I think I can answer that. It's a little involved so work with me.
(I hope you guys don't think this is racist as I have a chinese girlfriend on the side, and we employ a chinese gardener who does very good work)
On monty's last trip to china he aggravated a lot of chinese people. They had been wiping their du-pa's with their hands for centuries. Then monty comes along and asks for toilet paper. All of a sudden the CEO of the company had a secretary he was banging. Since she was banging him she thought she deserved the same priveleges monty did. so she demanded toilet paper as well. He gave her some but stockpiled it in the executive washroom in his office (i stole this from seinfeld) He swore her to secrecy about the toilet paper. To keep names straight, let's call her Lin.
Even though Lin was banging the CEO, her heart belonged to a worker on the factory floor named Hu-Chen. He was a handsome fella and stole her heart. Their romance was forbidden in Chinese custom because her parents wanted her to marry someone above her status. However she couldn't marry her boss because he was already married. So she was stuck in a culture wormhole. She did mention to her true live Hu-Chen that monty was being given some toilet paper, and she as well. She tried to sneak some in to him and his friends but it caused a grave uproar in the factory. Pretty soon all the workers heard about the luxury of using toilet paper to clean their rectums to sparkling shiny condition. They all wanted some. When the bosses found out, they calculated it would cost the factory an extra $1.07 per month per worker if they were to supply them with toilet paper. This was unacceptable as it would cut into the profit margin.
Since it is important in Chinese culture to save face and avoid confrontation,. the bosses could not confront monty or his superiors over this grave indiscretion. instead, they knew china is a country of 8 billion people. They found out monty lived in nj and liked to fish the bays. I don't know if monty fishes the raritan bay exclusively or fishes the barnegat bay as well,. so lets use the raritan bay as an example. The bosses told all their relatives that every time someone visited new jersey, it would be a sign of respect to monty if they would go down to the shoreline and poop in the raritan bay. This only seemed to happen in the summer because the chinese embassy extended so many visas and summer season was the most visas. The town authorities thought it was algae or bunker crap but they didn't want to let the real reason get out - that for some reason an untold # of asian tourists were coming down to the bay and pooping in the water.
This went on for the whole summer of 2013 and part of 2014 before some fishermen reported it and the authorities were alerted. The rogue chinese tourists were rounded up and sent back to china post haste. To this day whenever it gets over 75 degrees the accumulated waste comes out from the back creeks and turns the water there brown.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Originally Posted by bababooey
I think I can answer that. It's a little involved so work with me.
Reply With Quote
This thread is so gross and funny at the same time, awesome!
