One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

Over 37,000 views and still growing....

When I first started this thread I had no real expectations of its potential..
Along the way I've learned a few things...

* Many folks tune in here anonymously.
* Some seem to get good benefits from it,. and are incredulous in some of the e-mails I get...asking me if I'm not embarassed being so candid...

* I was more embarassed passing out drunk and high, on the floors of public restrooms, passing out in public places, and losing the trust and respect of family, friends, and loved ones.
* In my sobriety these embarassments are not common anymore...yet I still have the issues many people have in their lives, so I don't mind being open and honest about them...
* I also don't mind when good friends like Finchaser and others here bust balls about me having smelly waders, smelling like bunker, or clams, being a GOOGAN,....or not taking a shower for 2 days....it's all good....



The thing that pushes me to continue posting is that I see a lot of people benefiting from this thread, not just alcoholics or addicts....compulsive behavior can come in many disguises, even fishing...





















One of the latest e-mails I got thanked me profusely for this thread, said they weren't an alcoholic but it was part of their family history......
I want folks to know these e-mails are always anonymous unless you request or allow me to post up part of it as a help to others...your confidentiality and my discretion is something you can count on....

And if there's any way I can help folks out there anonymously, with suggestions for meetings, advice, etc, feel free to contact me at any time....part of my recovery is I must try to help those in similar situations when asked......

To the latest person who sent me the encouraging e-mail.....they will recognize themselves because I told them I would be mentioning this....thanks for the words of encouragement, and feel free to call me anytime there is something I might be able to advise you on.....


Remember that you are a person of good character, whose words also mean a lot to folks in your circle....a lot of them can benefit from your wisdom....

Best wishes to all, and remember that the lives we live will always have their ups and downs.....the key to survival is to learn how to ride them out......



Thanks for reading , folks......

[storminsteve]

* I also don't mind when good friends like Finchaser and others here bust balls about me having smelly waders, smelling like bunker, or clams, being a GOOGAN,....or not taking a shower for 2 days....it's all good....



The thing that pushes me to continue posting is that I see a lot of people benefiting from this thread, not just alcoholics or addicts....compulsive behavior can come in many disguises, even fishing...

Glad you don't mind the ball busting, because I enjoy doing it, knowing that you won't ban me.

Keep up the good work.

[dogfish]

Good job, DS.

[DarkSkies]

Glad you don't mind the ball busting, because I enjoy doing it, knowing that you won't ban me.

Keep up the good work.

Who sez I won't ban ya, Steve?


I ban an average of 5 idiots a week..(mostly spammers who got through our filters)...one of the recent ones registered as "A**Clown".
He couldn't understand why he was immediately banned before he got a chance to post... and was pretty incensed that I banned him.....I really don't have the time to Mod this site like I used to, so if someone looks like they will be a potential problem, I have no problem removing them first, and then letting them state their case.

I don't want to get into the mentality here that I see on some other sites, the incessant whining and self-entitlement.
Our members deserve better than that.....
There are no "Mod Que" or Infraction points here....if people are going to be attacking others we don't want them ....I have gotten a lot of e-mails thanking us for the way we do things here, so I know I'm doing the right thing.....


But you, Steve....you're the King of Poetic Verses and Crazy Stories....guess I have to give ya a little leeway....




******

For Today.....

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.
--Mortimer Adler

In some areas of our lives we are right on target. Our level of maturity is exactly as it should be, and we are going through the stages that people of our age ought to be going through. In other areas, this is not so. We are complex people, irregular, uneven. In all of us there are areas fixated in some emotional ice age, areas that have not felt the freeing warmth of the sun.

We cannot expect ourselves to move forward all at once. Not only is it okay to move slowly - it's often the only way it can be. Confusion, conflict, or pain may have caused us to let our memories or feelings be frozen safely away. This has been a long process, and we can allow ourselves more time to heal. The task now is not to deny or hide from these changes, but to have confidence that the healing warmth of the program will reflect on all areas of our lives and help make us whole.

I am thankful I am given both time and patience in which to continue my growth.



*******
I think the passages above are ok to follow, as long as we don't use that "moving slowly" concept as a crutch. Life is meant to be lived, with all its ups and downs, all its successes and failures. Failing at things is perfectly ok as long as we learn from it.

[DarkSkies]

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
--Joseph Fort Newton

Remember building snow forts? After a sticky snowfall we'd build a big snow wall. Then we'd mass-produce snowballs, preparing for battle. The team who built the best snow fort usually won, for their wall provided the best protection.

Are we still playing snow fort when we meet new people or spend time with family? Each of us has a wall we started building in our childhood. Each time we were hurt, we would fortify the wall to offer greater protection. We may not even realize it now, but we may have such strong, high walls in front of us that even the most ardent friends can't get over them.

We may feel protected behind our wall, but we may also feel lonely. Walls are built to keep people out. To feel less lonely, we need to make a little crawl space to let people in. We don't have to destroy our walls in one day, but perhaps we can let at least one person in. We will learn, one person at a time, what it feels like to be less protected, and less lonely.

I can make an opening in my wall of protection and let someone get to know me. I will be safe.








********
I was having a conversation with a friend a while ago. I'm hoping they will see these words and think about what I asked them......
They related they had always been shy....my point to them was that as we get older in life, we may start to see that being shy prevents us from letting people in to our lives, and could prevent us from realizing our true potential.

This also relates to me as well. Until I was 17, I was painfully shy.(I know it's probably hard for folks to believe, but I was )..the bookworm kid who brought home armfuls of books home every night to study.

Books and studying were my world. I remember winning a contest for reading the most books and doing reports on them...in those books I got to see worlds other than my own...and developed a thirst for travelling and adventure....still, the shyness persisted, until I found drugs and alcohol....these gave me what I referred to as courage to be "who I really was"

In my sobriety I learned that drugs and alcohol can give us a false sense of courage, and that the inner person, who we really are....is often something that will develop, if we give it a chance and learn to interact successfully with others....For me, part of doing that is having a genuine interest in their lives....





So for those out there who are shy, or consider themselves to be the "quiet type".....I agree that sometimes it's good to know when to shut your mouth....

But if there is something you feel passionately about, and you are keeping silent for fear others might know more than you.......you may be missing out on a chance to express yourself...and may regret it later.....food for thought.

[DarkSkies]

Each day is different and has a surprise in it, like a Cracker Jack box.
--Alpha English

It's interesting to ponder the notion of surprise. Not every one of them is all that welcome. Hearing bad news about a friend or having a special trip we'd been counting on canceled can leave us dismayed and worried, right along with surprised. Seeking solace from others while cultivating a willingness to accept that all things happen for a reason gives us the armor we need to make the best of every situation and disappointment.

It's an interesting image to think of each day as a box of Cracker Jacks. The moments of our lives have been very tasty. Some were sweet, some were a bit salty, and there were always wholly unexpected moments, the surprises that we were ready for even though we may not have imagined as much. We can look forward to the same daily agenda throughout the remaining years.

Does it help to know that there is a divine plan unfolding in our lives? Many of us find comfort in that. All of us can cultivate that belief.

I am ready for my surprise today! It is meant for me at this time.



********
I think the first paragraph says a lot.

Sometimes I don't completely agree with these readings, and you can count on me for my honesty in telling you how I feel.

I think it's niave to think of life as like a Cracker Jack box.
There are some surprises that are painful, and can hit us like a gut punch.
Some "surprises" will end up changing our lives, often for the worst...
Will we survive them? How bad will our lives be if the one closest to us dies in a tragic accident, or has a terminal illness?

I think the thing to focus on here, for me, is that we can do that with the support of others.
We can survive, and we will.

I think the "Life as a bowl of cherries" analogy works best here...
Enjoy live, taste it's sweetness, savor it...but be prepared to deal with the pits, because they are part of life as well.

[DarkSkies]

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
--Martha Washington

We all have friends who seem happy even though they run into lots of bad luck. And we all know other people who seem grumpy all the time. Nothing makes them very happy. It's puzzling, but some people have decided, maybe without even knowing it, that life is fun and should be enjoyed. No bit of bad luck has to make us miserable unless we let it.

A broken bike, a lost math assignment, a rained-out picnic are things that might make us miserable. But, we can decide they won't. Feeling happy can be a habit - just like brushing teeth before bedtime.

Will I stop and think today before I let things make me unhappy?




********
This is important. I tend to be a pessimistic person. If I want to achieve something, I mentally prepare myself for the failure. I want the success as well, but grew up with a Dad who always saw the negative side of things. I think the danger for us as addicts and alcoholics is not to let the fear or failure, make the waters of today muddy...we all know how it is to be around people who are continually pessimistic....just watch an episode of "Everyone Loves Raymond" and many of us can relate...so it's important to try to be as positive as well in your dealings with others....

[jonthepain]

Holy Mackeral, 99 pages!

wtg DS!!!