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Thread: The Dark Side of surf fishing

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfstix1963 View Post
    Been there done that one divorce now I have a wife that fishes sometimes, I do my morning thing for a couple of hours when I get the chance and then go home and fish the nights that she works.But still come November I put alot of time in and she is ok with that I take my 3 weeks vacation off then,and spend the other 2 weeks with her but she usually takes me to Montauk.
    A wife who goes to Montauk with you? Sounds like a keeper. You're a lucky guy.

  2. #22
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    ^ Surfstix, I wonder if you realize how lucky you are. You have a good woman, hold on to her. Not many out there like that.

    My girlfriend is very understanding and never hassles me about fishing, even though it's like another addiction for me. I am grateful we found each other. It's hard to get women to understand this thing we do, this thing salled surf fishing.

  3. #23
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    I have a friend I sent this article to. He told me it disturbed him, because he saw himself in it.

    Well, he was supposed to pass a test which was his entry into making $100k/yr, and now he has to study it again and re-take it. One of the reasons he didn't pass that test is he is addicted, like me,to fishing. He's one of the most fanatic fishermen I know. He has been at the right place at the right time so many times this year I'm a little jealous. He has scored record fish, but he puts in record time looking for them.

    People talk about "Do you want to fish, or need to fish?" He, and I, need to fish. I don't know what I would do if I was in an accident, put in a wheelchair, and couldn't fish the surf.

    The thing with me is if I have responsibility to finish something, I stick with it until it's done, and then go fishing. I have missed so many hot bites because I had things I was in the middle of finishing.

    Yet the fish wait for no one. They don't care if you are busy or not, if you have family committments, they are there when they are there, anfd then they are gone.

    I know that, and he lnows that, that's why he's in on so many great bites. His family comes first, but after that, priority is catching fish. I'm putting this up there because maybe someone else will see themselves as being this way. No judgements here, we all have to make our own choices.

    However, my friend might come back to this thread one day, and read what I wrote. Dude, you could be the governor if you wanted to. Your potential is unlimited, So study up and pass that test, I'm hopin for the best.

  4. #24
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    Oh she is a keeper the most understanding woman I know I see my buddies wives and want to slash my throat.We started Montauk when we got married Honeymoon in Montauk surf fishing in the morning and then I take her diamond jigging for bass and blues.Now we go for the week every year just a little later now too many blues in Sept. we wait it out till November.I am a lucky kind of guy.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfstix1963 View Post
    Oh she is a keeper the most understanding woman I know I see my buddies wives and want to slash my throat.We started Montauk when we got married Honeymoon in Montauk surf fishing in the morning and then I take her diamond jigging for bass and blues.Now we go for the week every year just a little later now too many blues in Sept. we wait it out till November.I am a lucky kind of guy.

    Sometimes we don't know how lucky we are, honeymoon in Montauk how many women would be ok with that?

  6. #26
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    I was with my friend Ray next to the Navy pier, on a horrible early winter day. We dug up some sand worms and caught a couple of shorts.

    There had been some discussion about closing the beach there to fishing, so a newswoman showed up, and was interviewing the guys up and down the beach.

    She asked us what could possibly get us out here on a windy, rainy weekday. Didn't we have jobs, or families to support?

    I replied, yeah, not only that, but my wife is due to give birth to our daughter today! Ha ha ha! And I showed her the pager that the hospital had given us. (This is waaay before cell phones.) Forget that I lived at least 2 hrs away from where I was at the moment.

    Luckily Jessica wasn't born till a couple of days later.


    It never occurred to me how sad that is till I read the above article.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonthepain View Post
    I replied, yeah, not only that, but my wife is due to give birth to our daughter today! Ha ha ha! And I showed her the pager that the hospital had given us. (This is waaay before cell phones.)

    It never occurred to me how sad that is till I read the above article.

    Some would say you're just a hardcore surf guy. I know what you mean, we get caught up in this at times.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy z View Post
    I've read that before. I think awareness is the key. Awareness of an existing OCD. I know, I obsess. But I have priorities, today. And I value this life I have, and my family. As I like to to this thing we do, I know all too well, where the obsession can lead.
    Jimmyz, you make it sound almost acceptable. I like what you said about priorities. A buddy of mine fishes a lot. He also takes his kids as well, so that's good. He lost his wife over it, and can't see that's why she left him. I tried to tell him when it was happening, but he wouldn't listen. He says it doesn't bother him, and hides his loneliness by fishing all the time. When you tell someone something, they don't want to listen, what can you do?

  9. #29
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    Wow, you guys have some good articles here!

  10. #30
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    I fish 5 to 7 days a week. My wife doesn't get it. The heart pounding, and sweat dripping, and thrill of the catch.

    Maybe it is more of the fact that I don't get it. Family is more important than fishing. Sometimes she has to reel me in and demand that I go to the family functions.

    Fishing is truly an obsession with me.

  11. #31
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    Starting to fish more, I may be single by the end of the season.

  12. #32
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    Got divorced partially over it and truthfully don't miss her but still love bass fishing even after 50 years of it. Let's hope the new breed of tackle store hero's don't put an end to it again for the sake of a picture in the paper.

    Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again

  13. #33
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    A friend called me the other day and said he is getting divorced. He fishes 5 days a week. I have not been out yet this season because I had some things going on in my family, and I had to put them first. This is a very telling thread, I'm grateful to dogfish for posting it here.

  14. #34
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    used to fish every single day, and golf on the weekends. eventually realized that my kids needed me.

    and yes, the wife too.

    i've got two grown and gone and two teens at home. i really miss the older ones. wish i'd poured into them more, but you can't saw sawdust.

    there's no getting the time back. spend the time with them now, there will be plenty of time for fishing when they're gone. and maybe if you put the time in with them now, they might come back and fish with you now and then after they're gone.

    i really miss the older ones. maybe if i'd loved on them more then, they'd be loving on me more now.


  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by finchaser View Post
    Got divorced partially over it and truthfully don't miss her but still love bass fishing even after 50 years of it. Let's hope the new breed of tackle store hero's don't put an end to it again for the sake of a picture in the paper.
    Quote Originally Posted by jonthepain View Post
    there's no getting the time back. spend the time with them now, there will be plenty of time for fishing when they're gone. and maybe if you put the time in with them now, they might come back and fish with you now and then after they're gone.



    A freind of mind is getting divorced because he fishes and goes to AC too much. Some good points here guys.

  16. #36
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    Years ago I used to fish daily; I couldn't understand my GF's annoyance, after all, I wasn't out at a bar drinking. It took awhile to dawn on me, after this relationship had ended, that what she really wanted was time with me. I justified my selfishness in a lot of ways but at the bottom line, it was all about me; everyone else could wait until I was done fishing.

    We all have choices to make but I don't believe at the end of life we will really want to mark our days with remembering fish we caught. If you have a relationship that is in peril due to fishing, man up and take a look at how you let someone you love fall into second place to a fish. If the relationship is a bad one, end it but do it honestly. Going fishing to avoid taking that action is a cowards way out. If the relationship is one that you value it is time to put your priorities in order.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by mick2360 View Post
    If you have a relationship that is in peril due to fishing, man up and take a look at how you let someone you love fall into second place to a fish. If the relationship is a bad one, end it but do it honestly. Going fishing to avoid taking that action is a cowards way out. If the relationship is one that you value it is time to put your priorities in order.

    Words of wisdom here.

  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by albiealert View Post
    A friend called me the other day and said he is getting divorced. He fishes 5 days a week. I have not been out yet this season because I had some things going on in my family, and I had to put them first. This is a very telling thread, I'm grateful to dogfish for posting it here.
    I knw a guy who's getting divorced too, his wife says he hunts and fishes too much. I think this song sums it up for me

  19. #39
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    I have more trouble with my mother than my wife. Mom just doesn't understand the need for me to be out there pulling in the fish. Every Sunday she wants the family to go to church together then a big feast at her house afterwards.

    It's great to stay connected but sometimes I just want to go fish. Thank god for my wife who calms the lion down!

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonthepain View Post
    I was with my friend Ray next to the Navy pier, on a horrible early winter day. We dug up some sand worms and caught a couple of shorts.

    There had been some discussion about closing the beach there to fishing, so a newswoman showed up, and was interviewing the guys up and down the beach.

    She asked us what could possibly get us out here on a windy, rainy weekday. Didn't we have jobs, or families to support?

    That's why you never talk to those news people!

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