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Police in Bari, Italy, arrested a man suspected of snatching handbags to finance his drug addiction after he sped past one woman on his motorcycle and snatched her purse. The woman was his mother, who recognized him and reported him, said a police spokesperson, adding, "We were rather surprised by the whole episode, I must admit."
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A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
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In June, a woman walking in a parking lot near Fort Walton Beach, Fla., with her two children was nearly struck by a car, but gently approached the driver to let her know the kids were unhurt.
Inexplicably, the driver erupted, and when the woman tried to calm her by offering her a church brochure, the furious driver grabbed it, pulled her own pants down, and, according to a police report, "wipe(d) her female anatomy" with it (as the mother shielded her children's eyes). [Northwest Florida Daily News, 6-10-08]
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^^This is the kind of stuff that is stranger than fiction. Would have liked to see the video at 11, tho.
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Here's a guy with the stupidest face I have ever seen.
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stupidest clip ever, light a doob and watch
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got my eye on you
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he's very popular at parties
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Warning Labels
Actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears Hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like other soap.
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive ar or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Senior Member
After completing a six-year sentence for aggravated burglary in 2006, an unidentified male inmate at Peterborough prison has for two years refused to leave, for fear of being deported, and will continue to remain behind bars indefinitely, costing the government the equivalent of about $60,000 a year to house him.
Senior Member
An unidentified man smashed a 6-foot hole in the wall of the Name Brand Clothing Store in Tulsa, Okla., in August and labored through the night to bust open the safe, but according to the surveillance video, he finally gave up six hours later after making only a small hole in the safe. However, when the store manager arrived later that morning, he found the safe unlocked, probably the result of his forgetfulness the night before, and no contents were missing. Though the crime was unsuccessful, the manager offered to hire the robber, based just on his diligent work ethic. [KOTV (Tulsa), 8-22-08]
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Rapist leaves phone number
Michael Mahoney, 25, is the most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he lives with his parents. [Boston Herald, 7-9-08]
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Man reeled in over fishing for women's underwear
Wednesday 01st October, 07:25 AM JST
TOKYO —
A 51-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly using a fishing rod to steal women’s underwear. Police said Tuesday that Akira Hino was arrested last week for stealing a pair of panties from a clothesline on a second-floor balcony.
Police said he used a 3-meter rod and caught the underwear on a hook. He was spotted by a resident who called police. Officers found more than 500 pairs of women’s underwear inside his apartment. He reportedly told investigators he had got into the habit of stealing undergarments when he was 18.
Senior Member
Skips Jury Duty
JACKSON, Mo. - Curtis Lemons was supposed to report for jury duty in a drunk driving case. Instead, according to authorities, the 50-year-old Cape Girardeau man skipped the jury duty so he could drink himself.
Lemons received a summons to appear as a prospective juror in the case. When he didn't show up on Monday, a bailiff called his house. Lemons told the bailiff he was too busy to come to court.
Associate Circuit Judge Scott Thomsen instructed officers to bring Lemons to the courthouse. Deputies say they detected a strong odor of alcohol on him. Lemons was held in custody while the DWI trial went on.
Authorities say Lemons told the judge he had been drinking rum in the morning. Thomsen found Lemons in contempt of court and fined him $250.
Senior Member
Why don't they keep them on the trucks. Lawsuit.
When Eric Aderholt's house in Rockwell County, Texas, burned down in June, it wasn't because the fire department was too slow. They arrived within minutes, but none was aware that local hydrants were locked. Apparently, departments know that hydrants in rural areas have been shut off, as part of post-9/11 security, and must be turned on with a special tool, which no one brought that night. Texas law even requires shut-off hydrants to be painted black, but the firefighters still arrived without the tool, and by the time they retrieved it, Aderholt's house was gone. [WFAA-TV (Fort Worth), 8-27-08]
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Fishermen have gadjets for everything.Originally Posted by voyager35
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Drunk chicks
Senior Member
Someone should have been fired for that.
Senior Member
Hire this guy for the mortgage bailout.
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^ If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
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