One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[DarkSkies]

Thought for the day......


"With words we can create a picture that often leads us to understanding."

The thing that speaks to me, in the above sentence, is that it is all about communication.

We are in a stage in our societal development where everyone is busy in their own lives...Many of us have more pressure than ever before...the economy is limping along, some folks are out of work, or working less, some have suffered great losses with recent bad weather all across the US..those that are gainfully employed are feeling more stress, as organizations expect more, from less workers....

I feel there is also a disconnect in our society, because of all the electronic devices we are tied into....computers, cell phones, etc, and that some people have lost the old-fashioned ideals of personal communication and contact.....People seem to be, generally speaking, more selfish than I remember than when I was growing up.....

To deal with this, if you are trying to get a message across, I feel your words must be compelling......
It is a challenge, but it is all about the words.....

Your words must be exciting,
They must be interesting....
It is not enough to be informative....

Because informative sometimes = boring...
They must be entertaining,
Informative....
Show a clear and understandable point...
And be compelling in their content.......

One of the best ways to reach an audience we don't know, is with our choice of words......
When it relates to people we do know, the choice of words is even more important....
As those of us from dysfunctional backgrounds know all too well, at times poorly chosen words will shut all communication down....
Just my thoughts, thanks for reading......

[DarkSkies]

you're welcome.

went to the funeral of a good friend of mine last week. he sat next to me in Bible study, and in the one-step program the he went to every week, and I attended sporadically.

heckuva nice guy, just retired from the State Highway Patrol.

59 years old. too young.

Mike Williams. goodbye, my brother. Godspeed.

^^ I'm sorry Jon I just saw this....My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend.....
I'll call you this week...so sorry to hear that.....



RIP Mike Williams......

Just wanted to repeat my condolences here, Jon...will try to call ya today.

[DarkSkies]

Thought for the Day.....from ITR.

Honesty

"I seek to live an honest life on a daily basis.
An honest life is my goal. It is not always easy, usually because I'm afraid that if I'm honest then I will not be accepted."





There are varying degrees of honesty. I grew up with very honest parents. Unfortunately, total honesty, without diplomacy, can often seem like brutal criticism. My parents were basically caring people, but the practice of telling someone something, brutally honest, that they may not be ready to listen to... can at times be crushing. I have since learned that it's a good goal to be honest in dealings with friends and folks you know. However, there is a limit to the ways that honesty should be approached. When I have tried to be completely honest with folks I know, mimicing the learned behavior from my upbringing, it has sometimes backfired on me.

I think it's impossible for us to be honest all the time, and the only perfect person who ever walked this earth was Jesus. I also feel that sometimes we are asked a question, that honesty could hurt the other person's feelings......

When the women in our lives ask:
"Honey, does this dress make my butt look too big?"

We know we are dead men no matter how we answer....

"Honey, did you notice that beautiful woman who walked by?"
We know the best answer is "What beautiful woman?"








Coming back to the point above, it has become easy for me to see that we live in a culture where complete honesty is not always pleasant, and therefore some folks don't choose to be that honest....for whatever reason. That's understandable to me.

As alcoholics and addicts we have to learn that conscious decisions to consistently be dishonest with our loved ones are decisions that will lead us down a path of self-destruction.

I prefer to have a high level of honesty in the people that I surround myself with.
But is honesty the best option at any price?...not always as I tried to outline above.....

Thanks for reading.....

[DarkSkies]

This is for Jonthepain, and JimmyZ, and some of my other religious friends out there, whose Spirituality has always intrigued me, and is something I greatly admire.....

Feel free to pass it on to your friends.....



A Minister passing through his church

In the middle of the day,




Decided to pause by the altar




To see who come to pray.




Just then the back door opened,




And a man came down the aisle,




The minister frowned as he saw the man




Hadn't shaved in a while.




His shirt was torn and shabby,




And his coat was worn andfrayed,




The man knelt down and bowed his head,




Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed at precisely noon,




The preacher saw this chap,
Each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
With robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop and ask the man,




'What are you doing here?'

The old man said he was a factory worker




And lunch was half an hour
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.

I stay only a moment
Because the factory's far away;As I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kindawhat I say:

'I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU, LORD,




HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,




SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP




AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.




DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,




BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS BEN,

[DarkSkies]

JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'

The minister feeling foolish,
Told Ben that it was fine.
He told the man that he was welcome
To pray there anytime.

'It's time to go, and thanks,' Ben said




As he hurried to the door.
Then the minister knelt there at the altar,
Which he'd never done before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,




As he met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed down his cheeks,
He repeated old Ben's prayer:




'I JUST CAME by TO TELL YOU, LORD,




HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,




SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP




AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.




I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,




BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.




SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME,




JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
That old Ben hadn't come.
As more days passed and still no Ben,
He began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
Learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.
The week that Ben was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles and joy contagious.
Changed people were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
Why Ben could be so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.
The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends had come to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Ben spoke up




And with a winsome smile;
'The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
He's been here all the while.'

Everyday at noon He comes here,
A dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down and takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:

'I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU, BEN,




HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,




SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,




AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.




I THINK ABOUT YOU ALWAYS




AND I LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,




AND SO BEN, THIS IS JESUS,




JUST CHECKING IN TODAY.'




If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people




will walk in and out of your life, but only




true friends will leave footprints in your




heart

May God hold you in the palm of His hand




And Angels watch over you..

Please pass this page on to your friends




& loved ones.

If you are not ashamed, pass this on.

So, FRIEND, this is ME ...




"Just Checking In Today"

[jonthepain]

last week i did some painting for a factory owner that i've done work for now and then for several years. he had some new walls built in one of the offices, to accommodate three people instead of the previous one.

i walked in and said, where's kevin? kevin is the owner's son, who i know from the one-step program i used to attend. it's his office that is being remodeled.

he said "kevin is back in rehab."

wow. kevin is the most upbeat, loving, hardworking guy i know. an elder in the church. ex-biker.

i told his dad that i will have 9 years sober this coming june 1.

he said "yeah kevin had 9 years clean."



There but for the grace of God go I.

[cowherder]

9 years is a long time, no? Sorry to hear that jonthepain will say a prayer for him

[jonthepain]

Forgot to post this on june 1...

jon the pain is:

Nine Years Sober

woot

[storminsteve]

Forgot to post this on june 1...

jon the pain is:

Nine Years Sober

woot

WOOT!!!!!!!!!
Hey congrats Jon! Have enjoyed your stories and the things you and dark have shared on here over the years. You are both candid and brutally hones about your lives. I don't know if I could go to that level of detail without embarassment. Thanks for trying to help others and good for you!!!!!!

[bababooey]

Good deal john keep up the good work.

[jigfreak]

Grats on the 9 years, guy.

[albiealert]

Forgot to post this on june 1...

jon the pain is:

Nine Years Sober

woot

Great job keep it up !!!!!!!

[DarkSkies]

^ I'm usually good at remembering that Jon...sorry it snuck past me.....Congratulations on your Nine Years....One Day at a time......and as you say...it's All Grace......Proud of ya, Bro.....

[jonthepain]

Thank you!

[dogfish]

Good work!

[DarkSkies]

Bump in case anyone has an interest in reading this thread...and what alcoholism and addiction has done to some of us...and a little about the recovery process....

If anyone has further questions...feel free to contact me in private for some confidential advice...If I can help, I will....

[robmedina]

Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. Although I have used drugs in the past I am no means an ex addict. I don not say that in a proud or boastful way but in a thankfulness way. It just never stuck with me. But the real reason I am posting is because like your first post where you say your (I am paraphrasing) life is an open book. I pretty much live my life the same way. I appreciate others that do also. Now sometimes that gets me into trouble, but I feel that if I am open others may be able to realize that they are not alone. We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!

[DarkSkies]

Dark,
Thanks for starting a thread like this. .......We all struggle with something and I guarantee there is someone else out there struggling with the same issue. It is good to talk, to fellowship.
Now if you want to start a thread about how to deal with your 21 year old psycho daughter, I would love to glean some wisdom from that!

Rob, well-said.......we all struggle with something. No one is perfect other than the one who Created the Human Race....Our Father in Heaven.......

As for your 21 year old daughter,,,,although I don't have children of my own...I've seen a lot of ups and downs with kids over the years....21 is a very difficult age....thankfully past the late teen years, a little on the way to maturity...but not that far along...still lots of bumps in the road for her to handle......

IMO too many parents try to be friends to their children and are afraid to be strong, afraid of confrontation....and in the long run, IMO this does not benefit the child....too many mixed signals. Coupled with the apathy and permissiveness of society today, I sometimes feel kind of sad that the work ethic and measure of respect we had for older folks when I and you grew up seems to be somewhat lacking.....

I have confidence everything will turn out well between you two....Rob....you seem to be a good Dad who cares a lot about his children....give it time....and eventually she will come around......Good luck.....

[dogfish]

I think daughters don't reach the age of real maturity till they are 24 or 25. Sons not until they are 30. rob you have a ways to go.

[robmedina]

IMO too many parents try to be friends to their children and are afraid to be strong, afraid of confrontation....and in the long run, IMO this does not benefit the child....too many mixed signals. Coupled with the apathy and permissiveness of society today, I sometimes feel kind of sad that the work ethic and measure of respect we had for older folks when I and you grew up seems to be somewhat lacking

Thanks DS. You know one thing I have learned as a parent is that I don't know poop! All I hope for with my oldest is that she will mature and come to her senses enough that we can have a relationship. I am adjusting my approach with my 2 next daughters and try to always keep communication open with them. My Son is 9 and so far he is the bomb diggidy. He is such a good boy. I am proud of my children and am never to proud to say I am sorry. In the end you can only do what you can do and hope for the best. If my thoughts seems all over the place is because my 16 year old daughter is staring at me because she wants me to drive her to her friends house, lol!

I think daughters don't reach the age of real maturity till they are 24 or 25. Sons not until they are 30. rob you have a ways to go.

Thanks for ruining my night!