Senior Member
Very timely article. I have had at least 3 friends over the years get divorced because their fishing and hunting was causing them to neglect their families.
We all love this thing we do, but it's important to balance between the outdoors and family life.
Senior Member
I liked that article. If the fishing was as good every day as it was this morning I would be divorced and homeless, because I would never go to work or see my wife.
Senior Member
Great read. I know some guys that should definitely see this, I'll pass it along.
Administrator
OK yes, I did see myself when I read this. Sent it to a friend who fishes 200 days a year. He thought they wrote it about him.
Family and relationships are important too. The're like a garden, or an orchard. If you don't take care of them, those relationships will wither and die. Great article.
Senior Member
Some pretty deep stuff.
Senior Member
I have a friend who told me today he and his wife were entering a trial separation. He fishes 6 nights a week. Spot on article.
Senior Member
To quote Metallica: sad but true - great article.
Senior Member
Been there done that one divorce now I have a wife that fishes sometimes, I do my morning thing for a couple of hours when I get the chance and thengo home and fish the nights that she works.But still come November I put alot of time in and she is ok with that I take my 3 weeks vacation off then,and spend the other 2 weeks with her but she usually takes me to Montauk.
Senior Member
A wife who goes to Montauk with you? Sounds like a keeper. You're a lucky guy.Originally Posted by surfstix1963
Been there done that one divorce now I have a wife that fishes sometimes, I do my morning thing for a couple of hours when I get the chance and then
Administrator
^ Surfstix, I wonder if you realize how lucky you are. You have a good woman, hold on to her. Not many out there like that.
My girlfriend is very understanding and never hassles me about fishing, even though it's like another addiction for me. I am grateful we found each other. It's hard to get women to understand this thing we do, this thing salled surf fishing.
Administrator
I have a friend I sent this article to. He told me it disturbed him, because he saw himself in it.
Well, he was supposed to pass a test which was his entry into making $100k/yr, and now he has to study it again and re-take it. One of the reasons he didn't pass that test is he is addicted, like me,to fishing. He's one of the most fanatic fishermen I know. He has been at the right place at the right time so many times this year I'm a little jealous. He has scored record fish, but he puts in record time looking for them.
People talk about "Do you want to fish, or need to fish?" He, and I, need to fish. I don't know what I would do if I was in an accident, put in a wheelchair, and couldn't fish the surf.
The thing with me is if I have responsibility to finish something, I stick with it until it's done, and then go fishing. I have missed so many hot bites because I had things I was in the middle of finishing.
Yet the fish wait for no one. They don't care if you are busy or not, if you have family committments, they are there when they are there, anfd then they are gone.
I know that, and he lnows that, that's why he's in on so many great bites. His family comes first, but after that, priority is catching fish. I'm putting this up there because maybe someone else will see themselves as being this way. No judgements here, we all have to make our own choices.
However, my friend might come back to this thread one day, and read what I wrote. Dude, you could be the governor if you wanted to. Your potential is unlimited, So study up and pass that test, I'm hopin for the best.
Senior Member
I was with my friend Ray next to the Navy pier, on a horrible early winter day. We dug up some sand worms and caught a couple of shorts.
There had been some discussion about closing the beach there to fishing, so a newswoman showed up, and was interviewing the guys up and down the beach.
She asked us what could possibly get us out here on a windy, rainy weekday. Didn't we have jobs, or families to support?
I replied, yeah, not only that, but my wife is due to give birth to our daughter today! Ha ha ha! And I showed her the pager that the hospital had given us. (This is waaay before cell phones.) Forget that I lived at least 2 hrs away from where I was at the moment.
Luckily Jessica wasn't born till a couple of days later.
It never occurred to me how sad that is till I read the above article.
Senior Member
Some would say you're just a hardcore surf guy.I know what you mean, we get caught up in this at times.
Senior Member
That's why you never talk to those news people!
Administrator
Be Careful What You wish For.....
Starting to fish more, I may be single by the end of the season.used to fish every single day, and golf on the weekends. eventually realized that my kids needed me.
and yes, the wife too.
there's no getting the time back. spend the time with them now, there will be plenty of time for fishing when they're gone. and maybe if you put the time in with them now, they might come back and fish with you now and then after they're gone.
i really miss the older ones. maybe if i'd loved on them more then, they'd be loving on me more now.
I think all of the above posts I quoted offer a lot of self-insight and should be revisited...thanks for them, people...
Some casualties from 2011 2012....
1. A member of a popular surf fishing club is now divorced, his wife left him because of all the time he spent away from home fishing....
2. During this Winter fishing in NJ, I met a guy who was living in his camper to stay close to the fish...his numbers were fantastic...but someone else said the reason he's in that camper is because his wife divorced him, he got the camper, and she got the house....I'm really not sure where the truth lies in this one. I bring this up not to chastize or make fun of the guy...but to point out the possible risks of being out there all the time.....
3. Last week, I met and fished with another guy, who has been driving quite a distance, from out of state, to fish in NJ. Within a few minutes of talking to him, it became apparent he's a great fisherman, his numbers and stories (I know of the dates and times he referred to from also having great numbers those nights) are impressive, and his compulsion to fish puts him out there when most guys would feel it's not worth it....
Yet, within 5 minutes of meeting me, he was telling me that his wife left him because of his fishing....no matter, he said, he now has a girlfriend who doesn't mind....so he says...
These examples, together with the posts I cited, are telling examples of what happens when we let a love of fishing become an addiction....
Please understand, folks, that it's not up to me to judge these guys, I'm fishin, and whoever I run into becomes part of that experience...I feel the stories are vague enough that I can relate them here without potentially embarassing someone....
But they are all true....all true...
Many of the guys who have the highest numbers, have made extreme personal sacrifices, to get those numbers of fish....
And again, it's not my place to judge, as I also have those same addictive/Compulsive tendencies....
Senior Member
What he said. You can spend a crazy amount of time fishing, or waste it in other ways. I would rather be fishing.
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