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I struggled with turning my will over to God, in early recovery. When I tried, I didn't know what to do next.
What I realized over time, and learning, was that as I got rid of my stinkin' thinkin', I had to fill in that void with positive thinking.
The Big Book was the first choice, than a daily devotional, and now the Bible.
God's will and intent for me, today. Do what is good and pure and true, is God's will for me, and not my will for myself.:)
I have always felt that the Big Book was inspired by God's grace. It spoke to me clearly and at a time when the Bible was probably beyond me. I got a hold of Norman Vincent Peales Power of Positive Thinking, a kind of beginners guide to the Bible that worked well for me.:HappyWave: Eventually, I was able to read the Bible and let it guide me.
I believe God gave me a new start. I wake up some mornings and hold my coffee with a firm strong hand, no shakes or tremors. I say to my wife, "Look at that, Baby!" She thinks I am nuts. She didn't know me when I was drinking. But I know. And I thank God and my fellow drunks for where I am today. :thumbsup:
December 19, 2008
The Choice is Mine
I once encountered many blind alleys,
but today, as long as I have faith, my path is clear.
This has all been slow progress for me.
Like so many, I do not always surrender completely;
I allow the cares and worries of the day distort my thinking.
But as soon as I get back on the right track, I realize that I have everything I need.
Whatever problems confront me, large or small, they can be solved wisely.
Or they can be solved my way. The choice is mine.
I like the above reading because is shows how AA/NA does not push you into something, it simply presents a better way of thinking. Like they say,
"Or they can be solved my way"
Solving problems with the old alcoholic way of thinking will get you the same results you always got. Don't believe it? Try it! :rolleyes: And keep banging your head against the wall. :banghead2: My way didn't work. To anyone out there who is struggling with an alcohol problem, I would ask them: How many times did you try to quit? Do it your way? did your way work?
The way that they talk abpout involved surrender, which was difficult for some, has been difficult for me, and sometimes continues to be difficult as I accumulate each year of sobriety. I surrendered my ideas about alcohol and drugs, I believe that saved my life. But surrender is greater than that. Surrender is a frame of mind, not a conscious agreement to just remove one or two things from your life.
A friend and I were having a conversation the other day about someone who started snorting coke at an early age, and stopped doing that and just smokes pot. Is that guy an alcoholic or addict? Only he knows the answer, but I think a lot of the thinking and rationalization around those decisions to keep smoking pot revolves around the concept of surrender.
Anyway, I can't make an assessment of that guy because I am still strong willed myself, but that makes me part of who I am.
Understanding and living the idea of surrender, to me, is a balancing act. We must surrender our behavior and old attitudes, but we don't have to surrender our identities. Following the program and the steps allows us to make the choices that are best for us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mick2360
Mick, Power of Positive thinking, great book. I still resist reading the Bible, though. :embarassed:
As far as the highlighted part, many didn't know me when I was drinking, and they say - well how bad could it have been, you're cured now, you can have one beer, it won't kill you.
But I know... one beer won't hurt. I know I can have one. I know I can have 10 or 20, and my head won't explode. I know I can smoke a joint, or 10, and that won't kill me either. But I choose not to.
What happens when I want to check out the latest pot strain that someone grew in their basement, or the latest chemical made in someone's bathtub, when that one beer just isn's enough for me anymore? That's where my problem comes in. If one of anything is something you can stick with, you are probably not an alcoholic or addict.
I'm not a one of anything kind of guy. I went fishing on a moment's notice last night without bringing food for later. So I bought a box of donuts and some bagels at the quik chek. Ate half the box of donuts for breakfast, couldn't have just one. :D
Amen, Rich:)
December 20, 2008
Believe
I feel that I have been restored to health and sanity these past years
not through my own efforts nor as a result of anything I may have done,
but because I've come to believe -- to really believe -- that alone I can do nothing.
That my own innate selfishness and stubbornness are the evils which,
if left unguarded, can drive me to alcohol.
I have come to believe that my illness is spiritual as well as physical and mental,
and I know that for help in the spiritual sphere I have to turn to a HIgher Power.
It's hard for me to add to this, it says it all. We come to believe, which to me means its a gradual process. When we are feeling empty inside, and there is a hole that alcohol or drugs cannot fill, we will gradually look for something else to believe in. And that will come in its own time..http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif
I believe, too Good begets good, and evil begets evil. I've also learned, that I can't do good and evil at the same time. When I think of my Heavenly Father, I can't be doing wrong, and this I believe.:)
December 21, 2008
Highway to Humility
As I thus get down to my right size and stature,
my self-concern and importance become amusing.
Then faith grows that I do have a place on this Highway;
that I can advance upon it with deepening peace and confidence. . .
This is a great gift, this knowledge that I do have a destiny.
- Bill W., June 1961
Thought to Ponder....
Humility is not a station we arrive at; it's a way of traveling.
This is a great way to look at things because it places it in perspective. Humble, humbleness, humility, surrender, how can I continue to live my life and be a man if I wrap my head around this stuff, seems like a bunch of frikkin brainwashing, what are they trying to turn us into, a bunch of sheep? :huh:
That's one of the problems with us as alcoholics and addicts - our arrogance, self-importance, and unwillingness to take direction and let go of our self-will, which has failed us many times before. If you have experienced some of the above feelings and sense of despair after seeing your way of doing it fail, and failed to quit on your own, even by minimizing the substances you use, and it still is not working, then you might be an alcoholic or addict.
The realization that we are alcoholics or addicts, and the learnign process, requires us to humble our selves to be able to listen to the advice and direction of others who have their chit together.
So for me, humbleness, humility, etc, doesnt make us weak, it makes us willing to grow with the feedback from others, and willing to take steps that we weren't taking before. Willingness to abandon the "stinkin thinkin" and move on to a better place. :thumbsup:
December 22, 2008
Unchangeable Fact
We try never to lose sight of the unchangeable fact of our alcoholism,
but we learn not to brood or feel sorry for ourselves or talk about it all the time.
We accept it as a characteristic of our body
-- like our height or our need for glasses, or like any allergies we may have.
Then we can learn to live comfortably -- not bitterly -- with the knowledge
that as long as we start out by simply avoiding that first drink (remember?)
just for today.
Thought to Ponder....
The first drink has the last say.
That works for me. I'm Rich, a recovering alcoholic and addict. That's an unchangeable fact. Not to be worn as a badge of honor, but an identity that I must remember when I'm with people who might say: Hey man, you must be cured by now, all those years sober, you can have one drink with us, one drink won't hurt?
Sure it won't hurt, no porblem. But I know where I came from, and how hard a struggle it was to get where I am today. It's part of who I am. I ain't giving that up for one drink. I want to remember how it was for me. I see that as I try to give back by helping newcomers as they struggle. I don't want to go through that struggle again. I'm glad to be where I am, one day at a time.
December 23, 2008
Abundant Hope
Hopelessness has been replaced by abundant hope and sincere faith. . .
I find joy in my daily life, in being of service, in simply being. . .
The things that I have learned from my own experience, from the Big Book,
and from my friends in AA -- patience, acceptance, honesty, humility,
and true faith in a Power greater than myself --
are the tools I use today to live my life, this precious life.
Thought to Ponder....
Faith is hope in things unseen.
This is one of the critical keys to recovery. The program asks you to have faith. Faith in what? Either a higher power, or the practices and principlles of the program. I could see how people would have an issue with that and call it brainwashing. How can they expect you to have faith in something you can't even see? Isn't that crazy? :kooky:
The point is that we couldn't do this stuff on oour own, we tried, and failed. So ya have to start somewhere new, have to trust in something other than your previous stinkin thinkin. That's where the faith comes in.
For a lot of people, that faith involves God, but it doesn't have to. It can be whatever you want it to be. It can be people, your sponsor, etc. For me, even if you have doubts, the willingness to at least try and have an open mind is a plus.
Jimmy, that's real simple, and it works. :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy z
I believe I had to hit that bottom, the bottom of the bottoms. And once I was there, all I could do was look up. There isn't a more humble feeling, saying, " I'm beat, I can't do this anymore". At that point, I knew i didn't want to live that life anymore. I had faith, that the program worked, and I knew that I needed to change more that just the drinking.
Selflessness, is a key for me today. I need to help others, and to stay connected, to positive people.
One might say, "how do you do this?" My whole family drinks, or, all of my friends drink. It's a tough decision to make at times, especially around the holidays, but we are different. I never put myself in harms way, and I certainly didn't when in early recovery. And why? Because I had faith, and believed what the Big Book said.
:)
Merry Christmas, everyone
December 24, 2008
Rewards
The rewards of sobriety are bountiful and as progressive
as the disease they counteract.
Certainly among these rewards for me are release from the prison of uniqueness,
and the realization that participation in the AA way of life
is a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate
-- a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradation of drinking,
and filled with the joy of useful, sober living,
and a privilege to grow in sobriety one day at a time
and bring the message of hope as it was brought to me.
Thought to Ponder....
I had to get sober to be amazed.
Amen, it is a blessing and a privelege to be sober today.
There are thousands out there still suffering. They will struggle in pain and lost opportunities until they make the decision enough is ehough. There are also people who I have seen come through the doors, became friends with, was impressed with their recovery, and they're now dead because they went back out. All you hqve to do to keep your memory green is go to meetings and look around. If someone asks for your help there, reach out and help them. Your help might be the lifeline they need to begin building a solid foundation, one day at a time. :thumbsup:
Holidays are the worst time for us because we take stock of our lives and the visions we see are not pretty. Coupled with dysfunctional family relationships, many think of killing themselves this time of year.
Someone I was close to killed himself 4 years ago around this time, the date of his death just passed about 2 weeks ago. He was depressed and was too "smart" to talk to anyone about it, so now he's dead.
I'm not a guy who can come up with profound prayers, but on this morning of Christmas Eve, I'd like to offer a prayer for all the still suffering alcoholics and addicts out there:
God, I ask that you continue to help these suffering alcoholics and addicts, and all people who are having trouble in their family and primary relationships, whether alcoholics or not, at this time of year. Sometimes people need just a glimmer of hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I pray that through your inspiration, and the reaching out of others, sometimes strangers, these people can see the light and find their way....Amen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy z
:thumbsup: You always say it so well, Jimmy. Hitting bottom comes differently for each person that experiences it, but we can't truly help them until they do, and decide on their own that enough is enough. It's even sadder to see people who try and don't make it because they are still fighting a disease like they are in a boxing ring.
But we have to be patient, help others, and stay connected to positive people, like you said. Hopefully, with the help of God and others, we will have realize these things before it kills us or destroys all relationships.
December 25, 2008
Greetings From Bill W.
~ December 1970 ~
Gratitude is just about the finest attribute we can have,
and how deeply we of AA realize this at Christmastime.
Together, we count and ponder our blessings of life, of service, of love.
In these distraught times, we have been enabled to find an always increasing
measure of peace within ourselves.
Together with all here at AA's General Service Office,
Lois joins me in warmest greeting to each and all of you,
and we share our confident faith that the year to come
will be counted among the best that our Fellowship has ever known.
© 1988 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Language of the Heart, p. 351 Thought to Ponder . . . When brimming with gratitude,
one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love,
the finest emotion that we can ever know.
H O P E = Hang On! Peace Exists.
Hey everyone! I am grateful for what I have today. I know I woujld be dead if I hadn't hit bottom, and was forced to look at my life in a new light. I am grateful I was given my life back, and for all those who I have in my life who have helped me. Even though I may not talk to or see some of these people all the time, when you have good people in your life it doesn't matter. You can start a conversation after not having talked to them for a year, and it's like there was never the lapse of time.
God puts people in your life for a reason, and I am grateful things have happened the way they did for me.
I had a good conversation with someone last night about God and the program They also mentioned that when people don't feel comfortable putting all your faith in God, in the beginning, the program is a good thing, because it allows your higher power to be anything you want it to be, other than yourself.
Merry Christmas to all out there, I hope you can find peace with your families, or the people you choose to have in your life, for this one day. :HappyWave:
December 26, 2008
Belonging
Today, I'm counting my blessings instead of my troubles.
When I walked into the friendly atmosphere of my first AA meeting
I knew I was where I belonged.
Here were people who had thought and felt as I had.
Here was the understanding I'd been searching for all my life.
These people were my friends, and I felt their sincere interest in me.
With these new and enlightening doors opening up to me,
I was able to make the eventual decision to stop drinking, a day at a time --
because I, too, was an alcoholic.
The thing that worked for me is going to meetings and opening my mind to what I might hear there. It helps keep my memory green, and at every meeting I can find someone who is speaking about something I can identify with, IF I am willing to listen.
I sometimes run into other friends there, or newcomers, who say they're not happy with the meeting because too many people smoke, or there are too many different clicks at this meeting, or the other meeting has too much drama, or they don't get enough time to share at that meeting.
There are a whold lot of different meetings out there, and some do have a certain character or flavor. So if you don't like the one you're going to, move on and find one where you're happy.
It's simple, the progream makes things simple. It's we stubborn addicts and alcoholics who make things difficult by complicating them.
And to repeat what I said above, it's good to speak up at a meeting if you have an issue bothering, but there's a lot to be said for just listening, and learning. :D You can always find an understanding between you and most groups of people if you are willing to try.
December 27, 2008
A Logical Idea
People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about.
Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever.
We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual belief and practices
when we might have observed that many spiritual-minded persons
of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability,
happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves.
Thought to Ponder....
Hold your face up to the Light,
even though for the moment you do not see.
When I read the above, I remember how it was when I first came into the program. I had no faith in anything. I viewed only the bad and evil things I noticed out there, that's what seemed to stand out, so I noticed them. I wondered how there could be a just and benevolent God if all that crap was going on in the world. How could a good God let all that stuff happen? If we were supposed to put our faith in God, that seemed so lame, how was he going to protect us from all the evil out there? Was there gong to be a magic "God shield" for all the people who had faith, so they would have stress-free lives?
I know cynicism because I know many kinds of people. I know people who have stopped believing in God. A few months ago, I met a priest who was probably an alcoholic. He was one of the most angry people I ever met, told me he stopped believing in God. Meeting him was a trip, there was anger and unhappiness in every sentence that came out of his mouth. I was supposed to do some work for him, but bailed when I saw how abusive he was to the other people who tried to help him. I didn't want to be another person who he nlet his anger out on. I don't have to put up with that today, I can make the choice to say no.
Sometimes ya just can't help people, becasue they don't want to be helped. They have to "come to believe" in their own time.
As for belief, anyone who has been reading these daily readings knows I have a belief in God, but I still struggle with it. People I know send me e-mail with religious themes. I am grateful they do, but sometimes I honestly feel guilty because I don't have the blind faith they do. I try, but to completely give it all up to God has always been tough for me, even though I have a bunch of recovery years under my belt (one day at a time) :D
I look at these friends who have this faith in God, and maybe I am a little envious because of the extent they can put their faith in God, and be happy about it. I did put faith in God when I became sober, and realized I could not do it alone, so I started praying. I feel that helped me. I started going to church again, but don't go regularly. I don't want to go regularly, because honestly I get more motivation out of meetings than I get from church.
So maybe I still don't know what I'm looking for in terms of faith? I see the people who have it, or seem to be more centered than I am, and it seems attractive to me, so I try. I still can't wrap my head around the blind faith part. People say "God's in charge". For most of my recovery, I tried to create a sober life (with the help of the program), but also to survive financially. For the fianancial and responsibility part, it's up to me how my life turns out, not God. That's how I feel.
I'll keep trying.
This sone is dedicated to the people here and in my life who keep sending me the religious stuff. :HappyWave:
This song is literally about him finding out he's going to be a Dad, which changes everything.
However, another way to look at the song is to look at it in terms of the faith people have, whether in God, or something else in their lives. When I heard this song yesterday, it again reminded me of faith.
:) I hear ya Rich.
Jimmy, your ears musta been ringin. :HappyWave: