Joke for you hunters

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog
out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any
ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice.

Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He saw only two ducks out
there."

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?"

Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back
he says, "I don't believe it! Where did you get that dog? There really are
only two ducks out there!"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want,
you can get one from him, too."

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend
Chester has. The breeder obliges, and Earl brings the dog home, and tells
it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick
in its mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.

Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a
fraud. I want my money back!"

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent
the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and
started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, he was trying to tell you that there are more
f----n' ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"
__________________

**** Cheney needs a dog like that!

Sent in by OGB, thanks.



Subject: Texas Hunting Law
A Coloradan and a Texan were hunting in the Texas Hill Country when an illegal alien runs across the field. The Texan takes careful aim, shoots, and kills him.

"You can't do that!" cried the Coloradan.

"No, no, it's legal here in Texas" replies the Texan.

Later that night the Coloradan goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door. Just then an illegal alien runs up, grabs the beer, and runs away. The Coloradan thinks "No problem" draws his pistol, shoots, and kills him. As he is getting his beer back, the police come and arrest him.

"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!" protests the Coloradan.

"Well yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."

All you have to do is shout out "free hospital" and they will come out of the woodwork. Now there is a bunch of college students rallying for benefits for illegal alien college students. Who do they think is going to pay for all of this?

Two hunters walk into a wooded area. One trips, firing his weapon into his companion, who falls to the ground. Panicked, the first hunter dials 911. The operator is a cool professional; "Okay sir, take it easy. Are you sure he's dead?" There is silence for a few moments followed by a loud BANG! The hunter gets back on the line. "He sure is! What do I do now?".