Quote Originally Posted by DarkSkies View Post
One of mine:

I was 20, had a 18 yr old hottie that I was in love with. She's one that I look back with regret and wonder why things didn't work out differently with. Anyway, she had serious psychological problems, she wanted to be with me the most when she was with someone else, and ended up marrying a guy who beat her. Go figure.

Back to the story. I was bringin her and her girlfriend up to my place for some partying, I actually had some game way back then, pimp hand was strong. : We had to drive over an hour to get to my place, and I was up for 2 days with the different substances I was doin. I also drank a thermos of coffee before we started the trip.

We were drivin in the car, tunes blastin, great vibe, good jokes, I was on top of the world, and goin back to my place to party with 2 luscious babes.

Someone made a joke, and I started laughing, unfortunately at the same time releasing part of the thermos of coffee in my pants as my bowels forgot their function in the natural order of things.

Immediately I realized the need to pull over before the impending stench would let the hotties realize what I did. I cracked the window, muttering something about needing fresh air, and pulled over. "Gotta take a quick leak", I said as I ran out of the car.

I made it about 100 feet back in the woods bvefore I was hit with a 2nd explosion. Took care of that, but as I dropped my pants to get into position, I was greeted with a disgusting sight...

chocolate pudding everywhere!

I took my clothes off, got rid of the pudding underwear, wiped up as best as I could, and got everything back together. However there was still a foul stench to deal with, and I used everything within hand's reach to wipe up and clean back there.

Good thing there was no poison ivy around.

I must have been back there for almost 15 minutes. The girls were beeping the horn and yelling out to the woods, asking me where the hell I was.

(Women keep us waiting all the time, but God forbid you keep a woman waiting!)

So I made my way back to the car, making up a lame excuse how I went to take a leak, and fell down in a ditch. I don't think they believed me, but they were half high anyway. I think I did a pretty good job takin care of the stench. Just to be sure, I took a shower when we got home.

Didn't matter, because I didn't get lucky that night. We just got drunk and high, and I had to take them home the next day. Story of my life, but there were at least a few good sex stories in the middle somewhere.


So let's hear some of the other stories out there, gonna be a long weekend till the rain clears.
wow,you actually pulled that off,you got more than pimp-game for sure!