I start this thread with an example that is pretty extreme, so if you have a sensitive stomach, please don't read, and move on to another thread.......:)
Printable View
I start this thread with an example that is pretty extreme, so if you have a sensitive stomach, please don't read, and move on to another thread.......:)
Those of ya's who know me know I have been a prisoner to work lately....start early in the day, don't get done till late night........for the last 90 days I've felt like a prisoner....
I have tried to get out fishing no less than 10 times, and each time failed.....
It doesn't matter if the fish are there or not...I just need to be out there for my sanity.....I have been feeling very down....without that ability to wet a line in the salt....and maybe jump on a rock or two....it's in my blood, I need it........it feels like a piece of me dies inside when I can't get out there....
Also spending money like water...sometimes hundreds every day.....and having trouble sleeping at night worrying about the financial picture.....
So last night, feeling particularly down on myself, I found myself in Newark, on the way to Walmart after work at 12am.....
I passed by the train station. There was a homeless guy sitting on the ground, a wheelchair beside him.....
There's nothing unusual about that.....lots of homeless people in Newark...I see them all the time.....What made me stop and turn around was I asked myself why he wasn't in his wheelchair, and sitting on the ground instead.....:huh:
So I circled around, and passed by again....pulling up to him...
"Hey buddy how ya doing? Just wondered why you weren't sitting in your chair? Do you need some help getting back in?"
Him- "No man, I just needed some air...I'm ok, all good."
Me- "Just wondering why you're not in the shelter...If you want I can give you a ride there"
Him - "No I just got a lot of things on my mind right now. I don't want to stay there..I'm good, thanks for offering."
I noticed both of his feet had been cut off at the calves......often an extreme complication of diabetes, and a hard life......once they cut your feet off.....it's a slow downhill slide for many.....
I saw the bottoms of his stubs, as he was rubbing them..
He was a black man, about my age.....but living on the street had made him look much older...
As I looked at him....I was thinking about my circumstances...and a lot of us...and how close we could be to being homeless....if just a few things didn't go our way....it's not really that hard to imagine how any one of us could be a victim of circumstances...with a few bad obstacles mounting up before us....
So I got out of the car, slipped him some $$...he said thanks, and I intended to get back in the car and on my way.....
However, as I approached him I got whiff of a powerful stench...urine and feces.....it was really strong and everything about him reeked......
I thought of giving him a blanket I had in the trunk, but his blankets were actually better, though urine and feces soaked......
I realized, in the big picture, there was not much more that I could do, than give this guy some money to buy a meal, and move on....this is a cold harsh realization, but one that we must face, if we are to live our lives.....
Interfering in the lives of others, if they don't want help....is often met with resistance or hostility.....and that must be respected...
As I was eye to eye level with him, I could see that he wasn't drunk...or high....he was clear and lucid.....it seemed he definitely could have been the "victim of circumstances" I mentioned earlier....
With 2 feet cut off, his life must have been pretty tough....
And here I am, whining about my life, and feeling sorry for myself? :don't know why:
It was a needed dose of humility for me.....
To further that, I noticed the seat of his wheelchair was covered in diarrhea and urine.....the stench was so bad....I knew there was not much I could do....this guy needed a real bath.....and clothes laundered.....but there was no way he would consider that...he already told me he had no interest in the shelter....which I would have gladly brought him to........
I got some cleaning rags out of my trunk....brought them to the chair, and wiped the seat down....so he would not have to go back and sit in feces and urine.....
He at first resisted...."Man I don't NEED YOUR HELP! I can do it myself!"....so I knew it was pushing it a little ...did it quickly, and diplomatically told him I would be done in a flash, asked for his patience....
He ended up thanking me.....told me his name.......
I drove away really disappointed with myself, that I had let my petty problems, which had seemed large to me, ever-present for the last 90 days....get to me....and eff with my mood and outlook.....:beatin:.
I have a good education...many talents and skills....tremendous potential.....I've never doubted my abilities to succeed, and determination to not let the speed bumps of life get me down.....:thumbsup:
It gave me what I needed....a renewed sense of humility....and a resolve to keep trying, keep up the diligence...until I'm in a better place.......
Why do I tell this story on the day before Christmas?
Please, don't think highly of me for doing it...
I didn't type these words for the accolades from anyone......
But let's be honest here.....why DO we do these things?........
A survey quoted on NJ 101.5 yesterday said that New Jerseyans are doing less volunteer work, less helping needy causes than in the past.....
A good fishing friend and I were discussing this a few months ago, when he confided every year around Christmas he looks at one homeless person, and helps them out with a substantial amount of cash, without telling anyone.
When I remarked about what a good thing that was...he said...
"Rich, if you think about it.....we help these people to help them....but the primary reason is we want to feel good about ourselves....so our motives are selfish......me too!"
I thought about what he said.....
And have to agree......
We help, to help....
But the motivation to help, is one part of wanting to feel good about ourselves....as uncomfortable as that may seem to some......it does seem to ring true, if you're really honest about it......
So me helping him....was to feel good about me....my life.....and bring some sorely needed gratitude into my life...which admittedly is very selfish .
.
After that, I went to Walmart....there were hundreds of people there doing their Christmas shopping.......
The lines stretched deep, and some folks seemed stressed..so many people almost no room to walk in the store, and few shopping carts left......at 1-2 am in the morning....:kooky:
All for the goal of buying, buying, to get gifts for family and friends...
I thought about all this commercialism......
And what the original meaning of Christmas was.....http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...cons/icon3.png
Christ born, as a Savior for the Evil and Ugliness of Mankind.....
Born, only to be persecuted and ridiculed for his different beliefs and inflammatory teachings.......and killed because of it......
We, in Western Civilization, have translated Thanksgiving and Christmas to the biggest shopping days of the year.....
Buy, buy, buy.......while some kids unwrap presents at warp speed, and are bored 5 minutes later......
I don't have any answers here....
Only making observations.........
I bring it up here, and this story, to ask all the folks reading it...
if they might consider helping just one person, or more than one if you are able, this Holiday Season......
It can be any way you want....a simple act of kindness to someone who needs a helping hand or word of encouragement.....but IMO small acts of kindness can be like a virus, spreading goodwill wherever they are practiced....
Or, if you have any stories, that are sad, or uplifting, feel free to post them up.........
Looking for anything that could bring a little humanity, and kindness, back to what has become a giant Commercial buying spree........
Or any other thoughts, anything you might like to share.....
Trying to get back to the True Meaning of Christmas....
Thanks for reading..
and Happy Holidays to all.....:HappyWave:
That was a nice gesture. Christ washed the feet of his disciples. You are so right on that darkskies. I had lost touch with a friend from the Army. I received notice of his death. He had been living on the streets of Los Angeles. He had a 2nd mortgage due to health problems and fell behind. None of us can know what the future brings. Live each day as if it were your last. God Bless and Merry Christmas.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSkies
dude that is admirable but you gotta be careful. Watch out for the hep. I would prob not do that. At the very least would want to have gloves. Be safe. I agree with you about the holiday being about the $$. The wallyworld in ocean county has been insane for the last 3 days. Will be even worse when the after xmas specials start. Just got a circular in the mail. When I grew up there was some people that didn't even want the nativity scene to be included in the town square. Damn communists thats what it is. Or libs. Either way I agree we seem to have lost our way from the meaning of Christmas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSkies
Here is one that gives you hope and is a lesson at the same time.
The guy barked at the people who were wishing him a Merry Christmas, and was promptly thrown off the flight.:clapping:
https://www.yahoo.com/travel/plane-p...144235462.html
One of my favorites. The true meaning of Christmas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxNXtjGY_Us
No man is a failure who has friends. Life has it's ups and downs Rich. You're always welcome here, friend. Thanks for all you do.:HappyWave:
Love that movie dogfish. X2! A friend sent this to me, thought it was pretty inspiring. You would think that whenever a homeless person gets money he might spend it on booze. Not always true. Check this out. Merry Christmas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUBTAdI7zuY
I agree about the homeless. There was a guy "camping' in his trailer at Ponquogue one time. I thought he was just another fisherman and found out he lost his house because of a foreclosure due to medical bills. As said it could happen to any of us. Never look down on those less fortunate because you don't know if some unforseen path might take you there. Good thread and Merry Christmas folks. Best wishes for safety and happiness through the new year.
DS I would never touch a homeless dude that creeps the hell out of me. Good for you for being able to do it. I do think they are a misunderstood group. I mean who would want to study a group that smells like **** and crap. Scary s*** and I mean that. I do remember reading that a lot of homeless dudes are Vets. That says a lot about our VA and how they treat guys who have fought in the wars for us. Maybe they should give a little more money to Vet programs instead of Obama throwing tax dollars at opening the gates to Cuba. just my .02
The meaning of christmas should be about peace and goodwill towards men. I think if you want to still find that in America you may have to go to Nebraska. merry christmas everyone!
Good thread.
That is ridiculous opening unrestricted travel to cuba. That defeats the purpose of the blockade. Castro wins. sorry for the hijack
DS: I know you aren't looking for accolades but amazing "what Christmas is all about" story... good job.
Of course, you're figuring you might have been taken for a homeless guy, sleeping on rocks, or in other people's cars someday so... :D
Hope all here have a Happy New Year... and wishing that we all can get out and FISH! More importantly that you and your
family can be thankful for all God provided, and be content in whatever situation you find yourself in!
I found out last night that I will be a twice Granddad (aka Poppa) as my son in law, daughter with baby #1 gave us the good news!
I in bed last night reflecting on this thread of all things, and reflecting on my year (lack of fishing time) and thinking about
our family and the amazing grace and blessings we've experienced! Prior to going to bed I took the time to visit Samaritan's
purse dot org to give what I could...
While getting ready for daughter/SIL and GS to come over last night, my wife wrote out a note for a gift card to Bonefish grill:
"If you can't catch the fish, at least you can eat it"... and we both got a chuckle about my own fishing season in 2014,
how few fish I caught, the few times I was on them, lost GOOD fish. But she noted I really had a lack of time.
As I laid there, I reflecting and smiled... time. Yeah, but thought about all the amazing things that did happen last year.
Here's praying you all have a Happy New Year!
Thanks Rob and others....
I hope you all understand the connection I was trying to make there....that it could be any one of us...if we were handed a few bad breaks in life, one after the other......I know some end up homeless because of their life choices....and they are responsible for that......but it's easy for me to see how some things could turn our lives around in an instant.
Was at a party last night, we were talking about AC and the casino layoffs.....something like 6000 people? You know a % of those people are going to lose their houses. If you're in your 50's or 60's and get laid off it's tough to find something comparable....some of these people never knew it was coming......
In trying to keep with a positive theme for 2015.....
I thank you all for stopping by, and wish everyone (better) health, some peace, and possibly better opportunities for this year. :HappyWave:
Rob, I congratulate you on being a grandfather, and your new additions to family.....:thumbsup:
One of these days maybe we'll actually fish a night tide together......let me know.....
I was thinking about Christmas and found this thread. The day after Halloween all the stores were out putting the Christmas stuff and decorations. I realized that's the way it is but there are some movement out there. On the internet I read about a movement where people decided to stay home on Black Friday. It's not just about the buying and being a consumer jmo. To me the meaning of Christmas is spiritual. Have we lost that?