One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

Rip plugger sent me this, thanks Roddy!

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,




...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

[DarkSkies]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

How we treat other people comes back to us – always.

Offering others understanding and compassion changes how we perceive the world around us on a daily basis. Our acts of love inspire love from others. What we send out to the people who share our path changes, ever so subtly, the complexion of each life we touch. In fact, the whole world is changed by even the tiniest of acts.

The simple truth is, our own attitudes often determine what kind of experiences we'll have. Anger and resentment won't bring us peace. Suspicion and accusation will backfire. Most of us have tried to control all the people and all the experiences in our lives. And we have failed. Now we are realizing that the love that comes back to us is the love that we express.

I will feel love today from at least one person if I offer it to many.

todaysgift@hazelden.info


From the Beatles:
"The love you take, is equal to the love you make..."

Even 40 years ago people knew that.

[stripermania]

Your're right about that. Goodness can come back to you at anytime when you least expect it.

[DarkSkies]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Returning to Basics

Now and then, an AA discussion focuses on the theme of "returning to the basics." This is a good time to shake out the excessive concerns that might be cluttering up our lives.

No matter how long we've been living in sobriety, we can never afford to dismiss the basic reasons we came to AA in the first place. We had made a mess of our lives, and no human power could relieve our alcoholism. By accepting and admitting this, we were able to find a new way of life.

This was also our admission ticket to the larger society, where people are concerned about many things. We sometimes become too caught up in all these concerns, even to the extent of forgetting our own needs. It's good, occasionally, to focus a meeting on AA basics. They are as essential today as they were when we first knew that we needed them.

I'll remind myself today that the basics give me a firm foundation on which to stand.

todaysgift@hazelden.info

The basics:
Just had great call with an old friend today. My life was in shambles 25 years ago and family life had exploded. The dysfunctionality had reached its breaking point. I had just gotten clean and sober. My brother was still using, hardcore, manipulative as usual, and off the wall. He manufactured a story because he couldn't get his way, and called police to the house. Even though he was lying, under the DVA act they had to separate us. My Mom blindly sided with him, and I had to leave.

This is so effin unfair! I told myself. I'm the good son, I do all the stuff that's needed around here, why do I have to pay the price for someone else's addiction? Boy was I indignant. My family had decided to choose sides, couldn't they see they were listening to a liar? Who would come to my defense so I could prove the injustice!!

Turns out, no one did.

I had nowhere to go, was working in a grocery store making $120/week, not enough to get an apt. And I was still going to school, all my money went to pay for that. So I was stuck, seemingly without options.

Then I got a call from a friend. He said: "Yeah, I heard about the problems you're having over there. Don't sweat it, you're gonna come and live with me and my family. I already talked to them about it, we can give ya a room in the basement. Ya just gotta pay your share of the utility bills.

I couldn't believe my ears! Here was my lifeline, I grabbed it.

I was so grateful for that lifeline. His parents were very good to me. I will always remember that period in my life. It allowed me to get some space from my family until I could figure out a new plan.



His parents weren't there a lot. They had another small house down South they were fixing up for their retirement, so they were gone every weekend. It was the ultimate bachelor pad, a few parties and wild times.

We lived on a budget. Once a week we went shopping. We had to make our money last. He called today and reminded me of those lean times. Most people when making broccoli chop off the floret part and part of the stalk. Rest goes in the trash. Well I didn't want to waste the stalk. I would shop it up in slices in a food processor. I then steamed/blanched the sliced stalk for about 5 mins. Then back out where I made a "stalk salad" out of it with vinegar, oil, oregano, salt, pepper, and lots of garlic!

I used to cook with so much garlic I coulda been an honorary Italian!

Anyway, that's the story for today. He was cookin for his family today and was reminded of the lean times when we ate that broccoli stalk salad and liked it, or else! There was a time in his life when he went back into his addiction and almost died a few times. Now he's been clean and sober for a few years. The phone calls are less, but the friendship is still the same.

He said times have now come full circle. The economy is terrible, and neither of us has the income we once had. Times are lean for both of us, times are lean for everyone. We're still grateful for what we have. It could always be worse.

J, thanks for everything, ya made my day!

For anyone else out there who thinks you're at the end of your rope this holiday season, I wanted to tell you there's always hope.

[jonthepain]

Hey it's great to get those calls once in a while, makes us count our blessings, doesn't it?

Merry Christmas, Rich, and God bless.

[rip316]

well said!!!!!

[jonthepain]

The holidays used to be the most miserable time for me. It was hard to find times I could sneak off by myself and pound as many as possible without getting caught by various family members, much less maintain around them while plastered.

What a difference sobriety makes. Now I actually like being around them.

[DarkSkies]

^^ And we like having ya around Jon. Your wit and personality adds to this world we live in.



Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Taking the first step helps bridge the gulf between our dreams and our accomplishments.

Whether the project is cleaning the garage, building a cathedral, or recovering from an addiction, plans must be translated into action. In order to arrive at our destination, we must begin the trip. We can read hundreds of college catalogs, but it's when we register for a course, buy a textbook, and begin to study that we are on our way to a degree.

Two factors inhibit our beginning a project. The first is lack of clear motivation, and the second is fear of failure. If we don't really want to do something, it's hard to get started. So, if motivation is a problem, we may need to reconsider our choice of projects.

As for fear of failure, this may be something that we step over and around as we move forward. It is not a good reason for aborting a dream. If, in spite of fear of failure, we make a beginning, we will find that the fear shrinks with every step we take. Action is the catalyst. We learn how to do something by doing it.

I will take the first step toward accomplishing a dream today by getting started.

todaysgift@hazelden.info


This thread has meaning to me not only because it's a great bunch of advice for alcoholics to read, but also because often there are passages in here for regular people who don't have any of our addictions. I think the above reading is one of those, Good stuff.

[rip316]

Good for you darkskies. Keep up the good work. I know how you feel. I have grown up with it and fight the demons everyday as well. You are definitely not alone.

[DarkSkies]

I have grown up with it and fight the demons everyday as well. You are definitely not alone.

Hey RIP, everyone is welcome in this thread. Responding doesn't mean one has a problem or not. Thanks for the good words.

That being said, I'm always available via PM, e-mail, or cell phone 24/7 if someone has any issues or questions about AA/NA that they want answered in confidence. No matter how bad you think it is, I've either been through it already, or seen it. The worst mistake one can make is NOT picking up the phone because they don't think their problem is bad enough yet. Don't hesitate to get in touch.

********************************

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

"All too often," confesses a gal, "I get so caught up in hurry and worry that I ignore my own needs. I push myself so hard to get this and that done that I make myself physically ill before I have the sense to rest. There's got to be a better way!"

Some of us, it seems, have to learn the importance of rest and relaxation the hard way. We push ourselves to the limit, often to the point of illness or injury. Before we allow ourselves to stop.

We can avoid this vicious circle if we realize our limitations. One of those limitations is found in the law of "Supply and Demand." We cannot meet demands if we have depleted our resources. Just as a fire cannot burn without fuel, so our bodies and minds cannot function without food and rest.

Today – before I drive myself to the point of complete exhaustion, I will set aside as much time as I need to fill my depleted energies. I will get more rest, participate in an enjoyable activity, or have an inspiring conversation with a friend to renew my strength and courage.


todaysgift@hazelden.info



The highlighted part describes me sometimes. I often push myself. Over the years I have come to understand a better sense of balance. However everything is relative. Those around me would say I still push myself too much. By now, I have to accept that's part of who I am.

[DarkSkies]

Time to shake things up a bit with some humor. If you can manage to be grateful for something wherever you go, you're on the right path to recovery. Every cloud has a silver lining, right?






Quote of the Day:
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.





Subject: : A Motivational Thought for the Day!!!





This little animal is called the Naked
Mole Rat and is from North Africa.





So if you are having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself,
remember:

You could look like a penis with buck teeth.

[jonthepain]

One of the harder lessons I've (sort of) learned in 28 yrs of marriage is that the wife is not necessarily looking for me to "fix" things when she comes to me with issues from her day.

Letting the rest of the family fend for themselves has been much easier.

oh, and btw, Dark, it IS all your fault

[porgy75]

People who are constantly blaming everyone else for their failures. People who can't stand on their own 2 feet and move forward, and always seem to have an excuse from the "alcoholic's classic book of excuses". People who won't consider an objective view no matter how much discussion there is.


If you have any issues like that in family or friends, you have to learn to deal with it. Sometimes you have to concentrate on your own life and let your family fend for themselves. Take yourself out of the equation if the stress is too much. Focus on the path you're taking. Your sanity will be much better in the long-run.

I seem to have some similar problems in my family. I often find that when I look deep within myself that I am part of problem. I need to work on myself first before I pass judgement on others.

[DarkSkies]

I seem to have some similar problems in my family. I often find that when I look deep within myself that I am part of problem. I need to work on myself first before I pass judgement on others.

Right you are Porgy. Working on ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. Ranting and raving about others is infinitely easier.

[jonthepain]

...and giving them a little slack,...

I'm glad you said that;

when I was in high school, one of the popular phrases was "hey cut me some slack."

I sure need people to cut me some slack, now more than ever. But I wonder if I'm giving slack? I don't think so. It seems like the older I get, the less slack I give. Getting old and set in my ways, or acquiring wisdom via experience, I dunno, but I definitely give less slack now than I ever did.

So even if I know better, shouldn't I just cut people some slack, even if I "know" better, through experience or whatever?

Maybe today I'll try to bite my tongue more often.

[jonthepain]

Ironically enough, a friend of mine sent this to me today:

> BURNED BISCUITS
> When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every
> now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made
> breakfast after a long, hard day at work.
> On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and
> extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see
> if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile
> at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't Remember what I
> told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and
> jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
> When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom
> apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what
> he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
> Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he
> really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,
> Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And
> besides, a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
> Life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the
> best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just
> like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that
> learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each
> others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a
> healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
> And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the
> good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet
> of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give
> you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
> We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the
> base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or
> friendship! "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's
> pocket - keep it in your own."
> God Bless You..... Now, and Always....
> So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just
> fine.!.!.!.! And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched
> your life... I just did!

jonthepain

[DarkSkies]

Hey Jon that was something I needed to see for today. I'm pretty demanding of myself.

I don't know how to turn off that intensity sometimes when I'm around others. Those words of wisdom are not only good for people struggling with alcohol or drug issues, but also people meeting the challenges of everyday life. No one's perfect, we all make mistakes. Lately I seem to be making more than my share, but I'll keep tryin.

Thanks for the good words at just the right time. Even though I think you look like a reformed hippie I love ya anyway. God bless and look over you and your family.

[jonthepain]

Even though I think you look like a reformed hippie

rofl didn't know it was so obvious

[DarkSkies]

Hmmm, you shaved off the mutton chops and now no longer look like a member of the hippie generation, so I'll have to retract my statement!











Is that you in the middle of the audience here?




Or you coulda been the stand-in bass player for Grand Funk Railroad or Steppenwolf...






Or the drummer for CCR?















Now you look like your ordinary hunter with the camo gear. Shave the facial hair and we might be able to get ya a supporting role if they ever re-do Taxi Driver.

(Hey ya know I was just kiddin, that's the way I usually look at the fishin shows, my camo jacket goes everywhere with me. I even get to wash it once a month. )

[jonthepain]

I was going to post a reply to that post but