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West Virginia Man Jose Cruz Charged With "Farting On An Officer"



Jose Cruz, a 34-year-old man from West Virgina, has been charged with battery after farting on a police officer. We suppose it was a particularly combative fart. Jose was driving without headlights when he was pulled over by cops, who determined he was driving while intoxicated. Later, as he was being fingerprinted, Jose decided to share his late-night enchirritos with his new friends:
While being fingerprinted, Cruz allegedly “lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons. The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto” the cop. “The gas,” the complaint notes, “was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons.”
Well. Was it more of slide-whistle? Was it, you know, sort of wet? Or more like an airy hiss? We’re not entirely sure what sort of flatulence has the most provocative nature.