take the time needed to slow myself down? Do I take the time to listen - to listen to my heart?
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, teach me to slow down. Teach me to listen. Teach me to hear Your whispers as well as Your yells.
Action for the Day
Today, I will take a half hour to slow down and listen. I will find a place to relax and listen to my heart and my words.