thanks, guys. but it's all grace. no way could it be me.
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thanks, guys. but it's all grace. no way could it be me.
Hey jon, congratulations! The higher power is divine but don't under estimate yourself. It is your strength, and strong will for a better life that makes you succeed. Gods gives us the steps, it is up to us to climb the stairs!:kiss:
Thanks Katie.
In other news, I scored a small contract to redesign and SEO a Raleigh builder's website ( http://www.corbettcc.com/ )
Not much but it's something! I start today.
Thanks Katie!
What's more, is I worked on the site till around 11 am, then the owner asked me if I'd like to clean up one of his plans for him. (That's what I do; I'm an architectural designer.)
woo hoo! it's fun.
too bad it's only for a few days.
btw, when you go to http://www.corbettcc.com/ , that gray home that is on the home page? I designed that. It won a gold Star award a month ago. Unfortunately I wasn't with them at the time, so I didn't get recognized, but it's still cool.
Just some trivia. AA was founded on this date back in 1935 in Ohio.
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Jon the design is awesome, you have a true talent. I hope you get more chances ot put it to use...
Rich. :clapping:
June 11, 2009
Daily Reflections
FAMILY OBLIGATIONS
. . . a spiritual life which does not include . . . family
obligations may not be so perfect after all.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129
I can be doing great in the program--applying it at meetings,
at work, and in service activities--and find that things have
gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand,
but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress,
but they don't--unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs
and desire for my attention and concern? When I'm around them,
am I irritable or boring? Are my "amends" a mumbled "Sorry,"
or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I
preach to them, trying to reform or "fix" them? Have I ever
really cleaned house with them? "The spiritual life is not a
theory. We have to live it."
(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83).
This is a great lesson for alcoholics, fishermen, or any groups that spend a lot of time in pursuit of a single goal: If you neglect your family in the process, you may not have a family to come home to someday. (?...See the Darkside of surf fishing thread here for more into) http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.gif
And on the 10th Anniversary convention in 1945, 2500 people attended.
Man you are absolutely right, Im out of the loop and missed it, thanks for pointing that out. :thumbsup:
http://www.aahistory.com/
This is how I drew it:
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...Render28x6.jpg
(I just happen to be sitting at my old machine right now, cuz I'm working on the website, and could pull it up. Unfortunately they gave my old office to some fancy pants attorney. Here's me in my old office, a coupla years ago: )
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...soffice640.jpg
You do some incredible work jon!
Thanks, plug. Hopefully when the economy turns around I'll be able to get back into it. It's a fun and satisfying job, but unfortunately the construction industry takes the first hit in a downturn, and is the last to come back.
But like Rich says, it's not a problem that drinking can't make it worse.
I bet you all were wondering if and how this was ever going to get back on topic :D
June 12, 2009
Daily Reflections
FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS
But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends,
and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.
We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53
Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into my sober life! In my sobriety I will meditate and pray to discover how I may be a trusted friend and companion.
For me, I found the way to make friends is to be a friend. Take a sincere interest in the lives of others. If they mention something in which you have experience or knowledge, and they are lacking, tactfully try to help them. If you went someplace and met someone who knows them, put in a kind word or 2 for them.
We make and maintain frienships not only by the interactions we have with possible friends, but every time we meet someone else, and talk positively about them.
One of the best friendships I have made over the past few years is with a guy who is like the pope of the fishin world. This guy knows everybody, yet people don't realize the significance of who he is because he blends in everywhere, with all types of people.
In conversations I've had with him, whenever another person's name comes up, he always has a positive thng or 2 to say about the person being referred to. He can remember small details about them that few people would bother taking the time to remember.
Even with the most notorious fishermen out there, he may honestly say something critical of them, because he's an honest guy. But he will never bad-mouth, slam, or try to ruin the rep of a fellow fisherman, because he doesn't roll that way.
He's a great conversationalist, asking you about not only how ya did fishin, but what's goin on in your life, and participating in the conversation with details he remembers from previous conversations. He's a true friend, I've learned a lot from the way he interacts with others. I'm glad we accidentally came to know each other. :thumbsup:
^^^^^
the awesome people in this world are the ones that are genuinely interested in other people.
hey Rich, thanks for being genuinely interested in me. It really means a lot to me.
jon
Hey Guys, back in the fray after a short sabbatical. Still sober, by the grace of God and plenty busy with the good stuff of life. A couple of things:Rich, thanks for the PM's. I'll call to schedule some fishing. Jon, congrads on your 5th anniversary. Something about that number is good. :thumbsup: My condolences on your job loss. I'll send a PM.
Hope you are all doing well. One day at a time. i remember when it was one minute at a time.....
"Anyone else can hijack and put their comments in here too.:thumbsup:
Commenting in a thread like this one doesn't make anyone an alcoholic, possible alcoholic, or closet alcoholic. I invite ALL members to jump in anytime ya want, say whatever ya want, no judgement. :HappyWave:
We won't bite, I promise. "
I had an uncle who drank. He was an embarassment to our family. He seemed like a decent guy, I don't remember it all, but alcohol kept getting in his way, so there was a lot of bad feelings about him. He's dead now. I don't know how this AA stuff works for you guys, but it seems to do something. jonthepain I am sorry to hear you lost your job. This is a bad economy it is no sin to lose one's job. Lots of folks are getting laid off. I hope you find one soon. I will say a prayer that you find one, good luck.
Thanks for your comments, cowherder. It was nice of you to share that with us. :thumbsup:
June 13, 2009
Daily Reflections
LIVING OUR AMENDS
"Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any
wife or child neurotic. The entire family is to some extent,
ill."
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 122
It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not
only hurt myself, but also those around me. Making amends to
my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering,
will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created
and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong
endeavor. The example of my sobriety may give others hope,
and faith to help themselves.
This is interesting to me because I still have people in my family who are messed up, angry, and won't admit anything is wrong with their behavior. Last night I had a dream that I tried to get these people to work together on something so we could do something nice for someone. In my dream, even though I made amends first, it turned out to be a disaster. That tells me that we don't always get what we want, and trying too hard sometimes doesn't solve the problem, no matter how badly we want to resolve things.
Also, we make amends to resolve things from the past, but chiefly because it's the right thing to do. Whatever happens after that is up to God. :learn:
If we get a chance to fish together this year, I'm buyin! :plastered:
(Mountain Dew and diet Coke or Dr Pepper, all ya can drink!) :HappyWave:
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
We in A.A. have the privilege of living two lives in one
lifetime. One life of drunkenness, failure, and defeat. Then,
through A.A., another life of sobriety, peace of mind, and
usefulness. We who have recovered our sobriety are modern
miracles. And we're living on borrowed time. Some of us might
have been dead long ago. But we have been given another chance
to live. Do I owe a debt of gratitude to A.A. that I can never
repay as long as I live?
Meditation For The Day
Thinking about God in love and worship drives away evil. It is
the thought before that the hosts of evil flee. The thought of
a Power greater than yourself is the call for a life-line to
rescue you from temptation. The thought of God banishes
loneliness and dispels gloom. It summons help to conquer your
faults. Think of God as often as possible. Use the thought
prayerfully and purposefully. It will carry your thoughts away
from material things and toward the spiritual things that make
life worthwhile.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may think of God often. I pray that I may rest in
peace at the thought of His love and care.
that explains a lot :HappyWave:
In case you were wondering what I've been working on lately:
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...ndexdraft1.jpg
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...ndexdraft2.jpg
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...pain/seoby.jpg
Beautiful work, Jon. :clapping::clapping: Pages looks welll-designed and easy to follow. The green is a subtle draw, maybe indicating that they're involved in green construstion, or was that color chosen randomly? So these are the people you worked for originally before the last job?
Thanks, Rich. Yes very much conscious decision to 'go green.' subliminal? let's hope.
these are indeed the people i worked with a year or two ago, for 3 years. a lot of the award winning designs on the website are from my era.
it's fun working for them again, even if temporarily. good folks.
here's their current website:
http://www.corbettcc.com/
thanks Rich. I have another iron in the fire, too. Not a job but a business.
I'll let you know how it works out.
Quotes for Father's Day, Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there. My Dad is dead, he died last year. He was a tough SOB, very stingy with the praise, very very cheap, and being argumentative was a daily source of pride to him.
Yet he inspired me to always try harder, if I wanted even a sentence of praise, things had to be almost perfect. :kooky:
And he did have a good heart, he loved his sons, just didn't like to show it a lot. :clapping::thumbsup:
I miss ya Dad, wish you could be here today to have one more Father's Day. I'll see ya again one day, until then try not to argue too much with God. :HappyWave: :kiss:
• "I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well." -- Alexander the Great
• "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." -- Bill Cosby
• "I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week." -- Mario Cuomo
• "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example." -- Mario Cuomo
"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be."
-- Unknown
• "A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma." -- Marlene Dietrich
• "Lucky that man whose children make his happiness in life and not his grief, the anguished disappointment of his hopes. " -- Euripedes
• "My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.' " -- Jim Fox
• "You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He's more particular." -- Robert Frost
• "Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes
• "Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers - and fathering is a very important stage in their development." -- David M. Gottesman
• "One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." -- George Herbert
• "If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son, then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a great deal of time." -- Russell Hoban
• "For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers." -- Homer
• "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, you've had a great life." -- Elbert Hubbard
• "My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." -- Clarence Budington Kelland
• "My father told me that all businessmen were sons-of-*******, but I never believed him until now." -- John F. Kennedy
• "My father said, 'Politics asks the question: Is it expedient? Vanity asks: Is it popular? But conscience asks: Is it right?'" -- Dexter Scott King
• "The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find Someone chock full of qualms and romantic terrors, Believing change is a threat Like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle It took such months to get." -- Phyllis McGinley
• "My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it." -- Abraham Lincoln
• "A wise son maketh a glad father." -- Proverbs 10:1
• "None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a Father who has not his equal in this world - so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don't be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal." -- Queen Victoria of England
"My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance." -- Ruth E. Renkel
• "Father taught us that opportunity and responsibility go hand in hand. I think we all act on that principle; on the basic human impulse that makes a man want to make the best of what's in him and what's been given him." -- Laurence Rockefeller
• "That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all." -- J. August Strindberg
• "An angry father is most cruel towards himself." -- Publilius Syrus
• "I just owe almost everything to my father [and] it's passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election." -- Margaret Thatcher
• "A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh." -- The Holy Bible
• "It's only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home—it's only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love." -- Margaret Truman
• "A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season". -- Unknown
• "A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty." -- Unknown
• "Small boy's definition of Father's Day: It's just like Mother's Day only you don't spend so much." -- Unknown
• "A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be." -- Unknown
• "For thousands of years, father and son have stretched wistful hands across the canyon of time, each eager to help the other to his side, but neither quite able to desert the loyalties of his contemporaries. The relationship is always changing and hence always fragile; nothing endures except the sense of difference." -- Alan Valentine
• "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." -- Charles Wadsworth
Sorry about your dad, Rich. I still miss my dad and he died in 1986. He was a helluva guy. Not real talkative, so like you say, you knew that praise from him was well earned.
born in 1919.
Today my sons came down from Raleigh and we chilled together. Great day just seeing them.
In other news, I was leaving Lowe's Foods today with a sixpack, and a big pickup truck kinda cruised by me real slow. A couple of guys jumped out, and it was one of my very best friends Burney (that I rarely see anymore) and his best buddy. They said that they busted me cleanly, and if it hadn't been St. Pauli Girl NA they would have taken it from me.
We had a great reunion in the parking lot in front of my old bar. I told them that I just had my 5th anniversary on June 1. And that the last time I had a drink was with my buddy Burney on Memorial Day 5 yrs ago. He remembered it well; we split a 1/2 case of Bud at 10am sitting on our friends back deck, waiting for him to wake up. Then the party started. I hit every gas station on the way home (30 miles) for a fresh 24.
They were happy that I went out in a 'blaze of glory', and didn't simply peter out.
Then they went into the bar, and I split for home and family.
It struck me that I am blessed to have people looking out for me. They might not have actually taken my beer from me, but it really touched me that they said that. I'm sure they would have given me hell tho.
I had a great father's day. In a little bit I'll collect 'dessert.'
:naughty:
see ya
jon
Acceptance is a hard one for me. I just have to remember that the world does not revolve around me and that I cannot drink unease away.
Hey Mick how ya been? :HappyWave: Hope you had a good Father's Day.
June 23, 2009
Daily Reflections
TRUSTING OTHERS
But does trust require that we be blind to other people's motives or, indeed, to our own?
Not at all; this would be folly. Most certainly, we should assess the capacity for harm as well as the capability for good in every person that we would trust.
Such a private inventory can reveal the degree of confidence we should extend in any given situation.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 144
I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful.
I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am,honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful.
Some good words here. :thumbsup:
"let myself"...aint that the truthQuote:
I pray that I may not let myself become too upset.
sometimes even tho i know that, i still let myself. need to work on the self control thing i guess.
btw, off topic, in the office i'm in, a coupla times a day the office upstairs has elephants stomp around up there. the pictures on the wall shake and everything. very distracting.
i asked the office manager wth is going on up there but she don't know and apparently it doesn't bother her.
well just now i went out to my car to pop some aspirin, and i noticed a guy with three ankle biters take the stairs up there. i don't think anything of it. i look at the sign on the door "so and so mental health pa or whatever."
so now i got elephants again. i feel sorry for the kids. maybe nurse ratchett got a hold of them.
Better to hear the elephants than to "see" them, my friend. ;)
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
One of the most encouraging facts of life is that your weakness can become your greatest asset. Kites and airplanes rise against the wind.
In climbing up a high mountain, we need the stony crags and rough places to aid us in our climb. So your weakness can become an asset if you will face it, examine it, and trace it to its origin.
Set it in the very center of your mind. No weakness, such as drinking, ever turned into an asset until it was first fairly faced. Am I making my weakness my greatest asset?
Food for thought.
June 26, 2009
Daily Reflections
A GIFT THAT GROWS WITH TIME
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry.
It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 151
The longer I chased these elusive feelings with alcohol, the more out of reach they were. However, by applying this passage to my sobriety, I found that it described the magnificent new life made available to me by the A.A. program. It "truly does get better" one day at a time.
The warmth, the love and the joy so simply expressed in these words grow in breadth and depth each time I read it. Sobriety is a gift that grows with time.
Well-said. Sometimes we have to be sober awhile to appreciate the benefit. And sobriety also has it's ups and downs. People faced with tragic circumstances in their lives might say "What's the use? I don't see how sobriety is any better if I'm gonna have so many obstacles. "
Well, consider the alternative....:learn:
Being an alcoholic in recovery seems to run in stages. WhenI first got sober, i wanted to evangelize my drinking friends. As in most things, a positive example and letting people come to me seems to be a better approach.
Hi Jon, I hope all is well. I missed wishing you a happy 5th anniversary. I just want to say, we don't get any more than we can handle from our Father.
One thing I realize, being in recovery, is that all of life's situations are tests for us. How we are spiritually, determines how we handle these situation's.
At one time I would moan and groan at all of the hardships. Today, I welcome them, because I know that it s all part of an ultimate plan for us, the big pig picture.
Rich, God bless you my friend, and your diligence is a gift and true blessing.:)
Jimmy, it's amazing how you wrote that today. There are some serious health problems with my darling sister, who is currently in the hopsital. When we were talking to a pastor today who prayed with us, the pastor said "God does not give us more than we can handle."
Your statement has given me some hope, for it rings true in every problem.
You always seem to know the most comforting words to say Jimmy. :thumbsup:
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Alcoholics are unable or unwilling, during their addiction
to alcohol, to live in the present. The result is that they
live in a constant state of remorse and fear because of
their unholy past and its morbid attraction, or the uncertain
future and its vague foreboding. So the only real hope for
the alcoholic is to face the present. Now is the time. Now is
ours. The past is beyond recall. The future is as uncertain
as life itself. Only the now belongs to us. Am I living in
the now?
Meditation For The Day
I must forget the past as much as possible. The past is over
and gone forever. Nothing can be done about the past, except
to make what restitution I can. I must not carry the burden of
my past failures. I must go on in faith. The clouds will clear
and the way will lighten. The path will become less stony with
every forward step I take. God has no reproach for anything
that He has healed. I can be made whole and free, even though
I have wrecked my life in the past. Remember the saying:
"Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more."
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may not carry the burden of the past. I pray that
I may cast it off and press on in faith.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
Imaginary Perfection, p. 181
When we early A.A.'s got our first glimmer of how spiritually prideful we could be, we
coined this expression: "Don't try to be a saint by Thursday!"
That oldtime admonition may look like another of those handy alibis that can excuse us
from trying for our best. Yet a closer view reveals just the contrary. This is our A.A. way
of warning against pride-blindness, and the imaginary perfections that we do not possess.
Thanks Rich, as well as you, my friend.:)
Years ago I worked in a farm job over the summer. There was an old guy there who worked from sun up to sundown, never said much but got an amazing amount of work done. One morning I was standing at the edge of a long beet field that seemed to stretch for miles. Old boy says to me, "Never look down the whole row. Look at the plant directly in front of you and give it the care it needs." He was talking about beets but I never forgot that lesson.
The other part of being a drunk in recovery is the past. Man, do I have a tendency to look back. Part of it is shame but I have to turn my friend's advice on its head. Look back at the row and remember but don't live there. Life is so much better now. And I survived. There is nothing that will happen to me today that is out of God's will. I take some comfort in that.