One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jimmy z

Isolation was always a big problem for me. Always feeling that I didn't fit in. But that was how I felt, at that time in my life. It was difficult for me to have any type of positive relationship, because of all the negative feeling inside of me.
Well, today I know I can't do this alone, and instead of pushing people away from me, I need them in my life today. :)

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I'd guess most of us here know how you feel. My first drunk was at eleven, with some wine cooler type of drink I'd stolen from local teenagers stashing for the party later that night. I felt light and happy and felt comfortable. I chased that feeling for thirty years. The other first I'd like to talk about was walking into an AA meeting and hearing thirty or so people say "Hi Mick!" when I finally worked up the courage to introduce myself. It was awkward learning to socialize without the planned payoff of a drink somewhere along the line. Now it second nature but, being a big guy, I do try to scope out if dessert of some kind is a possibility! :HappyWave:

Amen brother.:)

January 16, 2009

Simplicity

Repeated experiences have forced us to this logically inescapable conclusion:
If we do not take the first drink, we never get drunk.
Therefore, instead of planning never to get drunk,
or trying to limit the number of drinks or the amount of alcohol,
we have learned to concentrate on avoiding only one drink: the first one.
In effect, instead of worrying about limiting the number of drinks at the end
of a drinking episode, we avoid the one drink that starts it.
Sounds almost foolishly simplistic, doesn't it?


Thought to Ponder....

Nothing is so bad, that a drink won't make worse.


While many of us complicate the things and situations in life by over analysis, the program goes by the motto of keep it simple, and it works. The little lessons of the practices and principles are simple and easy to follow. No matter what things life throws your way, following your old path will lead to the same result, so keep it simple, it works if you work it. :thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

...but, being a big guy, I do try to scope out if dessert of some kind is a possibility! :HappyWave:

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Hey, Mick - what would life be without dessert? :drool: ;) :HappyWave:

January 17, 2009

Powerless

I did not know that it is physically impossible for me to drink moderately.
I did not know that my body's drinking machinery had worn out,
and that the parts could not be replaced.
I did not know that just one drink made it impossible
to control my behavior and conduct and my future drinking.
I did not know, in short, that I was powerless over alcohol.
My family and friends sensed or knew these things about me long before I did.

Thought to Ponder....

When we try to control our drinking, we have already lost control.



Powerless is s tough concept, especially when you are used to doing things for yourself. I kinda knew in my heart I was powerless, but I was in denial and kept trying to prove to myself that I wasn't. I held a job, went to school, all the while living s secret life where the goal of that life was to get as wasted as possible. I could go periods of time without drinking or drugs. There would be times when I crashed a car, or lost my license, where I went cold turkey for awhile, convinced that I had to make some changes.

So I wasn't like those alcoholics on skid row, then I wasn't an alcoholic, right? Nope - thats just the cunning baffling and powerful part of the disease talking to you when you think you're not as bad as someone else, therefore you don't have a problem.

And to admit that your powerless is overwhelming sometimes, more so to a type A personality. That's why we sometimes need to hit bottom to come to that reality. It sucks to have it happen, and it's worse watching your family or friends go through it, there is nothing you can do but let them fall and feel the hurt from that fall. After that, the foundations of a recovering life can be built.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DarkSkies

all the while living a secret life

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yup

Funny thing is, I was never much interested in one drink. I still don't understand it, maybe having had so few of them. I do know that any alcohol swiftly overcomes my intentions to 'take it easy'. I had to take a look at what alcohol was doing to my life and not compare myself to someone who was REALLY badly off. I could always find a way to rationalize the next drink. I nearly rationalized myself to death. :HappyWave:

January 18, 2009

No Barriers

Many of my AA friends now are a generation or two older,
but there is no barrier. AA is big enough for all.
Each generation contributes its own gifts, talents, and thinking to AA.
Each brings its own ideas and beliefs.
We each bring our common disease of alcoholism, our free will,
and the right to work the AA principles as we understand them,
through a Power greater than ourselves.


Thought to Ponder....

Happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.



^^ That's definitely true, this thread is open to anyone who wants to chime in, it doesn't mean you're an alcoholic if you stop by here. No judgements here.

Speaking of stopping by, someone said my bro George, the one who started the thread "Who here doesn't drink anymore?", has been stopping by the site lately. I hope you and your family are well, George, and life has been ok. I won't see you March this year when you come down, but you're welcome to stop by any time and bs, or contact me if you come to Jersey to fish. :HappyWave:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

. I could always find a way to rationalize the next drink. I nearly rationalized myself to death. :HappyWave:

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:thumbsup: Right on Mick, we drunks are the best rationalizers. I used to hang out with a goood buddy, he's sober now, but when I hung out with him he was on the edge. He would come up with these crazy schemes, and we always rationalized them. Looking back, we're lucky we're not dead or didn't get shot. It all seemed perfectly ok then. :kooky: Sobriety, and a few years of maturity, and you look back at those times and say "What the hell was I thinking?"

We weren't thinking. And we are all very lucky to be here, maybe we were saved for a better purpose?




Better purpose, anyone check out sober house lately? I was half asleep the other night and saw it for 5 minutes. Got Dr Drew as the moderator, should be interesting to see what's up.





Also anyone check out Artie lately? I don't get the Stern show, didn't know he put on so much weight . He's such a great talent, I hope he makes it.

January 19, 2009

Adventure

Following this spiritual path made a major difference in my life.
It seemed to fill that lonely hole that I used to fill with alcohol.
My self-esteem improved dramatically,
and I knew happiness and serenity as I had never known before.
I started to see the beauty and usefulness in my own existence,
and tried to express my gratitude through helping others
in whatever ways I could.
A confidence and faith entered my life and unraveled a plan for me
that was bigger and better than I could ever imagined. . .
I have hope to share and love to give, and I just keep going one day at a time,
living this adventure called life.


Thought to Ponder....

May the road always lead where you need to be.



^ Tha above sounds like one of those Irish blessings, pretty cool. I hope I and others who posted here haven't implied too bad a picture of the way things were for us, for the non-alcoholics who may read this. This might make it hard to identify with the possibilities if you had questions about your drinking. I put the memories of my past out there to keep my memory green and remember where I came from. I did some bad and hurtful things, we all did.

Though I have a couple sober years under my belt, I'm smart enough to realize that could change, and one drink is all it takes.

When I was in rehab I met a few unusual characters. One was a nun who only drank a few times a year, yet her behavior caused her problems and also for those around her. It was tough to realize come to the realization that her behavior was affecting others, and tough for me to believe it also. How could a nun who drank a few times a year be an alcoholic? :huh: BS, I said.

There was another guy, who made it a habit of getting blind drunk, going to bars, and issuing ridiculous challenges to people. One challenge he issues was where he brought a bowling ball with him and bet someone $20 he could handle having it dropped on his stomach, beer muscles. so they dropped the bowling ball on his stomach from about 6' up, and it ruptured his stomach, or gave him a hernia because of the way he was pushing his stomach up. Something like that.

There was also another lady who in her late 50's, skin was yellow,jaundiced, belly big like she was 9 months pregnant. 2 days later they took her out of there, she died.

I had trouble identifying at first because I was looking at them and saying they weren't like me. I wasn't facing reality.

"When we concentrate on the behaviors that distinguish alcoholics instead of the circumstances, we begin to make headway." Think BillW might have said that.

So actively listening to someone tell their story, if we identify with even a few parts of it, helps us to understand who we are, and help us with growth and moving on. We can still identify with someone elsse if they are talking about feelings of being happpy, lonely, sad, miserable, joyous, or isolated. These are feelings that we all experience at one time or other. Learning to recognize the way to identify with others helps us to feel less isolated, and renew our connections to society.

And it's good advice for others in society who managed to feel disconnected, some people only feel connected by the internet in these times we live in. We learn to appreciate others by appreciating what they have to say (as long as not in too many words) ;) :laugh:

Once we make the decision to surrender, we can begin the recovery process. As we recover, we can help others, and in doing so feel gratified at our efforts in giving back.

The joys of sobriety are limitless, and should also be praised. No more losing important things in your life, wallets, car keys, friends, family, relationships.

No more missed social occasions because drinking was more important. Some of us replaced our alcohol addictions with fishing, harmless, but you can also get divorced, or lose relationships, over fishing too much:
http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...e+surf+fishing

No more excuses why we screwed up, as we begin to take personal responsibility for our actions.

And the ability to fully enjoy the important peoiple in our lives with the time we still have left with them. This is one of the most precious gifts of all.

An addiction, any addiction, fishing, shopping, workaholism, internet surfing, gambling, overeating, etc hurts relationships because it prioritizes our time spent, and the ones who mean the most to us usually come last.

That's one of the reasons I'm grateful I bounceed into the program. Sure it saved my life, but it gave me a life back that I had abandoned in favor of my addictions. I gotta be careful that fishin doesn't become the latest addiction, it's hard to limit doing something when you loive it so much.

If friends and family relationships suffer from anything we spend too much time doing, it's something we might want to look at.

Sorry for the long post, somenone once said I get paid by the word. ;)

Very well said, my friend.:HappyWave:

January 20, 2009

The Beacon

Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection.
So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt
for failure to achieve His likeness and image by Thursday next.
Progress is our aim,
and His perfection is the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on.
Thought to Ponder....

Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.


The above is meaningful to me because it tells me some of the corny things they say in the program are true:

"Progress not perfection"

Faith for me is a long winding road, but holding my face to the light long enough means I have the chance to be enlightened each time I do it. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif

January 21, 2009


Pride

We temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied
that there is no need for all of AA's Twelve Steps for us.
We are doing fine on only two of them,
the First Step and that part of the Twelfth where we "carry the message.
In AA slang, that blissful state is known as "two-stepping."
And it can go on for years.

Thought to Ponder....

The ego seeks the destination; the soul seeks the journey.






"The ego seeks the destination; the soul seeks the journey" I like that thought because I knoow I am on a journey. I hve more than a few 24 hours under my belt, more than a few years. My Dad, and some friends, used to say, yeah, you can have just one beer with us, you're cured now.

I haven't a bad had drinking or drug related incident in many years because I eliminated those things from my life. I still believe the disease is cunning baffling and powerful, and act as if it could be me when I hear someone went out and started up again. I worked the steps, wrote and acted on them, but I don't see myself as being cured. Recovery is a better word.

And there are still many areas where I am deficient and need work. My faith wavers at times. I have a bunch of character defects I'm working on. I could always use improvement. I keep my memory green by going to meetings. There are no more urges, haven't had them in years. It's still good to keep in touch.

Part of that is trying to givr back to others, as many have helped me. Going to meetings, helping newcomers, maintaining this thread, extending a helping hand when needed, working on my wavering faith and character defects, trying to become a better communicator with people, that's all part of what works for me.

I don't want to be in a place where I start to boast that I'm cured, and I'm immune from the disease of alcoholism and addiction. Pride in the work you do is good, pride in your ego not so good.

January 22, 2009

"Easy Does It"

We must learn to walk before we can run. That's why we have these slogans.
I use that "Easy Does It" every day to slow me down a little.
I have to watch myself all the time.
So I don't just take the inventory at night -- I take it continually throughout the day.
I stop and check it over first, and then let my conscience be my guide.
For me, AA has become a way of life.


Thought to Ponder....

It works -- it really does.




The slogans are good whether you have one week of sobriety, or 10 years. I think for some of us, and me, there was a sense of wasted years during our drinking and drugging. Coming into recovery, you feel inspired and want to set out on your new path quickly, get lots of stuff done to make up for the wasted years. Yesterday is a cancelled check, the best thing to focus on is today. That's another little program saying.

Sometimes they fit in and help us, but they can seem to be annoying. For example, I spend lots of time during the season fishin. I'm now running around like crazy trying to get all the projects done that piled up during the summer. Gotta get them done, gotta pile on more as soon as the current one gets done. :scared:

That's ok, as long as we don't piule too much on that we feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel. It's good to stop and take a break every now and then, smell the roses. Like the program says, easy does it. Sounds simple, but not always for a type-A personality. ;)

Slogan's make sense. I still use 'em, and I believe in them as tools.:)

January 23, 2009

Challenges

Life is meant to be lived by facing the challenges it brings.
Otherwise, I'm not living, just existing.
God didn't give me this gift of sobriety to sit in a rocking chair,
imagining myself as some wise old woman who has arrived somewhere.
There is no easier, softer way.
To bring the great escape act into sobriety
is to travel with a companion that led me to despair long ago.
The teaching I receive in AA about courage and love
helps me to grapple with the challenges of life
as they are given to me one day at a time.


Thought to Ponder....

What I am is Gods gift to me. What I make of myself is my gift to Him.



This is a good reading to remember when your days in sobriety aren't that good. There is a lot of joy and positive thoughts for people who become sober. There are also bad times that come with it. People die, jobs are lost, relationships crash and burn, opportunities don't turn out the way we thought they would. The progream speaks of hills and valleys.

It's easy to maintain our sobriety when everything is beautiful, but tougher to do it when we just lost a job, or are faced with a serious health or personal crisiss. There is nothing so bad, that one drink won't make it worse. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DarkSkies

My faith wavers at times.

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I don't think anyone's immune from doubt. Not even Peter.

Remember Peter's doubt moment when he was walking on the water, of all times? You'd think he'd be thinking, "wow this is great, me and Jesus are walking on water!" but he has this doubt moment, and starts to sink.

Like us, when things are going ok and we are being sober, and all of a sudden this doubt moment happens.

So what do we do? Well, Peter shouted "Lord, save me!" Now that's a pretty strong prayer.

And Jesus grabbed his hand, pulled him up and walked him back into the boat, and then calmed the storm.

He's done that for me, plenty of times. As a matter of fact, I need Him right now.

Thanks for reminding me, Dark.

see ya,
jon

49th birthday today! I've gotten to the point where these days are times to reflect on the blessings in my life. My alcoholism brought suffering but it also brought a deep appreciation of the life that I have now. I sometimes cannot believe that I have been blessed with the family, home and job that I have today.

Looking forward to fishing with Dark come march. Some of you other guys would be welcome. How about it, jon? :HappyWave:

Happy Birthday Mick. Wishing you many years of happiness.:birthday:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

49th birthday today! I've gotten to the point where these days are times to reflect on the blessings in my life. My alcoholism brought suffering but it also brought a deep appreciation of the life that I have now. I sometimes cannot believe that I have been blessed with the family, home and job that I have today.

Looking forward to fishing with Dark come march. Some of you other guys would be welcome. How about it, jon? :HappyWave:

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Hey Mick, Happy birthday, ya old fart! :birthday:

Ya can't come fishin with me without the white bucket, you need it to carry your Depends in. :laugh:

Seriously, 49 ain't that bad, could be worse, wait till next year. ;) I wish you continued sobriety, one day at a time, good health, and happiness with your family, and great fishin in the year ahead. Hope you had a great day, man. :HappyWave:

January 24, 2009

Miracle

I was spiritually bankrupt long before AA entered my life
and long before alcoholism took over like a parasite under my skin.
I had nothing, no faith at all to cling to.
I had no faith in man, because along with my drinking I had lost faith in myself.
I trusted no one, for others were but a mere reflection of my own self,
and I could not trust me. I got sober in AA, and, like a miracle,
the warm flood of reality I had feared for so long flowed over me,
and I was no longer afraid. . .
With the tools and guideposts of AA, we can learn a little more of this precious gift
-- our gateway to human spirituality.

Thought to Ponder....

Don't give up before the miracle happens.




This is a great topic for today. Sometimes I wonder if outsiders reading this will think we are just a bunch of brainwashed ex-drunks and addicts, blindly following these rules, rules, rules. Blindly speaking all the program stuff, we must sound like a bunch of Moonies at times. What a bunch of brainless robots we are, look, they can't even think for themselves! :laugh: :plastered:

We can think for ourselves, and use this stuff to get back on track and lead productive lives. I tried to get outside my words, and thought some of this stuff might be boring to outsiders who don't have alcohol or drug porblems.

That's the beauty of the program and meetings, one size fits all. You can learn as little or as much as you want from it. It's like going to a therapist every week, only it doesn't cost $100.

And there are many miracles out there, I'm one of em. Came back from the dead a few times, and last night I ran into my friend who was runnin the meeting, he was given up for dead more than a few times.

It's powerful medicine, it works, and it's simple. I feel fortunate to be a part of it. For today, I'm grateful for what I have. And I'm grateful that I'm younger than Mick, although this morning I feel like I'm 100. :laugh: :HappyWave: That's all, off to work.

Happy belated Birthday, my friend. I hope all is well.
Stay strong, and be blessed, :).

January 25, 2009

Fellowship

To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish,
to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends --
this is an experience you must not to miss.
We know you will not want to miss it.

Thought to Ponder....

Life is an ongoing miracle.



Amen to fellowship of AA/NA, and just kickin it with friends who identify what you're talkin about when you say something. :thumbsup: I was supposed to take someone to a meeting the other night, but they flaked. Just wasn't the right time for them, no problem. So I ended up at my regular meeting. it's turning out to be my home meeting, the people there give you a good crossx section of sobriety, and struggling to achieve sobriety. Some good learning.

Some of the stuff that was said I thought was worthwhile, so I'll pass it along -

"The inside affects the outside"

"I keep coming to meetings even when I don't feel like it. When I leave I feel the spirits of others lifting me up"

"I come here and see people I thought were ghosts. People do come back from the dead"

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"


Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen. :clapping:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

How about it, jon? :HappyWave:

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I'd love to, but it looks like kind of a long shot this year. And happy birthday, btw. 49 wasn't too bad, but I've only got you by 3 yrs, so I won't give you that "sonny boy" stuff. Well, maybe later.

as far as being brainwashed etc., I would argue that it's just the opposite. I'm finally free.

I was talking with a buddy of mine today who quit 21 yrs ago (I've got 3 1/2 yrs.) We agreed that alcohol is just something we found out that we can't drink, and he said "Hell, I can't drink gasoline either, but so what?" rofl

Thanks to all for the B-day wishes. It meant a lot. The best part of sobriety is meeting life on its terms. You guys, and yes, you too, Ms. Katie, are growing on me. There is a good system of support happening here. And, if by chance someone is out there reading along and struggling with the idea or process of ending the drinking and drugging, or you are effected by someone with this problem, feel free to check in. You are not alone. :HappyWave:

January 26, 2009

The Language of the Heart

From the beginning, communication in AA has been no ordinary transmission
of helpful ideas and attitudes. It has been unusual and sometimes unique.
Because of our kinship in suffering,
and because our common means of deliverance are effective for ourselves
only when constantly carried to others,
our channels of contact have always been charged with the language of the heart.
- Bill W., July 1960.


Thought to Ponder....

The ankle-biters of everyday struggles will eat away at me
unless I go to meetings and share.




BillW was the man. He went through the struggles and figured things out when there were no comprehensive programs of recovery out there. There's not much I can say here, don't want to take away from his spotlight. I'm grateful he blazed the trails he did to make it easier for people like me and others to learn about ourselves and the road to recovery. :clapping:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jonthepain

I'd love to, but it looks like kind of a long shot this year.

as far as being brainwashed etc., I would argue that it's just the opposite. I'm finally free.

We agreed that alcohol is just something we found out that we can't drink, and he said "Hell, I can't drink gasoline either, but so what?" rofl

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Amen to that, Jon. I can't drink paint thinner either, though I used to get pretty high on it when I painted cars. :plastered: There are many things in out life we can do without, and be better off. Amen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

Thanks to all for the B-day wishes. It meant a lot. The best part of sobriety is meeting life on its terms. You guys, and yes, you too, Ms. Katie, are growing on me. There is a good system of support happening here. And, if by chance someone is out there reading along and struggling with the idea or process of ending the drinking and drugging, or you are effected by someone with this problem, feel free to check in. You are not alone. :HappyWave:

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Mick, I know I BB ya about your age, but I love ya anyway.:kiss: :laugh: We're all getting older. A woman at a meeting was freaking out the other night cause she just turned 50. A lot of people told her - at least you didn't turn 50 in jail, or the hospital, or not make it because you were already in the cemetery. We're all getting ollder, life is moving. Older sober is good.


Mohammed won't go to the mountain, the mountain goes to mohammed :D - Mick, I'm thinking of taking a road trip this fall or sooner to see Jon and do some fishin, if he can stand having us around for a day or 2. I'll try to find some cheap hotels down there, might be pretty cheap to go for a day or 2. We can bring the women if they want to make the trip, or not. Should be fun, I'll keep you posted on the details. :fishing:

I'd be glad to have ya. If you bring the wimmens, they will prob want their own digs, but if it's just y'all, I've got plenty of couches, or maybe the kids will let you have their rooms and they can take the couches.

I'm 2 1/2 - 3 hours from surf fishing, (it's mostly blues and drum down here, but if you hit it right you can get into some stripers,) and 2 1/2 minutes from a trophy black bass lake.

there are a pile of cheap motels down here right on the beach. i've got a beach buggy permit for the south topsail inlet beach. that's where some lady just busted the black drum record a month or so ago - i'll dig up the article and post it. it's a beautiful beach. the motel right there charges like $65 off season if i remember right.

you kinda need to go off season tho. and no buggies during summer season.

i've caught lots of stripers at oregon inlet, too. i think you can still camp right near there. it's about 5 hrs from my house.

i haven't been to hatteras. you'll need to check what's up there before you go, tho. sometimes the crowds are so thick it ain't worth it. but you never know.

i've had some luck at ft. fisher, but i'll have to check the dune buggy regs. they change all the time; last time i checked you couldn't stay after dark.

and then there's always portsmouth island...
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...rewresized.jpg
(that's busch na btw)
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...038resized.jpg
Barry
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...045resized.jpg
our digs
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...062resized.jpg
(they have cabins too)

Dark, All in good fun. No worries. A trip down to NC.....sounds like a plan.

Jon, Great pics. It would be an honor to fish with you. I'll be dragging the entry level goog bucket while the master, DS himself, may be upgrading to the special Orange Googan. Dark is a unique character, a gentleman and a good fisherman. Sometimes a bit quiet but he can be encouraged into a conversation.:rolleyes:

Last night in one of my groups a younger guy was talking about his divorce and how he had never had a serious issue with alcohol until then. Suddenly, due to grief and not knowing how to handle it, he was a lights out drinker. Nice kid who rang up a couple of DUI's and some serious legal problems. Ordinary people can change their thinking first, then their emotions and finally their behavior seems to come into line. Drunks seem to need to first change their behavior (It's the drinking, stupid!:)) and stop drinking. After a couple of days of physical withdrawal, which I don't mean to downplay, it can be a medical emergency, the emotions begin to moderate some. Last, for me anyway, was the change in thinking; realizing that staying away from alcohol is a prerequisite for having a life.

Stopping drinking changed a lot. I no longer surrounded myself with out of control people. My taste in women changed; drama and acting out was no longer a draw. My relationships began to deepen. I stopped using alcohol to deal with former disappointments and began to take responsibility for my choices in all things. I began to recognize emotionally distressed people were walking talking 'red lights' and i stopped becoming involved with them. This gave me more time to work on my own issues, of which there were (and are) plenty. Gradually, over the course of a couple of years, life got better. My favorite AA slogan: Keep It Simple. :HappyWave:

January 28, 2009

Possibilities

I have come to believe that hard times are not just meaningless suffering
and that something good might turn up at any moment.
That's a big change for someone who used to come to in the morning
feeling sentenced to another day of life.
When I wake up today, there are lots of possibilities.
I can hardly wait to see what's going to happen next.
I keep coming back because it works.


Thought to Ponder....

Once we clear a hurdle, it doesn't seem so high.






Keep coming back, it works if ya work it! Looks pretty simple to me, good deal. :thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mick2360

Last, for me anyway, was the change in thinking; realizing that staying away from alcohol is a prerequisite for having a life.

Stopping drinking changed a lot. I no longer surrounded myself with out of control people. My taste in women changed; drama and acting out was no longer a draw. My relationships began to deepen. I stopped using alcohol to deal with former disappointments and began to take responsibility for my choices in all things. I began to recognize emotionally distressed people were walking talking 'red lights' and i stopped becoming involved with them. This gave me more time to work on my own issues, of which there were (and are) plenty. Gradually, over the course of a couple of years, life got better. My favorite AA slogan: Keep It Simple. :HappyWave:

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One of the things in my recovery is that most of the out of control and negative people I eliminated, but some good friends and people I fish with are still crazy. I sometimes feed on the thrill of hanging with people who are out there jsut to see how far we can push each other. I know that ain't the most mature position in th world, but to me it's like moshing in a pit, picking th biggest dude there and challenging him to smash heads, all in fun. I still get off on that adrenilin, I would miss it if it weren't in my life. :don't know why:

No particular order, just say a name that comes into your head, and put a number before it. If you wanna say something about them, like how they inspired you to quit, or something like that, go for it.


1. Gary Busey - although he almost blew up his brain riding without a helmet, he made it back, and is clean and sober. :clapping:
2. Joe Walsh - the original Rocky Mountain way dude, sober for a couple of years. :thumbsup: He does a great song called one day at a time, I believe Jon first posted it.
3. Betty Ford - wife of President Ford
"In her second book, published in 1987, BETTY: A GLAD AWAKENING, Mrs. Ford recounts her own recovery from chemical dependency in 1978. Again, she helped millions to understand their illness and to take personal responsibility for their bodies. Then in 1982, Mrs. Ford and Leonard Firestone co-founded The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California, to assist women, men and their families in the starting process of recovery from alcohol and drug addiction. Today, it is regarded as the premier treatment facility in the nation."
:clapping:

January 29, 2009

Vulnerability

Our drinking lives left our emotional selves pinched, scraped, bent, and bruised,
if not pretty firmly warped.
So, as our experience shows, the first nondrinking days
are likely to be periods of great emotional vulnerability.
Is this an extended pharmacological effect of the drinking?
Is it a natural state for anyone recuperating from a long and extended illness?
Or does it indicate a deep flaw in the personality?
The answer doesn't matter at first.
Whatever the cause, the condition is one we have to watch out for,
because it can tempt us to drink faster than the eye, head, or heart can realize.

Thought to Ponder....

Once we understand ourselves, the rest of living falls in line.




The understanding is part of the journey, an important part. Some of the toughest growth for me is looking who I am, what makes me tick, and the things I can and cannot do. Choices - how wll do I know myself, am I willing to look at my behavior to periodically check if I'm veering off the path? I thought aboout investing in a bar one time with a friend, but why would I really be doing that? To make money or be closer to the alcohol? A go-go bar was an even better idea we both had, but what was the motivation there? :naughty:

I know I have a compulsive personality - alcohol, food, drugs, sex, fishing, if it makes me feel good I want more. So in recovery a good self-analysis will lead you to conclusions you shouldn't be around things that could be a trigger for you. A friend managed to stop the drug and other behaviors in his life, but he was still drinkin. We got into a strong discssion about it. He said he wasn't an alcoholic, I asked him if that was tue, why did he keep getting in trouble when he was drinking? Another friend started making wine after many years of sobriety, and 6 months later was doing crack and living with junkies.

Everyone has to come to these realizations at their own pace. No one likes being told they have a problem, even by well-meaning friends, unless they are seeking help. My best answer to someone who is asking these kinds of questions is: If you know yourself, you will realize what things you can be doing, and things you have no business doing. All part of knowing and understanding ourselves. :thumbsup:


Famous 100-

4. BillW - Bill Wilson
William Griffith Wilson (26 November 1895 – 24 January 1971), also known as Bill Wilson or Bill W., was the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), a fellowship of self-help groups dedicated to helping alcoholics achieve sobriety. According to the AA Twelfth tradition of anonymity, Wilson was and still is commonly known as "Bill W." or just "Bill." He largely preferred this form of his name over the more formal non-AA version, thus this article will use that form.
Bill achieved sobriety in December 1934 and maintained it throughout his remaining 36 years. Despite the success and notoriety afforded him by the accomplishments and growth of AA under his leadership, he continued to suffer from compulsive behavior and episodes of depression. In 1955 Bill turned over control of AA to a board of trustees. In the years before his death he changed the makeup of the board, which was initially composed of a non-alcoholic majority, to trustees who were both recovered alcoholics and non-alcoholics, with the majority being recovered alcoholics. In keeping with his interest in spirituality, he experimented with other possible cures for alcoholism. These experiments included niacin (vitamin B3) and parapsychology as a means of inducing spiritual change.[1] Bill died of emphysema complicated by pneumonia in 1971. His wife, Lois Wilson, was the founder of Al-Anon, a group dedicated to helping the friends and relatives of alcoholics. In 1999 Time Magazine declared Bill to be in the top 20 of the Time 100: Heroes and Icons who exemplified "courage, selflessness, exuberance, superhuman ability and amazing grace" in the 20th century.
http://www.answers.com/topic/bill-w



I thank BillW for all the work he he did. It paved the way for all the tortured souls looking for answers and sobriety. :clapping:

January 30, 2009

Release

A belief in the basic spirituality of life has grown
and with it belief in a supreme and guiding power for good.
In the process of this change I can recognize
two immensely significant steps for me.
The first step I took when I admitted to myself for the first time
that all my previous thinking might be wrong.
The second step came when I first consciously wished to believe.
As a result of this experience I am convinced that to seek is to find,
to ask is to be given.
The day never passes that I do not silently cry out in thankfulness,
not merely for my release from alcohol,
but even more for a change that has given life new meaning, dignity, and beauty.


Thought to Ponder....

When I change what I believe, I change what I do.






Amen to that. We tend to lose sight of the gift that sobriety is when things are running smoothly. I'm grateful that my life has new meaning, beauty, and dignity. I try to think of that gratitude daily, and express it by passing it on.

January 31, 2009

No Reservation

Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch,
we could thereafter drink normally. . .
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again:
"Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."
Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety,
we are in a short time as bad as ever.
If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind,
nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.

Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], Page 33.

Thought to Ponder....

If we want to quit drinking, we are going to have to quit drinking





I've seen this happen first hand, seen people with years of sobriety go out into light use by social drinking, and within a short thim they are back at their drug of choice, and in bad shape. Watched it happen over and over with different people. It may sound a little cruel, but recovery teaches us to look closely when this happens, and say, well that could have been me. That person was a lesson to me.

It also teaches us compassion, because "there but for the grace of God go I".

When I first got sober, smoking pot was one of the favorite things I had to give up. Not only smoking it, but touching it smelling it, and trying to figure out where it was grown. I became pretty good at this, and it was kinda like a game for me. Someone I know would have a bag of pot, I would stick my nose in it, and say -yah this probably came from ________. I would savor the aroma like a fine wine. :laugh:

I convinced myslf that I would quit drinking and harder drugs. but I would go back to smoking pot after 6 months. Quitting for 6 months would be the sign I was "cured" because I was never able to quit everything cold turkey before.

So I made this pact with myself. Gradually, as I accumulated sober time, I realized that smoking pot would lead to worse problems for me, I began to feel some pride in the sobriety I had and the fact I was turning my life around. I didn't make that first step to smoke pot again, I didn't pick up, and I haven't.

The little rationalization in my head telling me it was ok eventually went away too. That's why our addictions are cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's the only disease that tells you you don't have one. Denial is a big obstacle to sobriety, unless you're willing to surrender completely. http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif

February 1, 2009

Going to Any Length

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like,
what happened, and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have
and are willing to go to any length to get it
-- then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked.
We thought we could find an easier, softer way.
But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas
and the result was nil until we let go absolutely
Remember that we deal with alcohol -- cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without help it is too much for us.


Thought to Ponder....

Life didn't end when I got sober -- it started




That's great, I was just talkin about cunning baffling and powerful, yesterday, and here it is today. Life does get better, for anyone who is wondering. You will go through some rough patches, we all do, but it's a hell of a lot better to go through it sober.

February 2, 2009

An Answer

If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic, or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all, and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when getting another drink.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], Page 193.


Thought to Ponder....

Joy is in knowing there is an answer.




It's been said about alcoholics that we are creative, resourceful, intelligent people who are able to think outside the box. The only problem is that alcohol got in the way. Remove that alcohol or substance we were abusing, and the possibilities are limitless. :thumbsup:



Famous people list
#5 Tim Allen, Home Improvement- had a coke problem, went to jail for distribution, got sober, came out and started a career path to fame and fortune. :clapping:

that's encouraging - thanks, dark.

A friend is dying in the last stages of diabetes and kidney failure. We went to see him in the hospital tonight. They chopped of 2 of his fingers on each hand, 2 toes on each foot. Before we went in the room, the doctor said they're gonna need to chop off at least one of his hands, or a finger at a time. Gangrene in a couple of the fingers he has left, infection inside one of the hands.

This guy has no friends, or very few people left in his life who care about him, besides us. Sounds sad, but he has been a selfish SOB his whole life, 3 failed marriages, kids who don't even know or care that he's their Dad. Problems with drugs and alcohol, but never arrested or lost a job because of it.

Moved back in with his parents at 50, but they are in failing health, and can't even take care of themselves. Whenever I would go to visit them, I thought I was watching the "Raymond" show, only in this reality show all the actors are doing meth. :scared: Yelling and screaming at each other as a part of their daily lives, I stopped visiting because I always seemed to be the referee, got tired of that role.

Anyone would feel sorry for this guy and the dysfunctional family. How do you feel sorry for a guy who needs dialysis 3x/week, yet skips it because he doesn't feel like it? :beatin: Who drinks a quart of sugar soda every day in the morning because "the dialysis will balance it out". Who smokes like a fiend, further restricting his arteries and causing more gangrene?

Through it all, I always try to see the good in people. I worked a lot of plumbing jobs with him, he used to be a great plumber. Got the job done, knew all the tricks, and he was willing to teach me. I'm grateful for that.

He loves fishin and huntin, so we have that in common. He can talk about fishin for hours. He was talkin about goin again. I didn't have the heart to tell him he'll never to be able to hunt and fish again, I just let him go on and on about it.

So why feel sorry for this guy? He made his own bed, lived a selfish life, he kinda deserves what's happening now because he made his own choices.

The program teaches you about choices, and you're responsible for the ones you make. I have no control over his life, he wouldn't listen to any advice anyway.

I just feel bad seeing someone die, all alone. That's gotta be the worst feeling in the world, you're in the hospital, and no one even cares enough to visit. :( So I'll keep in touch with him, and try to visit and keep his spirits up. It's all downhill from here, and tough to watch.

I know this was a little long winded, sorry for the rant, I had to put it up somewhere and vent about it. Program talks about a lot of good stories, and there are many.

Sometimes life just sucks, and it ain't gettin any better. That's all.

February 3, 2009

Philosophy

For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I've ever read,
all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love.
I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love,
and there are only two sins:
the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being,
and the second is to interfere with one's own growth.



Thought to Ponder....

I cannot add to the peace and good will of the world
if I fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where I live and work.



As alcoholics, we interfere with our own personal growth time and time again. We sabotage almost every chance of success, it's what we do. Sobriety helps us to get out of that, start moving forward, and try to show others a better path by our examples of positive behavior.


Famous Recovering people:

6. I think Bruce Willis is a recovering alcoholic.