How the fight started

[katiefishes]

Received from a friend thought they were funny.....


My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
So, I took her to a gas station.....
And then the fight started....

[jonthepain]

perfect

[stripercrazy]

Ha ha good ones. Here's some more




My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday - and then the fight started.


My wife didnt come home till 6:30 in the morning. I asked her where she had been, she said she spent the night with her sister. LIAR! I SPENT THE NIGHT THE NIGHT WITH YOUR SISTER!! Then the fight started...

[katiefishes]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.



She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me". And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too".
And then the fight started.....

[bababooey]

Hey Katie.


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,'Do you know her?''Yes,'I sighed,' She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife,'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

[katiefishes]

My husband asked me if I was up for a little sex.

I told him I was still good from earlier that morning.

Puuzzled he turned to me and said, but I was away on a trip?!

Then the fighting started.

[seamonkey]

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said,'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....

[rockhopper]

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s darn near perfect’.
And then the fight started…