Ask Turd Ferguson

[DarkSkies]

Bothered by those profound questions that keep you up at night? the ones that seem to have no answer? Back for a limited time, Turd Ferguson - protector of truth and the American Way on the internet, will now answer your questions. I can't promise to answer them all, but I might try. Serious fishing and tackle related questions will be ignored. Cmon, hit me with your best shot!

It's gonna be a cold winter, keep em coming.

[dogfish]

If God is all powerful, can he make something so big even he can't lift it?

[dogfish]

How do ya handle people who mug you on the beach and fish wiithin 4 feet?

[stripercrazy]

What would you do if you had to choose between ti**ies and beer all night, or lipping 35# bass?

[CharlieTuna]

Ok, get me up to speed here. Just who is Turd Ferguson?

[rockhopper]

You have a pod of big bass leaving Sandy Hook at 12midnight, chasing adult bunker, moving north. You have another pod of big bass and monster bluefish, leaving Montauk at 1am, chasing rainfish and spearing, moving south. Where will these pods intersect, and where will you try to get them at?

[cowherder]

It seems I'm too late for the bite. North, south, you name it, I come in last place. I did get some nice fall bass thanks to you guys, but I'm missing out on these epic blitzes, it's driving me crazy. I have to work during the day, pay those bills, any advice?

[DarkSkies]

Ok, get me up to speed here. Just who is Turd Ferguson?

Here ya go-
http://www.imeem.com/people/_3xuwZ/v..._comedy_video/

[DarkSkies]

If God is all powerful, can he make something so big even he can't lift it?

You stole that from George Carlin. No soup for you.

[bababooey]

Every time I hit the go go bar, I go home with visions of the Brazilian chicks in my head. Then I look at my wife, lose that vision. Any thoughts so I could keep imagining that go go chick instead of my wife?

[dogfish]

You died and before you can get into heaven, your penance is to come back for a month as Hank the Angry Dwarf, or Beetlejuice. Who do you come back as?

[wish4fish]

fish all day and catch 50 schoolies, or fish all night and maybe catch a fat 45 incher?

[rockhopper]

You died and before you can get into heaven, your penance is to come back for a month as Hank the Angry Dwarf, or Beetlejuice. Who do you come back as?

Mr Turd Ferguson, how about if you had to choose between High Pitch Eric and Crackhead Bob?

[williehookem]

Mr. Ferguson, Is there really a Mrs. Clause?

[plugginpete]

All the Stern stuff, no love for O&A?

OK, which do you thing is more cutting edge, O&A or Stern?

[cowherder]

How do you handle it when you're out there, all the beach in the world, and someone starts casting over your head?

[ledhead36]

Which dead rock stars would you line up in a band together? 6 positions max.

[dogfish]

Who would you say are the craziest women in the sack - blondes, brunettes, or redheads?

[DarkSkies]

You died and before you can get into heaven, your penance is to come back for a month as Hank the Angry Dwarf, or Beetlejuice. Who do you come back as?

Def Beetle. I already lived Hank's life, ain't too much fun. But Beetle gets the wimmens.



hot skanky hos



Beetle & Hank, classic

[DarkSkies]

Mr. Ferguson, Is there really a Mrs. Clause?

Mrs Claus looked like that, I'd kick the old fat guy out in the air and move to the North Pole.