Stripers And Anglers Ball Busting thread

[porgy75]

Well Awful Kanoffel I'm thinking with you in Jersey when he clears the state line he is good to go.

Good luck in rhode island jb! Enjoy your reports and posts. I hope this doesn't sound stupid but what the heck is an Awful Kannoffel?

[porgy75]

Well thank you for the support

Since we are taking up collections maybe we should think about the odds of some of the members here ending up needing bail?

1. Lets start with Dark, maybe he should start a collection for himself as I find him an overwhelming favorite. Like 1:1 odds
Lets see, most likely to throw someone in the drink, most likely to trespass and use someones porta-john (and fall a sleep in it and be arrested for trespassing and squatting (like in squatters taking over a place (pun intended)).
Most likely S and A member to assault a bait caster throwing bait in a location where it is frowned upon
If you are in a boat and hear someone yelling at you "hey captain", you are likely 5 seconds away from an all out altercation that could result in a trip to the brink.

2. Bababooey 2:1.......For reasons spread all over this site its likely a miracle Dark hasn't bailed you out yet.

3. Storminsteve, Sorry but I have you at 8:1, your embarrassment at just trying to be top 3 in dead thing finding (and maybe hanging on to 3rd place) leaves me and others wondering what you will do.....

4. fishinmission78, 8:1, One jeep on the beach with its headlights on at night away from a trip to the pokey

5. JB 50:1, After swearing off Gulp for a month and then a week or so in admitting he is off the wagon.....who knows what he is capable of

6. Finchaser, 500:1, most likely to make Dark disappear......but with his connections no one will ask questions

Just a few , ran out of time......will add to later

this is another funny postt I read good job Monty!!!!!!

[Monty]

Good luck in rhode island jb! Enjoy your reports and posts. I hope this doesn't sound stupid but what the heck is an Awful Kannoffel?

Evil Kneavels opposite.

[DarkSkies]

^Monty has created a list of names for me this year. As long as they aren't 4 letter words...it's all good....and I can't argue with the truth.....
Monty is the voice of reason....
A Goog voice....
But a voice of reason nonetheless....

[storminsteve]

As long as they aren't 4 letter words...it's all good...

Dude you shouldn't of said that because you gave me a chance to think. I don't know how you can ever live down the sleeping in the porto potty incident. I know you explained it but I never knew anyone in my circle of friends who had that happen to them. Just a few quick names, since you said you don't mind -

All taken from the basic porto john, johnny on the spot concept
Porto-Skies
Dark on the spot
Porta-Dark
Sleeping-in-stink-skies
Dark-skies-falling-into-a-black hole
Sani-skies

motel6 ads -
Come rent one of our porta johns for your next fishing trip - we'll leave the light on for you!

[seamonkey]

Dark-skies-falling-into-a-black hole

Umm maybe you should call it a sorta brown hole.Or mocha brown hole depending on what the depositors had for dinner. Damn you are funny SS I could never come up with words like that, Keep em coming!

[hookedonbass]

Umm maybe you should call it a sorta brown hole.Or mocha brown hole depending on what the depositors had for dinner.

Jesus I almost puked onto the screen. I spit my dunkin donuts mocha coffee coolatta as I read this. You owe me a coffee.

[seamonkey]

Oh come on now man. I'll buy you a straight coffee NP. Mokka coollata? Hell no that's not even a man's drink!

[J Barbosa]

NOTE: What you read in this thread is for entertainment purposes only.... and may or may not reflect reality.....

JB is on the road to RI as I'm typing this......hoping to get in on some of the albie fly action....

I'm praying to King Neptune he gets some fish......
And praying for the drivers in NJ, CT, and RI along the way....
He's a good kid....but a little shaky on his driving skills........

Well Awful Kanoffel I'm thinking with you in Jersey when he clears the state line he is good to go.

Dark is obviously egging me on so I can finally write up the story...

We spent about an hour talking to Fote after the ASFMC meeting trying to understand his viewpoint. We finished up around 10pm when the guard kicked us out. After that we went to my car to exchange a few plugs and then we decided to go fishing together.

We agree on a spot that is about 20miles North from the meeting and I tell him "I'll meet you there".

Darkskies says "No, follow me I know a shortcut".

So I am following him up the parkway doing around 80-85mph and he calls me to warn me about the local cops in the town we are going to and for me not to speed there. We end up talking on the phone and continue driving North.

At some point Monty calls Darkskies so he hangs up with me and starts talking to him. Meanwhile I am still following Darkskies on the parkway as he changes lanes frequently without signaling...

So we get to the point where the parkway divides into express and local sections and I follow Dark onto the express section. I'm saying to myself what shortcut does this guy know as their is no exit for that town from the express lanes?

Well it turns out that I was right there is no exit for the town we were going to...we have to go 5miles north and make a u-turn and drive 5miles back....

At this point I am behind Dark while we are still in the express lanes doing 80mph when all of a sudden he slows down to 60 and suddenly drives across the grassy ditch (general lee style) into the local lanes. His small car is bouncing like crazy and before you know it he is doing 80mph in the local lanes and I'm stuck in the express section.

So right away I call him and say "***???". He says...OMG, SORRY I didn't know you were following me I thought you passed me a long time ago.

So I call Monty to tell him what happened while Dark was on the phone with him and his first question is..."John, did Dark crash?"

I tell him the story and we both can't stop laughing.

Lesson of the story don't drive in the same state as Darkskies.

[DarkSkies]

I tell him "I'll meet you there".

Darkskies says "No, follow me I know a shortcut".


So I call Monty to tell him what happened while Dark was on the phone with him and his first question is..."John, did Dark crash?"

I tell him the story and we both can't stop laughing.

Lesson of the story don't drive in the same state as Darkskies.

My mission in life, before I die....is to pass on some of my knowledge out there.......
As others have done for me....
It's apparent from our fishing trip that you did learn some lessons.........
1. Learn to be a leader, not a follower....
2. When I tell ya I know a shortcut....don't accept it at face value....always have a back-up plan....the last time I tried to take a friend on a shortcut, we ended up traversing poison ivy and tick infested trails to get down to the water....as they had changed since the time I had been there last.....and we plowed through them anyway.....






I can't stop laughing reading this........I screwed up....the Parkway traffic was pretty light and I took a calculated risk....just like jumping back from rock to rock on the front of a jetty as the tide fills in......
I feel most bad that you were behind me.....my sincerest apologies....
I felt so bad...that.those spots that we fished....I told ya many secrets......so I hope you'll go back there on the right tides and hang some fish...or I'll try to hang some on your bucktails.....

[DarkSkies]

My mission in life, before I die....is to pass on some of my knowledge out there.......
As others have done for me....

I also have passed on some things to Monty over the years.....

1. When we're out fishing, the wind is 30mph, and I say...."It's gonna lay down.....I can feel it!"
(I'm delusional, ignore my words)


2. When we're out fishing, walking from one place to another, and someone asks me "Is it much further till we get there?"...and I say...."Nah, it ain't much further..".
(I'm probably lying as well.....).

3. If you're ever fishing on the flats with me at night....the heavy pea soup fog rolls in...we get disoriented and try to make our way 1/2 mille back to shore....and you ask me..."How close are we to land?"..and I say......"Don't worry, we're real close!"
(I'm probably lying about that as well.)....because there is almost nothing I wouldn't do.....to find a fish at night....especially if someone is out there with me...and I want to see them get just one fish.....









** Note to Steve.....
Funny stuff Steve....you should be in Hollywood or at least on Madison Ave writing Ad copy..the Motel6 jab was priceless....

[surferman]

You guys are certifiable! No offense but who fishes when the wind is 30 miles an hour? Funny thread tho I like it. the only thing to bust my balls about is one time I was at the beach and fell asleep. A big ray or shark got my bunker and was going to take it out to the deep. I was snoozing and not paying attention. My friends yelled out and I instinctively grabbed the rod and played the fish for almost 10 minutes until it broke my line. Because I was such a doofus sleeping and almost lost my whole setup my friends called me the sleepwalking fisherman for awhile.

[Monty]

M

I can't stop laughing reading this........I screwed up....the Parkway traffic was pretty light and I took a calculated risk....just like jumping back from rock to rock on the front of a jetty as the tide fills in......

You took a calculated risk?????
In your head does 1 +1 = 8?
Your calculator is broke!!!!!!!


A trip at 3:00 AM
Me: "Dark how much further?"
Dark: "about a hundred yards, I can see it"
Me: (I can't see a thing) "you sure?"
Dark: "yes I see it right there"

Was at least a 1/2 mile.....
Great times, its always fun fishing with you. Learning and laughing (at each other).

And I couldn't stop laughing again either at JBs story, its a classic.

[dogfish]

I was snoozing and not paying attention. My friends yelled out and I instinctively grabbed the rod and played the fish for almost 10 minutes until it broke my line. Because I was such a doofus sleeping and almost lost my whole setup my friends called me the sleepwalking fisherman for awhile.

A buddy of mine did this and we lit a firecracker by him to wake him up. You should have seen it. When he woke up he was flailing left and right. It was great. Good thing he wasn't a Southie or he would have killed us. Lots of laughs with friends when fishing it doesn't get any better than that.

Dark I can identify with the walking.on the flats part. When you fish the Cape Cod flats you have to be aware of the tides and when they come in. You have to know exactly when to move. Long walks are required to get to the fish but it's worth it. Just be careful out there. Wouldn't want to read your name in the paper as part of a recovery effort. I enjoy the stories too much.

[baitstealer]

Dude you are lucky your buddy didn't go after you lighting a firecracker off near him! I guess it's all in fun. I love this thread keep em coming! Unfortunately I do not have too many interesting stories like this. Just googan errors. I make a lot of them.

[DarkSkies]

A trip at 3:00 AM
Me: "Dark how much further?"
Dark: "about a hundred yards, I can see it"
Me: (I can't see a thing) "you sure?"
Dark: "yes I see it right there"

Was at least a 1/2 mile.....
Great times, its always fun fishing with you. Learning and laughing (at each other).

And I couldn't stop laughing again either at JBs story, its a classic.

I thought about this a little bit....
This is what I came up with.....
You're a little older than me......maybe it's time to go to Pearle Vision Center for a checkup?
You're most welcome.

I have to tell you guys....I haven't laughed that hard in a long time either....
Thanks for the laughs..

[lostatsea]

You dudes are nutz. Keep up the good work. This will be great medicine for the winter.
This isn't mine but I thought it was funny. dogfish you mentioned falling asleep when fishing. Look what this drunk guys friends did to him.

[DarkSkies]

Learned a few things today......

1. You need a fully charged cell-phone battery when talking to JB....
I may hold the record for non-stop, grumpy chatter........but JB ain't far behind.....a junior Monty or Finchaser in training.....love that righteous anger, JB........welfare cheats, lazy people, JCrew fishermen.....all good topics that I would gladly discuss with ya again....
Provided I had a fully charged cell phone battery.....


2. 4 words that can help fishernen out there avoid fistfights and misunderstood intentions....
"My bad...I'm sorry"


3. When you run a business and a customer is not happy...
When you say...."I'll take care of it for ya!".....make sure that you do.....



4. Monty....doesn't like needlefish.......and is thinking of selling all of his,. because they only catch one fish at a time......
(Monty.....call me anytime....I'll take em all off your hands, pal...)

[J Barbosa]

4. Monty....doesn't like needlefish.......and is thinking of selling all of his,. because they only catch one fish at a time......
(Monty.....call me anytime....I'll take em all off your hands, pal...)

I think I counted 16 in his bag and then he pointed out 3 that I missed.

I just saw that he bought another SS needle lot from a guy.

[Monty]

I think I counted 16 in his bag and then he pointed out 3 that I missed.

I just saw that he bought another SS needle lot from a guy.

Was exactly what I was looking for. I have rearranged the surf bag for maximum needle transport/carry. Also discussed my new plan with Dark on what to do if I catch a fish. Also have to put in motion that each trip out there i take 2 less plugs. Its all a lot clearer now.........