Southern Security System
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 - 16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Virgil, T-Bone, and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and a gallon of sweet tea. Be back soon.
Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.
I don't think killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
Cranky Old Bassturd.
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