Originally Posted by
crosseyedbass
Then God Made New Jersey
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six
days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth
and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained,
pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land
mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's New Jersey, the most glorious place on
Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and mountains. The people from New Jersey are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What
about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouthed people I'm
putting next to them in New York."