Ask Turd Ferguson

[DarkSkies]

Just wondering is Turd Ferguson single?

Katie, my girl makes me happy, if ya looked like Heather Locklear I would get a free pass for a week. Otherwise, you should take a look at my pic first. Now that I put one of me up, it's only fair you should put up one of you, preferably in a bikini.

[VSdreams]

Why are the days getting shorter?

[mick2360]

Why are the days getting shorter?

Good Question! Turd, you have anything to do with this?

[bababooey]

Katie, my girl makes me happy, if ya looked like Heather Locklear I would get a free pass for a week. Otherwise, you should take a look at my pic first. Now that I put one of me up, it's only fair you should put up one of you, preferably in a bikini.

DS, I can see with a mug like that, you're popular with the ladies.


Katie, we need bikini pics, it's time.

[DarkSkies]

Why are the days getting shorter?

Good Question! Turd, you have anything to do with this?

No, but I can tell you why:


It's all about the fish. As you know, in the fall, the bass and bluefish begin the fall migration from Mass, Rhody, and parts north. As these fish move from East to (south) west, the main body follows a pattern that is 15-20 miles offshore. These are the legendary cowabunga basss and the goliath bluefish, seen only in the rain n the light of a full moon. The rats we are catching now are not part of this category.

As these huge numbers of fish swim in formation, they create a huge magnetic pull on the oceans and earths rotation. They are joined by millions of giant tuna, 1000 lbs or more, that fishermen were looking for in the far canyons, but actually spend the summer hiding on the inshore wrecks.

These great schools of fish swim together, compounding the magnetic force on the earth's gravity and causing it to spin faster.

This creates a break in the space and time continuom, causing time to speed up a bit, and our sun to go down sooner. Most people don't notice it because it happens very slowly each day.

But the government scientists know about it, and they're keeping quiet. Same as area 51 in the Arizona desert. They know that if us maniac fisherrmen knwe the truth, a few rogue individuals and some Japanese fishing ships would be in hot pursuit of these massive bodies of behemoth fish and wipe them out.

So they give us the other scientific BS that we have accepted for centuries as truth.

Hope that explains it for ya.

Turd Ferguson - giving serious thought to all youir scientific questions, keep em comin'.

[mick2360]

Turd, Do you think posting your picture had killed any chance that Katiefishes is going to post her bikini pic?

[katiefishes]

Patience is a virtue.

[williehookem]

Patience is a virtue.

Only if you're a priest or a nun.

[dogfish]

Katie, we need pics. The patients are restless.

Turd, what motivates you?

[mick2360]

Turd, what motivates you?

Great question! It appears Turd has taken the week off!

[DarkSkies]

Katie, we need pics. The patients are restless.

Turd, what motivates you?

Great question! It appears Turd has taken the week off!

The Turd has been busy with other engagements. Old Man Winter is stretching his long cold hands over our beaches. Put out some more questions, he may try to answer them.

What motivates Turd?

Fear of falling on his face in a pile of puke, a script he knows all to well.

Bikinis on the beach.

The burning desire to make one more sunset or sunrise cast where that cow is waiting, and to help new people who are just learning the sport .

Pizza, chocloate, ring dings, and fried egg sammiches, the 4 fishermen food groups.

A desire to help my brother fishermen understand the pressing issues of the day.

Go go dancers with big (smiles).

[basshunter]

Any thoughts of when an 80lb bass will be caught from the surf?

[DarkSkies]

Is it better to be a windshield or the bug?
Better to be a losing team with a great season once every 5 years, or a winning team in a perennial slump?

I been both the windshield and the bug at different times. It doesn't matta as long as you're catching fish.



losing team - everyone loves an underdog story, loser coming from behind, I'm a loser baby so why dontcha kill me?





cmon guys keep em comin, long cold winter ahead... ...........................

[mick2360]

Go go dancers with big (smiles).

Great pics of chicks on the beach. This got me thinking, cut off blue jeans, short, of course, or bikini bottoms?

[DarkSkies]

Great pics of chicks on the beach. This got me thinking, cut off blue jeans, short, of course, or bikini bottoms?

Mick, I've met ya in person, I don't think you would look good in either.

Seriously, the most attractive thing to me about a woman is the mystery. Nudity does nothing for me, but the "hint" of something is a real turn-on. The short shorts, where you might get a glimpse of heaven, the short skirt, revealing just a little bit more of her leg or azz as she bends over, the possibility of seeing something more, the cleavage slightly revealed, these things are all related to women and the scent of a woman. Nothing like it, not even the best booze or drugs come close. I'm very grateful God allowed us knucklehead guys to have women on this earth.

[cowherder]

Nice...

[plugcrazy]

How many fish are in the sea?

[katiefishes]

Here I am.

[bababooey]

No face pics, Katie? Be a sport, put em up. It's just a few of us here (and a couple hundred degenerate lurkers) We won't bite...

[DarkSkies]

More pics Katie, don't be shy. Cmon now.