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Thread: The Dark Side of surf fishing

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by basshunter View Post
    I knw a guy who's getting divorced too, his wife says he hunts and fishes too much. I think this song sums it up for me
    Ha that's a great song!

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    I found last year more and more being pulled into the dark side. Work load has been on the heavy side with lots of stress. Home life not so great, fishing has been my only outlet.

  3. #43
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    some time u need to fish the dark side just to get away from the people and have a little peace i cant wait till it get nice and warm so i can sit out there and have a good time

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    Quote Originally Posted by gjb1969 View Post
    some time u need to fish the dark side just to get away from the people and have a little peace i cant wait till it get nice and warm so i can sit out there and have a good time
    Getting away from the rest of civilization is definitely a plus.

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    Default Be Careful What You wish For.....

    Quote Originally Posted by fishinmission78 View Post
    Starting to fish more, I may be single by the end of the season.
    Quote Originally Posted by finchaser View Post
    Got divorced partially over it and truthfully don't miss her but still love bass fishing even after 50 years of it. Let's hope the new breed of tackle store hero's don't put an end to it again for the sake of a picture in the paper.
    Quote Originally Posted by albiealert View Post
    A friend called me the other day and said he is getting divorced. He fishes 5 days a week. I have not been out yet this season because I had some things going on in my family, and I had to put them first. This is a very telling thread, I'm grateful to dogfish for posting it here.
    Quote Originally Posted by jonthepain View Post
    used to fish every single day, and golf on the weekends. eventually realized that my kids needed me.
    and yes, the wife too.

    there's no getting the time back. spend the time with them now, there will be plenty of time for fishing when they're gone. and maybe if you put the time in with them now, they might come back and fish with you now and then after they're gone.
    i really miss the older ones. maybe if i'd loved on them more then, they'd be loving on me more now.
    Quote Originally Posted by mick2360 View Post
    Years ago I used to fish daily; I couldn't understand my GF's annoyance, after all, I wasn't out at a bar drinking. It took awhile to dawn on me, after this relationship had ended, that what she really wanted was time with me. I justified my selfishness in a lot of ways but at the bottom line, it was all about me; everyone else could wait until I was done fishing.

    We all have choices to make but I don't believe at the end of life we will really want to mark our days with remembering fish we caught. If you have a relationship that is in peril due to fishing, man up and take a look at how you let someone you love fall into second place to a fish. If the relationship is a bad one, end it but do it honestly. Going fishing to avoid taking that action is a cowards way out. If the relationship is one that you value it is time to put your priorities in order.
    I think all of the above posts I quoted offer a lot of self-insight and should be revisited...thanks for them, people...

















    Some casualties from 2011 2012....

    1. A member of a popular surf fishing club is now divorced, his wife left him because of all the time he spent away from home fishing....

    2. During this Winter fishing in NJ, I met a guy who was living in his camper to stay close to the fish...his numbers were fantastic...but someone else said the reason he's in that camper is because his wife divorced him, he got the camper, and she got the house....I'm really not sure where the truth lies in this one. I bring this up not to chastize or make fun of the guy...but to point out the possible risks of being out there all the time.....

    3. Last week, I met and fished with another guy, who has been driving quite a distance, from out of state, to fish in NJ. Within a few minutes of talking to him, it became apparent he's a great fisherman, his numbers and stories (I know of the dates and times he referred to from also having great numbers those nights) are impressive, and his compulsion to fish puts him out there when most guys would feel it's not worth it....

    Yet, within 5 minutes of meeting me, he was telling me that his wife left him because of his fishing....no matter, he said, he now has a girlfriend who doesn't mind....so he says...





    These examples, together with the posts I cited, are telling examples of what happens when we let a love of fishing become an addiction....
    Please understand, folks, that it's not up to me to judge these guys, I'm fishin, and whoever I run into becomes part of that experience...I feel the stories are vague enough that I can relate them here without potentially embarassing someone....

    But they are all true....all true...

    Many of the guys who have the highest numbers, have made extreme personal sacrifices, to get those numbers of fish....

    And again, it's not my place to judge, as I also have those same addictive/Compulsive tendencies....

  6. #46
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    Hey guys this video nails it COLD! AWESOME!!!!


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    Default Re: Fishing reports: Turd Ferguson helps the new guys

    Last night, about 5 minutes before I was scheduled to make to move to somplace else, I caught and released a nice 16 lb bass on a big swimmer.
    The excitement of that fish brought out my addictive tendencies.
    Casted another 100 times looking for another, not a touch.
    2 additional hours of hoping when I should have made a move elsewhere.

    By doing that I missed the tide at the other place I wanted to be.
    There is an old saying, don't leave fish to find fish, so I stuck with that last night.

    Happy, but still struggling with fishing as an addiction. If you want to catch fish consistently, you need to know when to leave one place and move to the next. With bunker around and fish feeding on them at night it has been very frustrating for me as I struggle to figure out what little patterns there might be.

    You hear me talking about blind casting a lot. For bigger fish, in my experience, in the end it is all about random casting in areas likely to hold them.
    Very tough to figure if there are less fish around. That is what my experience is out there at night, on artificials.

  8. #48
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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Quote Originally Posted by dogfish View Post
    This came from another site,by the eelman Bill Nolan.

    Great read about what can happen when it becomes tooo much of an obsession, like anything else.

    Written by Bill Nolan





    Surf Fishing and the dark side of the sport

    Everything can have a dark side, not many people talk about it but our sport is certainly not immune from danger. Not everyone will head down this path but, a lot will, for those on this road, its time to stop at the red light and read on, and don’t say I didn’t tell you so!


    How about the social problems? I can rattle of more than a few names of friends I know whose marriages ended in divorce and fathers who missed many of there children’s younger years due to an obsession with being at the waters edge above all else.

    I have missed important family functions due to a tide I just had to fish. I have missed weddings, funerals, cookouts birthdays, the list goes on and on. I regret all of it and I can never get any of it back.

    1. The world runs by day not by night and that’s when most of the other activities need our attention. Our brains never really re-charge and most of the time we surfcasters walk around in that fog of tiredness all day. My doctor told me the body does many useful things during sleep to help us maintain an even balance, when sleep is lost we lose that balance. I also was told by my wife that without the sleep I was just miserable to be around all day. It’s certainly not fair to be grumpy all day to your loved ones for something we bring upon our selves.

    2. What are the other problems associated with pushing the sleep envelope? The first thing that comes to mind is Safety, Making bad choices can be costly when we are not thinking straight, one might venture a little further when wading or take risks we would not normally take because of lack of sleep. Another words, you don’t think straight. One other problem is the fact that it’s easy to fall asleep at the wheel and injure yourself or someone else on that long drive home at 3am after pounding the suds all night.

    3. Another friend of mine was killed in an automobile accident two years ago. You guest it, falling asleep at the wheel. There is no fish in the world worth that price, get your sleep. It’s far better to fish a few hours alert than to fish in a daze and risk death from nodding off at the wheel.



    4. How about eating habits? I can say without a doubt that my eating habits over the course of my surfcasting tenure have had a direct result on some of the problems I now have High Cholesterol, Type 2 Diabetes etc the price for this now is a needle I have to inject twice a day for the rest of my life. I hate to admit it but I have brought much of this upon myself with the choices I have made.






    *But what about tide? You ask?
    I have learned to have places where I can do well at every tide stage, there is always a place for me to go with a reasonable chance at catching fish, I have freed myself of the need to chase tides like I use to. I have also found that my fishing has actually improved; it has forced me to think more about tide and its relationship to stripers.

    *So now if its low tide at dark I fish that sand bar that gets me closer to that structure I could not normally reach at high water, if its high tide I fish that hole near the beach or that structure that gets covered which produces at high water, you get the picture. I am much more rested and actually enjoying the sport more.

    * When it gets compulsive as it once did for me, it is no longer a sport; it’s an addiction like anything else and a host of problems result from it. I also make it a point now to eat a healthy dinner before venturing out for a nights fishing, it has made a difference and my numbers are improving I also feel better! If I do have the urge to eat, I pack along fruit or an energy bar now instead of the stop at the grease pit. I also bought a boat and it was worth the every penny I paid if it helps my health.

    If you think all of this is hogwash, think again, I have several friends who are in the same boat so to speak. Two of them had by-pass surgery at young ages, one had a heart attack at age 42, several are divorced and left all alone, all of them are rabid surfcasters and all have paid a hefty price. We all had horrible eating and sleeping schedules and we were all victims of putting the fish above anything else. Nothing is good in excess. If you learn at a young age to take the sport in moderation you’ll fair much better in the long run. Many of my friends have made the same changes I have and we are all happier people for it.

    Remember fishing is foremost an activity that is supposed to be pleasurable not an all out compulsion, make the right choices and do the right things and above all else learn to put the sport of surfcasting in its proper prospective.Dont make the same mistakes I did, learn to enjoy all things in life, you will thank me in the long run!

    Bill Nolan

    I thought it would be a good time to re-post this quote and article by Bill Nolan. Read the whole thing on the first page of this thread, Thanks again for posting this dogfish. It is something I was thinking about last night.

  9. #49
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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    This has special meaning because Fin and I were talking about it the other day.

    There is a guy we are friends with who is down on his luck and has lost his job.
    Instead of finding a new job, he has been compulsive about his fishing.
    OGB mentioned he has been going to bed at 7pm so he can get up to fish the night tides and put himself in a position to catch the few bass that are around now.

    As Fin was talking about our mutual friend., I was thinking about my life and that of some of my friends.
    Some of the pics you have seen in the reports were of nice early spring fish. The guys who caught them did not luck into those fish. They fished a whole tide or more to get them. Or figured out what the pattern was, often involving late night tides.





    Even when you figure a pattern, in the past it was easier to catch numbers.
    I don't know about everyone else, but today it has become more difficult for me to find bigger fish from land. That's why you see all the threads here on conservation and the state of the striped bass biomass.

    That also probably has a lot to do with the booming interest in kayaking, so you can put yourself in the center of a body of bass and make it easier on yourself.

    Things have gotten so difficult for me to find bass (from land), that I rarely bother fishing the daytime any more.

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkSkies View Post
    This has special meaning because Fin and I were talking about it the other day.

    There is a guy we are friends with who is down on his luck and has lost his job.
    OGB mentioned he has been going to bed at 7pm so he can get up to fish the night tides and put himself in a position to catch the few bass that are around now.

    As Fin was talking about our mutual friend., I was thinking about my life and that of some of my friends.
    .... often involving late night tides.

    I realized that there are some nights I have been in bed at 7pm just so I can get up at 1am and fish certain late night tides until first light.
    A friend and I were talking the other day. He has 2 jobs and says he is doing the same thing.

    Fishing is fun, but if you have addictive tendencies, it can **** you in, worse than a crack pipe........

    I say this because I know.....

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    When you live an hour drive from your favorite fishing haunts not falling asleep at the wheel becomes a serious concern.

    The worst is when you plan to fish 9-1am after a long day of work and then around 1am you finally start catching fish. You fish all night until 6am...and you have to be at work by 8am. You get to work and your coworkers ask if you were out drinking last night and you LOL.

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Quote Originally Posted by J Barbosa View Post
    You get to work and your coworkers ask if you were out drinking last night and you LOL.
    Semi-related joke-

    Don sneaks in after a night out on the water.
    On his way in he rubs lipstick on his collar, and drinks a quick beer so it appears he has been drinking.
    He gets into the bedroom and his wife turns on the light.
    "Where were you, honey?" his wife asks.
    Don says: "Oh honey I was out drinking with the boys.
    She walks up to him and sees fish scales on his hands - "Don't lie to me you have been fishing again!"'''''''''

  13. #53
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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    ^^ Haha! Funny stuff dogfish! Here is a cool video maybe you guys will like it.

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Hilarious lol!!!

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Basshunter, thank you.
    The guy I fished next to is a mutual friend of Finchaser and me. The guy in that video reminds me of him. Looks like him a bit too, only the guy we know has a beard...

    Today is his anniversary and he was out fishin....hope he's still married by next year....

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    Default Re: The Dark Side of surf fishing

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkSkies View Post
    Basshunter, thank you.
    The guy I fished next to is a mutual friend of Finchaser and me. The guy in that video reminds me of him. Looks like him a bit too, only the guy we know has a beard...

    Today is his anniversary and he was out fishin....hope he's still married by next year....
    He's celebrating like I always tell you your not in trouble until you come home and your clothes are packed in bags on the front lawn. aah the memories,

    Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again

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    ^ Finchaser would know about the dark side of surf fishing, folks....one marriage ended because he was fishing most of his free time...
    (I think you're better off with the new model you traded in for, pal...make sure you tell her that when you read this....)





    *********
    In the last few months, I have been running into some of the most bizarre characters....so bizarre that they almost make me and the fishing I do look normal..
    These are people for whom fishing is more than a casual thing...it's a big part of their lives...

    1. Most of them are old-school....
    2. Most have or want nothing to do with the internet....
    3. And yes....they're still catching bass, big blues, and whatever the biggest thing out there is....to put a solid bend in their rod at night....
    4. They are all night fishermen...various areas.....
    5, And most have caught impressive numbers and sizes of bass, long after everyone else gave up and switched to fluke fishing......


    Am I coming here to blatantly praise these dedicated and talented fishermen?
    To an extent, yes....
    But there is a darkness to this as well...as Finchaser experienced.....

    Every single person I know who is at the top of their game......and fishes frequently....
    has had to make some significant sacrifices.....
    And cut out some other things in their lives
    .....

    Some have cut relationships....
    Divorces, failed marriages....Some continue to be single...
    All because they love fishing....but beyond that...are obsessive about the catching part.....these are all highly successful anglers.....
    A. It's a priority in their lives....
    B. Is one of the most important things that drives them to be out there as often as they are....
    C. In many instances, these folks I know....are half-insane....
    Managing to keep a job or some other structure in their lives...but still half-crazy.

    They have contempt for those who fish in groups....that kind of fishing is really not why a lot of us are out there at night....
    One of my friends recently said:
    "What's this with the new concept of group fishing? Are these guys dating each other or just fishing?

    These are the concepts that a lot of us grew up with....
    For the most part, the best fishermen I know out there....are loners.....
    Unless health reasons require them to fish with just one other person....
    Most of these folks, are happiest when alone out there, in pursuit of bigger fish at night.......

    Just wanted some others to be aware.....
    If you are envious or jealous of what they're catching......
    Remember that they had to make some sacrifices, to be able to get to that level......
    food for thought.....

  18. #58
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    Being able to fish a bite, at a moment's notice....

    I'm not talking about blitz fishing here....but the fishing when a solid bite develops..
    Some folks are able to drop what they're doing, and in some cases drive a hundred miles, or several states away...to find fish that are not in the usual areas....
    The Cape May/Atlantic County area bite earlier this summer, where most of the Berkeley C&R tourney winners came from, is but one example.....

    During the last 2 weeks, a bite developed in a state North of us.....
    I first heard of it about 2 weeks ago....I can talk about it now because it's fair to say it's mostly played out....only the locals have a fair shot at the isolated pockets of fish that remain.......

    I just couldn't rush up there...I don't have that kind of committment-free luxury in my life...
    However there are some people who can.....and do...being able to travel at a moment's notice...
    And that's what makes the difference...sometimes it's just one or two nights of good fishing....


    The list of out-of-staters up there read like a "Who's Who" list of the surf fishing world....A friend, one of the best fishermen I know...
    Recently went up.....he only had 24 hours,,,,and got nothing....while another friend had double digit fish to 30# the night before.....
    That's part of what I mean by the insanity of this all....
    And the reality that we are seeing less fish around....lack of a sustained pattern to plan your fishing by.....
    forcing people to gravitate toward bites like this.....

    I got feedback that although this bite wasn't highly publicized on the internet....the fishing was shoulder to shoulder....
    That's not my kind of fishing.......and for that reason I wasn't in a hurry to get up there......

    It has become, for some, a mad rush to jump in the car or truck, to get to the one shining area that month, where there is a good bite....if you miss it your numbers for the year will suffer.






    **
    Just thought I would share...the ridiculous attempts some of us will go through to get into some decent fish.....
    It really ain't that easy lately, to catch bigger fish from land....
    If some folks can't look at this, and see how bad things have become, for most of us...creating frenzy conditions whenever a decent land-based bite develops..then they will never understand how far down, the quality of fishing for bass has fallen in the last 8 years....

  19. #59
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    not me brother- I have and continue to learn from you guys- my family means more to me than fishing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by robmedina View Post
    not me brother- I have and continue to learn from you guys- my family means more to me than fishing.
    well-said, Rob.

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