Fishing reports: Turd Ferguson helps the new guys

[DarkSkies]

For those who want to help the newbies but don't want the crowds that result...I think it's a good idea to help the new guys out to teach them "How".....or most importantly the "Why" that fish may be in a certain area..
The where, IMO, is less important..because once you understand the How and Why better...you will be more than halfway there....

.... I'll be doling these tidbits out a little at a time, either some general comments or some "How To" for the fishing season.

Most of it will apply to NJ and LI bay/ Sound areas, if the general area isn't indicated.






Specific questions on Where may not be answered..... be happy with what ya get, or not.
Tight Lines,
Turd

[DarkSkies]

Find out where Rich Swiss buys his donuts from.

Wait outside the place when he pulls up, memorize the plate # of his truck.

Discreetly follow him, keeping at least 500 feet from him at all times. Try not to get arrested doing this. Discreetly set up in the general area. You don't need to be in the exact spot, but you do need to only fish 1 rod.

There are state police roaming the RB this year. Anyone fishin more than 2 rods will be arrested and sent to Yugoslavia to work in the coal mines.

Fish fresh clams, carefully release all the small runts. After you nail a dozen or so, you may have a keeper.

[DarkSkies]

Alternate plan:

Scout the bay at low tide by yourself, look at the structure.

This week there are extreme low tides, great time to learn.

Get the eff out there and fish!

[DarkSkies]

First tidbit:


Reno had fresh clams today.

[DarkSkies]

For some reason as part of the intel today, the following info was sent to me:

- There are lesbians in NJ, some are hot, some are not. They are in charge of some large businesses.

- Bearded clams are not to be confused with surf clams.

- The best clams are juicy.

- Sometimes really stinky clams get the job done.

- People are asking about using clambrella rigs or clamzilla rigs in the early season. More on that in a later post.

That is all...

[DarkSkies]

Water temps are trending up, but slowly.

There is some key intel in the chart below.

Study it well.

Don't ask me about it, it's a secret map if you can figure out how to decode it.


http://www.nodc.noaa.gov/dsdt/cwtg/catl.html

[DarkSkies]

When will the fish be here?
When will the fish be here?
Are we there yet?

(Ya won't know unless you're out there fishin)


For those who can't be bothered with finding their own fish...


Sent in by OGB, thanks!

Crocuses - fishing for first spring resident bass
Tulips – arrival of winter flounder
Lilac – weakfish are in town
Forsythia – bluefish and fluke are on the move
Dogwood – arrival of migratory striped bass

September’s full harvest moon has a tremendous effect on both weakfish and striped bass which take it as a sign to start their annual southern migration. During this lunar period juvenile species of both predator and prey are driven outward along the shoreline.

Wind from the North, fish come forth
Wind from the South, fish shut there mouth
Wind from the East, fish come to feast
Wind from the West, fishing is the best

[hookset]

You forgot that the season really gets into full swing when you see the white bucket brigade out in force, or guys looking for the blitzes.

[storminsteve]

You forgot that the season really gets into full swing when you see the white bucket brigade out in force, or guys looking for the blitzes.

What's wrong with the white buckets?
ledhead posted this originally, I'm stealing it


Over hill, over dale
As we hit the beach trail,
And those White Buckets go rolling along.
In and out, hear them shout,
Counter march and right about,
And those White Buckets go rolling along.

Then it's hi! hi! hee!
Over the dune nimbly,
Shout out your presence loud and strong,
For where e'er you go,
You will always know
That those White Buckets go rolling along.

In the storm, in the night,
Action left or action right
See those white buckets go rolling along
Limber front, limber rear,
Prepare to mount your bucketeer
And those White Buckets go rolling along.

Was it high, was it low,
Where the hell did the fish go?
As those White Buckets go rolling along
Was it left, was it right,
Now we won't get home tonight
And those White Buckets go rolling along

March along, sing our song,
With the bucket brigade of the free
Count the brave, count the true,
Who have fought to victory
We're the Googans and proud of our name
We're the Googans and proudly proclaim

First to fight for the right,
And to show a white rods might,
And The White Buckets go Rolling Along
Proud of all we have done,
Fighting the battle's done,
And White Buckets go Rolling Along.

Then it's Hi! Hi! Hey!
The Googan's are on their way.
Count off the cadence loud and strong,
For where e'er we go,
You will always know
That The White Buckets keep Rolling Along.

Sandy Hook, Montauks ranks,
Hither Hill and Cape Cods tanks,
And The White Buckets go went rolling along
Minute men, from the start,
Always fighting from the heart,
And The White Buckets keep rolling along.

Men in rags, men who froze,
Still the Googans met their foes,
And The White Buckets went rolling along.
Faith in themselves that we're right,
And They'll fight with all their might,
As The White Buckets keep rolling along.

[wish4fish]

lol wait till the last week of may and u will see these googs trip all over themselves at the jetties thats exactly what it looks like xcept they all are the cool guys with the cool gear

[cowherder]

lol wait till the last week of may and u will see these googs trip all over themselves at the jetties thats exactly what it looks like xcept they all are the cool guys with the cool gear

Funny stuff! I never got to see that stuff on the jetties because I mostly kept to myself on the sand beaches. Last yeat got crowded at sandy hook at the very end, but I think that was because of cell phones and spot burning. Why can't people learn to be quiet when there is a good bite, or use the private messages or e-mails to pass some good fishing tips along?

[DarkSkies]

West wind wally with some early season advice

[Frankiesurf]

Thanks Wally!

[DarkSkies]

- Bearded clams are not to be confused with surf clams.

- The best clams are juicy.

- Sometimes really stinky clams get the job done.

- People are asking about using clambrella rigs or clamzilla rigs in the early season. More on that in a later post.
That is all...

Last week we were having some fun with clambrella rigs and the right presentation for spring fishing on another site.

I was supposed to post it last week, but couldn't get to it until now. Here ya go...



How to: fishing the clambrella rig

Question:
[hey all,
just ordered a 4 pack of clambrellas and last night after dinner i was trying one out in the back yard. don't want to look like a fool out on gp this season. is it supposed to open and spread like a hi-lo or is the advantage in having the clams bunch up? because how i was pitching it last night it was like i was tossing a seafood alfredo. any advice would be great. thanks.]

Responses:
1. you can't be serious that you bought that. Just use a hi-low rig and that s all you need. Take that thing back. You definately got ripped off

2.
is this some kind of joke??







***********************************

Cmon guys the man was seriously trying to learn a valuable new technique.
You all knew that clambrellas have been around in the US since the days the pilgrims fished, right?

There's a few special tricks and techniques to add to your angling experience when using the clambrella.

Let's try to help a brother fisherman out here:


1. just ordered a 4 pack of clambrellas and last night after dinner i was trying one out in the back yard.
That was a smart decision Radio. Buying a clambrella and learning to use it to catch large takes a while. The guys who do well with them are the ones who pay their dues and put in their time.




2. don't want to look like a fool out on gp this season. is it supposed to open and spread like a hi-lo or is the advantage in having the clams bunch up?
That would depend on how the fish are running. If it's a full moon, it's better having the clams bunch up and let them sit together on the bottom. Fish are sometimes spooked during a full moon. The key to catching large during a time like this is to make absolutely sure that clambrella glob stays on the bottom. During the first April full moon, I have seen guys land cows up to 45# using that rig, by carefully following the above procedure.

It's also is deadly during an October full moon if the surf is very quiet. If you have done your homework and are there at the correct time, sometimes in addition to catching your cow the Great Pumpkin or King Neptune has appeared to lucky anglers.






3. because how i was pitching it last night it was like i was tossing a seafood alfredo. any advice would be great. thanks
Anyone can buy and use a clambrella, but not everyone can master the skills needed. You need to throw it just the right way for it to unfold and sit there with all those bait choices for the hungry bass to find. The technique for the clambrella is somewhat like throwing a cast net for bunker.

The key here: practice, practice, and more practice.



*****************************
(I'll try to come back when I have more time and explain various advanced clambrella tricks, such as.. )

-dipping the clams in bunker or garlic oil to get more fish

-mixing and matching clams and fresh bunker for the optimum amount of strikes

- tricks of the old-timers such as tipping some of the clambrella hooks with fresh bacon

-fishing the rig with maximum efficiency by carefully perching a fishing ladder in calm surf and learning how this extra height will give you more leverage when fighting big fish





- advanced clambrella trolling, where one attaches the rig to a sturdy rod mounted to the bed of a truck or the back of your beach buggy. This is deadly during times when you know the bass are there but they are sitting on the bottom with lockjaw. It's also best done at night so the tourists don't see how effective it really is...

There ya go **********, hope that helps!
Anyone else with tips and tricks for this or other early season specialty striped bass rigs, feel free to jump in.

[DarkSkies]

Topics that I'll try to cover next time:

*Finding clams for the advanced clamzilla rig.

*A little history of the clamzilla clams and the techniques, only for the advanced anglers out there.

*The super advanced snausage rig.

*Where to get the freshest clams if you can't travel to dig for them in the rich clamzilla fields.

* Advanced clambrella and clamzilla trolling techniques from the beach.

[cowherder]

How to: fishing the clambrella rig

2. don't want to look like a fool out on gp this season. is it supposed to open and spread like a hi-lo or is the advantage in having the clams bunch up?
That would depend on how the fish are running. If it's a full moon, it's better having the clams bunch up and let them sit together on the bottom. Fish are sometimes spooked during a full moon. The key to catching large during a time like this is to make absolutely sure that clambrella glob stays on the bottom. During the first April full moon, I have seen guys land cows up to 45# using that rig, by carefully following the above procedure.

It's also is deadly during an October full moon if the surf is very quiet. If you have done your homework and are there at the correct time, sometimes in addition to catching your cow the Great Pumpkin or King Neptune has appeared to lucky anglers.




3. because how i was pitching it last night it was like i was tossing a seafood alfredo. any advice would be great. thanks
Anyone can buy and use a clambrella, but not everyone can master the skills needed. You need to throw it just the right way for it to unfold and sit there with all those bait choices for the hungry bass to find. The technique for the clambrella is somewhat like throwing a cast net for bunker.

The key here: practice, practice, and more practice.

I don't know where in your brain you get this stuff dark, (I mean TURD! ) but keep em coming.

[seamonkey]

Is this this what you looked like finchaser, when you first learned?

[DarkSkies]

I don't know how many remember the Woodstock years. If ya don't, too bad...


Gimme an "F"




(up to 48 yesterday)




(up to 46 yesterday)

[DarkSkies]

Topics that I'll try to cover next time:

*Finding clams for the advanced clamzilla rig.

*A little history of the clamzilla clams and the techniques, only for the advanced anglers out there.

*The super advanced snausage rig.

*Where to get the freshest clams if you can't travel to dig for them in the rich clamzilla fields.

* Advanced clambrella and clamzilla trolling techniques from the beach.

2nd in a series of advanced clam techniques....



The Question:
"Holy Chit great post.
Did you write that article in the NJ Angler Mag or am I getting you confused with AJ Bruno? Either way GREAT article on the Clambrella
Any tips on the new rig I'm using the Clamzilla?"




My Response:
Dude, I can't believe you know about the Clamzilla!
(I'm no writer, just a hack who smoked too much pot in the hippy days )

Anyway, you must be lucky to know about the Clamzilla rig, which is a hybrid of the clambrella that can only be set up by using the special clamzilla clams.

The clamzilla clams are most often found near the islands of the southern hemisphere that give off a green glow during the full moon. Therefore, you have to travel there in the dead of night.

Once morning comes, you walk onto the flats where the clamzilla clams live. The natives who live there, of the Ubuntu clan, will help you out if it's your first time there, but you have to bribe them with Camel cigarettes and butane lighters.

You have to be careful walking the flats there, as just beyond is a drop to 300' deep canyons. These canyons are patrolled by hungry tiger sharks. Once a season the Ubuntu natives sacrifice a pig or sheep to the tiger sharks to ensure their yearly safety and a bountiful clam harvest.

As you're raking for these clams with the special Ubuntu rakes with the long tines, you have to be aware that the clams are tough suckers to pull out of there. They really dig in there, and have to be pried out with force.





Once you get one, you will see why they're worth the effort. They are the toughest and juiciest clams around. The natives have quite a good business going with the clamzilla exports. They ship them by canoe to the nearest big island, where they are then transferred by airplane to the Eastern and Western coasts of the US

You can't just find them in any bait and tackle shop though. The buyers of these clamzilla clams are some of the sharpest surf sharpies out there. They're the guys you hear about catching the biggest cows that you assume were nailed on live bunker. In reality, they get their biggest fish in the dead of night with those clamzilla clams on the clambrella rig
I've not been fortunate enough yet in my fishin career to be allowed to buy these clams directly from the secret tackle shops. However, I have tagged along on a few fishing trips with some of these sharpies and seen how it's done.

There are a few reasons the clamzilla clams are so great...

1. They stay on the hook. Once you cut a piece off and put it on there, even a 20# bluefish can't rip it off without becoming fatally hooked.

2. The clam meat emits a stink that can be smelled by trophy striped bass for miles.

3. You can use the meat over and over, and even salt it for the winter. So even though it's initially expensive, you save $$ in the long run

4. There is a supernatural quality to the clam. It retains its juices no matter how many times you dunk it in the water.

5. Because they are so big, you can literally carve dozens of baits from one clamzilla clam. All you need to do is put one small piece on each hook of the clambrella rig, and you're good to go!

..


You know the rest ***, as you obiously must know one of the secret sharpies out there to be even allowed to mention the clamzilla.


I put this out there so maybe some of the guys who are getting frustrated with slow catches and long waiting times have something to hope for. If this interests you, you have to seek out the anonymous sharpie and ask them what they know of it. You'll find if you are respectful enough when you ask them, you may be invited on a clamzilla night fishing trip.

If so, consider yourself lucky

[DarkSkies]

Gimme an "I"