McSame
McSame
"Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician"
Read this
Last edited by DarkSkies; 12-20-2010 at 01:24 PM. Reason: Merged threads
Man this forum can get boring, at least to me. While I enjoy spirited political discussions, at times there is too much tension and preaching by one side or the other.
To try to break that up a bit, feel free to put any political humor, bumper stickers, political photoshops, etc, in this thread.
Please try to edit out any obscenities if you can, and use common sense so I don't have to get involved editing posts.
And please remember to have some class. We can't have racist or other low-class jokes or pics in here. I'm trying to start this thread to show people that both sides deserve to be poked fun at now and then.
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
The Pope and Pelosi
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So......................................... the Pope backhanded the *****.
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
PSALM 2010
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog....
And Obama was a tree.
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks.
The car pictured is a Mercedes Maybach
Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof. The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passenger's preference.
NOW, STOP DREAMING, GET BACK TO WORK, AND JUST TRY TO
BE HAPPY WITH THE CHANGES THAT OBAMA
HAS PLANNED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!
A Washington DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' the USA is
in trouble!
1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)
2.I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts .''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod
is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o
explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5.An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and
we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the
plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was
dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno ,
Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked,
''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright
(D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to
get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh,
no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told
her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman ( John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''
I was at a loss for words.. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal..''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
And this is my personal experience (one of many) of why education is the way it is: When I was a High School Principal
I enagaged a new teacher with a MA from Columbia University in conversation. She was a history major. I asked her about WW2 in the Pacific. The response: The United States dropped an atomic bomb on Japan, so they had to defend themselves by attacking Pearl Harbor.
Now you know why education is in trouble!
Anagrams
This is one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there
Must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
Wait till you see the last one!
It's going to be hard to top because
It fits to a "T"
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
AND FINALLY?.
FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
When you rearrange the letters:
"An Arab Backed Imposter?
Bet your friends haven't seen this one!
Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again
worst president ever