One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

A friend sent me this yesterday



DID YOU READ YOUR JUST FOR TODAY ?
are you living in the problem today?
try living in the solution !, if you dont Know how find
a winner and stick to him till the change from being an
alcoholic changes to being a recovering alcoholic ,enjoying life as god intended

Tru Humility-
is there realy GOOD and BAD ?
no
only lessons.

[DarkSkies]

December 11, 2008

Instincts

Our desires for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power,
for romance, and family satisfactions --
all these have to be tempered and redirected. . .
If we place instincts first, we have got the cart before the horse;
we shall be pulled backward into disillusionment.
But when we are willing to place spiritual growth first --
then and only then do we have a real chance.



Thought to Ponder....

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional,
growing spiritually is up to you.





I don't know about you others out there, but this is a tough one for me. My whole life, personal and business, has been based on instincts. I meet someone, and have about 5 minutes to size them up. This is important when you are hiring someone for a job or thinking which relationships might develop into friendships. It's a survival tool to help avoid mistakes. So it's tough to read this here, and they talk about putting those instincts aside in favor of spirituality, or at least that's how I read it.


There are some people who have more spirituality than me, who I look up to. These peole seem to be able to weather any storm, and are on a more even keel than I am. I admire that, and try to emulate it as best I can.

But I fail, I can't seem to jump that bridge of faith. The lesssons of me growing up have taught me that instincts is the first thing I reach for, I feel they help keep me centered and prevent disappointment.


I always had a problem with putting blind faith in anything. If anyone out there feels that way or can shed some light on how this works for them, I would appreciate hearing about it. I still have much to learn.

[jimmy z]

Two words come to mind. I believe.
Now the rest is up to me. Eleven plus years ago, I learned that a baby has to crawl, before it can walk. Today, I believe.

[DarkSkies]

AA Thought for the Day

December 12, 2008

The Merry-Go-Round

I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep up much longer,
but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks,
utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed --
I looked to all these as the source of my problems,
while overlooking the most basic problem; my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round,
but I had no idea how to do it.



Thought to Ponder....

I can't start doing what's right until I stop doing what's wrong.





I can definitely identify with that. I felt I was on a merry go round that wouldn't stop. The same behavior yeilded the same results. I kept promising myself I would quit, usually after something bad happen. I would crash a car, get into some trouble and wake up with steel bracelets on, fight with my family or girlfriend and have no memory of it when I woke up, only to have the night's events repeated to me, and thinking I was finally fed up with my behavior.

This time I would quit! I would really do it, I was finally motivated! Then 2 weeks later I would be doing the same thing, disappointing family, frieeds, and ruining the relationships that mattered the most to me.

I couldn't get off the merry go round till I was ready to surrender. This was a very difficult concept for me - what the eff was I surrendering to? Only losers surrendered, I was a man, in charge of my life, no way I would surrender to some stupid brainwashing!

As things got worse, and I became more beaten down from all the bad things I was doing, I hit bottom and came to a realization that I couldn't live my life that way anymore. It was too painful, too embarassing, and the pain became too great. Alcohol or drugs couldn't deaden it anymore, I was miserable every day with or without the marsmallow cushion.

So I gave up,, and said, let me at least try this thing "surrender". I was tired, sick, and sick of being sick and tired. It was time to try something else. I'm glad I did, or I wouldn't be here today.

[dogfish]

I know that merry go round, It's not fun.

[DarkSkies]

Merry go round - went to a new meeting last night, an old friend runs it. Some newcomers came up to me after, and we talked about them coming in and out, they're having trouble with surrender. I felt bad for them,. but at the same time asked them if they hadn't had enough pain yet. They were talking about the same merry go reound the daily thought referenced above.

If they want help it's there, all you gotta do is ask. Some of us are too proud to ask, because alcohol and drugs are fun. Even when they're not fun anymore, they're comfortable, and some people keep hanging on and beating their heads against the wall.

I can't do anything about that, becasue I did the same thing for years. Everyone gets sober in their own time, keep comin back.

[DarkSkies]

A little late on the AA daily quote, sorry.





December 13, 2008

A New Dimension

In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled.
Yet when we admit complete defeat
and when we become entirely ready to try AA principles,
our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension --
freedom under God as we understand Him.





I resisted the God thing for so many years, even though I grew up with God and the church in my life, I felt God had abandoned me. Through my dysfunctional eyes I saw the church as money grubbing dogma, and an organization that in some instances couldn't control the pedophelia.

This is God? I kept asking myself, what a frikkin bunch of hyppocrates!

In the beginning of my recovery, I was exposed to some family that are Christians. This allowed my cynical nature further chances to question God. The way I understand Christian beliefs, you will not be saved unlss you follow specific steps. What about the Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and the Indian tribes of the world that worship God according to their different beliefs, none of which is acceptable to Christian beliefs?

I gradually realized that by looking for reasons why religiojn, or some religions, seemed to be hypocritical, I was pushing away the comcept of spirituality. In the last 20 years, I have met some people with deep spiritual convictions. Some of them in the outside world, some of them in the program, some of them on this site, who send me e-mails with religious themes.

At one time I would have resisited this, and still questioned it. I got a thrill of quizzing family who were Christians about why the other religions were not good enough, as they tried to sit across the table and get me to accept Jesus Christ. I now realize that I don't have to agree with all the religious beliefs of a person to see their things from their eyes, and try harder to do that.

Thanks to all the people who send me religious stuff, even though I might argue with you sometimes. I'm still not as spiritual as I feel I should be, but I'm tryin.

I think the best thing about AA/Na and the concept of God is their principle:

"Freedom under God as we understand him."

That works for me.

[DarkSkies]

H.O.W.

They said if you want to know how this program works,
take the first word of your question -- the "H" is for honesty,
the "O" is for open-mindedness, and the "W" is for willingness;
these our Big Book calls the essentials of recovery.

Thought to Ponder....

Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour.




I like the above daily thought because it's all part of keeping it simple. I run into trouble when I try to complicate things. Being sober one hour at a time is definitely what it takes sometimes. It's too much of a burden to think of achieving sobriety for the rest of your life, one day at a time is a lot easier.

[DarkSkies]

3 1/2 years sober today.

It's all grace.

I must have missed this the first time around, jon. Congrats, that's a great achievement, one day at a time.

[jimmy z]

I think many are confused about who God is. Any faith or religion, regardless of what they believe, all believe in the one true God. And I think that is what folks struggle with. I did too, at one time.
Religion is man made, and the spiritual belief's, are fine tuned, when we believe.
God is God, weather in China, or India, or Africa. There is only one true God.
Once we understand that, the rest is up to us.

[jimmy z]

And congratulations Jon.

[mick2360]

Good to see this thread getting some steam.

So much of sobriety is just admitting that we have a problem and asking for help. This is one more place that people can get it.

And Dog, we have all been there. No shame. You are in the right place. Keep coming back!

[DarkSkies]

December 15, 2008

Housecleaning

We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.







I don't know about you guys, but I need to do periodic housecleaning on both an implied level and a spiritual level. I tend to accumulate debris in my life, it just "clings on". So every few months I need to re-assess and discard the bad. For me, thats part of doing a searching and fearless moral inventory. Working the steps is good when you do it on a formal level with a sponsor, but it's also soomething you can do every day, a little bit at a time.

[jonthepain]

thanks guys

[DarkSkies]

December 16, 2008

Tolerance

Honesty with ourselves and others gets us sober,
but it is tolerance that keeps us that way.
Experience shows that few alcoholics will long stay away from a group
just because they don't like the way it is run.
Most return and adjust themselves to whatever conditions they must.
Some go to a different group, or form a new one.
In other words, once an alcoholic fully realizes he cannot get well alone,
he will somehow find a way to get well and stay well in the company of others.
It has been that way from the beginning of AA and probably always will be so.





That's one of the biggest complaints I have heard from newcomers at meetings. They don't like this, that, the cliques in that group are stupid, the speaker curses too much, etc, etc. I think we sometimes make excuses when we don't want to participate in something and don't want to tell people the reasl truth why. So we cover with bs, something we alcoholics and addicts are good at.

That's ok, everyone is entitled to their opinion. One of my biggest gripes was at the meetings I used to go to, people smoked like chimneys, and my eyes hurt after sitting in there for up to 1 1/2 hours. Wanting recovery is going after it like your life depends on it, because it does. All you have to do is look at the examples of those who don't make it. I know plenty of people who are now buried in the cemetary.

I had a friend who told me once - "I can't be an alcoholic like you, you grew up in the street culture, I wenty to better schools and surrounded myself with different people than you did. We had entirely different lives, you and me, so what you look at as important doesn't apply to me."

That friend is dead now, he couldn't deal with working out his problems, and kept it all inside.

We can all try to be more tolerant. The differences among us are on the outside. Focusing on them stops us from focusing on our recovery.

[jonthepain]

One of my biggest gripes was at the meetings I used to go to, people smoked like chimneys, and my eyes hurt after sitting in there for up to 1 1/2 hours.

yup that's what killed it for me. went to a meeting, couldn't take the smoke, ended up getting hammered for another 10 yrs.

[DarkSkies]

A.A. Thought For The Day

The way of faith is of course not confined to A.A. It is
the way for everybody who wants to really live. But many
people can go through life without much of it. Many are
doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack
of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning
in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning
at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many.
They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But
for us in A.A. the way of faith is the way of life. We
have proved by our past lives that we could not live
without it. Do I think I could live happily without faith?

"Life will take on a new meaning," as the Big Book says
(p. 89) This promise has helped me to avoid self-seeking
and self-pity. To watch others grow in this wonderful
program, to see them improve the quality of their lives,
is a priceless reward for my effort to help others.
Self-examination is yet another reward for an ongoing
recovery, as are serenity, peace and contentment. The
energy derived from seeing others on a successful path,
of sharing with them the joys of the journey, gives to
my life a new meaning.





Faith, and helping others. I know how to help others, and do it when I canm or if they ask. Faith is the issue I still struggle with. Like many recovering people, I look at the state of the world, and seen the cruelty and meanness from people who aren't happy with their own lives and need to victimize others.

The NJ case of Sara Parks comes to mind. She never harmed anyone, and was killed in an brutal way by someone whe trusted. So you ask yourself, where was God when this was happening? I guess God can't be everywhere, but these are the kinds of things that go through my head when I think of having faith.

I think the best way for me to understand this is that there will always be evil in the world. We just have to do the best we can in our corner if it, and try to make it a better place, leading by example. There are a lot of people who I think have made better examples of how to live their lives than I have, I am still trying.

[jimmy z]

If I dwell on the negative aspects of the world, the positive is not in focus.
I want what I have, today. The world is what it is. I believe I can make a difference, if I am doing good.

[DarkSkies]

Jimmy, when I first met you, in my mind that phrase "it is what it is" became one of your trademarks. Others may use it, but I always think of you when I hear it. I heard that you had many ups and downs in life, yet you always try to maintain an even keel. I kinda admire you for that. My keel is not always so even... "it is what it is"

[DarkSkies]

December 18, 2008

Not-worrying

None of us has to understand God or worry about things beyond our control.
We can indulge ourselves in the luxury of not-worrying. . .
We simply stop messing in God's business.
And in my opinion, when we stop messing and stop worrying,
we have turned out will and our lives over to God (or Good)
as we understand (or don't understand) Him.

Thought to Ponder....

Reliance on God enables me to match calamity with serenity.









That's one of the good things I like about the AA/NA readings.

They talk about not worrying. (Yeah that's great, I'm a type A personality, I overanalyze everything, I feel comfortable in a worried atmosphere)

They talk about turning our will and our lives over to God.
(well what if I don't want to do that completely? what if Im still struggling with turning it over to God?)

as we understand (or don't understand) Him
This is the saving grace here, the one thing that helped a wretch like me reach for salvation. Even though I was cynical, mistrusting, and generally not believing anything unless I saw it proved to me, here was something I could wrap my head around. It was the reallization the Higher power could be anything I wanted it to be - God, church, or people and healthy relationships that would help keep me sober.

And you can turn your will over to Good, at first, if you're not comfortable with religion. Eventually, God will find a way in there, but only if you want him to.