I hear ya, brother. At times my shame was so intense I thought about killiing myself, and figured the easiest ways to do it so there wouldn't be too much of a mess for anyone who came and found me when I was dead. The cycle of addiction and remorse was slowly killing me, and I couldn't stop. Each time I screwed up, crashed a car, or did some other monumentaly stupid thing, I was able to quit for awhile out of fear. Soon after, I was back at it again. The shame worked for awhile, but my addictions always took over again.

Isn't it amazing how some of the simplest things today can cause us to pause, and look at them with gratitude?

Well put, man.