The Dark Side of surf fishing

[DarkSkies]

Starting to fish more, I may be single by the end of the season.

Got divorced partially over it and truthfully don't miss her but still love bass fishing even after 50 years of it. Let's hope the new breed of tackle store hero's don't put an end to it again for the sake of a picture in the paper.

A friend called me the other day and said he is getting divorced. He fishes 5 days a week. I have not been out yet this season because I had some things going on in my family, and I had to put them first. This is a very telling thread, I'm grateful to dogfish for posting it here.

used to fish every single day, and golf on the weekends. eventually realized that my kids needed me.
and yes, the wife too.

there's no getting the time back. spend the time with them now, there will be plenty of time for fishing when they're gone. and maybe if you put the time in with them now, they might come back and fish with you now and then after they're gone.
i really miss the older ones. maybe if i'd loved on them more then, they'd be loving on me more now.

Years ago I used to fish daily; I couldn't understand my GF's annoyance, after all, I wasn't out at a bar drinking. It took awhile to dawn on me, after this relationship had ended, that what she really wanted was time with me. I justified my selfishness in a lot of ways but at the bottom line, it was all about me; everyone else could wait until I was done fishing.

We all have choices to make but I don't believe at the end of life we will really want to mark our days with remembering fish we caught. If you have a relationship that is in peril due to fishing, man up and take a look at how you let someone you love fall into second place to a fish. If the relationship is a bad one, end it but do it honestly. Going fishing to avoid taking that action is a cowards way out. If the relationship is one that you value it is time to put your priorities in order.

I think all of the above posts I quoted offer a lot of self-insight and should be revisited...thanks for them, people...

















Some casualties from 2011 2012....

1. A member of a popular surf fishing club is now divorced, his wife left him because of all the time he spent away from home fishing....

2. During this Winter fishing in NJ, I met a guy who was living in his camper to stay close to the fish...his numbers were fantastic...but someone else said the reason he's in that camper is because his wife divorced him, he got the camper, and she got the house....I'm really not sure where the truth lies in this one. I bring this up not to chastize or make fun of the guy...but to point out the possible risks of being out there all the time.....

3. Last week, I met and fished with another guy, who has been driving quite a distance, from out of state, to fish in NJ. Within a few minutes of talking to him, it became apparent he's a great fisherman, his numbers and stories (I know of the dates and times he referred to from also having great numbers those nights) are impressive, and his compulsion to fish puts him out there when most guys would feel it's not worth it....

Yet, within 5 minutes of meeting me, he was telling me that his wife left him because of his fishing....no matter, he said, he now has a girlfriend who doesn't mind....so he says...





These examples, together with the posts I cited, are telling examples of what happens when we let a love of fishing become an addiction....
Please understand, folks, that it's not up to me to judge these guys, I'm fishin, and whoever I run into becomes part of that experience...I feel the stories are vague enough that I can relate them here without potentially embarassing someone....

But they are all true....all true...

Many of the guys who have the highest numbers, have made extreme personal sacrifices, to get those numbers of fish....

And again, it's not my place to judge, as I also have those same addictive/Compulsive tendencies....