Rednecks in the mist

[stripercrazy]

Back in college, a girlfriend's family came from Kentucky We were getting serious, so I went to meet them. Some of the pics floating around lately reminded me.

[stripercrazy]

redneck tattoos

[cowherder]

redneck fisherman

Redneck Fish Story

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Arkansas recently with two ice chests full of water with 10 nice fish swimming around in them.

He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'Naw sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got no fishin' license. But you gotta understand something: these fish here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round in the lake for while. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into the ice chests here and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of baloney! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the game warden intently for a moment and then said, 'I swear it's the truth, Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works'

'O.K.,' said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden said, 'Well?'

'Well, what?' asked the redneck.

The warden asked, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH!' yelled the warden!

'What fish?' asked the redneck.

[captnemo]

redneck prom

[captnemo]

deer huntin

[dogfish]

redneck fisherman

Redneck Fish Story

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Arkansas recently with two ice chests full of water with 10 nice fish swimming around in them.

He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'Naw sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got no fishin' license. But you gotta understand something: these fish here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round in the lake for while. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into the ice chests here and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of baloney! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the game warden intently for a moment and then said, 'I swear it's the truth, Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works'

'O.K.,' said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden said, 'Well?'

'Well, what?' asked the redneck.

The warden asked, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH!' yelled the warden!

'What fish?' asked the redneck.

Us rednecks aint's too dumb, ya hear?

[dogfish]

door lock

[dogfish]

express commuter boat

[dogfish]

Long live the southern milfs!

[stormchaser]

Long live the southern milfs!

Not bad for a MILF, a bit chubby in the belly, but I'd do her in a dark room.

[stormchaser]

You have to admire the creativity that went into these.

[stripercrazy]

Great stuff here.
Fishing

[stripercrazy]

more

[stripercrazy]

swimmin hole

[stripercrazy]

pool

[stripercrazy]

mailbox

[stripercrazy]

table dance. Where's the guy collecting the cover charge?

[stripercrazy]

10 signs you might be a redneck

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this!"

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

[seamonkey]

Redneck Medical Terms
Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by

[bababooey]

10 signs you might be a redneck

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this!"

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

kinfolk joke

Two good ole boys were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer...
After a while the first guy says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak
over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you
was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched
his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even."