BE the bucket
Senior Member
BE the bucket
Administrator
A Sixth Sense
A genuine sense of humor touches, tastes, hears, sees,
and even smells the world in a unique way, a kind and colorful way.
This new sixth sense AA meetings have given me is a blend of awe, wonder,
and gratitude -- a magic potion, you could say.
Behind this glow of laughter and acceptance is the light of forgiveness.
A sense of humor transforms restless, irritable, and discontented sobriety
into quality sobriety.
"We aren't a glum lot," the Big Book says. Now I know why.
Thought to Ponder....
Take time to laugh -- it is the music of the soul.
They say laughter is the best medicine. If we can laugh at out troubles and disappointmentments in life, sometimes that is all that is needed to take stock, regroup, and move on.
The life of an alcoholic is marked by resentments and jealousies. I have dealt with many people who held irrational jealousies. There have been times when my resentments prevented relationships from being the best they could be with other people. Learning to let go of these is not easy, but it is a healthy process.
And laughter is like a natural medicine. I love to laugh, make fun of me anytime you want, I ball bust people whenever I can.
Life is so short that it's no fun to go throughout it serious all the time. Fun is precious as long as we are not hurting or disrespecting anyone else at the expense of our fun. They say it takes more muscles to frown than smile, so pass along a good joke to a friend today, it may be the one thing that brightens their day. You never know when will be your last day on earth - live it like it is.
Senior Member
yeah that was me.Originally Posted by DarkSkies
still struggle with the irrational part. and resentments. not so much jealousies anymore. but i know as soon as i say that, i'll be given a chance to eat my words.
at least i won't deal with it by going off somewhere with a half case.
thanks for the heads up
Administrator
December 3, 2008
Carry The Message!
Carry this message to other alcoholics!
You can help when no one else can.
You can secure their confidence when others fail.
Remember they are very ill.
Life will take on new meaning.
To watch people recover, to see them help others,
to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you,
to have a host of friends -- this is an experience you must not miss.
We know you will not want to miss it.
What this means to me is that I must help others. If they don't ask, there is nothing I can do. If they do ask, I am obligated. There were so many people who helped me in the beginning of my recovery. I was in my darkest hours then. It can't get any darker than that.
Even though life today is no picnic, it's better than where I was. I didn't know how to ask for help, I didn't want help, and I thought I was beyond help. Today, I still have trouble asking for help, sometimes I let my pride get in the way. But that's the foolishness of beeing an alcoholic or in addiction, we deny we need help when we need it most.
As I said, many helped me in the beginning. I could not have done it without them and my willingness to try this concept of "surrender". People continue to help me to this day, sometimes when I least expect it. This blows me away. I am continually amazed by the generosity of people, many whom were once strangers and have become friends.
In this same manner I am obligated to help others. Someone asks, and I must do the best I can to deliver the message. I have to think of the gratitude I have toward those strangers who were williing to help me, and pay it forward. I know there are people reading this who might benefit. Some might read it for entertainment, waiting for me to screw up or whatever. I have already screwed up more than most earth people out there. I take a risk putting all this stuff on the internet, but I don't care. Some have pm'd or emailed me and said this is a good thread. I wish more people might jump in, even if they don't think of themselves as alcoholics, but that's up to them.
Meanwhile, I will try to put the message and these daily thoughts out there. If anyone had any issues they are dealing with, and feels putting it out there is too personal, you can always pm me privately. I will do whatever I can to provide help, advice, or try to give you any resources you need.
Administrator
You said it, Jon. The life of an alcoholic is like a tribute to Murphy's Law sometimes, whatever can go wrong will go wrong. The last 2 days have been one fiasco ofter another for me, but like you said, at least we won't be drinking over it.
I have the same struggles with resentments and jealousies, I think we wouldn't be human if life was perfect for us.
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Jon, Great to see you here! Keep coming back!
Dark, There is a lot of disagreement over various aspects of a twelve step program. I was lucky; I was sick enough and desperate enough to follow advice. It saved my life. We come from different angles on the God aspect of the program. Acknowledging that and putting it aside, agreeing to disagree if you will, there is still a lot I can learn from you. How can I not respect a man who carries a googan bucket with such confidence and dignity?
And you see from this thread that everything in fishing and sobriety, eventually refers back to the bucket.......
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
This is for jonthepain........
Pray for Grace......time to start posting in this thread again.....
Lyrics....Pray for Grace...Michael Fanti and Spearhead
Why must I feel like this today
I'm a soldier but afraid sometimes
To face the things that may
Block the sun from shinin' rays
And fill my life with shades of grey
But still I long to find a way
So today I pray for grace
I take a moment to myself
So I can myself
To feel myself
And be real myself
Life's addictions and afflictions
Cause abrasions from their friction
Sometimes, it's easier to live in fiction
I can run, but I can't hide
From the pains that
Reside deep down inside
There is no pill
That can be swallowed
There is no guru
That can be followed
There's no escapin'
From my own history
Those that I hurt,
And those that hurt me
I was dead for a million years
'Fore I was born and
I'll be dead for a million more
After I'm gone
So I live, to give somethin'
That can live on
Like the way you hum a song when the music's gone
Like the warmth on the sand
When the sun goes down
And I'm sittin' with myself
Nobody else is around but,
(chorus)
Been a long, long time
Since I been away
Been a long, long time
Since I felt this way
Been a long, long time
I found the words to say
How much I'm grateful
For my life today
'Cause under every cup
You might find a nut
Behind every corner
You might get jacked up
At the end of every rainbow,
You might find gold
The last bite of your sandwich,
Hope you don't find mould
'Cause none of us
Can live the perfect life
The kind that we see on nick at night
And sometimes, we all
Just lose sight
Of the pain that will guide us
From dark into the light
We fall down yes, but we get up,
And sometimes we just need
A little bit of love
To help make it
Through another day
Into the night, into the light,
Into a Saturday
So in the morning when I'm waitin'
For the sun to raise
And my head's a little foggy
Like I'm in a haze
I remind myself that
Everything is gonna be okay
I take a breath, slow down and say....
Senior Member
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
well said.
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Serenity Prayer...
God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change.
Strength to Change the things I can.
And the Wisdom, to know the Difference....
Change.... from the ITR daily feed....
"I cannot change without thinking.
This saying makes you ponder. It is a thought that challenges us to think outside of the box. It forces us into explanation. You cannot really change something without first understanding what it is you want to change. "
***********
Change, and our everyday lives.....
Many of us complain about the monotony of an everyday, boring life....we allow ourselves at times to get into a rut....
This can happen with work, family, relationships with friends, even the recreational activities we like...if we do things the same way each time, it is easy to think..."Hey, I'm bored here, is that all there is to life?"
For addicts and alcoholics, routine is good.
In our addictions, we had many bad habits. Some not related to drinking or drugs, but related to behavior.
Breaking the cycle of alcoholism/addiction involves removing alcohol and drugs.
It also involves identifying those bad habits and moving forward to break them...
I think these words may also apply not only to those struggling with addiction, but with life as well.....
The routine that many of us complain about..yes it can get boring, and mundane.....
In a way, humans are creatures of habit...some of us grow to accept and embrace the routine...because it provides us a sense of comfortability....
I understand that....the comfortability of knowing you have a job, or a home, or people who love you, in your circle of the world, is very powerful.....
It can also act as a buffer from the terrible things going on at times in the outside world.
However, there are times in life when we need to change, for ourselves....to make the move to the next level...whether it be emotionally, professionally, financially, or just giving ourselves more opportunities to find the things that make us really happy....
I'm kind of in that situation right now....
Stuck in the comfortability of the past...
Slowly pushing myself to take on different challenges and opportunities....
At times it is daunting....I honestly don't want to do it...
As much as I am hungry for other opportunities, and say I want a better life for myself...I still have the character defect of procrastination...and hanging on to the comfortability of the past......
There are times in life when you have to recognize that the reality you are in today...is not your future...
If you are depressed or feeling down, there is almost always a better way, if you are willing to plan, and work your plan....
The passage from ITR above kind of touches on that...and hence the reason for my thoughts today...
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
If anyone else is feeling that way, or has felt that way...don't despair...
The only final chapter in life is death....if you recognize and accept that, you know that every day you can write a new chapter....
Today, you can change your life....
As I change my life and some of the bad habits I've fallen into, I'll try to talk about it here....
I know others get a lot out of these posts.
I stopped posting so much in this thread because I didn't think it was making a difference...but then all of a sudden I started getting PMs of encouragement...finally understanding that even though this thread helps me at times, it also helps others, who would prefer to remain anonymous....
That's ok...you can always comment if you feel like it....no stigmas are attached to posting in this thread.....
This thread is as much about life, and our struggles with it, as it is about alcoholism and addiction....
If my words have been an inspiration to some, as evidenced by the PMs, I thank you for the kind words you have sent....
And just remember, in your darkest hours, you are not alone.
If you can manage to reach out to others...some will heed the call....and tomorrow can be a better day......
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Bump in case anyone has an interest in reading this thread...and what alcoholism and addiction has done to some of us...and a little about the recovery process....
If anyone has further questions...feel free to contact me in private for some confidential advice...If I can help, I will....
Senior Member
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. Although I have used drugs in the past I am no means an ex addict. I don not say that in a proud or boastful way but in a thankfulness way. It just never stuck with me. But the real reason I am posting is because like your first post where you say your (I am paraphrasing) life is an open book. I pretty much live my life the same way. I appreciate others that do also. Now sometimes that gets me into trouble, but I feel that if I am open others may be able to realize that they are not alone. We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. .......We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!
Rob, well-said.......we all struggle with something. No one is perfect other than the one who Created the Human Race....Our Father in Heaven.......
As for your 21 year old daughter,,,,although I don't have children of my own...I've seen a lot of ups and downs with kids over the years....21 is a very difficult age....thankfully past the late teen years, a little on the way to maturity...but not that far along...still lots of bumps in the road for her to handle......
IMO too many parents try to be friends to their children and are afraid to be strong, afraid of confrontation....and in the long run, IMO this does not benefit the child....too many mixed signals. Coupled with the apathy and permissiveness of society today, I sometimes feel kind of sad that the work ethic and measure of respect we had for older folks when I and you grew up seems to be somewhat lacking.....
I have confidence everything will turn out well between you two....Rob....you seem to be a good Dad who cares a lot about his children....give it time....and eventually she will come around...
Senior Member
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
I think daughters don't reach the age of real maturity till they are 24 or 25. Sons not until they are 30. rob you have a ways to go.
Senior Member
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Thanks DS. You know one thing I have learned as a parent is that I don't know poop! All I hope for with my oldest is that she will mature and come to her senses enough that we can have a relationship. I am adjusting my approach with my 2 next daughters and try to always keep communication open with them. My Son is 9 and so far he is the bomb diggidy. He is such a good boy. I am proud of my children and am never to proud to say I am sorry. In the end you can only do what you can do and hope for the best. If my thoughts seems all over the place is because my 16 year old daughter is staring at me because she wants me to drive her to her friends house, lol!
Thanks for ruining my night!
Senior Member
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
luckily it's the wife that ends up driving my 16 yr old daughter most times. but we usually end up driving 20 or 30 miles out of our way on date night in order to pick her up.
my three sons practically raised themselves (28, 24, and 20) but my little girl... that's another story lol
but in all fairness, she's much better now than she was a year ago
Administrator
Re: One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?
Ok time for a girl's perspective.
1st and foremost, girls always think that Dad's do not have a clue about what they are feeling. Girls are all about feelings.
They worry about what boys think of her, what her friends think of her, is she dressed "hot enough", is her eye make-up on evenly, or if her hair is perfect! That does not even begin to touch on the very important body image. Am I too skinny, am I too fat, are my hips too big or my breasts too small!
Your body is changing, hormones are raging and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!!!
The materialistic side will say, "Oh my God I have nothing to wear." The shirt is too long, the shorts are too long, the dress is too long. Those earrings don't match that outfit. The heels are not high enough, or the wrong color. OR shoes are not "in" -- I must have a pair of UGG Boots, lined in fur to wear on a hot 90 degree day!
School is nothing but a social society, where they are judged for everything from what they wear, to how they walk, to what boys like them and what boys they like.
They worry about what if he doesn't hold my hand to -- should I kiss him. If they don't kiss him will he ask them out again. What if they kiss him and he wants more? What if they want to kiss him and he does not want to kiss them.
They have pressure of their friends asking how far they "Went" and the boys trying to get around the bases.
On top of all that they have to deal with us parents.
"What are you doing?
Who are you talking to?
Where are you going?
What time will you be home?
Is your homework done?
You have too much make-up on, that dress is too short, pull down your shirt, UGG boots in the summer? UGG!!!
Don't go kissing the boys, it can lead to bad things. Leave the bases on the baseball field, don't let the boys go running around them.
The bottom line here is that our kids are the most important gift of our lives. We do the best we can and that includes not being their friend, but being their parent. Being very careful to choose the right battles to fight. Letting them make their own mistakes knowing that you have done your best. If your kids don't talk back, help you when you need it, and love you despite of all the trials and tribulations, then you have won their respect and they have yours.
No one is perfect, but we all try.
Don't forget they all grow up and end up taking care of us. The way we treat our parents is an excellent example to our kids. As we want respect from our kids, we need to give respect to our parents. Don't yell at them, be kind. It is the circle of life.
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