One Day at a Time - Do You Know Bill W?

[jonthepain]

If my thoughts seems all over the place is because my 16 year old daughter is staring at me because she wants me to drive her to her friends house, lol!

luckily it's the wife that ends up driving my 16 yr old daughter most times. but we usually end up driving 20 or 30 miles out of our way on date night in order to pick her up.

my three sons practically raised themselves (28, 24, and 20) but my little girl... that's another story lol

but in all fairness, she's much better now than she was a year ago

[Pebbles]

Ok time for a girl's perspective.

1st and foremost, girls always think that Dad's do not have a clue about what they are feeling. Girls are all about feelings.

They worry about what boys think of her, what her friends think of her, is she dressed "hot enough", is her eye make-up on evenly, or if her hair is perfect! That does not even begin to touch on the very important body image. Am I too skinny, am I too fat, are my hips too big or my breasts too small!

Your body is changing, hormones are raging and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!!!

The materialistic side will say, "Oh my God I have nothing to wear." The shirt is too long, the shorts are too long, the dress is too long. Those earrings don't match that outfit. The heels are not high enough, or the wrong color. OR shoes are not "in" -- I must have a pair of UGG Boots, lined in fur to wear on a hot 90 degree day!

School is nothing but a social society, where they are judged for everything from what they wear, to how they walk, to what boys like them and what boys they like.

They worry about what if he doesn't hold my hand to -- should I kiss him. If they don't kiss him will he ask them out again. What if they kiss him and he wants more? What if they want to kiss him and he does not want to kiss them.

They have pressure of their friends asking how far they "Went" and the boys trying to get around the bases.

On top of all that they have to deal with us parents.
"What are you doing?
Who are you talking to?
Where are you going?
What time will you be home?
Is your homework done?
You have too much make-up on, that dress is too short, pull down your shirt, UGG boots in the summer? UGG!!!

Don't go kissing the boys, it can lead to bad things. Leave the bases on the baseball field, don't let the boys go running around them.

The bottom line here is that our kids are the most important gift of our lives. We do the best we can and that includes not being their friend, but being their parent. Being very careful to choose the right battles to fight. Letting them make their own mistakes knowing that you have done your best. If your kids don't talk back, help you when you need it, and love you despite of all the trials and tribulations, then you have won their respect and they have yours.
No one is perfect, but we all try.

Don't forget they all grow up and end up taking care of us. The way we treat our parents is an excellent example to our kids. As we want respect from our kids, we need to give respect to our parents. Don't yell at them, be kind. It is the circle of life.

[robmedina]

Ok time for a girls perspective.

1st and formost, girls always think that Dad's do not have a clue about what they are feeling. Girls are all about feelings.

Um if my Girls think that then they would be right!!! I have no clue what goes on in them heads!!!

The bottom line here is that our kids are the most important gift of our lives. We do the best we can and that includes not being their friend, but being their parent. Being very careful to choose the right battles to fight. Letting them make their own mistakes knowing that you have done your best. If your kids don't talk back, help you when you need it, and love you despite of all the trails and tribulations then you have won their respect and they have yours. No one is perfect, but we all try.

Well unfortunately I made more mistakes with my oldest daughter that I have gotten better at with my next ones- I love my kids to pieces. But with Love comes discipline (which is LOVE too!) and for that I make no apologies. I just don't understand why my oldest (21) feels so much resentments towards me. My 16 year old daughter hugged me yesterday out of the blue- that touched me and I told her so. Here is my perspective on raising kids- I feel I and my Wife are stewards. These humans were given to us for us to nourish and teach and prepare them for adulthood. That not only means education but also a sense of community. Respect for your fellow man. CONSIDERATION for your fellow man and an OBLIGATION to be a positive part of society. maybe I forget to be dad along the way......

Don't forget they all grow up and end up taking care of us.

I pray that this is the case. I don't have parents and I don't want to loose my kids too. All I can say is it is damn hard! I heard it said "parenting is the easiest job in the world to get and the hardest to do!"

[Pebbles]

i heard it said "parenting is the easiest job in the world to get and the hardest to do!"

amen!!!!

[DarkSkies]

Very well-said, Pebbles, thanks for the perspective.....

You as well, Rob.

[DarkSkies]

31 years of Sobriety for me today.........

It has been a lot of ups and downs......some of the downs have been very daunting.....deaths of those who I loved, severe illnesses and diseases that some fought, and lost the fight.....lots of sadness mixed in with the everyday pressures of life.....and the realization that we are Powerless, to do anything about most of these things, Powerless, except to work on our own lives.






However, along with sobriety comes opportunity,,,,
The opportunity to do better....
The opportunity to make new plans, when the ones you made, don't work out.....
The opportunity to try new things, and new paths....
The opportunity to meet new people, and make new friends...
The opportunity to make amends to those we have hurt....
The opportunity to help others that ask for help...

The opportunity to make the World a better place, for you having been in it....the opportunity to touch the Lives, Heart, and Soul, of others, as we make our way along the Paths we have chosen.....

No matter how bad things may seem, the opportunity to get up tomorrow, and start a Brand New Day.....
Much better than the opportunities that we had in the past....




**And most importantly, the opportunities to tell those who we Love, how important they are to us....
and to show them, by deeds and action...not just words.....

Thanks, God, for the Opportunities...that I have been given...
And thank you for your Benevolence, and letting me wake up another Day....

One Day at a Time.....
Amen.....

[robmedina]

Amen DS! Well said!

[dogfish]

**And most importantly, the opportunities to tell those who we Love, how important they are to us....
and to show them, by deeds and action...not just words.....

Thanks, God, for the Opportunities...that I have been given...
And thank you for your Benevolence, and letting me wake up another Day....

One Day at a Time.....
Amen.....

Congrats on the 31 years and well said dark. Thanks for all you do. You ever come up this way, let me know ahead of time.

[ledhead36]

Good job ds. Keep up the good work.

[storminsteve]

way to go dark!

[jonthepain]

Congratulations! Well done, my friend.

I think that the true test of character, is whether we continue to plug away despite the trials, and our attitude during the tough times.

It's like fishing. You throw your favorite plug, the bail closes unexpectedly, and your lucky plug hits some guy in the back of the head walking on a beach in France.

Do you say the hell with it, and go sit on a stool at the Chubby Pickle and pound 10 drafts?

Or do you just tie on another plug?

Thanks, Dark, for all the encouragement over the years. You are a true friend.

Yours,
Jon

[Pebbles]

Congratulations, Love! You have had to face many obsticles, especially these last several months and you continue to forge ahead without the aid of drugs or alcohol. That is truly a testament of who you are and want to continue to be.

[DarkSkies]

Congratulations! Well done, my friend.

I think that the true test of character, is whether we continue to plug away despite the trials, and our attitude during the tough times.

It's like fishing. You throw your favorite plug, the bail closes unexpectedly, and your lucky plug hits some guy in the back of the head walking on a beach in France.

Do you say the hell with it, and go sit on a stool at the Chubby Pickle and pound 10 drafts?

Or do you just tie on another plug?

Thanks, Dark, for all the encouragement over the years. You are a true friend.

Yours,
Jon

Jon, that was beautifully said......and so damn true......
In the past the answer to every obstacle was to get drunk or high.....
That's not an option anymore.....facing every obstacle is what adults do, every day.....
Although it can be tough and depressing at times......pushing forward gives results....and can make tomorrow a better day than today......

You always have a way of putting things in crystal clear perspective....thanks for your thoughts over the years....they mean a lot my friend....

[DarkSkies]

Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts......
You all help make this world a better place for me...your humor, thoughts, even when ya'a poke fun at me....all good, and enjoyed.....







Pebbles, you are without a doubt the best thing that ever happened in my life......I thank God every day for allowing our paths to cross.....Love ya sweetie....

[jonthepain]

.....facing every obstacle is what adults do, every day.....

you are right, it's just what we do.

thanks again
jon

[bababooey]

good job ds.

[cowherder]

Hey congrats on the anniversary dark and keep up the good work!

[Monty]

Congrats Dark, great accomplishment

[DarkSkies]

Thanks all for the kind words.
It is, as Jon said, all Grace....and One Day at a Time.....

If anyone who reads this ever wants or needs advice, confidentially, feel free to contact me in private. I will do whatever I can to help, and it will be held in strictest confidence.

[DarkSkies]

Someone in our extended circle of friends and family recently killed herself.
It was a severe shock to Pebbles and I...we never saw it coming.....

If you know someone in your circle, and they seem unhappy....please do them a kindness and reach out and check in with them, maybe more often than you regularly do......we all lead busy lives, but a simple 10 minute phone call can make a world of difference to someone who is facing depression and the issues associated with it.....

There is no attempt at guilt here....when someone makes that ultimate choice to end their lives, it's on them. It's not healthy to feel guilty about it. Most of the times, there are no signs or clues....In my experience those really looking for suicide as a solution will rarely talk about it.....if someone is not open and honest about their feelings, there is not much chance you will be able to stop them.

However, ff someone does mention to to you, and reaches out, even by casually mentioning it, please take them seriously.....

You never know how much difference you can make in someone's life, just with a few kind and caring words,......

Our Heavenly Father.....please watch over her, as she is now with you.....
And shine your Benevolence on family and friends she left behind....






A link to another thread with a discussion on Suicide...
http://stripersandanglers.com/Forum/...-done-about-it