Tough, tough subject, but it's there. Seems like you worry about illness/death, for yourself and those close to you 50 per cent of the time and the other 50 per cent you actually live it. Nothings easy. To make decisions on some one else life is very tough. To take some one off a machine, to see that last breath or tear flow from their face, just tough. I experienced it with my FIL. But, like Monty stated- the memories and experiences keep that individual alive within us. 'ats why I always say that my walks are done alone, but I'm never lonely.

My parents are still doing pretty good- Dad (89), Mom(87). Mom was in the hospital for awhile this year and Dad broke both his hips at different times, also this year. They can't do much around the house anymore (they still yell at me, though). I help them in any way I can. Doctor appointments, shopping, around the house stuff, whatever they need. That's how I cope with it. They were there for me and I kinda drove them crazy. I stop to see them every night, make sure all is OK. Maybe I'm selfish because it makes me feel better.

Like I said, nothings easy, you just do things, one at a time, You just accept it. I just hope that I'm around to help them until they don't need it. Life/Feelings- same thing.