The Meaning of Christmas - Have we lost it?

[DarkSkies]

I start this thread with an example that is pretty extreme, so if you have a sensitive stomach, please don't read, and move on to another thread.......

[DarkSkies]

Those of ya's who know me know I have been a prisoner to work lately....start early in the day, don't get done till late night........for the last 90 days I've felt like a prisoner....
I have tried to get out fishing no less than 10 times, and each time failed.....

It doesn't matter if the fish are there or not...I just need to be out there for my sanity.....I have been feeling very down....without that ability to wet a line in the salt....and maybe jump on a rock or two....it's in my blood, I need it........it feels like a piece of me dies inside when I can't get out there....

Also spending money like water...sometimes hundreds every day.....and having trouble sleeping at night worrying about the financial picture.....

[DarkSkies]

So last night, feeling particularly down on myself, I found myself in Newark, on the way to Walmart after work at 12am.....

I passed by the train station. There was a homeless guy sitting on the ground, a wheelchair beside him.....
There's nothing unusual about that.....lots of homeless people in Newark...I see them all the time.....What made me stop and turn around was I asked myself why he wasn't in his wheelchair, and sitting on the ground instead.....

So I circled around, and passed by again....pulling up to him...
"Hey buddy how ya doing? Just wondered why you weren't sitting in your chair? Do you need some help getting back in?"

Him- "No man, I just needed some air...I'm ok, all good."

Me- "Just wondering why you're not in the shelter...If you want I can give you a ride there"

Him - "No I just got a lot of things on my mind right now. I don't want to stay there..I'm good, thanks for offering."

I noticed both of his feet had been cut off at the calves......often an extreme complication of diabetes, and a hard life......once they cut your feet off.....it's a slow downhill slide for many.....

I saw the bottoms of his stubs, as he was rubbing them..
He was a black man, about my age.....but living on the street had made him look much older...

As I looked at him....I was thinking about my circumstances...and a lot of us...and how close we could be to being homeless....if just a few things didn't go our way....it's not really that hard to imagine how any one of us could be a victim of circumstances...with a few bad obstacles mounting up before us....

So I got out of the car, slipped him some $$...he said thanks, and I intended to get back in the car and on my way.....

However, as I approached him I got whiff of a powerful stench...urine and feces.....it was really strong and everything about him reeked......
I thought of giving him a blanket I had in the trunk, but his blankets were actually better, though urine and feces soaked......

I realized, in the big picture, there was not much more that I could do, than give this guy some money to buy a meal, and move on....this is a cold harsh realization, but one that we must face, if we are to live our lives.....

Interfering in the lives of others, if they don't want help....is often met with resistance or hostility.....and that must be respected...
As I was eye to eye level with him, I could see that he wasn't drunk...or high....he was clear and lucid.....it seemed he definitely could have been the "victim of circumstances" I mentioned earlier....

With 2 feet cut off, his life must have been pretty tough....
And here I am, whining about my life, and feeling sorry for myself?

[DarkSkies]

It was a needed dose of humility for me.....
To further that, I noticed the seat of his wheelchair was covered in diarrhea and urine.....the stench was so bad....I knew there was not much I could do....this guy needed a real bath.....and clothes laundered.....but there was no way he would consider that...he already told me he had no interest in the shelter....which I would have gladly brought him to........

I got some cleaning rags out of my trunk....brought them to the chair, and wiped the seat down....so he would not have to go back and sit in feces and urine.....

He at first resisted...."Man I don't NEED YOUR HELP! I can do it myself!"....so I knew it was pushing it a little ...did it quickly, and diplomatically told him I would be done in a flash, asked for his patience....

He ended up thanking me.....told me his name.......
I drove away really disappointed with myself, that I had let my petty problems, which had seemed large to me, ever-present for the last 90 days....get to me....and eff with my mood and outlook......






I have a good education...many talents and skills....tremendous potential.....I've never doubted my abilities to succeed, and determination to not let the speed bumps of life get me down.....

It gave me what I needed....a renewed sense of humility....and a resolve to keep trying, keep up the diligence...until I'm in a better place.......

[DarkSkies]

Why do I tell this story on the day before Christmas?

Please, don't think highly of me for doing it...
I didn't type these words for the accolades from anyone......

But let's be honest here.....why DO we do these things?........
A survey quoted on NJ 101.5 yesterday said that New Jerseyans are doing less volunteer work, less helping needy causes than in the past.....

A good fishing friend and I were discussing this a few months ago, when he confided every year around Christmas he looks at one homeless person, and helps them out with a substantial amount of cash, without telling anyone.

When I remarked about what a good thing that was...he said...
"Rich, if you think about it.....we help these people to help them....but the primary reason is we want to feel good about ourselves....so our motives are selfish......me too!"


I thought about what he said.....
And have to agree......

We help, to help....
But the motivation to help, is one part of wanting to feel good about ourselves....as uncomfortable as that may seem to some......it does seem to ring true, if you're really honest about it......

So me helping him....was to feel good about me....my life.....and bring some sorely needed gratitude into my life...which admittedly is very selfish .


.

[DarkSkies]

After that, I went to Walmart....there were hundreds of people there doing their Christmas shopping.......

The lines stretched deep, and some folks seemed stressed..so many people almost no room to walk in the store, and few shopping carts left......at 1-2 am in the morning....

All for the goal of buying, buying, to get gifts for family and friends...

I thought about all this commercialism......
And what the original meaning of Christmas was.....

Christ born, as a Savior for the Evil and Ugliness of Mankind.....
Born, only to be persecuted and ridiculed for his different beliefs and inflammatory teachings.......and killed because of it......

We, in Western Civilization, have translated Thanksgiving and Christmas to the biggest shopping days of the year.....
Buy, buy, buy.......while some kids unwrap presents at warp speed, and are bored 5 minutes later......

I don't have any answers here....
Only making observations.........

[DarkSkies]

I bring it up here, and this story, to ask all the folks reading it...

if they might consider helping just one person, or more than one if you are able, this Holiday Season......

It can be any way you want....a simple act of kindness to someone who needs a helping hand or word of encouragement.....but IMO small acts of kindness can be like a virus, spreading goodwill wherever they are practiced....

Or, if you have any stories, that are sad, or uplifting, feel free to post them up.........
Looking for anything that could bring a little humanity, and kindness, back to what has become a giant Commercial buying spree........

Or any other thoughts, anything you might like to share.....







Trying to get back to the True Meaning of Christmas....
Thanks for reading..
and Happy Holidays to all.....

[clamchucker]

As I looked at him....I was thinking about my circumstances...and a lot of us...and how close we could be to being homeless....if just a few things didn't go our way....it's not really that hard to imagine how any one of us could be a victim of circumstances...with a few bad obstacles mounting up before us....

That was a nice gesture. Christ washed the feet of his disciples. You are so right on that darkskies. I had lost touch with a friend from the Army. I received notice of his death. He had been living on the streets of Los Angeles. He had a 2nd mortgage due to health problems and fell behind. None of us can know what the future brings. Live each day as if it were your last. God Bless and Merry Christmas.

[fishinmission78]

dude that is admirable but you gotta be careful. Watch out for the hep. I would prob not do that. At the very least would want to have gloves. Be safe. I agree with you about the holiday being about the $$. The wallyworld in ocean county has been insane for the last 3 days. Will be even worse when the after xmas specials start. Just got a circular in the mail. When I grew up there was some people that didn't even want the nativity scene to be included in the town square. Damn communists thats what it is. Or libs. Either way I agree we seem to have lost our way from the meaning of Christmas.