One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[dogfish]

Good job, DS.

[DarkSkies]

Glad you don't mind the ball busting, because I enjoy doing it, knowing that you won't ban me.

Keep up the good work.

Who sez I won't ban ya, Steve?


I ban an average of 5 idiots a week..(mostly spammers who got through our filters)...one of the recent ones registered as "A**Clown".
He couldn't understand why he was immediately banned before he got a chance to post... and was pretty incensed that I banned him.....I really don't have the time to Mod this site like I used to, so if someone looks like they will be a potential problem, I have no problem removing them first, and then letting them state their case.

I don't want to get into the mentality here that I see on some other sites, the incessant whining and self-entitlement.
Our members deserve better than that.....
There are no "Mod Que" or Infraction points here....if people are going to be attacking others we don't want them ....I have gotten a lot of e-mails thanking us for the way we do things here, so I know I'm doing the right thing.....


But you, Steve....you're the King of Poetic Verses and Crazy Stories....guess I have to give ya a little leeway....




******

For Today.....

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.
--Mortimer Adler

In some areas of our lives we are right on target. Our level of maturity is exactly as it should be, and we are going through the stages that people of our age ought to be going through. In other areas, this is not so. We are complex people, irregular, uneven. In all of us there are areas fixated in some emotional ice age, areas that have not felt the freeing warmth of the sun.

We cannot expect ourselves to move forward all at once. Not only is it okay to move slowly - it's often the only way it can be. Confusion, conflict, or pain may have caused us to let our memories or feelings be frozen safely away. This has been a long process, and we can allow ourselves more time to heal. The task now is not to deny or hide from these changes, but to have confidence that the healing warmth of the program will reflect on all areas of our lives and help make us whole.

I am thankful I am given both time and patience in which to continue my growth.



*******
I think the passages above are ok to follow, as long as we don't use that "moving slowly" concept as a crutch. Life is meant to be lived, with all its ups and downs, all its successes and failures. Failing at things is perfectly ok as long as we learn from it.

[DarkSkies]

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
--Joseph Fort Newton

Remember building snow forts? After a sticky snowfall we'd build a big snow wall. Then we'd mass-produce snowballs, preparing for battle. The team who built the best snow fort usually won, for their wall provided the best protection.

Are we still playing snow fort when we meet new people or spend time with family? Each of us has a wall we started building in our childhood. Each time we were hurt, we would fortify the wall to offer greater protection. We may not even realize it now, but we may have such strong, high walls in front of us that even the most ardent friends can't get over them.

We may feel protected behind our wall, but we may also feel lonely. Walls are built to keep people out. To feel less lonely, we need to make a little crawl space to let people in. We don't have to destroy our walls in one day, but perhaps we can let at least one person in. We will learn, one person at a time, what it feels like to be less protected, and less lonely.

I can make an opening in my wall of protection and let someone get to know me. I will be safe.








********
I was having a conversation with a friend a while ago. I'm hoping they will see these words and think about what I asked them......
They related they had always been shy....my point to them was that as we get older in life, we may start to see that being shy prevents us from letting people in to our lives, and could prevent us from realizing our true potential.

This also relates to me as well. Until I was 17, I was painfully shy.(I know it's probably hard for folks to believe, but I was )..the bookworm kid who brought home armfuls of books home every night to study.

Books and studying were my world. I remember winning a contest for reading the most books and doing reports on them...in those books I got to see worlds other than my own...and developed a thirst for travelling and adventure....still, the shyness persisted, until I found drugs and alcohol....these gave me what I referred to as courage to be "who I really was"

In my sobriety I learned that drugs and alcohol can give us a false sense of courage, and that the inner person, who we really are....is often something that will develop, if we give it a chance and learn to interact successfully with others....For me, part of doing that is having a genuine interest in their lives....





So for those out there who are shy, or consider themselves to be the "quiet type".....I agree that sometimes it's good to know when to shut your mouth....

But if there is something you feel passionately about, and you are keeping silent for fear others might know more than you.......you may be missing out on a chance to express yourself...and may regret it later.....food for thought.

[DarkSkies]

Each day is different and has a surprise in it, like a Cracker Jack box.
--Alpha English

It's interesting to ponder the notion of surprise. Not every one of them is all that welcome. Hearing bad news about a friend or having a special trip we'd been counting on canceled can leave us dismayed and worried, right along with surprised. Seeking solace from others while cultivating a willingness to accept that all things happen for a reason gives us the armor we need to make the best of every situation and disappointment.

It's an interesting image to think of each day as a box of Cracker Jacks. The moments of our lives have been very tasty. Some were sweet, some were a bit salty, and there were always wholly unexpected moments, the surprises that we were ready for even though we may not have imagined as much. We can look forward to the same daily agenda throughout the remaining years.

Does it help to know that there is a divine plan unfolding in our lives? Many of us find comfort in that. All of us can cultivate that belief.

I am ready for my surprise today! It is meant for me at this time.



********
I think the first paragraph says a lot.

Sometimes I don't completely agree with these readings, and you can count on me for my honesty in telling you how I feel.

I think it's niave to think of life as like a Cracker Jack box.
There are some surprises that are painful, and can hit us like a gut punch.
Some "surprises" will end up changing our lives, often for the worst...
Will we survive them? How bad will our lives be if the one closest to us dies in a tragic accident, or has a terminal illness?

I think the thing to focus on here, for me, is that we can do that with the support of others.
We can survive, and we will.

I think the "Life as a bowl of cherries" analogy works best here...
Enjoy live, taste it's sweetness, savor it...but be prepared to deal with the pits, because they are part of life as well.

[DarkSkies]

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
--Martha Washington

We all have friends who seem happy even though they run into lots of bad luck. And we all know other people who seem grumpy all the time. Nothing makes them very happy. It's puzzling, but some people have decided, maybe without even knowing it, that life is fun and should be enjoyed. No bit of bad luck has to make us miserable unless we let it.

A broken bike, a lost math assignment, a rained-out picnic are things that might make us miserable. But, we can decide they won't. Feeling happy can be a habit - just like brushing teeth before bedtime.

Will I stop and think today before I let things make me unhappy?




********
This is important. I tend to be a pessimistic person. If I want to achieve something, I mentally prepare myself for the failure. I want the success as well, but grew up with a Dad who always saw the negative side of things. I think the danger for us as addicts and alcoholics is not to let the fear or failure, make the waters of today muddy...we all know how it is to be around people who are continually pessimistic....just watch an episode of "Everyone Loves Raymond" and many of us can relate...so it's important to try to be as positive as well in your dealings with others....

[jonthepain]

Holy Mackeral, 99 pages!

wtg DS!!!

[DarkSkies]

^^ Thanks Jon, miss ya!

I could have never known this thread would generate such interest...thanks for all your contributions and wisdom here.

Wish you could have gotten into some of the great bass and bluefish action we had this week...
Maybe someday....


Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
--Niccolo Machiavelli

Acceptance may be one of the most difficult things to learn, for it means we must give up the desire to control our life and its outcome. Once we have truly received this great gift we will learn that acceptance need not take away our strength - on the contrary, we will have an inner strength we never thought possible.

When we decided to meet the challenge of a sober life we took the first step toward acceptance - we accepted the fact that we have a disease, a chronic disease that will always be with us. By accepting this fact we will be able to cope with our lifelong struggle. This way we willingly accept the friendship of our group members and the wisdom they offer us. They have been where we are coming from, they have suffered as we suffer, and they have felt the hope we now feel.

We are being offered a way of life that, if we follow it, will bring us a peace of mind we may never have felt. By our surrender we are now willing to receive something that is being offered to us - the beginning of a new way of life.

Today let me accept my powerlessness and any help.



*******
Acceptance is something I'm ok with now. I have had struggles with it, though. I think the concept of acceptance is something that helps us to have a more even life.

[DarkSkies]

Patience is a particular requirement. Without it, you can destroy in an hour what it might take you weeks to repair.
--Charlie W. Shedd

Enjoying the moment, in its fullest, makes possible a peaceful and patient pace. Progress is guaranteed if our minds are centered in the present, on the only event deserving of our attention. We can be certain that error and frustration will haunt us if our attentions are divided.

Patience will see us through a troubled time, but how much easier it is to savor patience when it's accompanied by faith. We can know and fully trust that all is well - that our lives are on course - that individual experiences are exactly what we need at this moment. However, faith makes the knowing easier and the softness of the patient heart eases us through the times of challenge and uncertainty.

Patience slows me down long enough to notice another, and to be grateful for the gifts of the moment. Patience promises me the power to move forward with purpose. Today's fruits will be in proportion to my patience.



****
Even at this stage in my sobriety, patience is something I still struggle with. The words above ring true, patience has a lot to do with faith that things will turn out ok...and sometimes I am honestly lacking in that degree of faith...

[jonthepain]

that's just the human condition, bro. something we all struggle with.

sometimes it's just less of a struggle, that's all.

[jonthepain]

Today is the 8th anniversary of my sobriety.

I took my last drink (a couple of dozen, actually ) on Monday, May 31 - Memorial Day - 2004

Yesterday I was tempted to go down to the river

and pound a case of Bud, but I cleaned out my truck

and organized my tools instead.

Funny how after 8 years I'd still have issues.

Nothing a couple of shots can't make worse.


Thanks to everyone here and especially Rich for all the support over the years.



JC

[DarkSkies]

Today is the 8th anniversary of my sobriety.


Yesterday I was tempted to go down to the river
and pound a case of Bud, but I cleaned out my truck
and organized my tools instead.

Funny how after 8 years I'd still have issues.

Nothing a couple of shots can't make worse.


Thanks to everyone here and especially Rich for all the support over the years.



JC

Jon, I've been meaning to call ya, and tell ya that the ups and downs in life......
sometimes seems like more downs than ups......

I've been in a bit of a funk myself lately.....the things that used to get me excited ain't cutting it anymore.....
However......

just when I feel I'm at a low, I'm somehow reminded that my life could always be worse.....


Hang in there bud, congrats on the 8 years.....and on June 1st please tune back in here......I'm gathering up the balloons for ya! (Happy Sobriety Day.....sure beats the in-ground alternative, don't it?)


Love ya, bro....
Congrats and call anytime you're down and feel like listening to some praise from a lunatic.....

[jonthepain]

btw, congrats on page 100!

[Pebbles]

Jon what a wonderful accomplishment!!!! Wishing you many more years of success.

[finchaser]

Ditto on the success keep it up

[Monty]

Ditto on the success keep it up

Double ditto, congratulations. Major, Major accomplishment.

[storminsteve]

8 years on the wagon, congratulations John!

[jonthepain]

thanks guys.

it's all grace.

[DarkSkies]

btw, congrats on page 100!

Only you would be able to find something like that...congrats again......I know it has been a hard road for you....and sometimes you may question whether it's worth it or not...and when ya do,,,,ask yourself if you would still have the love of your wife, and children, if ya weren't.........Very proud of ya, Jon....keep up the good work, one day at a time....

[jonthepain]

oh i know it's worth it... it's just that sometimes, i don't give a dam. but it passes, it passes.

i know you'll love me either way - thanks for all the support over the years!

you the man

God bless

jc

[jonthepain]

Hey Rich, Congrats on 100 pages for this thread!

Way to get the word out.