One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

Thought I would put this up for anyone who wants to stop by and bs. Life, problems, whatever, anything related to alcohol or too much partying, what you did about it, and how you are dealing with it now. If that's you, c'mon in.

I was on the fence about it, but my life story is already out in cyberspace anyway. No point in hiding now. Maybe some people can be helped by this, maybe not.

I had another place where I used to stop in, I miss some of those guys. There was some good stuff in that thread, one of the things that I liked about the place. Life goes on. I don't go to meetings that much anymore, but still try to take life one day at a time. I'll give it a shot and try to come here when I can.

Anyone who feels funny about putting things out on the internet, you can always pm. I'll help if I can.

[mick2360]

Hey Dark, Thanks for getting this started. When I first came across a thread like this on another site, I thought it might help. That thread has thousands of posts and many, many guys have been helped. Coming to grips with a problem means knowing that alcohol or drugs are hurting your life, health and relationships. Maybe this is a place people can come to check out their thoughts. We drunks come with many backgrounds and stories. Some of mine make me laugh when I tell them but there is a sad ache of the life I missed living in a haze. Recovery started with a couple of simple words. "My name is Mick and I'm an alcoholic".

[DarkSkies]

Yup, Mick, my name is Dark, and I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Found this cool online site with thoughts for the day:

November 27, 2008

Thankfulness

How thankful I am today, to know that all my past failures
were necessary for me to be where I am now.
Through much pain came experience and, in suffering, I became obedient.
When I sought God, as I understand Him, He shared His treasured gifts.
Through experience and obedience, growth started,
followed by gratitude.
Yes, then came peace of mind -- living in and sharing sobriety.




For today, I am thankful for all the people who extended their hand to me in the beginning years. I was lost, and had no idea where to begin. I have gone back to those rooms from time to time, and many are no longer there. There's a completely new crop of people, like the new session of school in the fall.

But it's a lifelong "school" and learning experience for us. We can always learn from others.

I wanted to wish all the members here and their families a great Thanksgiving and Holiday Season! This time of year I seem to notice others who are less fortunate. With the way the economy is going, I seem to see mopre people down on their luck. You can't help everyone, but a few words of kindness can go a long way. It feels good, and your kindness might be the spark that other person needed.

Just the other day, I was talking about some people who helped me years ago when I was down on my luck, One of them was in LE, Mr B. Those were some dark days back then, and he pulled me aside and said, Rich, you screwed up, but you'll make it out of this. Life goes on.

And it does, so I wanted to try and put some words out there for the people who may be suffering this Holiday Season. If your life looks like it can't get any worse, talk to someone, try to listen to the advice of others.

It can get better, and it will, if you work it. Don't give up, think of the people who will miss you if you're gone.

[mick2360]

Lots of wisdom in understanding how addiction and mistakes helped make us the men that we are today. If you are suffering today, please believe me that it can get better. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and I expected it to change immediately when I tried to stop drinking. Sometimes I would fail and start to drink all over again; sometimes for a year, then a few months and gradually with longer periods of abstinence in between. AA was always an open door. People would show me the steps, encourage questions and provide guidance. Those of you who are fellow drunks probably know how I reacted to guidance but eventually, I was able to stop altogether. It has been sixteen years. The life that I have today is beyond my wildest dreams and I am very, very grateful for the chance for a life.

No matter where you are today, if you are doing things that hurt yourself and those that you love there is help. Jump on, make yourself known we can talk about the journey we know as recovery. There is no shame in recognizing that your life needs to change. Happy Thanksgiving. May your life get better from this day forward.

[DarkSkies]

Thought for the day:

November 28, 2008

On The Edge

No one who drank as I did wakes up on the edge of the abyss one morning
and says: Things look pretty scary; I think I'd better stop drinking before I fall in.
I was convinced I could go as far as I wanted,
and then climb back out when it wasn't fun anymore.
What happened was, I found myself at the bottom of the canyon
thinking I'd never see the sun again.
AA didn't pull me out of that hole.
It did give me the tools to construct a ladder with Twelve Steps.






People talk about hitting bottom. I hit bottom many times, only I convinced myself each time it wasn't the bottom. I would screw up, feel terrible about it, and rationalize it wasn't that bad. People talk about banging your head against the wall and achieving the same results. I had to have my head smashed against a wall, and face death, before it was enough to scare me straight.

Words and logic from others did nothing, no matter how well-meaning they were. I had to learn life's hard lessons by myself. Remembering where I came from, and how hard it was to get out of there, helps me to keep my memory green and to stay sober today.

[DarkSkies]

November 29, 2008

Escape Act

I was at a dead halt - spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Depression smothered my muffled thinking even more. . .
Thank God I never gave up on meetings,
so my Higher Power finally got through to me.
I realized I'd been playing the great escape act all this time.
I know now I have a lot of work to do.





I knew that routine well. The good thing was that meetings were kind of the thing that saved me from further trouble. At first people said make 90 in 90 days. So many people have trouble with that, they think: How the heck can I make so many, I have a life to live, I'm busy, dammit!

Letting something or someone take priority over out sobriety is part of the cunning, baffling, and powerful nature of our addictions.

There are times when meetings don't fit the person - guys will say to me, yeah I know I should be going, but the people at that one I go to down the street are a'holes.

Well, find another street, and another meeting.

[DarkSkies]

Some of mine make me laugh when I tell them but there is a sad ache of the life I missed living in a haze.

I couldn't have said that any better, Mick. We all have some outrageous war stories. I know the focus is on today, but when I think of all the quality time that I threw away living in that haze, wow. Good to keep the memory green.

[jonthepain]

it's a baffling, crazy thing, alcoholism.

[clamchucker]

Very sorry to hear that dark skies. He will be in my prayers.

[DarkSkies]

^ The update on that, is I took him to a meeting last night.
His first one, and my first in quite a few years.

Thoughts....
I had forgotten how hot the coffee can be at an AA meeting.....I like to sit there and drink it black.
This was a new meeting, less than 15 guys there, but free form discussion, good stuff.


**We alcoholics like to talk a lot, surprisingly there were those there who were twice as verbose as I am.
(This taught me I really have to work to shorten some of my long-winded posts,)

There were people there who had lost almost everything because of their addictions....really brought me back, and good to keep the memory green.

Most importantly, this guy and I will be going back regularly, as he doesn't have a ride to get to some of these....and I look forward to getting back into the groove again....

I know his family is happy that he went...whether he will stick with or not, it's too early to tell,. and it's one day at a time anyway...but it was a good start.

I missed out on fishing because after a 10 hour day physical work, some repairs, and the meeting I fell asleep with my gear in my car, but sometimes other things are more important......I'll get to the water next time.....Sobriety is more important.

[DarkSkies]

Have been going to some more meetings. The bright side is the newcomer is doing ok. The other night I couldn't get there in time and he walked the 4 blocks to the meeting. He has resisted so much before that I didn't know if he would be there,,,,but he was.

He's not working right now, is looking for a job, and I think it's good momentum for him to try to get to as many as he can. I'll try to help till he gets back on his feet.

I also appreciate being there as well...
been out of the AA loop for a long time.....

The downside....I am getting to see how irritating some of us drunks really are.....the new people at the meetings are having side conversations, doing the i-phone browsing....I feel it's rude to the speakers, and don't remember things being like that a few years ago.

It's a different world out there with cell phones, much different than AA was the last time I was going regularly.
Life isn't perfect to begin with,,,,we all must deal with irritations and disappointments. For, now, it beats the alternative.

[DarkSkies]

Some good stuff here, people.

I had some thoughts on Christmas and getting older....
As we get older, so do our parents....there may come a time when you have to care for them, or look after them more regularly, even if they live by themselves.....The dynamics of doing this are not appreciated by many busy younger families.....hence the growth in nursing homes and assisted living facilities in this country.......

For quite a few years, my Mom, when she was in better health, would play Santa at some of these nursing homes...Pebbles and I would play Santa's helpers as she made up dozens of cookie and small gift care packages to give to the old folks at some of these homes.....

It was rewarding and fulfilling...at the same time sad when you realized that some of these older folks, had family that lived close by, but that they never saw....even in the best nursing homes, to me there was still a fair amount of sadness....this gave us a resolve that we would never put my Mom in one.....

I know others faced with these decisions and choices...and what I say to them is...each decision is based on your circumstances....It's not fair to judge someone else for putting their family member in a home....
It's just something that we decided we are not doing, in our family......

My words below, are designed to reach out to those of us, who are caring for an elderly parent.....in this season of Christmas, and for all the other days of the year........

[I know this has been a very challenging year for you and your family.
I don't think these health issues will get any better for them. I hope and pray that God is merciful and is watching over them so they do not have to endure suffering. As all of our parents and family members get older, I think it's a reminder of our own mortality.....

The idea that their ailments, could someday be a part of our lives...as many ailments and illnesses affect those closest genetically.....

The idea that our days will someday be numbered.....
The irony that the small inconveniences of caring for someone else's daily needs....will, down the road, be the same small inconveniences that someone else has to go through...for us......


Some that I respect greatly....have told me the following.....
"We are all dying....one day at a time.....some of us just get there faster than others...."

I think the above does apply...but it's also true that we are living.....one day at a time....Every Day is a precious gift from God.......

What we do with it, is up to us....
No matter how bad our lives are......someone else always has it harder........
That doesn't make our own struggles, any less difficult, though.....

We all have our struggles, and challenges.....
My point in writing this at Christmas, for those who believe in Jesus, and God the Father.....
is that He unselfishly sent his only son to us....to absolve us for our sins, as a symbol of his benevolent and unconditional love for us.....
To me, one of the things that stands out, is the unselfishness.........]
















Today, in our society, I see examples of selfishness daily.....
Maybe because I grew up in a dysfunctional family, that selfishness is easier for me to detect, and notice......
It's something that saddens me greatly, and has hardened my heart, to helping less people than I am capable of....due to some of my cynicism and experiences......

At Christmas, and at times throughout the year......I try to evaluate my behavior and see how I can do better.....IMO there is always room for improvement.....
I think many of us, me included, could all use some encouragement, on being a little nicer to our fellow men and women.....

Remember, there but for the Grace of God....go I...
Compassion, or a kind word, telephone call to someone we haven't spoken to in a while...can mean a world of difference, in their lives....
A few kind words from us...can bring a ray of sunshine into the life of someone, that can last for weeks........

Remember that, as you are out there, this Holiday season...
busily going to parties, functions, get togethers......shopping, trips, jaunts, fishing, etc.......
All it takes is a few moments from your busy day.....to put a huge level of brightness, in the life of someone else.......

Take that 5 minutes...
Make the call.....
Share some kind words.....
Do a good deed for someone.......
Assist them in some small way.....That act of kindness....will come back to you 100 times richer......

Merry Christmas, all!.....
And Best Wishes for Health and Happiness......for those are IMO the 2 of the most precious gifts life has to offer.....
You can't give someone else good Health....
But 5 minutes from you can bring them some much needed Happiness........more precious than any worldly gift you could ever give them.

[DarkSkies]

St Jude's Prayer for Pebbles Dad.............who suffered a severe stroke......
please pray for him if you can.......
We are trying to get through this, one day at a time....

PRAYER FOR THE SICK

For those who most need our prayers --
those who will die today. For the poor, the
sick, the jobless, for those in jail, for those
suffering from loneliness or depression. For
those suffering with marriage or divorce problems.
For those suffering from life threatening
illnesses such as cancer, heart diseases,
diabetes, leukemia or AIDS. For those suffering
from addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling or
gluttony. For all of these we offer our prayers.

Let us pray:

Consider, Oh Lord, Your faithful ones,
suffering from bodily and mental affliction,
and refresh the lives which You have created,
that by being bettered by suffering, they may
ever be conscious of Your merciful salvation.

May the Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you to
guard you, within you to preserve you, before
you to lead you, behind you to watch you,
above you to bless you. Who lives and reigns
with the Father in the Holy Spirit in Eternity.
Amen.

May the blessing of Almighty God, Father,
Son and Holy Spirit descend upon you
and remain for all time. Amen.

[storminsteve]

Thoughts and prayers dark. If there is anything I can do let me know.

[surfstix1963]

Thoughts and prayers Pebbles and Dark I hope all goes well.I know where your coming from taking care of elderly parents but they did it for us now it is our turn regardless of the stress it puts on you.And it puts stress on you and your spouse, believe me it is a rough road sometimes.

[Monty]

Thoughts and prayers to Pebbles Dad and Pebbles, Dark and family.

[jonthepain]

sorry to hear about the stroke, D.

I'm praying for all you all.

jc

[DarkSkies]

Pebbles still maintains a nightly vigil at his hospital bed every day after work, and all day on weekends. We are hoping for some improvement, he has stabilized, but not much else so far, very slow going, and sad to see someone who was once so active confined to a hospital bed for the rest of his life.

I post these things for all of us to see and reflect on.
Surfstix, Finchaser, John, and some of the rest of you know these things from personal experience.
I know a lot of folks read this thread even if they don't post, the views say it all.......

If any of you out there are estranged from your friends or family, and it makes sense to re-visit the relationship (key words),,,
think about doing that, and getting in touch, before something like this happens......
This could happen to any one of us....life can change on a moment's notice....

Thanks for the kind words and prayers, from all of you.
He really can use those prayers, keep em coming.

[robmedina]

Found this very inspiring. I need to count my blessings more!

[dogfish]

rob that certainly was inspiring. dark thoughts and prayers for your and pebbles families.