Most embarassing crap story

[Rip-Plugger]

One of mine:

I was 20, had a 18 yr old hottie that I was in love with. She's one that I look back with regret and wonder why things didn't work out differently with. Anyway, she had serious psychological problems, she wanted to be with me the most when she was with someone else, and ended up marrying a guy who beat her. Go figure.

Back to the story. I was bringin her and her girlfriend up to my place for some partying, I actually had some game way back then, pimp hand was strong. : We had to drive over an hour to get to my place, and I was up for 2 days with the different substances I was doin. I also drank a thermos of coffee before we started the trip.

We were drivin in the car, tunes blastin, great vibe, good jokes, I was on top of the world, and goin back to my place to party with 2 luscious babes.

Someone made a joke, and I started laughing, unfortunately at the same time releasing part of the thermos of coffee in my pants as my bowels forgot their function in the natural order of things.

Immediately I realized the need to pull over before the impending stench would let the hotties realize what I did. I cracked the window, muttering something about needing fresh air, and pulled over. "Gotta take a quick leak", I said as I ran out of the car.

I made it about 100 feet back in the woods bvefore I was hit with a 2nd explosion. Took care of that, but as I dropped my pants to get into position, I was greeted with a disgusting sight...

chocolate pudding everywhere!

I took my clothes off, got rid of the pudding underwear, wiped up as best as I could, and got everything back together. However there was still a foul stench to deal with, and I used everything within hand's reach to wipe up and clean back there.

Good thing there was no poison ivy around.

I must have been back there for almost 15 minutes. The girls were beeping the horn and yelling out to the woods, asking me where the hell I was.

(Women keep us waiting all the time, but God forbid you keep a woman waiting!)

So I made my way back to the car, making up a lame excuse how I went to take a leak, and fell down in a ditch. I don't think they believed me, but they were half high anyway. I think I did a pretty good job takin care of the stench. Just to be sure, I took a shower when we got home.

Didn't matter, because I didn't get lucky that night. We just got drunk and high, and I had to take them home the next day. Story of my life, but there were at least a few good sex stories in the middle somewhere.


So let's hear some of the other stories out there, gonna be a long weekend till the rain clears.

wow,you actually pulled that off,you got more than pimp-game for sure!

[Rip-Plugger]

heres mine.
I was drifting a deep hole some years ago and the first drift I was hooked up with a nice fish.
caught several like it and then I feel it,the surge from below.
I had to drop something off bad.
I reeled in and leaned my rig on some eelgrass.
I leaned against this large rock and dropped my linen.
3 good blasts later,I was done.
I took my fresh snotrag out and wiped myself up good and clean.
threw it in the brush and went back fishing.
got into several more fish and then had to shake the weasel.
I pull it out next to the same spot I dumped on and the area looked clean.
I took my flashlight and looked and every bit of crap was gone!.
I don't know what ate/licked it all up but,it had a full belly after that,,,still amazed to this day.
don't know what would eat that.

[williehookem]

I leaned against this large rock and dropped my linen.
3 good blasts later,I was done.
I took my fresh snotrag out and wiped myself up good and clean.
threw it in the brush and went back fishing.
got into several more fish and then had to shake the weasel.
I pull it out next to the same spot I dumped on and the area looked clean.
I took my flashlight and looked and every bit of crap was gone!.
I don't know what ate/licked it all up but,it had a full belly after that,,,still amazed to this day.
don't know what would eat that.

That was sick and disgusting! But in a good way. You guys are certifiably nuts, never heard stories like that. Keep em coming.

[seamonkey]

WOW! Wonder what kind of animal out there would be that hungry? Food? Ecccccchhhhh!

[Rip-Plugger]

That was sick and disgusting! But in a good way. You guys are certifiably nuts, never heard stories like that. Keep em coming.

whatever cleaned up after me had to be hungry and I didn't hear anything moving around,,,,who knows?,,,maybe rats?

[williehookem]

It was the montauk monster! Unfortunately it died soon after.

[nitestrikes]

I read an interesting follow up on that creature
http://scienceblogs.com/tetrapodzool...ntauk-monster/

[storminsteve]

First crap story of 2016, a doosie. Congrats!!
Well that is likely not an exaggeration of epic.

That was sick and disgusting! But in a good way. You guys are certifiably nuts, never heard stories like that. Keep em coming.

WOW! Wonder what kind of animal out there would be that hungry? Food? Ecccccchhhhh!

whatever cleaned up after me had to be hungry and I didn't hear anything moving around,,,,who knows?,,,maybe rats?

It was the montauk monster! Unfortunately it died soon after.

6 likes for the most disturbing and entertaining thread of 2016 so far!!

[dogfish]

And it's only april. Can only get better from here on in.
I'll add. There are no real stripers around in my area of MA yet, but sometimes you can get some residents and early schoolies. Was out yesterday fishing and scouting. Was kind of tired so loaded up on the extreme caffeine coffee. Not too smart. While out walking some trails I sneezed and shat myself. Kind of messy. The end.

[dogfish]

whatever cleaned up after me had to be hungry and I didn't hear anything moving around,,,,who knows?,,,maybe rats?

Maybe BIG rats, or wart hogs. Pity the poor wild creatures out there who have to scavenge for food by eating someone's poop.

[cowherder]

And it's only april. Can only get better from here on in.
I'll add. There are no real stripers around in my area of MA yet, but sometimes you can get some residents and early schoolies. Was out yesterday fishing and scouting. Was kind of tired so loaded up on the extreme caffeine coffee. Not too smart. While out walking some trails I sneezed and shat myself. Kind of messy. The end.

[bababooey]

Do you Really want to see graphic pics in this thread ch? Be careful what you ask for.

[Monty]

2016 looking like a weird year.
More crap events than dead things so far.
Not good.

[hookset]

Its just one big crap-fest.

[Monty]

A 1977 crap story, Franks and Beans.....and Bass

[storminsteve]

^^^ hahaha good one!

[storminsteve]

I found this again because I was fishing late last night. Had a little too much coffee. Coughed and crapped in my pants. Just a little. That's all I want to admit.

[Monty]

I found this again because I was fishing late last night. Had a little too much coffee. Coughed and crapped in my pants. Just a little. That's all I want to admit.

Your starting 2017 off on the right foot!!!
Find any dead stuff??

Seriously, wish you would have hooked up with the fish that made you "crap in your pants", sounds like a good one (fish).
Congrats on the action (catching a couple bass and missing a larger one).

Looked up some stuff to try to help a buddy out

How do you stop crapping in your pants?

1. Avoid spicy foods, fruits, alcohol, and caffeine until 48 hours after all symptoms have disappeared.
2. Avoid chewing gum that contains sorbitol.
3. Avoid milk for 3 days after symptoms disappear. You can eat cheese or yogurt with probiotics.
4. Put Grey Poupon on as many foods as tolerable

Begin eating mild foods the next day or sooner, depending on how you feel.

[baitstealer]

Rofl you guys are some sick f*ucks!