Political humor: Political jokes, satire, political photoshops, bumper stickers, etc
Man this forum can get boring, at least to me. While I enjoy spirited political discussions, at times there is too much tension and preaching by one side or the other. :argue:
To try to break that up a bit, feel free to put any political humor, bumper stickers, political photoshops, etc, in this thread.
Please try to edit out any obscenities if you can, and use common sense so I don't have to get involved editing posts.
And please remember to have some class. We can't have racist or other low-class jokes or pics in here. I'm trying to start this thread to show people that both sides deserve to be poked fun at now and then. :thumbsup:
04-15-2010, 08:30 AM
DarkSkies
Pelosi and the Pope
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
The Pope and Pelosi
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So......................................... the Pope backhanded the *****.
04-18-2010, 08:21 AM
DarkSkies
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
PSALM 2010
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
'In case you missed his sterling performance on Sat. Night Live, Robert DeNiro's performance was sent to me as I had never seen it of course, and I thought you all deserved a look and a listen if you hadn't seen it before. If they understood what was being said, I imagine the American-Arab organizations were having apoplexy. Aren't they lucky that they live in a country where words are pretty much the worse things they'll get tossed at them, and those in jest! Not like what the rest of the world is experiencing at the hands of their "brothers." '
04-27-2010, 08:36 AM
DarkSkies
Economics 101: You cannot create wealth by dividing it
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
Professor of Economics 101 This teacher is a Real Genius!
http://cdn.mqstatic.com/files/gunslo...ages/67703.jpg
As the late Adrian Rogers said, "you cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before,
but had recently failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D!
No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)
As you may already know, it is a sin for Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time,all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America !
05-11-2010, 02:16 PM
fishinmission78
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSkies
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
God bless America !
If this ever could happen in reality I would take a day off from work to see it. They should put anyone suspected of having Muslim Terrorist ties in internment camps. Nothing wrong with having more than one Guantanamo.:thumbsup:
05-15-2010, 08:43 AM
surfstix1963
Think about it would you really want to see any Muslim woman naked if I were Muslim I wouldn't want to see my wife naked all hairy and smelly no thank you.
05-15-2010, 09:17 AM
rip316
Dark, where do you come up with this stuff.
05-15-2010, 09:39 AM
fishinmission78
Quote:
Originally Posted by surfstix1963
Think about it would you really want to see any Muslim woman naked if I were Muslim I wouldn't want to see my wife naked all hairy and smelly no thank you.
They should lock up all the Muslims in this country, first see if they have any ties to terrorists, and only release the ones who don't. The rest should be tortured like they torture the American POWs.
07-16-2010, 11:58 AM
DarkSkies
Political cartoons from around the word
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
Political Cartoons from around the world
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áHere are the best cartoons I've seenáin a while.á Except for the intentional pun it is almost factuall!
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill Attachment 11737
This is so good !!!
Hwy 59 at Hwy 43 - across from Marshall High School
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sign at Hutchinson, KS, 35 miles SE of Wichita
Obama's honeymoon is over !!
Would love to know the Patriot who paid for this sign!
W O W !!!
I wonder how long this will be allowed to stand? Sign POSTED on Hwy 61,Hutchinson, Kansas
These holes are not only amazing, but some of them are really terrifying -especially #8
1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq...ZcnHyFaZrDzu1o
Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world,
this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds
before being closed in 1914.
The amount of earth removed by workers is estimated to
total 22.5 million tons.
2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California
A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and
water needs to be drained from the reservoir.
This is the 'Glory Hole' at Monticello dam,
and it's the largest in the world of this type
of spillway, its size enabling it to consume
14,400 cubic feet of water every second http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq...O-T6lQgmp_haaM
The hole can be seen at the top left of the photo above.
If you were to jump in for some reason, your body would
shoot out near the bottom of the dam There is
one person known to have had this experience. She did
not live to tell of it.
3. Bingham Canyon Mine, Utah http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq...20TZ_XpPHzrM54
This is supposedly the largest man-made
excavation on earth. Extraction began in 1863
and still continues today, the pit increasing in
size constantly. In its current state the hole
is ¾ miles deep and 2.5 miles wide.
This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a
blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize.
There are numerous blue holes around the world,
but none as stunning as this one.
5. Mirny Diamond Mine, Serbia http://byfiles.storage.live.com/y1pq...Ifk8a_kcWQTZ5g
I'm pretty sure most people have seen this one.
It's an absolute beast and holds the title of largest
open diamond mines in the world. At 525 meters
deep, with a top diameter of 1200 meters, there's
even a no-fly zone above the hole due to a few
helicopters having been sucked in.
This incredible mine can be found 300km
northeast of Yellowknife in Canada.
The mine is so huge and the area so remote
that it has its own airport with a runway large
enough to accommodate a Boeing 737.
It looks equally cool when the surrounding
water is frozen.
7. Sinkhole in Guatemala
A sinkhole is caused when water,
usually rainwater or sewage, is
soaked up by the earth on a large
scale, resulting in the ground
collapsing the surface.
photos are of a sinkhole that occurred
early this year in Guatemala. The hole swallowed
a dozen homes and killed at least 3 people.
This is the famous 'Rat Hole' that you have heard about.
It is capable of swallowing trillions and trillions of U.S. dollars ... Annually! Never to be heard from again. It makesme tremble & shiver!
08-07-2010, 01:22 PM
DarkSkies
2 Attachment(s)
Pelosium
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
Discovery Announcement ~ The densest element in the known Universe has been found! Attachment 11844
Pelosium: �A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. �Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. �This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
THIS IS THE REASON THIS "LADY" HAS GOT TO BE KICKED OUT OF THE CONGRESS. KEEP THIS MOVING SO THAT MILLIONS WILL KNOW. THERE IS STRENGTH IN "PEOPLE POWER".
REMINDER, IN CASE YOU FORGOT, OR DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW:
The Queen's Jet (I will pass this on every time I receive it!)
This is QUEEN PELOSI'S NEW JET!!! And the Democrats talk about Sarah's dresses???
Queen Pelosi wasn't happy with the small USAFC-20B jet, Gulf Stream III that comes with the Speaker's job ... OH NO! Queen Pelosi was aggravated that this little jet had to stop to refuel, so she ordered a Big Fat, 200-seat, USAF C-32, Boeing 757 jet that could get her back to California without stopping! I understand that a former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, flew commercial most of the time.
Many, many legislators walked by and grinned with glee as Joe informed every one of what Queen Nancy's Big Fat Jet costs us, the hard working American tax payers, literally thousands of gallons of fuel every week.
Since she only works 3 days a week, this gas guzzling jet gets fueled and she flies home to California every Friday and returns every Monday, at a cost to the taxpayers (YOU and ME are those taxpayers!) of about $60,000, one way! As Joe put it ...."Unfortunately we have to pay to bring her back on Monday night and that costs us another $60,000!" Taxpayers, that is $480,000 per month and that is an annual cost to us of$5,760,000!!!
No wonder she complains about the cost of this war ... It might cramp her style that she is styling on my back and yours. I think of the military families in this country doing without and this woman, who heads up the most corrupt Congress in the history of our country, keeps fueling that jet while doing nothing.
Queen Pelosi wants you and me to conserve our carbon footprint. She wants us to buy smaller cars and Obama wants us to get a bicycle pump and air up our tires. Who do these people think they are??? Their motto is ...Don't do as I do ... JUST DO AS I SAY!
This is outrageous, forward it to all those on your email list! Keep in mind the figures above do NOT include the cost of plane or crew...just the fuel!!! One has to wonder what the total package costs us?
�And on top of that ... Now she wants to tax our IRA's & 401K's! I know where I would like to put my footprint!
A Washington DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' the USA is
in trouble!
1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)
2.I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts .''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod
is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o
explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5.An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and
we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the
plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was
dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno ,
Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked,
''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright
(D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to
get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh,
no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told
her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman ( John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''
I was at a loss for words.. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal..''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
And this is my personal experience (one of many) of why education is the way it is: When I was a High School Principal
I enagaged a new teacher with a MA from Columbia University in conversation. She was a history major. I asked her about WW2 in the Pacific. The response: The United States dropped an atomic bomb on Japan, so they had to defend themselves by attacking Pearl Harbor.
Now you know why education is in trouble!
09-04-2010, 09:30 AM
DarkSkies
Mosque at Ground Zero, why not?
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
I am appalled that so many of my friends are against the mosque near Ground Zero. We should allow it in order to promote tolerance.
I propose that a gay nightclub be opened next door to the mosque to promote tolerance in the mosque. We could call it "The Turban Cowboy" or "You Mecca Me Hot".
Next door could be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and across the street a very daring lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret”.
A friend of mine just started a business making land mines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the Roof!!!
09-09-2010, 09:37 AM
DarkSkies
Jesus and the Democrat
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT
A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for acup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, " Don 't touch me ... I'm collecting disability!"
09-09-2010, 01:31 PM
jigfreak
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSkies
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
A friend of mine just started a business making land mines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the Roof!!!
The Muslim clerics are a bunch of fanatics anyway. While some of them may be ok, ask yourself how many of them were investigated for terrorist connections or bombing connections. Truth is stranger than fiction.
09-28-2010, 08:51 AM
DarkSkies
1 Attachment(s)
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
Subject: Do you think this guy's fed up?
Just thinkin,,,,,, The guy or girl who owns this truck may not be an Obama Fan!
:clapping::clapping::clapping:I'm surprised they gave him that license plate. Maybe he got it before they elected him Pres.
I would like to shake that guy's hand.
10-06-2010, 08:48 AM
DarkSkies
1 Attachment(s)
Obamacare
Sent in by OGB, thanks.
FW: Seen in Austin Texas I love Texas and this is priceless.
Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better.
11-01-2010, 10:41 AM
DarkSkies
The Movie Test
Sent in by Surfstix, thanks!
Fwd: The Movie Test
This worked for me!!
Have a great day!
Subject: FW: The Movie Test
I got mine right
Don't peek at the list. This is fun!!!
Just a very short, simple little math calculation you can do in your head. I was amazed at how this accurately identified my favorite movie.
The Movie Test
This is pretty amazing!
I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math!
Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.
This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most.
Movie Test:
Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie.
Movie List:
1. Gone With The Wind 2. E.T. 3. Beverly Hills Cop 4. Star Wars 5. Forrest Gump 6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly 7. Jaws 8. Grease 9. The Defeat of Obama in 2012 10. Casablanca 11. Jurassic Park 12. Shrek 13. Pirates of the Caribbean 14. Titanic 15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark 16. Home Alone 17. Mrs. Doubtfire 18. Toy Story
11-01-2010, 10:59 AM
jigfreak
Not just 2012. Remember the elections coming up. Vote the elite bums out of office, one by one.
11-02-2010, 05:52 PM
i bd fossil
IT MUST BE RIGGED!!!!!!
I keep coming up with my favorite movie
EVERY time.
#9
GOOD ONE.:HappyWave::HappyWave::HappyWave::HappyWave:
