Tribute to fallen soldiers.

[HerringRollins]

Soliders are killed every day. We hear about it, say,wow, bummer, and move on. I thought it would be nice for families and people who have known these soldiers to just have another place where they can be remembered.

I'll start. If anyone remembers Army Corporal Steven Koch of Milltown NJ, or has anything nice to say, that would be cool. I hope this doesn't turn into a "war is bad" polarized thread. These guys have given their lives for their country. No matter what you think about the war, they deserve honor and respect. Many of us would not make this sacrifice, yet these brave soldiers have. May they all rest in peace.




Fallen Army Cpl. Steven Koch's hearse rolled slowly by Our Lady of Lourdes elementary school yesterday as pupils holding miniature flags lined the street in poignant tribute to the soldier, father and former student.
Following the hearse past the silent wall of children at the Milltown school were Koch's teary-eyed mother, Christine, and his widow, Amy, each supported by friends holding their arms as they walked to the nearby Our Lady of Lourdes Church.


The soldier's father, William Jr., brother, William III, and sister, Lynne, also participated in the procession with other relatives and friends as a solemn drummer from the Middlesex County Pipes and Drums corps beat a cadence and members of the 82nd Airborne Division, with whom the 23-year-old corporal had served, carried his casket into the church.

"No man has greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. Steven showed his love by making the ultimate sacrifice," the Rev. Edward Czarcinski told the hundreds of relatives, friends, military veterans and well-wishers who filled the pews.
"Steve lays in repose draped in the flag of his country, which he loved," Czarcinski said.

Koch, who grew up in East Brunswick and had visited his former school just last year, was killed March 3 when a car bomb caused a wall to collapse on him in Sabari District, part of Khost Province in eastern Afghanistan, according to military officials. The region has been the scene of renewed fighting by the Taliban and other extremist groups. Koch was at least the ninth service member with New Jersey ties to die in Afghanistan since the war began. An additional 88 service members with ties to the state have died in Iraq.
As the Koch family sat in the front of the church, a relative held the soldier's 15-month-old daughter, Zoe, who clutched a small American flag in her hand.
"We pray for Zoe," Czarcinski said. "May she always be reminded of her dad's greatness, of her dad's sacrifice and her dad's love for her."
Steven Koch decided to join the Army after the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001. His mother tried for years to keep him from enlisting, but in 2006 he decided he no longer would be stopped.
Koch was deployed to Afghanistan in January 2007 and was due to come home April 20.


"I hope that five years from now," Czarcinski said yesterday, "when Zoe is going to school, we will be willing to lay down our lives, that the people of Afghanistan and Iraq will be free from war and death. We pray for peace. These are the beautiful ideals Steven believed."
Relatives hugged and comforted each other as the pipes and drums corps played "Amazing Grace," a family favorite. For the final song, the choir sang "America the Beautiful."


"What an honor for this boy to have so many people come out for him," said Elizabeth Gleason, who was one of Koch's teachers at Our Lady of Lourdes School and still works there. Gleason recalled Koch's smiling face when she taught him in a fifth-grade religion class. A fellow student of Koch's from that class sat behind Gleason at the church yesterday to pay his respects, while current seventh- and eighth-graders from the school also attended.
"I think they will forever take this in their hearts," Gleason said.

After the Mass, in a ceremony at the Joyce Kilmer American Legion Post 25 in Milltown, members of the 82nd Airborne Division presented Koch's parents, siblings and widow with medals for Meritorious Service, Good Conduct and the Afghanistan Campaign, all of which were awarded posthumously.

The family also received commemorative coins from the 82nd Airborne Division and Gold Star lapel pins, which are given to relatives of soldiers who die in armed conflict.
Today, the family will receive three more medals awarded to Koch posthumously -- the NATO, Bronze Star and Purple Heart -- when the soldier is buried at Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, Va.

[pinhead44]

Good idea. Prayers for the family.

[stripercrazy]

[plugaholic]

Nice. Prayers and thoughts for the family.

[captnemo]

Here's one that was in today's Star Ledger. Benjamin L Sebban of South Amboy gave his life for this country. Condolences to the family, may he rest in peace.

The article noted that:
The Iraq war began five years ago today and has long since fallen to the back of the minds of many Americans. A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found only one in four Americans knew roughly how many U.S. service members have died in the war.
The answer is nearly 4,000, including at least 88 with ties to New Jersey.






ARLINGTON, Va. -- The paratroopers came to burial plot 8613 here on Monday, a year to the day since their friend, Army Sgt. 1st Class Benjamin L. Sebban of South Amboy, died in Iraq.
Some, like Maj. Brad Rather and Capt. Braden Hestermann, made the five-hour drive up I-95 from Fort Bragg, N.C., to Arlington National Cemetery. Capt. Larry Robinson, wounded by a bomb blast 13 months ago, made the short trip across town from Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

They stood near Sebban's grave for more than three hours. They laughed, fought back tears and told Sebban's mother, Barbara Walsh, and his brothers, Daniel and David, former soldiers themselves, stories about the medic who has been recommended for the Distinguished Service Cross, the nation's second-highest award for valor.

Then the paratroopers walked among the gleaming headstones at Arlington, searching for other familiar names. They didn't have to go far.
"I've got five friends in these three rows right here," said Hestermann, a Nebraska native and West Point graduate. "Guys I looked up to. Guys I learned from. Guys like Ben, who were an inspiration to me."

The Iraq war began five years ago today and has long since fallen to the back of the minds of many Americans. A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found only one in four Americans knew roughly how many U.S. service members have died in the war.
The answer is nearly 4,000, including at least 88 with ties to New Jersey.

The numbers are no abstraction for the men who fought alongside Sebban, who was 29 when he died. They were assigned to Charlie Troop of the 5th Squadron of the 73rd Cavalry, a hand-picked group of 300 paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne Division. Twenty-two of them died, one of the highest casualty rates of any unit in Iraq.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Ben and those guys," Rather said.
They were losses the men who came to Arlington took particularly hard because they had gone to Iraq to fight -- and to heal the wounded.

Rather, a former infantryman, was the battalion physician's assistant. Robinson, the battalion surgeon. Hestermann was the medical platoon leader. And Sebban was the most sure-handed medic any of them had ever seen.
He'd been born while his mother was serving as a missionary in Africa. He'd taken an early interest in medicine.

After following his mother's wishes that he attend a bible college, Sebban enlisted to become a medic. He rose rapidly through the ranks and volunteered to go to Iraq with the cavalry unit.

"My brother found out another sergeant's wife was having a baby," Daniel Sebban said. "He volunteered to take his place so that man could see his child born."

Sebban made fast friends with the medical team from the cavalry unit. He let nervous young medics practice inserting IVs in his arm. He took Robinson, the battalion surgeon, under his wing, coaching the doctor just out of medical school to become a crack shot on the rifle range. He was forever playing practical jokes on Rather, once slipping a smelly salami into his duffel bag.

Rather saw Sebban the morning he died. Sebban had good news. He'd won promotion to sergeant first class, two away from the highest enlisted rank.
"He was so excited. All of us were so happy for him," Rather said. "It meant he was going to make a career out of it."

Rather headed back to the unit headquarters at Forward Operating Base Warrior. Sebban stayed behind at a patrol base in a former school building near Baquba, an insurgent stronghold north of Baghdad.

At 6:17 on the evening of March 17, 2007, an insurgent driving a flatbed truck loaded with explosives crashed into the patrol base. Multiple witness accounts say that instead of taking cover, Sebban ran into the open and shouted a warning for others to get down before the truck blew up.
The bomb detonated and a piece of shrapnel pierced Sebban's lower abdomen. When the dust cleared, Sebban was on his feet. Someone asked if he was OK.

"I'm good. I'm good. I've got to check casualties," Sebban replied.
Sebban worked on the wounded for about 10 minutes before collapsing. He bled to death before the medevac helicopter arrived.

"I don't think he knew he was hit," Rather said.
Word of the explosion reached headquarters quickly. "The report was mass casualties, one possible KIA (killed in action)," Rather said. "I didn't think it could possibly be Ben. He was indestructible. Then Braden (Hestermann) came in and I could tell he'd been crying. Then I knew."

In the days after the attack, Rather and Hestermann were among the officers who pieced together accounts of the attack. Their efforts became part of the paperwork that led commanders to recommend Sebban for the Distinguished Service Cross, the award second only to the Congressional Medal of Honor. So far, only nine have been awarded for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sebban may become the 10th. His paperwork has been approved by Gen. David Petraeus, the top commander in Iraq. Final approval, however, must come from the Army's Human Resources Command.

"Ben deserves it," Hestermann told Sebban's mother.
His mother said the name of the award isn't what matters. "That's in God's hands," Walsh said.

What was more important to her, she said, was hearing the stories from the men who served with her son.
Rather reminded her about the salami Sebban had slipped into his bag. She reminded him that Sebban had also arranged for Rather to receive a gift certificate to a restaurant near Fort Bragg so he could take his wife out to dinner when he went home on leave.

Robinson, who was sent home with a fractured skull from a bomb blast two weeks before Sebban was killed, had a story, too.
"After I got blown up, he packed up my camera. He made a video of himself on it," Robinson said. "He was like: 'Hey Doc, I'm sorry you got blown up. Get better and I'll see you soon.'"

Robinson discovered the video about two months after Sebban died.
"Sure, enough, I'll see him again some day."

[stormchaser]

RIP Bro. Condolences to family.

Army Staff Sgt. William R. Neil

Posted by The Star-Ledger March 25, 2008 10:03AM

Categories: Afghanistan
Army Staff Sgt. William R. Neil
Age: 38
Hometown: Holmdel
Circumstances: Died after his vehicle hit an improvised explosive device in the Kandahar province in southern Afghanistan.
Holmdel soldier is killed in Afghanistan
Posted March 25, 2008 06:01AM

A Holmdel man who gave up a career on Wall Street for life in the Army died after his vehicle hit an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan, military officials said Monday.

Staff Sgt. William R. Neil Jr., 38, was in Sperwan Ghar in the Kandahar province in southern Afghanistan when his vehicle hit the IED Saturday. He was on his second tour in Afghanistan, assigned to the Army 3rd Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group as a paratrooper.

In a statement released Monday night, family members called Neil "a true patriot who will never be forgotten."
Neil, known as Billy to his family and friends, died doing what he loved, his family said.

"Billy was a kind and generous person who loved both his family as well as serving his country. We are extremely proud of his courage and his commitment to our country's endeavor and extend our sympathy to other fallen heroes' families," his family's statement said. "He will be sorely missed by family, friends and his comrades still fighting for the cause Billy so dearly believed in."
Neil is at least the 10th service member with New Jersey ties to die in Afghanistan since the war began in the fall of 2001. An additional 88 service members with ties to the state have died in Iraq.

He is survived by his parents, William and Patricia, in Holmdel, and his girlfriend, Lorraine Cappuccino. He also is survived by three sisters, Veronica Cozzi, Patti Neil and Barbara Esposito, and their families, including two nieces and two nephews.

Earlier Monday, Neil's parents declined to speak about their son when they arrived at the family's townhouse in the Hidden Woods development. Before they went inside, Neil's father and mother picked up two baskets of recently delivered flowers left in front of the door. An American flag was flying over the neatly kept front porch.

The statement the family released described Neil as a dedicated soldier who did stints in both the Navy and the Army. In his down time, he enjoyed restoring classic cars, traveling and photography. He also loved reading nonfiction and historical publications and dining on Italian and Mexican food.
Neil was born in Jersey City and graduated from Hudson Catholic High School in 1987, his family said. He enlisted in the Navy after graduation and served for four years.

When he returned home, he worked for five years on Wall Street. But he eventually went back into the military, enlisting in the Army in 1998 as a supply specialist.
Neil served with the 4th Ranger Training Battalion in Fort Benning, Ga., and later went to Army Ranger School. He successfully passed the Special Forces Qualification Course to become a Green Beret in 2006.

He was assigned to Company C, 3rd Battalion of the 3rd Special Forces Group (Airborne) out of Fort Bragg, N.C., when he died.
Neil received several medals and awards during his military career, including the Army Commendation Medal and six Army Achievement Medals. He is expected to receive the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart, the Meritorious Service Medal and the Combat Infantryman's Badge posthumously.

Funeral arrangements will be made through Holmdel Funeral Home, the family said.

[ledhead36]

article the other day said we reached 4000. Sad to see this happen to anyone, prayers for the families, rip.

[seamonkey]

Neil put to rest yesterday. - RIP

[surferman]

Even those from long ago should never be forgotten.

Lt. Arthur F. Eastman, 22 years old, took off on a test flight out of Finschafen, New Guinea in 1944. He never returned. Until now, he is to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery in September.

IMMEDIATE RELEASE No. 229-08

March 24, 2008

Missing WWII Airman is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing from World War II, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is 2nd Lt. Arthur F. Eastman, U.S. Army Air Forces, of East Orange, N.J. He will be buried in September in Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C.

Representatives from the Army met with Eastman's next-of-kin to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the Secretary of the Army.

On Aug. 18, 1944, Eastman departed the airdrome at Finschhafen, New Guinea, on a test flight of his F-5E-2 aircraft, but never returned. Subsequent searches failed to locate Eastman or his aircraft.

In 2003, a Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) found documents in the Australian National Archives about an earlier site visit believed to be associated with an F-5E crash. According to the archives, an Australian official had visited the crash site in 1950 in Morobe province near Koilil Village, but there was no subsequent recovery.

In 2004, a team from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) investigated the crash site in the mountains of Morobe Province, Papua New Guinea. The team found aircraft wreckage and recommended the site be excavated.

In February-March 2007, a JPAC team excavated the crash site and recovered human remains, pilot-related items and other personal effects, including Eastman's military identification tag.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC also used dental comparisons in the identification of the remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department's mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.

[paco33]

bump for the soldiers

[voyager35]

25 year old soldier died near Baghdad

A soldier from Morris County on his first deployment to Iraq has died of a non-combat injury, according to the Department of Defense.

Pvt. Ronald R. Harrison, 25, of Morris Plains, died Monday at Forward Operating Base Falcon near Baghdad.
Harrison was a Bradley fighting vehicle mechanic assigned to the 703rd Brigade Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga., said Kevin Larson, a Fort Stewart spokesperson.

Harrison was sent to Iraq in January 2007 on a 15-month deployment, Larson said. Harrison joined the Army in September 2005.
The Defense Department said the incident is under investigation and no further details were released.

[voyager35]

Maj. William Gregory Hall was buried at Arlington National Cemetery yesterday. Maj. Hall was killed during his third tour of duty in Iraq on March 29th. RIP

[clamchucker]

We should also remember those from the past.

BY WAYNE WOOLLEY
Star-Ledger Staff
It had been a routine mission for the men aboard the U.S. Army Air Force bomber nicknamed "The Swan."
The B-24 Liberator and its 11-man crew -- including three airmen from New Jersey -- had dropped its bombs that December night in 1943 and was returning to its home airfield in Dobodura, New Guinea. The crew members radioed ahead to ask that the runway lights be turned on. They called back a few minutes later with a question: "Why aren't the lights on?"

The plane, it turned out, was near the airfield, but headed the wrong way. It crashed into the side of a mountain, burst into flames, and was declared missing -- a fate met by hundreds of World War II planes.
More than 60 years passed and then Norma Rowe of East Hanover got a phone call about her uncle, Staff Sgt. Albert J. Caruso, who left Kearny to fight in the war and never returned.

"The woman said she worked for the Army," Rowe said. "She wanted a sample of my DNA."
She was told wreckage of a plane had been discovered and members of the military's Joint Pow/MIA Accounting Command had unearthed the crash site, analyzed the human remains and col lected artifacts such as dog tags, rings and jewelry.

Yesterday, the Pentagon announced that a four-year recovery effort had been a success -- all crew members had been accounted for and their families notified. The crew of the Swan, the Pentagon said, is coming home. The remains of nine of the 11 crew members will be buried side by side at Arlington National Cemetery in July.

Those arrangements make sense to Marlene Moore, a teacher from Mathews, Va., and one of the few remaining relatives of Staff Sgt. Robert E. Frank, a crew member from Plainfield.
"I chose for Uncle Bob to be buried next to his buddies," she said. "They've been together all these years. They should stay together."

The remains of the third man from New Jersey, Tech. Sgt. Paul Miecias of Piscataway will also be buried at Arlington.

Miecias was the plane's engineer; Caruso and Frank were gunners.
The discovery of their plane, recovery and identification of their bodies after all these years, is part of a broad Pentagon effort to bring home the nearly 90,000 service members who remain missing from America's wars. Most of the missing were from World War II. Since 1973, nearly 1,500 remains have been recovered and identified.

With each identification, a piece of family lore is restored.
Moore, the teacher from Virginia, grew up in North Plainfield and remembers her father, Ralph, talking constantly about his little brother, who never came home from the war.
"He was always talking about the trouble they got into," she said.
Her father had died by the time she got the first call from the military, in 2004.

She learned in that first call that her uncle's dog tags had been found in a preliminary search of the wreckage. But it wasn't until December that she got a visit from two military officers who came with word that tests had determined with certainty that remains found at the crash site were her uncle.
They presented her with the dog tags and a bracelet that had belonged to him.

"That just did me in," she said. "I was so overwhelmed to think they found him after all these years. They were so respectful of the fact he served."
For Norma Rowe, the East Hanover woman, learning the fate of her uncle was more bittersweet.
The DNA tests the Army took were inconclusive, nothing matched the remains found at the crash site. None of her uncle's personal effects were found either.
But the military determined that all available information, including the flight manifest and records kept by the airfield indicated that her uncle must have been aboard the Swan the night it crashed. His gunner position was closest to the fuel tanks and it'sli kely he was incinerated, Rowe said the military told her.

She gets some comfort in knowing that Caruso's two brothers are still alive and are planning to attend the funeral in Arlington.
She said they will go on behalf of her grandmother, Maria Caruso, who never let anyone forget she was a Gold Star mother.
"She was very proud of her son ... she would always say, 'If only I could see my Albert again,'" Rowe said. "There's nothing we can take to bury for him. I was hoping for her, there could be a little something."

[CharlieTuna]

Good thread.

[pinhead44]

Nice Honor.



Navy will name destroyer after fallen Long Island SEAL


BY OWEN MORITZ
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Friday, May 9th 2008, 4:00 AM
Navy SEAL Lt. Michael Murphy, of Patchogue, L.I., in undated photo.


For a Long Island SEAL, the ultimate sacrifice has led to the ultimate honor - a Navy warship will be named after him.
At a remarkable ceremony on Lake Ronkonkoma, Navy Secretary Donald Winter announced that a new destroyer will be dubbed the Lt. Michael Murphy to recall the Congressional Medal of Honor winner from Patchogue.
Once Navy warships were named after notable figures from history, Winter said, but selecting Murphy was "an opportunity to recognize this new generation of heroes."
The sailor's father, Dan Murphy - a Vietnam War hero who was awarded the Purple Heart - was in tears when he heard the tribute on Wednesday. It came on what would have been his son's 32nd birthday.
"It was obviously overwhelming," Murphy said.
As far as he's concerned, the ship will be known as "The Murph" when it's commissioned in 2011. "Years from now, young sailors will know who my son was when they sail on The Murph," he said.
In June 2005, Michael Murphy and three other members of the Navy's elite Sea, Air and Land force were ambushed by 100 Taliban warriors on a mountain ridge in Afghanistan.
Though outnumbered, Murphy and his comrades fought back furiously. Murphy and two other SEALs died in the firefight. A fourth was rescued by an Afghan herder.
Murphy, a graduate of Patchogue-Medford High School, was the first Navy SEAL since the Vietnam War to receive the Medal of Honor.
The Navy announced the ship's keel would be laid next year at a shipyard in Maine and that the Lt. Michael Murphy would be commissioned in 2011.

[captnemo]

Navy will name destroyer after fallen Long Island SEAL




Great way to honor him, rip.

[clamchucker]

I thought this might be the appropriate place for my post. Don't anyone accuse me of being a softie, but I do read Dear Abby from time to time. Today's column really spoke to me. If anyone knows or meets any soldier at all, even a few simple words of thanks would go further than you could ever imagine.

SOLDIER'S DAD IS TOUCHED BY STRANGER'S GENEROSITY
DEAR ABBY: I am one of your many male readers. I have been up all night and need to put my thoughts down and thank someone for his act of kindness to my son.

My son, a U.S. infantry soldier, left yesterday for a 12-month deployment. After a tearful goodbye to me and to his young wife at the airport, he flew to Atlanta to join the other members of his unit for their flights overseas. He called me the evening he reached Atlanta and related this story:

He was eating a late dinner at a restaurant in the Atlanta airport. A man who appeared to be about 60 years old saw him show his military ID to the waitress when he ordered a drink with his meal. The man took my son's dinner check when he got up to leave, saying, "Let me buy a soldier a meal." When my son tried to politely refuse, the man insisted and said it was his way to thank him for what he was doing. Because Army privates don't make much money, my son was grateful. This act of kindness made a strong impression.

To that kind gentleman, I want you to know that this father is grateful, too. I sent my son into harm's way yesterday, and you, sir, a stranger, took care of him on his journey. You bought him a meal when I could not. Thank you, and God bless you. -- A SOLDIER'S GRATEFUL DAD


DEAR GRATEFUL DAD: I'm pleased to convey your gratitude. Today 190,000 members of our U.S. military are stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq doing tours -- and extended tours -- of active duty. It is completely appropriate for any civilian who sees someone in uniform to approach that person and offer thanks for his or her service. The gentleman who treated your son to dinner did it in a more tangible way than many do -- and for that he is to be commended.

[fishlipper]

Saw this on someone's car, RIP.

[clamchucker]

Hope this is ok for this thread. It relates the experiences of 4 soldiers in Iraq


Before and after Iraq




[COLOR=#333333! important]The war there is not an intellectual exercise. It has real, personal consequences.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#999999! important]By Michael Hastings
May 12, 2008 [/COLOR]
In July 2006, four young American Army officers sat at an Italian restaurant in Sackets Harbor, N.Y., about 20 miles from Ft. Drum. Three lieutenants and a captain, they were all friends, all platoon leaders in the 10th Mountain Division; one of them was my younger brother, Jeff, then 23 years old. It was their last meal together before deploying to Iraq.

Two years later, none of the infantrymen remembers what he ordered that night; they all remember what was said: "Statistically, one in four of us is going to get injured or killed over there."

A month later, they arrived in Baghdad, right before the "surge."

On Oct. 2, 2006, Capt. Scott Quilty, 26, was leading a foot patrol in Rustimullah, a town south of Baghdad. An improvised explosive device, or IED, detonated near him. He lost his right arm and right leg.

On Dec. 21, 2006, Lt. Ferris Butler, 26, my brother's roommate at Ft. Drum and in Baghdad, drove down a road in another town along the Euphrates River. Ferris and Jeff's careers in the Army had paralleled each other's -- basic training, officer candidates school, Army Ranger school and now deployment. That day, Ferris "got hit." Another IED. He lost half his right foot and, to use the military acronym, had a "BK" on his left leg, a below-the-knee amputation, which soldiers universally agree is the best worst injury to have, as long as it's just a BK on the "nondominant" leg and the rest of your body is fine.

Lt. Gregory Cartier was my brother's neighbor at Iraq's Camp Stryker. They'd been in the same platoon in Ranger and Airborne school. On May 8, 2007, Greg was on a mission to fill potholes and IED craters in Iraqi roads. Soldiers handed sandbags down a fireman's line, with Greg in the first position closest to the hole. After throwing in several sandbags, a bomb in the hole exploded.

Greg awoke in a bed a week later. He couldn't see anything, but he heard a familiar voice and felt someone touch his arm. "Greg, it's me, Scott, can you hear me?" Greg's first thought was, "What is Scott doing back in Baghdad?" He didn't understand that they both were at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington. Greg had wounds all over his body; he lost his left eye and suffered a traumatic brain injury ("TBI," in military speak).

My brother, now 25, returned to the United States in November after completing his 15-month tour. He survived more than 200 combat missions -- on the same roads, in the same towns, in the same Humvees -- and received a Bronze Star; his three friends also received military decorations with high honors for their service.

I first heard the story of their eerie 2006 conversation when I met all four together for the first time in Atlantic City in December 2007. It was a dark reunion of sorts. Ferris and Scott were in wheelchairs, a position they were unaccustomed to; Greg wasn't quite himself; and all three were still living at Walter Reed. My brother, Jeff, living back at Sackets Harbor, would visit them on the weekends.

When I saw them this spring, great changes had occurred in how they were dealing with the aftermath of the war. Greg was on his way out of the Army and into law school. Going forward, he said, he no longer wanted to be defined as "a wounded warrior -- I'm just a guy who got injured in a war." Ferris was out of the wheelchair and walking, had met a wonderful woman who had come to volunteer at Walter Reed, and felt he was a completely "new person." Of the hard-nosed military breed who doesn't put too much stock in introspection, Ferris was on his way out of the hospital, with an internship on Capitol Hill lined up for the fall, his application to business school accepted at the University of Maryland. My brother was preparing to leave the Army for medical school.

Scott -- with injuries more severe, outlook perhaps a bit different -- had started working for the Survivor Corps, formerly the Landmine Survivors Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to "helping each other overcome the effects of war and violence." He gave me a book its president, Jerry White -- himself a land-mine survivor -- had just finished writing called "I Will Not Be Broken: 5 Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis."

The book gives advice on how to handle those "unavoidable moments that divide our lives into 'before' and 'after.' " For White, that encompasses those who've fought cancer, got blown up or suffered a tragic loss. White tells the stories of the survivors he's met who haven't just gotten by but have felt life's profound devastations and thrived. The "super-survivors," he calls them. It's a tough-love, self-help book that demands that we not allow ourselves to stay the victim for too long. It gives some answers to the question: How do we go on? These soldiers answer that question, each a bit differently, every day.

This was the first time I'd really gotten to know other Americans who live with the consequences of the war. While I was in Iraq covering the war for Newsweek for two years starting in 2005, the woman I planned to marry was murdered in Baghdad by insurgents on Jan. 17, 2007. Her name was Andi Parhamovich; she'd come to Iraq to work for the National Democratic Institute, an NGO. After she was killed, I returned to the U.S. and started writing. It was an act of survival, a way for me to try to make sense of what happened and to give the beautiful woman I loved a lasting tribute.

We -- Andi, me, Jeff, Greg, Scott, Ferris -- all chose to go to Iraq, volunteers for our respective causes. We were under no illusions about the risks, though that's a glib way of putting it. I don't think anyone can fully grasp the risks until whoosh, wham, through the looking glass you crash on the way to the rehab center at Walter Reed or a funeral parlor in Ohio.

Iraq often gets treated by pundits, writers and politicians -- all those thoughtful cheerleaders turned war critics -- as an intellectual exercise. It's not. Hundreds of thousands live personally with its consequences every day. The tens of thousands of Iraqis who've been killed, the families of 4,074 American servicemen and women killed, the more than 900 contractors killed, the more than 29,000 U.S. wounded. The individuals who make up such statistics -- and those who loved them -- understand what the war actually costs. How paying that cost feels.

Back to the Italian restaurant in Sackets Harbor.

"Statistically, one in four of us is going to get injured or killed."

That stat about infantry officers got turned on its head; three of the four got injured. My brother thinks he said the line that evening at the restaurant. Greg and Ferris think he did too. Scott disagrees, though, and claims it for himself.

Scott suspects that they attribute it to Jeff because he never landed at Walter Reed -- it's a trick of mental revisionism to make everyone's fate seem inevitable, not the random chance of life.

Or as Jerry White writes: "Life explodes, and nothing is ever quite the same."

[clamchucker]

Two more New Jerseyans killed in Iraq war

Lawman's loss 'hurts,' says State Police colleague
Thursday, June 26, 2008 BY RICK HEPP AND TOM FEENEY
Star-Ledger Staff

A New Jersey State Police detective on his third tour of duty overseas with the U.S. Army Reserve was killed this week when a bomb exploded inside a local government building in Baghdad.
Dwayne M. Kelley, 48, of South Orange, a major in a civil affairs unit of the Army Reserve, was one of 10 people, including four Americans, killed in the blast early Tuesday. The State Police announced his death yesterday.

"He felt it was his duty to protect his country," said his sister, Sabrina Dalton of Montclair. "He said to take it over there instead of over here. I always asked him if he was afraid or not. He never answered. He always said, 'That's my duty.' He was brave to a fault."

Kelley, a member of the 432nd Civil Affairs Battalion in Green Bay, Wis., was one of two service members from New Jersey killed in Iraq this week.

The Defense Department yesterday said Army Capt. Gregory T. Dalessio, 30, of Cherry Hill died Monday of wounds suffered during combat operations in Salman Pak, Iraq.
Dalessio was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, based in Baumholder, Germany.
Dalessio's stepfather, Tomas Pagano of Cherry Hill, last night said he last spoke with his stepson by telephone on Father's Day.
"I didn't know it was going to be my last conversation with him," Pagano said during a telephone interview. "You never suspect that."
The oldest of eight children, Dalessio was a bachelor, his stepfather said. After getting a bachelor's degree in special education from Seton Hall University in South Orange, he taught for a year before doing some college recruiting for the university, Pagano said.
Then, going through the ROTC program at Seton Hall, Dalessio got a master's degree in international relations and was commissioned in May 2004, Pagano said.
Dalessio began his second deployment in Iraq in April, a deployment that was scheduled to last 15 months, Pagano said. Shortly before he was deployed to Iraq, Pagano and his wife visited him in Germany. Dalessio spoke with his mother on Friday, and they reminisced about that last visit.


"He accomplished so much in 30 years," Pagano said. "If somebody says, 'Just think what he could have done if he lived another 30 years,' I say, 'No, because his life was fulfilled.'"


He and Kelley are the 100th and 101st service members with ties to New Jersey to die in the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Kelley, a 20-year veteran of the State Police, was a detective sergeant who worked in counter-terrorism, serving first on an FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force and later in the State Police Counter-Terrorism Bureau, said Sgt. Stephen Jones, a department spokesman.

He was fluent in Arabic and, while serving on the FBI task force, had been sent to Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, to interrogate detainees.

"He touched many lives throughout the law enforcement and military communities, and he will be deeply missed by us all," State Police Superintendent Col. Joseph R. Fuentes said.
Word of Kelley's death spread over teletypes in State Police barracks across New Jersey yesterday morning.
By early afternoon, a half-dozen troopers had gathered on the lawn in front of the trooper's apartment building in South Orange where he lived with his wife, Manita. His sister said he had two adult daughters.
"He was a quality individual," said Sgt. Guy Packwood, one of the troopers outside the apartment building. "It's a real loss, a major loss. It hurts."
Packwood said he and Kelley came on the job together in the late 1980s and were close. Still, he said, Kelley had the ability to surprise him.

"For the longest time, I never knew he spoke Arabic," Packwood said. "When he told me, I was like, 'Whoa.' I was surprised, but then it made sense. A smart guy."

Kelley served two tours in Afghanistan, the first coming just weeks after the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks, said State Police Lt. Kevin Tormey, the assistant bureau chief of counter-terrorism.


Kelley's career with the State Police included a six-year stint in the auto unit. When he was reassigned to counter-terrorism, he plunged into the subject, studying Arabic, the Koran and Muslim culture, Tormey said.

Kelley's job involved investigating international terrorism cases in Union, Mercer and Burlington counties. He investigated tips and leads developed from sources in New Jersey and overseas.
"Some of the cases start out as something very small. You have to flesh them out and build on it," Tormey said. "The more you connect, the bigger it becomes. You've got to do a lot of the paperwork, but you're definitely out in the field a lot talking to people. He was involved in surveillance and he was actually going to get involved in undercover stuff. It's what you make of them and he was definitely able to make some pretty good cases of them."

State Police Detective Sgt. Tanya Schultz, a member of the counter-terrorism task force that was sent to Guantánamo, said Kelley was effective as an interrogator because he made a point of speaking initially in Arabic and making sure he respected Islamic culture and customs.

"He would sit down and speak to them in their native language at first, and that kind of ingratiated him to them," she said. "Most of the time, you didn't get information with just one interview. It took rapport-building. He was able to speak to them very easily ... because he was a good listener. You could tell he truly cared about what you were saying."

The Defense Department had not yet announced Kelley's death last night. The State Police said he was killed by a bomb in Sadr City, a large, impoverished Baghdad enclave that once was a stronghold of the Shi'a militia.

The Associated Press reported two of the Americans killed in that blast were soldiers. The others were civilian employees of the U.S. government, one from the Defense Department, the other from the State Department.

The four were part of a provincial reconstruction team, a group dispatched to teach, coach and mentor Iraqis and help them with reconstruction projects.

The team went to the Sadr City district council building to attend a weekly meeting in the deputy council chief's office. The bomb went off just as the Americans entered the room and began talking to the deputy council chief, the council's spokesman, Ahmed Hassan, told the AP.

U.S. troops captured a suspect who was trying to flee the scene, the military said, claiming he tested positive for explosives residue.
The military blamed the attack on "special groups criminals," a term it uses for Shi'a militiamen refusing to follow a cease-fire order from anti-U.S. cleric Muqtada al-Sadr.

A witness said the Americans rounded up all the Iraqi guards at the building immediately after the explosion.

An initial investigation indicated the explosion was an inside job and that the bomb likely was planted on Monday to avoid the tightened security that accompanies the weekly Tuesday meetings, an Interior Ministry official said.

Kelley was a 1978 graduate of John F. Kennedy High School in Willingboro, Burlington County, where he was a standout forward on the basketball team. His sister said he played basketball at Rider University before transferring to Rutgers-Camden. He earned a degree from Rutgers in 1985.


Staff writer Wayne Woolley contributed to this report.