Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day." ~ Author Unknown
Senior Member
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day." ~ Author Unknown
OGB
Here you go
Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again
Senior Member
Awesome Fin. Whwn I saw you responded to this thread I knew it was going to be funny.
Member
"You do drugs danny?"
"Every day."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I don't know.... (sigh) I'm guna work in a lumber yard the rest of my life"
"Whats wrong with lumber yards, I own 3 of them?"
"I notice you dont spend too much time there"
"Not sure where they are"
"Ahhh"
-Epic dialogue between Ty Webb and Danny-
Senior Member
Originally Posted by finchaser
Administrator
"The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray" - Robert Burns
OGB
Here I sit broken hearted tried to s--t but only farted
Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again
Senior Member
Here I sit broken hearted tried to s--t but only fartedQuote of the week! Have you tried ex-lax?
"A fool and his money are soon parted"
Administrator
FW: Concentrate
The below was sent in by Finchaser, thanks!Here I sit broken hearted tried to s--t but only farted
Sometimes even Fin has moments of profound thought!
Subject: Fw: Concentrate
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but
merely opening your hands so you can receive more or something else better.
Concentrate on this sentence.
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not
protect you.
Senior Member
Good one!
Here's one I like -
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
Senior Member
I don't know if this is inspirational or not, but it was definitely funny.
Senior Member
Cardoc you sound like a crazy guy. I hope we can all hang out sometime but I don't want to end up buried in a shallow grave!
Here is a quote I like -
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step - confucious.
Administrator
Irish luck - more of a story than a phrase, but inspirational anyway.....
Sent in by Surfstix and Speedy, thanks!
Irish Luck
I want this back. It DOES work.
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.
There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.
'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'
'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.
'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.
'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.
'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.
What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name?
Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
It's National Friendship Week Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND.
Pass this on, and brighten some one's day.
AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH: You had better send this back!! Good Luck!
I hope it works...
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows your'e dead.
Administrator
Sent in by OGB, thanks!
Read quietly then send it back on its journey
To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend or family member:
LOSE ONE.
The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
Remember....
Hold on tight to the ones you love!
Administrator
Sent by Speedy, thanks!
Stones.....
TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT .
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND,
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'
THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'
THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT'
LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.
THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON,
AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY
TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THEN,
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.
SEND THIS TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET.
I JUST DID..
IF YOU DON'T
SEND IT TO ANYONE,
IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A
HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.
TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!
DO NOT VALUE THE MATERIALTHINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE KNOWN INYOUR LIFE!
LOVE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
Senior Member
DS someone should slap you in the face if ya keep posting stuff like this.Is this a fishing site or a PMS hormone fest?
We're born
We go to school.
We get laid a few times,.
We get married, have kids.
We stop getting laid.
we retire.
We die.
Add a few fish in between and there ya have it.
Senior Member
sorry dudes but thats total bs to me, if someone disses u like that, u shud choke the **** out of someone who despretely needs it, lol!
OGB
an old time favorite
Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again
Senior Member
That was great.
Senior Member
practice catch and release
Good one finchaser. They say the best form of birth control is wedding cake.
As one who has been married over 20 years I know that well.
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