December 28, 2008

The "If" Trap

Alcoholism respects no ifs. It does not go away, not for a week, for a day,
or even for an hour, leaving us nonalcoholic and able to drink again
on some special occasion or for some extraordinary reason --
not even if it is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, or if a big sorrow hits us,
or if it rains in Spain or the stars fall on Alabama.
Alcoholism is for us unconditional, with no dispensations available at any price.

Thought to Ponder....

The first drink has the last say.






This is timely advice, especially with New Years around the corner. Once I came into the program, I made a pact with myself that IF would stay sober for 6 months, I would start smoking pot again.

A lot of people I know say, man Rich, you got so many years of sobriety, cmon one driunk won't kill ya! Sure it won't, I can have one drink, one beer, one shot, one joint, and probably one dose of the psychedelics I used to love. Sure I could do that, one of anything won't kill me, and I admit it would be fun...

For a short while. Then I would want more, or combine them for a better high, like I always did. What's so effin fun about just fdrinking one beer - that's for lame losers - real men have a joint in one hand, two beers in the other - anyone else is a lightweight, right?

So if anyone gets into the trap that one won't hurt, remember that being "in recovery" is a lot different from being cured. A very good friend who had a lot of years of sobriety started making homemade wine a few years ago. I asked him to think of the possible consequences and where it could lead. Another mutual friend said - I don't know what you're so worried about, Rich, both you and him are cured, you guys should be able to drink with m anytime you want, ain't no big deal, you shouldn't be afraid to drink, if you get out of hand I'll stop ya!

Well, we're never cured, looking at it that way only puts ego into the picture. In remission sure, but saying you're cured implies you'll never drink again, and none of us can know what the future holds.

Foer my friend who was making the wine, he went on to buying the white rocks, smoking them for a few years, and turning into a walking corpse. It only stopped for him when he got locked up, came to me for help, and I wouldn't help him unless he signed himself into rehab.

Now 2 years later, he's a productive member of society, is responsible, is doing good step-work for his recovery, and is once again in inspiration to me by showing me there are endless possibilities of what we can do in our recovery.

IF anyone out there is putting conditions on thier drinking or saying they can stop THAT, and only do THIS, ask yourself if you are an alcoholic or addict. IF you know the answer to that, you know whether you can quit one and do the other without things creeping up on you.

Self-will gets us in trouble, and self-knowledge is something we sometimes ignore. Looking honestly at yourself will give you the answers or evidence you need.