One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

December 4, 2008

Powerless

I did not know that it was physically impossible for me to drink moderately.
I did not know that my body's drinking machinery had worn out,
and that the parts could not be replaced.
I did not know that just one drink made it impossible
for me to control my behavior and conduct and my future drinking.
I did not know, in short, that I was powerless over alcohol.
My family and my friends sensed or knew these things about me
long before I did.




This took me a long time to accept. When I came in the rooms, I was so beaten and depressed I was willing to try, so I listened. Truly understanding the concept was difficult for me. For a long time, I had been independent, made my own money, and made my own decisions. Giving this up to a concept of powerlessness felt funny. It felt stupid. But that's the only way to mmove forward in a positive direction - to admit we are powerless over the addictions that grip us, and seek ways of moving forward with this in mind.

[mick2360]

I thank God for my alcoholism. It caused me to do a lot of harm to others and like dark's post points out, people around me knew the depth of my drinking problem long before I did. After all, I had the anesthesia of alcohol and denial to deaden me to what my behavior was doing to others.

Mostly, I remember the shame. I would black out and say or do things that i didn't recollect. I would have to call a friend and ask what I did or if I owed anyone an apology. I started losing my car and had to get a ride to check my hangouts. I was the life of the party until, more and more, I was the last one standing, watching the sun come up all alone. And there was the sickness, the shakes and the horrible headaches. I started to get up early to hit a bar on the way into work, hanging out with the third shift guys, drinking a beer to kill the shakes and the sickness. It was along way from the good times but I was at it so long it seemed normal.

So why would anyone in their right mind thank God for such a thing? Listen; I wake up in the middle of the night, the hours when I used to be awake drinking and I sit in my wife's sun room. My family is sleeping, trusting in me to take care of them and they have never known me to let them down in a major way. My daughter, who is fifteen has never smelled liquor on my breath, seen me wired on cocaine or zoned out from weed. My wife trusts and loves me. These things were once beyond my comprehension, let alone my grasp. I am blessed and honored by the love of my family today.

Recovery, for me, began with a few false starts but each failure was really a lesson and they built to longer periods between drinks. With the help of AA and a network of sober friends, the weeks stretched into months and then years. If you are just starting, it is a program of trust; trusting that others who have been where you stand can show you the path. Give it a try.

[DarkSkies]

I hear ya, brother. At times my shame was so intense I thought about killiing myself, and figured the easiest ways to do it so there wouldn't be too much of a mess for anyone who came and found me when I was dead. The cycle of addiction and remorse was slowly killing me, and I couldn't stop. Each time I screwed up, crashed a car, or did some other monumentaly stupid thing, I was able to quit for awhile out of fear. Soon after, I was back at it again. The shame worked for awhile, but my addictions always took over again.

Isn't it amazing how some of the simplest things today can cause us to pause, and look at them with gratitude?

Well put, man.

[DarkSkies]

December 5, 2008

Humility

We first reach for a little humility,
knowing that we shall perish of alcoholism if we do not.
After a time, though we may still rebel somewhat,
we commence to practice humility because this is the right thing to do.
Then comes the day when, finally freed in large degree from rebellion,
we practice humility because we deeply want it as a way of life.


This is a great concept to discuss. As alcoholics and addicts, we are powerful. No one can tell us what to do, we know best. Then we screw up, hit another bottom, and feel remorse. But to give up our "powerful" ways of thought, to grasp the concept of powerlessness, to humble ourselves and practice humility, no effen way!

It has been said that ego is one of the biggest obstacles to recovery. I know that for a fact, ego stood in my way for many years. I was only able to practice humility when I was beaten down and at the end of my rope. My way was not working, so I reluctantly was willing to try another.

Yet, I did, and have seen some people die because they wouldn't practice humility and humble themselves. I have seen some of them go out after years of sobriety because they became too powerful for humility. Thankfuully some of them made it back into the rooms, but some did not.

[jonthepain]

We are taught from an early age to have pride - pride in ourselves, our school, our communities, what we do; in short, to be exceedingly prideful individuals. Look out for #1.

Pride killed my best friend. The week before Christmas. He had quit for a season but it got him again and killed him. Damn I miss him, but not half as much as his wife and kids.

mick, that was a beautiful, inciteful post. thanks.

[DarkSkies]

December 6, 2008

Healing Ourselves

We realize now that we were excessively self-centered,
chiefly concerned about our feelings, our problems,
other people's reactions to us, and our own past and future.
Therefore, trying to get into communication with and help other people
is a recovery measure for us, because it helps take us out of ourselves.
Trying to heal ourselves by helping others works,
even when it is an insincere gesture.
Try it some time.

Thought to Ponder....

Trust God. Clean house. Help others.


Some of these thoughts for the day I have been putting up have begun to ring trrue for me. A few days ago I put up a quote about surrender, and last night surrender, character defects and defects of character were talked about. Good stuff, keeps my memory green and reminded me how hard it was for me to surrender. I know I would not have given it a thought if I didn't feel my life was over and I was at the end of my rope.

As for helping others, last night I went to a meeting where I ran into some people I helped. One acknowledged in his story how me and other friends were there for him through thick and thin. The story made me feel good because there were times I almost gave up on helping, it didn't seem like he wanted to help himself.

I also saw some familiar faces of people I used to run with, and now they're sober and working the program. One friend thanked me, said it was due to me he came into the rooms. I feel uncomfortable someone putting that on my head.

God's in charge, I told my friend the reason I tried to help him was selfish - I ddn't want to see another friend die. I've seen too many friends and acquaintances die from this disease and the problems related to it. I know many more will die, but I'm tired of seeing it among those I know. Not when there is hope in the form of meetings, step work, and recovery.

It felt good to hear some of the familiar phrases. Some have viewed them as brainwashing, whatever. They do make sense to me. They're common sense ideas, wrapped in the principles of the program.

One of them is:
If you do what you always did, you'll get what ya always got. Simple, but effective.


I will always try to help a suffering alcoholic or addict who asks.
Help someone today if you can, and help make the world a better place. Too much anger and resentment out there.

[jimmy z]

My name is Jimmy, I have 11 years, 3 months, and 13 days clean and sober.

[mick2360]

My name is Jimmy, I have 11 years, 3 months, and 13 days clean and sober.

Hey Jimmy! Welcome. It is really nice to see you here.

[DarkSkies]

Hey Jimmy Z what's up! Thanks for stopping by.

[DarkSkies]

AA Thought for the Day

December 7, 2008

Source of Strength

When World War II broke out, this spiritual principle had its first major test.
AA's entered the services and were scattered all over the world.
Would they be able to take discipline, stand up under fire,
and endure the monotony of war?
Would the kind of dependence they had learned in AA carry them through?
Well, it did. They had even fewer alcoholic lapses or emotional binges
than AA's safe at home did.
Whether in Alaska or on the Salerno beachhead,
their dependence upon a Higher Power worked.
And far from being a weakness,
this dependence was their chief source of strength.


Thought to Ponder....

A Green Beret's Prayer:
LORD let me be . . .
Wise enough to know when I am wrong,
Strong enough to see where I am weak,
and Brave enough to face myself when I am afraid.



I like the above prayer. Kinda like the serenity prayer, but with the added line about fear. For me, fear is a good motivator and thing to have. As a fisherman, you need to have fear of the sea, especially when out by yourself at night. Too many fellow fishermen have been taken by the sea this year and last.

As a recovering alcoholic or addict, I need to have fear of what my life could become if I don't keep my memory green, one day at a time. I tend to stay away from talking about how much recovery time I have, don't want to jinx myself. I have seen friends who have years of recovery go out again, so you never know how this disease will affect you. It really is cunning, baffling, and powerful. The only disease that tells you you don't have a disease. Fear is a good thing to keep in mind. When we are so powerful we are not aware we should have fear, I think that becomes dangerous.

Thanks to all the soldiers who have served our country, and are serving now. Where would we be without them?

[DarkSkies]

December 8, 2008

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as
the quality of it. A person who has been in A.A. for a number
of years may not be in as good mental condition as a person
who has only been in a few months. It is a great
satisfaction to have been an A.A. member for a long time
and we often mention it. It may sometimes help the newer
members, because they may say to themselves, if they can do
it I can do it. And yet the older members must realize
that as long as they live they are only one drink away
from a drunk. What is the quality of my sobriety?

Meditation For The Day

"And greater works than this shall ye do." We can do
greater works when we have more experience of the new way
of life. We can have all the power we need from the Unseen
God. We can have His grace, His spirit, to make us effective
as we go along each day. Opportunities for a better world
are all around us. Greater works can we do. But we do not
work alone. The power of God is behind all good works.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may find my rightful place in the world.
I pray that my works may be made more effective by the
grace of God.



________________________

[DarkSkies]

The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as the quality of it.


I think the above thoughts make a lotta sense. We can jinx ourselves by focusing too much on how much time we have under our belts. After all, the program is one day at a time.

Some of the quality of recovery is said to come from working the steps. I did mine, but I could always benefit from re-visiting them. Looking at things again, after a few years of sobriety, helps to put things in different perspectibe. It's good to have that perspective today, and be able to accept things that people in the program tell me. It's free advice, and they want to help you through constructive feeddback, if you are willing.

[jonthepain]

good to see you jimmy

[DarkSkies]

A friend sent me this thought today. 2 years ago he was a walking corpse, and now he chairs a meeting, is working the program. He just celebrated 2 years. Good deal, I'm proud of him.




Make a difference

Your time is never wasted when you're truly making a difference. Every productive effort adds value to your world.

Don't worry about what's in it for you. If you're making a difference, if you're making a positive contribution to life, there's always something in it for you.
Though there may not seem to be any direct or immediate rewards, your efforts will most certainly be rewarded. The longer you're willing to wait for those rewards, the bigger they will be.
Many times your efforts will pay off in ways you could not have foreseen. Keep being creative, keep being productive, keep being effective, and keep being your best.
It may sometimes seem that no one appreciates the work you're doing. When you feel that way, then raise your efforts to an even higher level, for at some point someone will definitely take notice.
Be sincere in your efforts and in your desire to make a valuable, meaningful positive difference. And know that the rewards will always come.

[jimmy z]

I truly believe, " ya can't keep it, unless ya give it away" . There comes a point and time in recovery, when enough knowledge is acquired by one, to help the newcomers. Work the steps, and as always, meeting makers, make it.

[DarkSkies]

^ Hey Jimmy, it's interesting you would say that, because today's thought for the day is "Pass it on" Ya must be psychic.


December 9, 2008

Pass It On

I'll never forget the first time I met Bill Wilson.
I was a couple of months sober
and so excited, so thrilled to actually meet the co-founder
that I gushed all over him with what my sobriety meant to me
and my undying gratitude for his starting AA.
When I ran down, he took my hand in his and said simply,
'Pass it on.'




I try to do this whenever I can. There is a fine line beteewn passing and preaching. Some people do not want to hear, or are not ready for, the message and the practices and principles. That's ok. Some people have known me for years, and out of the blue called and said: "Hey, that AA thing you're involved in, does it really work? What's it all about?" That's the time for me to pass it on, and of course, whenever I meet a newcomer at a meeting.

[dogfish]

I like what you guys are doing here. I don't feel like going into detail right now, but you are helping people. Keep up the good work.

[jonthepain]

That's what it's all about.

[jimmy z]

Hi Rich, They are some basic fundamental principles that I believe, and use in my daily walk.

[DarkSkies]

December 10, 2008

Humility

On his desk, Dr. Bob had a plaque defining humility:
"Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble.
It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore;
to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.
It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised,
it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door
and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness,
when all around and about is seeming trouble."

Thought to Ponder....

The storm has passed. I've learned a little more about peace.
It was inside all the time.


"Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble.
It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore;
to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me...


I would say that the above quote is what I have had the most difficulty with. It's better for me now than it once was, but it's still a struggle sometimes. Never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore... wow what a concept! The people I admire the most have a good handle on humility. They lead their lives by example, and I admire that example. As for me, I would say I am able to achieve that maybe 50% of the time. This is one area where I definitely need work.